The Look of Love

by Bella Andre

Page 23

  Author: Bella Andre

  She wanted to say she was sorry for hurting him. For the way she kept hurting him. For the fact that she wasn’t saying “I love you” back.

  But all she could say was, “I’d like to go out on a date with you, Chase. ” When he didn’t immediately respond, she took a shaky breath. “Please say yes. ”

  His eyes were still dark, still intense as he said, “Yes. ”

  Her chest, her stomach, everything hurt. Ached for this beautiful man. She made herself smile. “I should probably put on a new shirt. ”

  He looked down then, seemed to notice the torn fabric for the first time. “I was too rough with you. I didn’t mean to do that. ”

  She silenced him with a kiss. “No. You would never be rough with me. ” She climbed from his lap and pulled a dress from the rack of clothes before leaving the living room. “It will just take me a few minutes to shower and change. ”

  * * *

  Chase sat with his head in his hands. What the hell had he just done? He’d all but attacked her up against the door. Chloe didn’t deserve to be treated like that. She was precious. He should have been gentle, no matter what.

  And he should stop blurting out how much he loved her over and over. It only made things worse. It only made her feel more cornered. More like things were out of her control.

  Knowing he’d only end up taking her against the bathroom tiles if he joined her in the shower, he went into one of the bathrooms neither of them had used and quickly soaped down. He was already thick and throbbing at the thought of Chloe naked, with water streaming over her body just down the hall.

  He turned the water to cold and forced himself to stand beneath the icy spray.

  He really wanted this to be a date. A real date.

  Not just a prelude to more sex.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Wow, this is stunning. I don’t think I would ever get used to this view. ”

  They were sitting at the corner table at Auberge de Soleil, high in the hills of Napa Valley, and Chase knew exactly what she meant. But it wasn’t the view he’d never get used to admiring.

  He couldn’t manage to drag his eyes from his date.

  The waiter came by and handed them each a glass of champagne. “Your brother, Marcus, wanted to let you both know that he hopes you enjoy your evening with us. ”

  “I should have known he had eyes all over this mountain,” Chase said with a crooked grin as he lifted his glass to Chloe. “The bastard probably won’t even let me buy my girl dinner. Always trying to assert his older brother status. ” He grinned at her. “We’ll just have to make sure we order the most expensive things on the menu. ”

  Chloe shook her head, obviously still surprised by his brother’s gesture. “It must be so amazing to be from a big family. To know that they’re always there for you. ”

  He wanted to tell her that being with him meant the entire Sullivan clan would take her in—and protect her—as one of their own. He wanted to give it to her as another reason why she never needed to be frightened again.

  Instead, not wanting to break the spell, he said as cheerfully as he could, “Sometimes it’s great. Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass. Now, if we could forget about Marcus and the rest of my siblings for a moment?”

  She looked up at him, their eyes linking, sparking as she nodded. “Forgotten. ”

  “Good. Because I want you to myself tonight. ”

  “Tonight,” she echoed, “I’m yours. ”

  Warmth infused his chest—hell, his entire soul—just to hear her say those two words.

  I’m yours.

  Chase lifted his glass. “To rainy nights. ”

  She tipped her flute against his, murmuring, “To rainy nights” in a husky voice.

  He continued to hold his glass against hers. “And to one very lovely woman that a storm brought into my life. ”

  Her eyes were glassy as she put her flute to her lovely lips and took a sip.

  * * *

  “You know,” she said a while later, after eating some of the best food she’d ever tasted, “this just might be the most romantic dinner date I’ve ever been on. ”

  “I figured you and I were long due for a little romance. ”

  Chloe cocked her head as she looked at Chase. Really let herself look.

  At first, she’d been too blown away by his outward beauty to really see much. And then, she’d been afraid to stare because of what she might see in his eyes when he looked at her. . . and what he might see mirrored right back at him.

  How could he not see that he’d been romancing her every single second since he strode out to her on that rainy road and told her to get into his car?

  She smiled at the memory of that first night. How she’d wanted him despite herself—and liked him a great, great deal more than caution warranted.

  She let herself pretend, for just a few moments, that this really was her life. That Chase was the man she’d been with for years. That they went on romantic outings to Napa Valley starred restaurants all the time.

  And that she was happy, not just for one night. But always.

  Because she was loved.

  Really and truly loved for who she was.

  “It’s another reason why your photos are all so beautiful,” she found herself saying to him. “You aren’t just creating the fantasy for all of us. You want to believe in that fantasy, too, don’t you? I swear, your whole life you must have had to fend off women with big, long sticks. ”

  He gave her his best version of lecherous. “Just one really big stick. ”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “I set you up perfectly for that, didn’t I?”

  The waiter came to refill their water glasses just as she asked, “Are the rest of your brothers like you? Big and tough on the outside, but gentle romantics on the inside?”

