Cruise Chaos

by A. R. Winters

“Hello?” I answered, before Sam could get me back.

  Ethan didn’t have much to say, but what he did have to say was enough to make me wince.

  “What’s the matter?” asked Sam, after I’d hung up.

  “It’s Edward and Harley. They’re both in Ethan’s office and they want me there too. Could you...” I nodded my head at the lounge to indicate I wanted her to keep things under control while I dealt with the latest fire.

  “Yep, no problem.” Sam patted me on the shoulder. “Good luck!”

  I waved goodbye to my friend as I hurried away. These days, I seemed to spend half my life scurrying back and forth between different destinations on the ship. Who needed to go to the employee gym when you could just run around after passengers and crew all day every day?

  Chapter 28

  Harley and Edward were sitting on one side of the pair of sofas in Ethan’s office, while the first officer waited uncomfortably on the other side. The married couple were urgently whispering to each other when I arrived, while Ethan sat with his hands on his knees and a stoic but concerned expression on his face.

  Entering, I caught a lingering trace of the disinfectant smell of the sickbay coming from Harley’s still-bandaged head. Edward’s hand clutched a new cane, a plain wooden one without a fancy brass top. His former one would need to be handed over to the police as evidence.

  “Finally,” said Harley with a glare of greeting when I arrived.

  Edward just raised his chin half-heartedly by way of greeting.

  “Adrienne, so glad you could join us,” said Ethan. He did sound glad to have the numbers evened up.

  “How are you?” I asked Harley. She may have been mad but I could still be polite to them all.

  “I’m fine, no thanks to you. This is all your fault.” While Harley spoke, Edward leaned over and placed a supportive hand on her knee.

  Urgh. It was going to be one of those meetings.

  “Edward and Harley were just explaining to me how they planned to sue Swan cruises,” said Ethan with a frown.

  “Oh,” I said.

  “And me…” continued Ethan. I winced at him.

  “And you,” said Edward, loudly finishing Ethan’s sentence for him.

  Oh great. Wonderful. That’s just what I needed. No doubt I’d get fired on top of it all too. Swan wouldn’t want employees who got sued by the customers and honored guests they were supposed to be looking after.

  “I’m really sorry, you two,” I said to them in my best, most endearing and charming voice. The one I’d used as a child after accidentally eating a slice of cake before the guests arrived, or when Sam and I had accidentally got one of the horses to kick in the living room window—don’t ask.

  Harley was shaking her head already. I idly wondered whether she was supposed to be doing that quite so enthusiastically in her condition. She let her husband do the talking though.

  “It’s unacceptable. It really is. Not only did you accuse me of plotting to throw my wife overboard, you also accused me of beating her over the head with my own cane!” He glared down at this replacement cane, clearly finding it wholly unsatisfactory. Without the brass handle, though, it would make a much less deadly weapon.

  Harley nodded firmly in support of her husband, but let Edward do most of the speaking for them.

  “I mean it when I say I’m really sorry about what happened. Truly, I am. I didn’t mean to cause any problems, or make false accusations. I was just trying to do the right thing.” I was staring down at the floor by the time I finished. What more could I say? I’d messed up and now I was paying the price, and then some.

  Harley sighed and shook her head.

  “Look. You’re young, you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re new at this, and you’re clearly a little... simple.”

  In my head, I got up and smacked her across the face at that.

  In reality, I just sat there nodding. It sounded like she was going to let me off the hook so I’d listen to what she had to say for the moment.

  “Sorry,” I said so softly the words barely came out. Harley didn’t even acknowledge this apology.

  “So perhaps we’ll just sue the company and not you two personally. Right, Edward?”

  “Hmph,” he said in a somewhat agreeable tone. I took it that the strange noise was an affirmative.

  “Oh, thank goodness,” I said. “I really am sorry.”

  With one of many crises now averted, I remembered something. In all the commotion yesterday, we’d forgotten to ask Harley about a rather important question.

