Rumor fidgets with the large silver cross ring she never takes off. It belonged to our mother—Gypsy Red. There are only two things my sister and I have in common, our blood and Rebel. Other than that, we are like daylight and dark. "Whatcha' doing here, Rumor?" my lips pop on her name. She wasn't a daughter to Slim, as I was, she didn't know him the way I did. He didn't love her like a daughter as he did me. She has no right to be here, shedding fake tears for a man she never really knew. This gathering is a secret wake being held in his memory, against my father's wishes. If Grim knew we were holding this wake, he'd raise hell. Rumor never goes against Grim's rules. I don't know who invited her. Yeah, I do—Rebel.
"Get bored with trying to push Sunshine out of the way so you can be my daddy's next cumbucket. I see the way you stare at him. You like him don't ya, bitch? I bet you lay in bed at night wondering how to get rid of his old lady so you can be his next top bitch." I laugh. It’s just to easy to mess with her.
“Really, Baby? I’m not the one who’s fucked everything with a dick that comes straggling through the door. You spread your legs like butter, better yet you’re the fucking community bike. Everyone’s had a ride.”
I want to get up in her face, drag the little bitch outside, and teach her ass a lesson. She has had it made. She had no idea what I have been through to become the perfect top bitch for the day Rebel claims me. All those nights I have watched him with other women, all of the tears I have cried for him, because of him, and he will claim me, not her. She can't have him. But me, I have been his since we were kids. When I was eight years old Rebel and Striker both promised they'd make me one of their old ladies when the time come. I know Striker didn’t mean it, but Rebel did. He even sealed the promise by giving me my first lip on lip kiss.
“Rumor, come on, there’s nothing more we can do here tonight. Let me take you home.” Rebel grabs her hand without giving me a second look. He'll be back after he takes her home, then he will be right where he belongs, inside of me, at least that is what I keep telling myself.
“Yeah, Rumor, go home and fantasize about my old man. Better hurry before Sunshine gets knocked up, or else you'll never get her out of his bed, whore,” I call out as Rumor disappears out the door. A part of me hates her because ever since my father brought her here, I’ve been second best, but then the other side of me feels sorry for her. My father is an asshole and she gets stuck spending a lot of her time with him. I love my father, even though I don't know why. I swore an oath to be under his command until I am taken as a top bitch. I’m glad he pours all of his attention and affection on her and leaves me to pursue Rebel—he will be my man, even if he doesn't know it yet.
Foxie joins me in Rumor's absence. "Slim sure did love you, kid." Foxie and Slim stepped in where others couldn't and was the best parents I never had. I know they were grooming me to be on Rebel's arm one day.
Slim would always say to me, "Baby, one day this club and these boys will be yours to look after." I know that was his way of telling me he wanted me to take their place at the top one day, by Rebel's side. Foxie looks like she has aged ten years over night, but I suppose losing your husband of twenty plus years will do that, even if they weren't together. I watch Foxie as she struggles to hold back her tears.
Wild Cherry takes Foxie in an embrace. I feel like an intruder looking in on them. The fact that they have united in their grief for Slim, is amazing to me. Wild Cherry stole Slim right out from under her. Foxie always said you can't steal someone's heart. That either a man loves you or he don't. I'm not sure if I believe that or not. I have watched my father have different kinds of love for many people, including Foxie. And I know a part of Rebel loves me, I just wish he loved me the way I love him.
Rebel hasn't touched me in weeks. Not since Rumor walked in on me giving him a blowjob.
I can remember it like it was merely five minutes ago instead of two weeks ago. Rebel was in my room, I was down on my knees praying worship to his cock, when in walks Rumor. She cried out in shock and stood paralyzed by what she was bearing witness to. I knew she had a silly crush on Rebel, but no way would he pay her any mind when he had me, or so I thought. He jerked his dick out of my mouth so fast I nearly drew blood as my teeth grazed his shaft. Turning my attention to what had interrupted my pleasing him I found a tear stricken Rumor looking as if someone killed her pet rabbit in front of her.
