Caitlyn Box Set

by Elizabeth Davies

  I wondered if they were Tan’s or Cai’s. Had either of those two succeeded where their father had failed? I was glad Seisyll was dead. If I could have slain him myself, I would have done so. Although Idris had been the one who had carried the greater burden of blame for the death of my husband and the loss of my home, Seisyll bore his own share. I was also pleased to hear that none of his sons had worn Deheubarth’s meagre crown. I hoped his whole line had faded to dust and that nothing of him remained in this world.

  My bitterness was still alive and kicking, it seemed. I thought I had managed to put it to bed, but clearly I had not. Being on English soil and speaking with the man who had helped bring me down had caused the old memories, resentments, and hatreds to resurface.

  As these thoughts were running through my mind, I was conscious of Wulfstan’s scrutiny. He studied me with all the concentration of a fox with a rabbit, and it was nothing to do with wanting me as a woman, I conjectured, because the look in his eyes was not sexual. Rather, it was calculating, as if he was considering how best to use me.

  I had news for him – he was unable to use me at all. Whatever Wulfstan was planning or scheming, it would have to take place without any involvement from me. I knew he was already plotting with the Danes, but whether it was to overthrow Edward, I could not tell. It would be silly of him to do that, for he would be no better off under Godwin’s rule than he was under Edward’s. Worse in fact, because at least Wulfstan had a chance of the throne when Edward died, as things currently stood. Either he, or Brihtric (my heart constricted at the thought of my lover) would be right here when it eventually happened, and superbly placed to take the crown; unlike William, who would be several hundred miles away and with a notoriously treacherous sea in between to boot. If he were conspiring to bring Godwin and his sons back, then Godwin would also be well-placed to seize power, and he would have the might of the Danes behind him.

  What was Wulfstan playing at?

  I sensed a sudden change of mood. The palfrey was growing restless, the tossing of her impatient head making her bridle jangle, and Wulfstan stepped forward to take the reins from the man who was holding her.

  ‘Right!’ he exclaimed. ‘Are you going to let me see you ride her?’

  ‘I… er… if you wish.’ I longed to sit on her back, to feel the mare’s power, and spirit, and pride. She was an incredibly beautiful animal and the sight of her stirred me with a primitive joy. Half of me was elated to own her, to ride her, and the other half wanted to give the mare her freedom and watch her run without her flowing lines being marred by a saddle or bridle.

  I chose to ride, unable to resist.

  Wulfstan held her steady and his man helped hoist me into the saddle.

  The mare pranced and danced on her neat little hooves, and I gathered the reins and jabbed my heels into her side, to let her know who was boss. After a bit of crabbing and side-stepping, she acquiesced to my command and settled down, with just the tossing of her head and the occasional snort of protest.

  ‘I shall call her Aelwen,’ I said, more to myself than to Wulfstan, trying the name out for size. The sound of it filled my mind with memories and emotions which I had not dared to visit for a very long time.

  ‘It is Welsh,’ he observed accurately.

  I smiled, turned the animal’s dainty head with those wonderfully small pricked ears, and kicked her into a canter. Wulfstan had no need to know that I had just named his priceless gift after my mother. It made me feel closer to her somehow, despite the many years that had passed since I last saw her on my wedding day. If she was watching me from heaven, I hoped she would be pleased to share her name with an animal of such beauty and grace. To harness a horse like this one, was akin to trying to harness the wind. It could be done only for so long, and there was always the awareness that the wind could run free at any moment. My mother had reminded me of a capricious wind – my father thought she was tamed but she knew otherwise…

  The mare’s gait was smooth and balanced; she was a joy to ride, and when I let her have her head she bounded into a gallop, her mane streaming over my hands, her tail like a pennant behind her. She stretched her neck and ran for all she was worth, and with this animal beneath me and the wind in my face, I could pretend I was free.

  Of course, it was an illusion. When the mare finally slowed her headlong flight, I was panting as hard as she, and we both understood it was time to return. There would be no escape for either of us, today. If ever.