  As the waiter left, Chase pretended she’d just wounded him, his hand over his chest. “I once picked up a novel on my sister’s bed that used the words velvet-covered steel to talk about the guy’s junk. I’m pretty sure what you just said reduced me to a velvet-covered marshmallow. Our waiter may never look at me the same way again. He’s probably calling the club now so they can kick me out of it. ”

  Chloe laughed again, loud enough that a few heads turned to admire the beautiful couple in the corner. “Being a nice person doesn’t in any way change the fact that you’re all man. ”

  “That statement would have had a heck of a lot more impact if you weren’t half-giggling as you said it,” he informed her, half-joking, half-serious.

  Still giggling, she said, “Sorry. Although, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get the words velvet-covered marshmallow—or the image of it—out of my head. ”

  “I plan on making damn sure they’re gone later tonight,” he promised, heat flickering in his eyes along with the laughter.

  “So, back to your family. Are any of your other big, strapping brothers closet romantics?”

  She couldn’t help it—she loved hearing about his brothers and sisters, imagining how nice it would be to always know that they were there for you. To laugh with. To joke with. Even to argue with.

  “It will just be our little secret. ”

  Chase shook his head. “I’m pretty sure screwing anything that moves doesn’t qualify as romantic. Apart from Marcus. He’s the only one who doesn’t play that way anymore, although he definitely used to before he met his girlfriend. ”

  “Screwing anything that moves. ” Chloe worked to tamp down on the sudden twisting in her gut and tried to keep her voice light. “As long as everyone knows the score, I guess that’s okay. ”

  But Chase instantly saw through her. “I’m not going to lie to you. I used to be one of those guys. ”

  She swallowed, hating the thought of Chase so much as looking at another woman. Kissing another woman. Touching another woman. Making love to anot
her woman.

  Her stomach lurched and she abruptly put down her fork. “Okay. Thanks for being honest. ”

  He reached across the table, taking her hand in his. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to be that guy anymore. ”

  She wanted so desperately to believe him. But she knew first-hand that it wasn’t that easy. “But isn’t it exactly what you’ve been doing with me?”

  “No. ”

  “Yes,” she countered. “We met, I moved, we had sex. ”

  “You’re different, Chloe. You’re special. ”

  Angry at herself for how badly she wanted the fairytale to come true, she said, “How can you possibly know that? In the four days since we met, you and I have had sex nearly every moment that we’ve been alone. That fits the criteria pretty perfectly, doesn’t it? Odds are pretty darn high that you’ll move on to your next shoot and find another woman who can’t get enough of you. ”

  She could see that flicker of frustration on his face. The same one that had him taking her up against the front door a couple of hours ago.

  Why did she keep pushing him like this? Why couldn’t she just accept that he meant what he said about her?

  But she knew why, knew that deep down she was afraid she was the same twenty-two-year-old girl who had fallen for her ex’s lines, his pretty words, for a warmth she’d so desperately wanted to believe was there. . . and ended up marrying a man who didn’t know—or like her—at all.

  Chloe didn’t know what she expected Chase to say, if she’d thought he would drag her into the back of the restaurant to teach her another lesson about just how good they were together, but she definitely didn’t expect him to reach into his jacket pocket, pull out an envelope, and put it on the table.

  She looked at it, then up at him just as he said, “I didn’t fall in love with you because you’re so lovely it hurts to look at you. I didn’t fall in love with you because you make love like a dream. All of that is just a bonus. ”

  She swallowed hard. Those three sentences had just made the top ten things any man had ever said to her.

  Her hands trembled as she picked up the envelope.

  She could tell there were pictures inside it. And she was afraid to look at them.

  Not because she was worried about not looking pretty. . . but because she’d learned over the past few days that Chase saw everything.

  Especially the things people were trying their hardest to hide.

  Finally, she slipped a finger beneath the flap and pulled out the small stack of photos.

  She was laughing in the photo on top of the stack. Her mouth was wide open, her head was thrown back as she looked at something on Amanda’s phone.

  “She was showing me one of those funny auto-correct lists. A woman had texted her husband ‘I’m pregnant’ and he wrote back ‘I’m leaving you’ when what he meant to say was ‘I’m leaving now’ because he wanted to come home and celebrate with her. ”

  Tentatively, Chloe turned to the next photo. She was laughing again, this time in the middle of the pool, after falling in while trying to help fix Amanda’s hat at just the right angle.

  A smile moved onto her lips before she realized it was coming. “I had such a great time with everyone,” she said softly before turning to the next photo.

  Chase had captured her talking with Marcus that night at the party at his house. She’d been loose because of the wine and had let down her guard with Marcus after a surprisingly fun day with everyone. It was obvious just how desperate she’d been to let happiness take root within her heart again.

  Thrown off by what Chase was showing her about herself, she moved on to the next picture, one where she was packing up dresses and a half-dozen beautiful fabrics were spread out across her lap.

  She’d never seen herself look like that, had never see herself dreaming before.

  Emotion threatened to swamp her, so she quickly moved to the next picture in the stack.