Licking my lips, I said, "What's the matter, sister? Can't have what your little sister has?" The look on her face was priceless.
She ran wildly from the room with her tears dripping to her shirt. Rebel looked down on me with contempt and sneered, "Why do you have to be such a bitch?" He hasn't looked at me or touched me another day since, at least not in the way he used to. But my time is coming. Rebel might not know it yet, but he is meant to be president, not Grim. And this girl is meant to be his top bitch, but not tonight. Rebel isn't ready to lead just yet. I still have a lot of work to do to get him where he needs to be.
Rebel is back in the kitchen minutes later. "Stop giving Rumor a rough time, Baby. You'd like her if you'd just give her a chance."
"Rebel, don't go meddling in things you don't understand," Foxie scolds him, and I hand him a beer.
"Damn, Baby. You got a gun for a fucking tongue. You’re hell on heels." He brushes his blond wavy hair from his face. I roll my eyes at him and take back that beer I just handed him. If he is taking her side, he does not get my beer. "Don't be cross with me, Baby. You know I just hate to see the two of you at each other's throats, you both mean a lot to me."
Foxie nudges the two of us together with a wink to me. I wrap my arms around him and give him a tight squeeze. "Thought you left?" I question him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
"Guess your sister didn't want me driving her home. She says I have been drinking too much." He nuzzles my neck tickling me with his days old stubble.
"For once I agree with her, but if you ever tell her that I'll have to kill you." Rebel snickers and places a kiss on my cheek.
"Come on. Let's go fire up some smoke and drink a little drink." He guides me into the living room where Striker and Tread are passing that joint.
The members are starting to clear out since there is nothing more to be done tonight. I take up the vacant spot next to Rebel on the sofa between him and Tread. I lay my legs across Tread and my head in Rebel’s lap. He strokes my hair and traces his fingers along the stars tattooed on my right arm. Tread begins to caress my legs. I know where this could lead...by the end of the night, I could be in the middle of a fuck me six ways to Sunday sandwich, if I'd ever allow things to go that far.
Rebel leans down and presses an intense, hard kiss on my lips. My soft tongue pushes through the slit in his lips, and true to fashion, he pulls away. He says he doesn't want me, that he's never going to be with me, but he says one thing and does another, especially when he is drunk. Rebel is an asshole in that way, but then again actions speak louder than words. Talk is cheap unless you are ready to put your money where your mouth is.
Besides they say a person is their most truthful when they are drunk, so what does that say about Rebel? He leads me one-way and then shoves me another. I wrap my hands in his wavy blond hair and he pushes my hands down and takes another hit off that chronic. Tread begins removing my knee-high black leather boots. I see Striker giving me a look of disappointment from across the room. Who is he to judge me? He sticks his dick in plenty of random women. I am just having a little fun. Nothing wrong with kissing someone. Who does he think he is the fun police? I swear you'd think he was my daddy. He is always interrupting my fun or sending me away just when the fun is getting started—he is worse than Grim.
“Fuck, Baby. I need you tonight,” Rebel, whispers against my mouth as he fights his tears for the father we’ve lost— the father he loved wholeheartedly. I may not be the woman he really wants, but I've got what he needs. No, he doesn't want sex from me, he just wants me here with him. Striker, Rebel, and I have always been the th
ree musketeers. My dad doesn't like it, says we are more like the three muskaqueers. Rebel, Striker, and I have always taken care of one another. Rumor walks back in strutting her shit, she takes one look at us on the sofa, grabs Trouble's keys and storms out. She is such a prude. She didn't even see us kissing or anything. My head is on his lap still, but damn he is only giving me a shotgun—blowing the smoke from the joint into my mouth, so that I am getting high without actually smoking it. It doesn't count if I am not the one puffing on it. I could say what the presidents say, I didn't inhale, yeah right.
Rebel goes chasing after her, as usual. Where Rebel leaves an empty seat, there is another brother willing to take his place. Tread takes Rebel's position beside me and takes over giving me the attention I crave.