  “Harley? I have to ask you something.”

  Ethan looked at me curiously, while Harley lowered her chin and stared at me. “Yes?”

  “In the dress you loaned to my friend—which we’re really grateful for, by the way—she found a note.”

  Harley’s eyes narrowed and her stare made me feel even more uncomfortable than before.

  “Yes?” she said with a voice like granite. If granite could talk, that is.

  “There was a note from Felicity, asking you to meet her the other evening...?”

  “Oh. Oh, I see. I see now.”

  I didn’t.

  “Sorry?” I asked.

  “Oh yes, you will be. You’ll be sorry indeed.”

  “Err,” Ethan interrupted the newly-charged atmosphere, “I think there might have been a little miscommunication here—”

  “Miscommunication? I don’t think so. This girl is accusing me of going to the library and murdering Felicity, aren’t you? Aren’t you?”

  “No!” I felt like crying. But that would have been embarrassing, so I got angry instead. “I did not say that, not at all. We’re just trying to find out what happened. You said that about going to the library and killing Felicity, not me. You.”

  We both glared at each other like two angry cats. I saw Edward put a calming hand on Harley’s shoulder, but she shook it off right away.

  “All you’ve done is make accusations! Against Edward, against me, against this Betty, and now against me again! Scratch what I said before. You’re going to the top of the list. My lawyers are going to eat you alive, missy.”

  “Not if the police arrest you first!”

  “Everyone? Let’s calm down a minute,” said Ethan. Both Harley and I gave him withering looks. Being told to calm down tends to have the exact opposite effect on me. Harley, too, by her expression.

  “Why couldn’t she just answer a simple question without jumping to conclusions?” I asked pointedly.

  “Why can’t she keep her trap shut without accusing everyone and everything of being a murderer every two minutes?” asked Harley just as pointedly.

  “Please, Mr. and Mrs. Dane, I really don’t think Adrienne was making an accusation. She and I both were just wondering whether you’d spoken to Felicity that night, that’s all. There’s nothing more to it than that.”

  Harley did not look convinced. Edward remained in stoic silence, his hand now resting on his wife’s knee in silent support.

  “I can read behind the lines. I know what she was getting at,” said Harley, but her tone was a little more subdued now. “We’re suing all of you. It’s decided.”

  Ethan nodded along. “Of course. That’s your decision.”

  “And for your information, yes, I got her note, but no, I did not go and meet that horrible woman that night. Okay?”

  Harley stood up, grabbing Edward’s hand as she did so.

  “We are going to our cabin now. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t accuse either of us of being murderers again for the rest of this trip. Do you understand?”

  Ethan and I stood up too.

  “Bye,” I said cheerily. Not because I was happy, but because I thought it might annoy Harley. She ignored me as she led her husband out of Ethan’s office by the hand.

  “I’m sorry, Ethan,” I said in a small voice when they’d finally gone.

  He put a hand on my shoulder.

  “Yeah, me too. Sue buddies?�
��

  I tilted my head at him, not understanding.

  “I mean, being-sued buddies. You and me both. “

  I slowly shook my head, not really believing it.

  “She seemed pretty mad.”

  “Yeah. Perhaps a little too mad, don’t you think?” said Ethan with raised eyebrows.

  “Yeah. And I’m not convinced she didn’t meet with Felicity. She got very worked up about it.”

  Ethan nodded at me. “Yep. I’m writing this all down for my report to be submitted to the police, by the way. I think even if they do decide to go through with it, they won’t have a chance of winning.”

  That cheered me up about one percent.

  BZZZ.

  I looked at my phone. I had a message. Cece and Sam were going for lunch in the big staff mess and they wanted me to join them.

  “Looks like you’re busy,” said Ethan, glancing at my phone.

  “Just lunch.”

  “Try and enjoy it. Don’t worry too much about the Danes, Adrienne. I’m sure once they calm down, they’ll stop all this talk of suing us. And if not, well I’ll be there with you, okay?”

