Life is a Beautiful Thing (4-Book Box Set)

by Harmon Cooper

  “Ah, that’s what we’ll do.” She begins explaining her plan to me and I smile. For once, I’m not getting the short end of the stick.

  FOUR (and a half) ∞

  **The following is an overview copied and pasted from the Wikipedia entry on body-switching. It has been included in this book for those curious about the technology.

  Body-switching or body-switch tech is an illegal life chip hack that stems from a computer virus created by Evelina Khromtchenko in 2072. It allows an individual to switch both the memory and neural correlates of consciousness (NCC) from their body to the body of a second individual who also has a life chip implanted. Body-switching uses a hardware device called a ‘switcher’ or ‘body-switcher’, which transfers all of an individual’s accumulated data while simultaneously transferring the second individual’s total data back to the first individual’s life chip. The person’s original thought processes and memories are wiped clean in their old body in a process known as an emotional data sweep, allowing them to function fully in the new body.

  History

  Main article: History of life chip technology

  Life chips were introduced in the 2050s, and the Federal Corporate Government of America immediately seized upon the technology to better respond to crises, track terrorist organizations, help medical professionals and better advertise to their constituents. Other countries quickly adopted life chip technology and it is most popular in authoritarian regimes. [citation needed] According to a poll conducted by the Global Life Chip Organization in 2080, 76% of the world’s population now has life chips implanted, a number expected to increase by 20% over the next ten years.

  Stuart Chen, the creator of the life chip, envisioned the technology as a personal hard drive that an individual could use to manage their life. Using data storage technology based on Intel’s vertically stacked solid state drives, Chen and his team at Datacrease created a micro hard drive which held four petabytes of information. The CPU recorded any and all sensations experienced by an individual, from tactile to neurological. It then stored this data on the micro hard drive, allowing an individual to freely send and store it over the iNet Cloud. Once field trials had been successfully completed in 2052, the FCG acquired the company’s patents and mandatory life chip implementation became federal law in 2054.

  Body-switching technology came about after the Russian hacker Evelina Khromtchenko discovered a way to switch her life chip data with the data of a friend using electromagnetic pulses. She created a virus known as a chip leech (Russian: чип выщеллачивания), which allowed one individual to transfer neural memory data with a second individual through the use of a switcher. The transfer took place through the life chip touch sensor implanted in an individual’s fingertip.

  After the Diplomat Switch Crisis of 2074, in which a waiter named Lodewijk Verhagen used force switch technology to change bodies with European Union leader Federica Bonino, body-switching technology was banned in most countries. However, recent data indicates that approximately 15% of adults have tried body-switching. [citation needed] Problems stemming from botched body-switches have resulted in more than 200,000 recorded deaths since its inception.

  FIVE∞

  Less than a week ago.

  “Short breaths!” Yeshi shouted as she blasted away from the restaurant with Meme-as-Nelly, leaving Nelly-as-Tyro and her Humandroid assistant, Noah, to die. Meme’s contractions were four minutes apart, ninety seconds a pop. Yeshi had already uploaded a manual on birthing assistance and was ready to go.

  “Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” Meme-as-Nelly moaned. “It’s coming Yeshi, it’s coming! The baby! Ay, caramba!”

  “No it isn’t, not yet anyway.” She let go of the steering wheel. “Autopilot on.”

  The aeros switched to autopilot and Yeshi climbed to the backseat. Although all aeros could run on autopilot, in certain places – most notably the States – people preferred autonomy so they either manned the vehicles themselves, or they had a Humandroid driver – mostly as a status symbol.

  “I’m here, Meme!” she said, pressing her palms around his face. “The aeros is on autopilot now. It will take us to the border. We can stop there … ” she looked down at Meme’s bulging stomach. “We can stop there and get this baby out.”

  “I thought Nelly was … eight months … the baby is early.”

  “Eight months and almost two weeks. The baby is early, but its lungs are fully formed so everything should be fine.” Yeshi looked around the aeros. “Yes! I didn’t see that before. Nelly has border immunity. We just need to get to Mexico and we can get you to a hospital there. We don’t even need to stop.”