Tread is a patched brother, he does well...a lot of running for the club, he is the moonshine runner, and he handles most deliveries. He actually had the balls to take me with him to work. It was supposed to be a date. He isn't very romantic, but the man can fuck, or so I hear. He rides his women as hard as he does his Harley. Not that I would know from experience. I am not a whore. I might mess around kiss and things like that, but I still have my V-card. Grim would flip his shit if he ever found out I have dated any of the Black Rebels, but Foxie makes sure that he doesn't. She always covers for me. I know she wants me with Rebel just as badly as I do, but like me, she knows he isn't ready for it, and until he is, a girl can play.
Our fun is stopped when Rebel comes storming back inside the cabin. I guess big sister didn't want to hear his pathetic excuses, I don't know why he bothers with her. He could have me if he'd just say the word. Rebel grabs a beer and goes into the guest bedroom. At least he is alone. I know when to give him his space. Tread cuts his losses and takes off, knowing I never go any further than a few kisses.
“What do you think is going to happen now that Slim is gone?” I nonchalantly ask as Striker grabs us a beer while I roll a joint. "Rebel needs to rise up and take his rightful place and fill your daddy’s shoes. He might not want to face it, but that’s the harsh reality of it. Grim only cares about Grim, and well Rumor and Sunshine. He’s not like Slim and Rebel or you.” I lick the rolling paper and pass it over to Striker. He always rolls tighter than I do.
“I guess we will find out tomorrow. Now you gonna fire up this joint or are you gonna babysit it all night?” I stick my tongue out at him.
"Go ask your dickweed of a brother if he wants a midnight toke, he looks like he could use it."
Rebel comes back into the living room to smoke with us. Striker passes out on the couch, leaving me alone with Rebel. I know he is drunk, but that has never stopped me from trying before. It worked the night I attempted to give him a blowjob. I had no idea what I was doing but he seemed to be enjoying it, until Rumor interrupted us.
"You want some company?" I shove him towards the bedroom.
Rebel comes to a stop outside the door of the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe he looks three sheets to the wind, but he manages to give me a wide smile. "Baby, you are one of my best friends."
"I know." I lean up to kiss him and he pushes me a little too roughly, sending me to the floor on my ass.
"Fuck, I’m sorry, didn't mean to do that." He shakes his head holding onto the frame of the bedroom door for support with one hand, as he helps me back to my feet. "Baby, you sure you want to cross this line?" He wraps his arms around me, pushes me through the door, and down on the bed, not giving me an opportunity to think about it.
Throwing his favorite line to me back at him as I straddle him. "Rebel, don't be cross with me. I couldn't bear it if you were mad at me." Batting my lashes at him I lean down close and whisper against his lips, "You know I care about you, baby.” He swallows hard and stares up at me. He rolls me off him and I pout. “Kiss me...tell me you don't feel something, and I will never lay a finger on you again unless you ask me to." He looks at me as if he is having a war with himself. "Don't be a chicken shit, it's one kiss. And I don't mean no little peck. I want a real kiss, tongue and all. Those are my terms." I smile in victory when he licks his lips before leaning down over top of me.
"One kiss," he whispers more to himself than to me, before he crashes into me, our bodies mold together becoming one. His lips melt into mine, and I know he feels something when he gets lost in our kiss. Our tongues are dancing with desire. I feel it when he fully gives into his passion. The firmness in is pants is pressing against my stomach. His fingers are threaded in my red hair, before they begin traveling down my neck to investigate my torso. He unbuttons my shirt exposing my ample chest.
Rebel's hands discover their way to my breasts, followed by his skillful mouth. My hands tug on his zipper. I want this to happen—I need this to happen. I yearn to know he loves me. I would do anything for Rebel...anything. With his help, I ease out of my shorts and panties, and I help free him from his jeans. Rebel's tip is pressed at my liquid center ready to give in and show me he loves me too. The room is silent except for the heaviness of our breathing. I arch my back and he prepares to slide into me.
I look into his eyes hoping top see love there, but I don’t. Disappointment fills me and my heart aches in my chest.
For my first time, doing this with Rebel when he won't even remember makes me feel cheap...used. I stop him. "Rebel." I push him off of me. I don't long for him like this. Do I really love a man, who can only be with me when he is too drunk to commit it to memory it?