  Wulfstan was standing where I had left him, and as we came into view once more and drew closer, I saw the smile on his lips.

  It was not a happy smile. It was a satisfied smile, and I wondered if, in accepting this very generous gift, Wulfstan thought he had a hold over me.

  Little did he know, but I had already sold my soul. If Wulfstan wanted it, he would have to fight the devil for it. Or Arlette.

  I did not rate his chances too highly with either of them.

  Chapter 27

  Wife or no wife, and despite my best intentions, I could not keep my hands off Brihtric. Now that I had tasted the forbidden fruit of him, there was no going back. If I had been aware of his married state before that day in the woods, that day in the woods would never have happened. Not because I was squeamish about bedding another woman’s man, either, but because I was not in the habit of risking my heart. As for Brihtric – fidelity among the nobility was unheard of (for men, that is – for women it was imperative). Brihtric was only doing what men did, and I was not going to censure him for it, especially considering his situation. It must be difficult to be married to a woman who had the mind of a broken child. No wonder he strayed. Yet he had taken pains to assure me that any dalliances of his in the past had been precisely that – dalliances.

  This time, he swore, he had given his heart.

  It was making for a very thorny conversation tonight.

  ‘I will give her up for you,’ he insisted for the fourth time.

  I guessed he would, if I gave him the nod, and I also knew he would hate himself for it and he would eventually come to hate me, too.

  ‘I cannot stay,’ I replied once more.

  This conversation was going around and around like a mule on a treadmill, and getting neither of us anywhere.

  ‘If I speak to Duke William…?’ he suggested.

  ‘You can speak until your face turns blue, but he will not budge. I am his mother’s creature, not his. He will be expected to return me to her.’

  ‘Surely she cannot be that possessive? Women wed all the time. I can pay her for her trouble.’

  I snorted. Pay her? Brihtric did not have enough gold in his coffers to compensate Arlette for the loss of her familiar. It was not as though she could bespell herself a new one, was it? Besides, I did not like the idea of being bought and sold like a sow at market, never mind that fathers often paid dowries to sweeten the deal to persuade a man to take a daughter off their hands. This was similar to a dowry, but in reverse. It still rankled, however way it was couched.

  ‘She will not let me go.’ I insisted.

  Brihtric’s eyes narrowed and I could see from the set of his shoulders that his thoughts were travelling along a new path. ‘I understand,’ he said slowly, his voice like gravel. ‘You do not want to stay.’

  ‘No, I do, but—’

  ‘If you want me as much as I want you, you will let nothing stand in your way.’ He grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a little shake. ‘I love you, Caitlyn. Can you not see that?’

  I saw alright. I saw that he did indeed love me, but he was also in love with the memory of another. I saw that he would always harbour the tiny hope that Odella would emerge from whatever hell her mind inhabited, and that I would forever be second best – for I had no doubt that if Odella had been whole and hearty, Brihtric would not have looked at me twice. I saw all this, yet I loved him anyway. If my body had been my own, I would have gone with him willingly and damn the consequences.