  “I don’t know if I can make it!” Meme-as-Nelly screamed, clutching his stomach.

  “Short staccato breaths!” Yeshi breathed in and out in quick bursts, showing him what she meant. “You can do it. Your contractions aren’t too bad yet I mean, the baby is coming but it will be a while, maybe thirty or forty minutes. Relax, honey.” Yeshi kissed him on the cheek.

  “This is horrible! Get this fucking wretched baby out of me!”

  Yeshi smiled. She would never be able to have a fucking wretched baby herself, but she’d be able to witness childbirth firsthand. There was something magical about it, something truly wonderful about a creature that replicated in such a primitive, natural way. She scanned Meme’s vitals once again, noticing the extent to which his cervix had dilated. The baby would be coming sooner than she’d hoped.

  “Aeros: medical emergency, faster, California-Mexico border checkpoint,” Yeshi said aloud. A light blinked near the steering wheel indicating the message had been received.

  “Yeshi!” Meme-as-Nelly was panting now, his face red and running with sweat.

  “Spread your legs wide,” Yeshi instructed. “Use your hands to hold them.” Yeshi moved to the divider between the seats and pressed the lever beneath the passenger seat to move it all the way forward. “There, we have more space now. Switch with me.”

  Yeshi helped Meme-as-Nelly switch sides until he was directly behind the passenger seat, facing the other way. For her part, Yeshi was crouched on her haunches with one foot on the seat and the other on the floorboard.

  “All right, spread your legs now and remember, short staccato breaths.”

  Meme spread his legs open and Yeshi began unrolling his tights. The auto-piloted aeros twisted downward to a lower airlane. Lack of centripetal force caused one of Nelly’s perfume bottles to slide across the floor.

  “Hold still, Meme.” Yeshi yanked the tights off one of his legs and moved to the other. “That’s a surprise – she isn’t wearing any underwear…”

  “I noticed that,” he grumbled through shallow breaths. “What a freak.”

  After Meme-as-Nelly’s lower half was naked, Yeshi moved to his top half.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Keep breathing.” She ripped open Meme-as-Nelly’s shirt, letting his breasts spill out. She moved back to his legs and began examining his vagina. “Crowning. The baby is coming sooner than I hoped. Aeros: speed, faster.”

  A voice emitted from the dashboard. “Unadvisable speed, unadvisable speed.”

  “Override!” She placed her hands directly in front of Meme-as-Nelly’s vagina, ready for the head to emerge. “Short breaths, Meme. Don’t overdo it! I want you to start pushing … ”

  “Pushing! I’ve never given birth! I’ve never had a … arrgh!”

  “Push between contractions. Push! Push!” she scanned his vitals. “Push! Push! Wait for it … ”

  “HOLY SHIT THIS IS HORRIBLE!” Meme’s face scrunched up.

  “Now! Push now!”

  Meme-as-Nelly screamed at the top of his lungs.

  “Good! Good! Keep pushing, slow breaths.”

  The baby’s head appeared. Yeshi sprang into action, carefully unwrapping the umbilical cord from the baby’s neck.

  “Again, Meme, again! You’re going to be a mama!”

  “WHAT!
?” Meme shrieked.

  “Quit screaming and keep pushing!” Yeshi now held the infant’s head in her palms. “Breathe like me.” She exhaled audibly through her open mouth. Humandroids breathe just like humans, but they inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen; they use the carbon dioxide to cool their internal processors.

  Meme copied Yeshi’s breathing pattern. He pushed again and more of the baby’s body emerged until the entire thing flopped out onto the seat in one fell swoop. “ARRRGH!” he gasped.

  “It’s a girl!” Yeshi said (but she could already tell this when she did a vitals scan back at the restaurant). The baby started crying, moving its beet-red little hands. She continued to support the baby’s head, tilting the baby at a 45-degree angle to allow the fluids to drain. “I need to place the baby on your chest.”

  “It’s sticky! And… white… and… red…” he started breathing in short breaths again. “It stinks in here!”