"Thought, this is what you wanted." He looks at me through glossy eyes. I doubt he will recollect any of this tomorrow.
"Do you love me, Rebel?"
"That's a stupid question, you know I love you. I love you, Baby." He moves to kiss me and I pull away.
"But not in the way that I want you too. Did you tell Rumor I was like a sister to you?"
"What's going on with you? You've been after me. Always throwing yourself at me. I'm giving you what you want."
He’s right. Being with him is all I have ever wanted. I think about it all the time. About being his girl.
"Will it hurt?" I have been dreaming of this moment. Rebel pleasing me and making me his and it is nothing like I anticipated. I thought it’d be more romantic than this.
"Jesus, are you telling me you’re a virgin, Baby?"
"I was saving myself for you. So I'd only ever be yours the day you claim me."
"Baby, I'm not going to claim you, and goddamnit I am not taking your virginity!" Rebel is so pissed at me, now I've done it. I should have known he'd want someone with experience.
He pulls his pants up and I wrap the sheet around me, feeling quite exposed.
“I know you think you love me and that we are meant to be together. But just now, you felt the awkwardness, didn't you? Sure, you’re hot, and I'd fuck you, but it would be weird for both of us, admit it. You were in love with the idea of being with me, but not me. I won’t do this. Like this. With you."
"You don't get to tell me how I feel. You said you love me. I love you enough for the both of us but that isn’t good enough for you, is it? Are you in love with my sister?"
"Does it matter? We both know she wants out of this life."
"You didn't answer my question. Are. You. In. Love. With. My sister? Answer me."
"Yes, satisfied?" I curl up into a ball, he doesn't want me, and he doesn't love me the way I wish for him to. My tears run down my face splashing onto the pillow. "Baby, I'm sorry, I can't help how I feel. You are beautiful, feisty as hell, and some day you’ll meet a man who will love all of those things that make you—you, but that man isn't ever going to be me." He rubs soothing circles along the bare skin of my back, as he used to do years ago when I would be miserable because my father let me down.
I sniffle and suck up my tears. I’ll never cry over him again. "It's okay, Rebel. I know you think of me as your sister. I won't lay a hand on you ever again, I promise." And I won't. Rebel doesn't want me and just maybe I don't desire him either.
**
; I awaken the next morning with my face being licked by Roscoe— Slim’s hound dog. Poor guy must be lost with his daddy gone. “Okay, okay I’ll feed you, give me a minute.”
Skillfully, I remove Rebel's arm from my waist. We have spent many nights drinking, smoking, fucking around and shooting the shit. Last night Rebel made it clear that we will never be, he probably won't recall any of it, but I'll know, he doesn't really love me. My back is stiff as I move to my feet. Roscoe is impatiently waiting by my feet to be fed. He follows me into the kitchen, and I fill his bowl. I put on some coffee and peek into the living room at Striker as he rests on the couch. He is sexy as sin to look at. What girl wouldn’t be crazy for his pierced lip and pretty boy features? His left arm is covered in a full sleeve and he has live to ride tattooed across his knuckles. His hair is black as coal and messy with that tousled just fucked look that reaches his chin. He wears glasses and I never thought glasses could be sexy, but on him, anything is hot.
Why don’t I go after Striker instead of Rebel? Striker isn’t ever going to be tied down with one woman. He likes his freedom too much—not that having a top bitch stops a man from sleeping with other women. Striker has been dating the same bitch for nearly two years and wets his dick anywhere he can when Aspen isn't around. That is another reason I wanted to belong to Rebel. I know that when he takes a top bitch, he will be faithful. He is good natured in that way. Last night I know Rebel would have slept with me, but it felt weird, nothing like I was expecting it to.
Sure, physically the attraction was there for both of us, but he was right emotionally it wasn't there in that way. I will always love him and a part of me will always wonder what may have been between us had Rumor not came into the picture. If Grim hadn't found her, Rebel would love me, he'd be mine.
Just Ride Black Rebel Riders' MC Volume 1 Page 22