  ‘I love you,�
�� I responded through wooden lips, knowing that it did not matter how true the words were, they made no difference. ‘Speak to William,’ I said, and there was pure selfishness in my motive. William would, of course, refuse to release me, and if Brihtric heard it from my lord’s lips, then he might realise that the decision was not mine to make, and had no bearing on the depth of my feelings for him.

  ~~~~~

  The day was fast approaching when it would be time for us to depart. William seemed well satisfied with his visit to England, and he’d had little for me to do so far. However, I expected his mood to change when I imparted my concerns regarding Wulfstan. I also had another reason for meeting with the Duke, but Wulfstan was more important and needed to be dealt with first.

  ‘From what you have told me, he has been trying to jamb his fingers into various pies for the past twenty-odd years and he is no further forward now than he was then,’ William said.’ It matters not if he allies himself with Godwin, for Wulfstan has little in the way of supporters. He can rally a few hundred men but that is all. However,’ he paused, and picked a stray hair off his jerkin as he thought. ‘He might be a way for Godwin to sneak back onto English spoil, bringing Diarmait and his men with him. Keep an eye on him for me, Cat. I want to know what he is planning. It may be time to rid ourselves of him altogether.’ He smiled at me, all teeth and wicked intent. ‘Or maybe, we remove the root, instead, and be done with it once and for all?’

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Godwin.’

  ‘Ah.’ I did not fancy that idea at all, because I would probably be the one to make it happen.

  It was a good plan, though, and I found my admiration for this man who should have been my son, growing daily. Yes, he was still gruff and a little rough around the edges, and his ire was quick to rise, nevertheless, for all his relative youth he made an impressive ruler. Here was a man who was obviously capable of being England’s king, and with Godwin removed from the contention, it would only leave Brihtric to fight for the crown when the time came.

  Brihtric… I would not kill him. Not even if William begged me to. I finally had a line I would not cross.

  ‘Is there something else you wanted to speak with me about?’ William asked, breaking into my thoughts.

  ‘Brihtric Mau has asked for an audience with you,’ I said. ‘I know what it concerns.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘He wants to ask you for my hand in marriage.’

  William was taken aback. In all the years he had known me, I had never shown even a glimmer of interest in a man. ‘Brihtric Mau?’ he repeated, sounding incredulous.

  ‘Yes, my lord.’

  He harrumphed. ‘I can see the attraction, but…’ He rubbed a hand across his face. ‘Your place is with me, Cat.’

  ‘Yes, my lord,’ I said again, bowing my head in acknowledgment. I knew exactly where my place was and needed no reminding of it.

  ‘Do you love him?’ he asked

  ‘Yes, my lord.’

  He grunted. Love did not usually come into the matter of marriage but I was, to all intents and purposes, a nobody, a nothing – I should be able to marry whomsoever I wanted. Not so for Brihtric. If he was thinking with his head and not his heart, then he should be putting his wife aside for a much better catch than I. Matilda would have been a far more substantial haul. I winced, hoping William’s thoughts were not travelling in the same direction as mine. Even if there had been no other factors, William would probably refuse Brihtric for that very reason.

  The Duke gave me a sharp look. ‘What should I say to him, Cat? Do you want to marry this man?’ He spat out the last word, clearly having not forgiven Brihtric for something that was not his fault in the first place. Brihtric had not asked Matilda to make a fool of herself.

  My heart swelled with similar amounts of love and sorrow. Brihtric loved me. The dangling promise of marriage to one of the most sought-after maidens in Christendom had not been enough to tempt him to renege on his wedding vows, but his love for me was.

  The thought of what I was doing to him made my heart bleed. I should never have given in to my baser desires. I could have admired him from afar and neither of us would have been any the worse for it. Now look at us. We made a right sorry pair. I would carry him with me in my heart and soul until the day I died, and I had an awful feeling he would do the same.

  Brihtric had been on an even keel until I stumbled into his life, and though the waters might have dark depths to them, at least he had sailed on top. Now both of us were being dragged through the surf.

  I am so sorry, my love, I thought. I should have known better – but for one mad moment, I thought I could steal a little happiness for myself. I should have guessed the devil would demand payment.

  ‘If I were to agree to this, would you stay in England?’ William asked when I failed to answer.

  This was the crunch. ‘No, my lord,’ I replied.