  “Thanks,” I said and I really meant it. “Talk to you later.”

  I left his office despondent. Even with him on ‘my team,’ it didn’t alleviate the worry.

  Chapter 29

  When I arrived at the staff mess, Cece and Sam were sitting at one of the orange picnic benches near the entrance to the large, low-ceilinged room, deep in conversation.

  “Hey,” said Sam when sat down next to her. “I told Cece about the stowaway. Anything new?”

  “Not really. Just that I’m being sued.”

  “No way!” said Cece, smacking her hand on the table.

  “Yes way,” I said. “And so’s Ethan. And Swan cruises. The Danes are really mad.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” said Cece. “They’ll never win. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She hesitated. “Well, nothing too wrong anyway. Nothing they’d win in court over.”

  “Thanks.” I didn’t really believe her but it was nice to hear.

  “What did she say about the note?” asked Cece, leaning forward. The note had been her discovery, and she was keen to see what it had led to.

  “When I asked Harley, she said I was accusing her of killing Felicity, and that she was definitely going to sue me,” I said with a shrug.

  “That sounds suspicious to me,” said Cece.

  “Yeah, she’s being over-defensive,” Sam agreed.

  “Maybe. Or maybe she really is mad at all the accusations.” I didn’t really want to talk about it anymore. “Any thoughts about the stowaway, Cece?”

  “Yeah, I was right.”

  I cocked my head at her. “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t you remember, when you told me about the new catering employee called Betty Dwayne, and I said there was no such person? I was right.”

  “I guess you were.” Another defeat for me. Cece had indeed told me that she’d never heard of the employee. I thought I had one up on Cece for once, knowing a staff member before her. But nope. It was a fake. An impostor.

  “Ooh, do you think she was in the room when we were?” asked Cece, eyes wide with excitement.

  That kind of thing didn’t excite me. I suppressed a shudder.

  “Can you imagine? If she’d been in the room watching us. I think we would have seen her though. It’s not a big room.”

  Cece nodded sadly. “I guess. Hey, do you think she’s working with Harley? Maybe Harley went and killed Felicity so that Betty could have her room.”

  I looked over my shoulder to make sure there were no sneaky Danes listening in.

  “Shhh. If they hear you saying that, they’ll sue you too.”

  Cece laughed. “Good luck. They won’t get much out of a poor housekeeper.”

  The staff mess hall was located under the waterline, far from the passenger facing sections of the ship. That was why it was a big surprise when an angry passenger stormed in.

  “There you are!” said Oliver McGinty loudly as he arrived at our table.

  “Guests aren’t allowed here,” said Sam with a frown.

  “Nuh-uh,” said Cece shaking her head at him in a manner that struck me as vaguely threatening.

  “Can I help you with something?” I asked him. “Are you lost?”

  “I’m not lost. I thought it was you who was lost. You’re never around. Aren’t you supposed to be managing this murder mystery cruise?”

  I dug my fingers into my palms under the table.

  “What’s the matter?” That was about as polite as I was going to get right then.

  “You know what the matter is!”

  We all gave him questioning looks. Clearly, we’d all forgotten.

  “Could you tell us again?” asked Sam.

  “My books!”

  “What about your books?”

  “They’re still in that blasted library! The room that’s locked up. I can’t get them. I need to check on them, and I need to start selling some too! This is a working holiday for me, you know. Part of my arrangement was that I got to sell my books during the cruise. And I can’t sell my books if they’re locked up in that blasted library!”

  “No one’s allowed in there,” said Cece.

  “Yep. It’s all sealed up,” said Sam. “Sorry about that.”

  That made me think of something. An interesting thought. A good thought. Listening to Oliver had given me a good idea.

  “Say, guys?”

  Oliver McGinty and my two friends both looked at me.