  “Quiet, Meme, this is important! It activates a hormone called oxytocin, which speeds along the delivery of the placenta.”

  “How do you know all this?” he coughed.

  “Mothers just know things.” Yeshi placed the baby on Meme’s chest, covering it in his shirt. Gravity changed as the aeros began its descent. “Hold the baby at a slight angle,” she instructed Meme-as-Nelly. “Head on your shoulder. Hold it tight; we are violating speed laws now.”

  She used Nelly’s tights to mop up some fluid on the baby’s chalk-white face. She was completely fascinated with the little prune-like head. Its eyes were shut and its lips were curling as it cried through little gulps of air. It was life incarnate.

  “Why is my stomach still hurting?” Meme asked. “Shit this is terrible!”

  “The placenta and a portion of the umbilical cord are still in your stomach,” she explained. “It may take up to thirty minutes for the placenta to come. If we continue at this speed, we will be at a hospital across the border by that point.”

  The aeros autopilot looped down into a lane designated for FCG approved vehicles. The border checkpoint was still forty-five miles away, but it was never too early to designate lanes.

  “What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?” Meme had started to cry, which was tensing up his body.

  “You’re supposed to breastfeed her… this will help reduce the flow of blood.” She helped him shift the baby downward until its little lips latched onto Meme-as-Nelly’s nipple. “Stop crying and relax.”

  “Fuck that feels strange,” he said. The baby was sucking full throttle. “My God!”

  “Relax, she is still attached to you. I don’t have anything to cut the cord… aside from my teeth.”

  “Teeth!? Don’t bite the baby’s umbilical cord!” Meme gave the child a less-than-motherly look. “I don’t think either of us is ready for that.”

  Yeshi moved into the spot between the front and back seat and kissed Meme on the cheek. “It’s so cute,” she said, pressing her painted nail into the baby’s little hand. “Yes you are, baby girl, you are so cute.” She smiled at Meme. “And you … you are a beautiful mama.”

  SIX∞

  “Please come in.”

  Dustin Grier sat behind a metal desk with carbon fiber legs. He was a large man, suety and broad-shouldered. A triangle-shaped goatee hung from his chin, shaping his jowls. He took off a pair of wire-rimmed glasses and set them on his iDeskpad, which currently displayed the HuffingtonJones logo as its background.

  “Hello,” she said as she shook his hand.

  “Your name is Rinchi, correct? Nice choker, by the way.”

  “Yes and thank you.” She sat down, placing her large handbag next to the chair.

  “I read your message.” Grier looked troubled. “I was aware that the Humandroid sex industry was iniquitous, but I didn’t know the extent of … the depravity.”

  She nodded.

  “And you’ve been seeing a Humandroid therapist, correct?”

  “Yes, for six months now.” Rinchi crossed one leg over the other. Grier’s eyes flicked from her smooth legs to her bang-framed face.

  “You know,” he said, “I don’t quite understand the need for Humandroid therapy nor do I understand the FCG’s rationale for funding it. I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never actually met a Humandroid who has actually benefited from the practice. What are your thoughts on it? Sorry if I sound too judgmental here.”

  “It’s fine. Personally, I’ve benefited from it,” Rinchi said. “My therapist is wonderful. Talking to him allows me to better understand my place in human society; seeing him calms me in a strange way.”

  “And his name?”

  “Meme, Dr. Meme Lamar,” she said with a tight smile.

  Grier pulled up a blank document on his iDesktop and notes began to appear. Transfernote was a clever app created by the Evernote Company in the 2050s. It allowed a person to take notes in their head and pictures with their eyes, immediately transferring them to other devices over the iNet cloud. Like many applications in the digital age, Transfernote quickly evolved into something else entirely. Using the service, victims often transferred a picture of their killer before they were killed. Transfernote snapshots had been the key piece of evidence in thousands of murder convictions.

  Rinchi wasn’t too worried about this feature. ExEx – MercSecure’s sister company – was legally able to divert any Transfernote documents for an unspecified period of time. These documents were then archived in a large metadata facility in Wyoming that was partially owned by the FCG, GoogleFace and AppleSoft. The cat would remain in the bag until it suffocated.