  ‘Cannot or would not?’ Oh, he was astute, was William.

  ‘Both.’ However, the point was a moot one. My mistress would never free me. Ever. I did not actually know if she was able to.

  A guard announced that my lover was here, and I took to my heels.

  William had been allocated a suite of rooms, and I hastened to his bedchamber. I could have hidden there as Caitlyn and Brihtric would have been none the wiser, but curiosity drove me and when I emerged into the room where William received guests, it was as Cat. I wanted to witness this meeting for myself.

  Neither man noticed me. William was too busy bristling at this rival for his wife’s and my affections. Brihtric was too intent on his task of convincing this man whose wife he had once spurned, to allow him to marry the woman he loved.

  What a mess.

  ‘Lord William.’ Brihtric bowed in greeting. I hoped he would not say anything rash, because if all went to plan, William would one day be his king.

  ‘Lord Brihtric.’ William did not bow. He frowned instead.

  ‘Lady Caitlyn—’ Brihtric began.

  William held up a hand, palm out. ‘I have eyes and ears,’ he said. ‘I can guess what you have come to ask. The answer is no.’

  ‘Will you hear me out, my lord?’

  ‘What is the point?’ William’s voice was flatter than an iced-over pond and just as cold. ‘You, I believe, already have a wife.’

  Brihtric was motionless, except for his eyes. They dropped to the floor, encountered mine, regarded me without really seeing me for a moment, then he said slowly, ‘That is true, my lord.’

  ‘So you want Lady Caitlyn to remain here as your mistress?’

  ‘No! I wish to wed her.’

  ‘What about the wife you already have?’

  ‘The marriage can be annulled.’

  ‘And if the Church does not agree?’

  Brihtric hung his head. That was a very real possibility.

  ‘I am not prepared to take a chance on it,’ William announced. ‘Lady Caitlyn means too much to me and to my mother, to risk betrothing her to someone who already has a wife. Cat will be returning to Normandy with me.’

  I wanted to sob at the expression on my lover’s face. He looked as bereft as I felt.

  ‘I would also appreciate it if you stayed away from her from now on,’ William added, the command couched as a request. ‘I just pray she is not already with child.’

  Oh, I had not thought of that, but it did provide yet another reason not to become any more involved in this doomed relationship. The mountains of his wife and my enchantment were already too great to surmount easily. Add to that my inability to give Brihtric a son…

  Love does not conquer all, it seems.

  ‘If she is, I vow to stand by her,’ Brihtric said.

  William nodded once. ‘It will not be necessary,’ he said softly. ‘I can take care of my own.’

  Brihtric blanched and I meowed softly. Both of us read the meaning behind William’s words – William was staking his claim. I did belong to the Duke, but not in the way Brihtric
now thought. Clever William…

  ‘I swear,’ Brihtric said, after a long pause. ‘I will break all ties with the lady from this moment forth.’

  ‘Good. Make sure you do. Ow!’

  My claws had only drawn a little blood. I understood that William was trying to do his best for me, but he could at least have allowed me to say goodbye to Brihtric in my own way.

  My yowl was unfeigned as William shoved me forcibly away with his booted foot.

  ‘Thank you for seeing me, my lord.’ Another bow from Brihtric. Another frown from William.

  I watched Brihtric leave with an ache in my heart and a weariness in my soul. All I wanted to do was to slink away and lick my wounds.

  William, as usual, had other plans for me. ‘Wulfstan is leaving shortly,’ he said, after the door had closed behind my love and I had retreated to the bedroom to turn back into me. The casual tone he used didn’t fool me – the duke was up to something. ‘I want you to go with him.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘You.’

  ‘As me or as…?’ I raised my eyebrows.

  ‘It will have to be as you.’ He sat down and rubbed his ankle where I had scratched him. ‘Wulfstan rode light. He did not bring supplies with him. If you accompanied him as a cat, you would be on foot. It would be difficult.’

  ‘What reason shall I give? I cannot simply ask him to take me to Castle Cary.’

  He smirked and I knew I wasn’t going to like it. ‘Brihtric has given me an idea. You can say that I have discovered your liaison with the Earl and that it offends me. I have cast you out, and with nowhere else to go, you are travelling to Wales to find your mother’s people.’

  ‘There are not many of them left,’ I protested. ‘It would be more realistic for me to remain here with Brihtric.’

  ‘I shall tell Wulfstan that Brihtric will not have you, that he has tired of you, and I will ask Lord Cary to take you under his wing, as he did with your mother.’

  ‘My mother,’ I too emphasised the word, but my tone was considerably more sarcastic than William’s, ‘had a crown and royal blood. She was a much better prospect than I.’