  “You know, Felicity Bull’s cabin was locked up after she died. But that Betty was in there. What if...?” I let the rest of the sentence hang in the air and finish itself inside Cece and Sam’s minds. I didn’t want Oliver to know what I was getting at.

  “She’s got to be!” said Sam.

  “I bet she is!” agreed Cece.

  We were in agreement. There was a good chance that our stowaway Betty Dwayne was using the library as her personal cabin.

  “Come on,” I said hurrying to my feet.

  “Excuse me? What’s going on?” said Oliver in confusion.

  All three of us ignored him, leaving him standing red-faced and puffing angrily in the staff mess as we hurried to the library.

  It was time to catch our killer

  For real, this time.

  We hurried through the ship, clanging through the lower hallways until we reached the passenger-facing parts of the ship. There, our heavy footsteps turned to dull thumps on the softer, carpeted flooring as we rushed past surprised passengers, staff and crew.

  When we got to the conference suite, it was deathly quiet. The mystery guest passengers were supposed to have lunch in the ship’s restaurants today.

  “How do we get in?” asked Sam when we arrived outside the ‘library,’ panting.

  Cece and I exchanged a glance.

  “Like this,” said Cece, holding up the keycard hanging from her lanyard.

  The red light on the door panel went from green to red, and the automatic lock disengaged with a whirr and a click.

  “It opens every door on the ship,” I said to Sam.

  “Does mine do that?” she asked, frowning down at her own keycard.

  Cece and I both shook our heads.

  “Nope, hers is special,” I explained with a shrug.

  “Ready, guys?” asked Cece, hand on the door, ready to fling it open.

  We looked at each other and nodded. We were as ready as we were ever going to be.

  “On one, two… three!” Cece flung the door open and Sam and I hurried inside.

  There, sitting at the back of the room in an armchair, with her legs propped up on another chair that she had moved for the purpose, was Betty Dwayne, leaning back and relaxing as she read a newspaper. A newspaper from Arizona a year previously, I realized with an angry glare.

  When we burst in, she shot up out of her chair like a jack-in-the-b
ox.

  “Oh!” she cried.

  Seeing us, she started to hurry across the room to circle around us toward the door. I changed my angle of approach, heading straight for her.

  “Stop!” I shouted.

  She didn’t stop. She kept running. So did I. She was older and slower than me, and I easily managed to intercept her, Sam still just behind me. Cece had stayed by the door, blocking it in case she got past Sam and me.

  “Oops!” she said loudly as I crashed into her, winding us both.

  “Oh!” said Betty again as she toppled over. I landed on top of her and pushed down on her arms to stop her from moving. Sam crouched down and grabbed her legs to stop her kicking.

  Cece left her position by the door and hurried over, standing above me.

  “Betty Dwayne,” shouted Cece loudly, “you’re under arrest!”

  I glanced up at Cece as if expecting her to be holding a police badge.

  It was just something about the way she said it. Ludicrously, for a moment, I imagined that my friend was an undercover police officer who’d just been waiting for this moment to reveal herself.

  She didn’t have a badge.

  But she did have such a fierce look on her face that I promised myself I’d make sure never to get on the wrong side of her.

  “Get off me!” said Betty indignantly. “You can’t treat me like this.”

  “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t go around murdering people,” said Sam, who still had an iron grip on Betty’s ankles. “Then we wouldn’t have to.”

  “Maybe we could let her up, and call Ethan.” I said begrudgingly. “She won’t be able to escape if all three of us keep an eye on her.”

  “I can tie her up if you want,” offered Cece. “I know all kinds of knots.”

  I gave her a curious look and then realized that I didn’t want to know.

  “I think we’ll hold off on that for the moment. I’m sure she realizes now she won’t be able to run anywhere with us three here. And she’d still be stuck on the ship anyway.”

  “Don’t try and run! If you do, next time we’ll break your legs,” Cece threatened. She sounded pretty serious.

  I climbed off Betty and Sam released her legs.