  She performed a quick scan of the journalist’s vitals. There were no hormonal changes nor had there been any spike in his blood pressure – he was completely relaxed and she needed to do something about that. She bent forward to get something out of her bag. She did this purposefully, playfully, with the intent of letting him see a good chunk of her cleavage. Most heterosexual men were easily swayed by large, perky mammary glands.

  “My God!”

  “This is just one of the things I’m forced to wear,” Rinchi explained to him as she placed the medieval head cage on his table. “It clamps on my neck here.” She tapped the bottom of the BDSM toy. “As you can see, there is an opening in the bars here to allow for genital insertion.”

  “How bizarre … ” Grier took a picture with his eyes and the image appeared on his iDeskpad.

  She asked, “You did say you wanted to write an exposé about the Humandroid sex industry, didn’t you?”

  “Y-y-yes,” he stammered. Her eyes dilated as she scanned his vitals again, noticing that he’d become slightly aroused. Humans were eternally predictable.

  “Good, I’ve brought plenty of things to show you then,” she sighed. “I just … I just want you to get an idea of what we go through on a daily basis. I don’t have a choice, I don’t have a say – all I’m good for is fucking. That’s why I see a Humandroid therapist.”

  This last sentence appeared on his iDeskpad edited: I don’t have a choice, I don’t have a say – all I’m good for is fucking. That’s why I see a Humandroid therapist.

  “How exactly does one have sex with a Humandroid?” Grier gulped.

  “You’ve never seen a video?” she asked. He shook his head and she knew instantly he was lying. She said, “It works the same way sex with a human works. We consume six glasses of water a day, roughly forty-eight ounces, which allows us to produce a natural, algae-based lubricant. We can discharge your discharge – get it? – and we clean ourselves in the same way a human cleans themself.”

  “You said the lubricant was algae-based?”

  “Yes, but it is a different substance entirely. Algae contains the original molecular structure of the substance we use – an algae from Taiwan – actually. Don’t worry… there isn’t anything green about it at all. We secrete this in our mouths and … ”

  “Yes?”

  “Other places,” she said, registering the increase in his hea
rt rate.

  “What does it feel like?”

  “It feels…” she thought of what the countless men and women had said to her before. It feels real, it feels real enough, it feels better, it feels strange, it feels different, it feels fucking awesome, it feels weird, it feels nice, it feels tight. This list went on and on as most lists do.

  “Let me show you some of the other things I use,” she said.

  “By all means.”

  Rinchi bent forward again and took the wolf mask out of her bag.

  “You can use pollutes?” Grier asked.

  “No, but some men like it when I wear pollute masks.” She placed the mask over her head and tucked her hair into the back. Rinchi cocked her head slightly, a look that always increased sexual arousal in her male clients. “See?” she asked, her voice slightly muffled. “This one is custom – Alexander McQueen. It’s a little too alien-looking for my taste, but clients seem to enjoy it. I suppose it adds a little fantasy drama to the scene.”

  “Scene?”

  “Isn’t sex simply a scene? Action and cut?”

  “I suppose.”

  Keeping the mask on, Rinchi took a retractable suspension set out of her bag. At the twist of a knob, the bars grew in length until they were fully extended. “The cables are made of nickel-titanium. They can support up to five hundred kilos.”

  “And you can hang that from anywhere?”

  “Pretty much,” she said with her mask still on. “The grip on the suspension set is made from synthetic setae activated at the press of a button.” She looked up. “It could easily adhere to your ceiling. Would you like me to show you how it works?”

  He hesitated.

  Rinchi ignored his hesitation and retrieved a ball gag from her bag. “I have to wear this more than you could imagine. Most of my clients enjoy seeing a woman in compromising positions. Even with all the research I’ve read on the subject, experiencing it still fascinates me. The clients can get pretty rough. Sometimes the e-skin at the corners of my lips tears; luckily it’s reformed during my sleep cycle. It’s annoying.”