Don't get me wrong I still don't want him with Rumor, she isn't the right girl for him. But I know I need to let Rebel figure it out on his own, I don't want to be the one that drives a wedge between us. As much as I would like to be with him, I know you can't force something that isn't there. I have seen it for my own eyes with Foxie and Grim. She pined away after him for years and yeah, he'd come in off the road and he'd fuck her, but he never could love her and offer her what she craved most of all—his heart. I don't want that sort of love. I want that ride or die love, can't eat, can't sleep, weak in the knees love. And if Rebel isn't going to give it to me, I'll find a man who will.
I want that ride or die love that my father had for my mother. The evidence is proven on his back. Her memory is inked into his skin and his heart forever. He did anything and everything all in her name all for the promise he made her. He was ready to die for her, to ride for, and he did—he rode thousands of miles for her, killing off a piece of him with every teardrop he earned. But nothing lasts forever...There was no happy ending for my mother, she found love and it killed her, my father found love and it ruined him. Love either grows or dies. If it grows, it expands beyond the depths of our reach, but if it dies, there is no getting it back.
Chapter 2
17 years old
Baby
"Hey, Baby. You got mail on the kitchen counter," Sunshine calls out to me cheerfully. I swear it should be against the law for a person to be so damned happy all of the time. Her, Grim, and Rumor are sitting at the table together having dinner, like a family. I grab a bottled water and take my mail from the countertop on my way to my room.
Grim calls out after me, "Baby, get your ass back in here and sit down for dinner. Need to talk to ye." Fuck, if I don't go in there it will be hell later.
Pulling out the chair furthest from Rumor, I take my seat. Sunshine automatically shoves a plate in front of me. I'm not in the mood to argue with her so I take my fork and begin eating her shitty spaghetti. Sunshine tries love her heart, but she can't cook for shit. But look at my father, he slops up her shit like a pig. Makes me sick watching it, but I know he loves her. I hope that one day a man loves me to the extent that he loves Sunshine. I used to wish my father would give me even an ounce of the attention and affection he shows Sunshine and Rumor. He has always treated me like the ghost of Gypsy Red. Why can't he see that I am not her? I’m not my mother. Sure, I look like her but I'm nothing like her from what I know of her. Which isn't much other than she was basically a mole. Maybe my father resents me because of her, but whatever the reason, I am tired of being made to pay for her sins.
"Sunshine and I are going to take our honeymoon in a week or so, I am telling you now that you better fucking walk the line while we are gone. LL and Romeo will be checking in on you girls daily." I know when he says you girls, he means me. His precious Rumor wouldn't dare step out of line. Baby's a troublemaker, Baby is a liar, Baby never listens—I can just hear him talking about me to Skull now. Skull, how I miss that old coot, he never comes around anymore. His health doesn’t permit it. Grim sent Betty to take care of him. He hates Betty, the history between her and my father runs way back to before my mother. He says she is a lying whore, and she doesn't deserve shit. Therefore, he figured her having to wipe Skull's ass and take care of him was a perfect place for her.
"Can't I just stay with Foxie?"
"Hell no, you will stay here with your sister end of discussion." He just wants me here because he doesn't want me around Striker and Rebel, like that would stop me from fucking them if I wanted to. I'd do it anyway, anytime, and anywhere if I really wanted to.
After dinner, I retreat to my room while Rumor plays kiss ass and does the dishes. Flipping through my mail, one envelope strikes me as peculiar. There is no return address and my name is written in a messy scrawl. It looks more like chicken scratch. Laying back on my plush pink pillows, I open the envelope to find a typed letter asking to meet me at an address that is a good hour drive away. There is no name or any clue of who sent it, just to be there tonight at midnight, alone. I am intrigued. Though I am not sure how I will get out tonight after Grim's curfew, unless he is needed elsewhere. I shoot a quick text to Trouble.
Baby-Need a favor and promise to make it worth your effort xx
Trouble- Anything for my favorite girl
Baby- I need to sneak out around 10:30, think you can get Grim out of the house. And I need your car.
Trouble- Consider it done, but you owe me.
Baby- Name your poison ;)
Trouble- I sure could use a case of apple pie shine.
Baby- I like the way you think. Next time I babysit, you can swing by.
I sit and wait for Grim to leave. When I can no longer hear his chopper in the distance, I climb out of my window, and make my way to the back of the garage where Trouble parks his car. His keys are waiting in his candy apple red 1977 Trans Am. Just like always Trouble has come through for me. He isn't the best-looking guy, but he is loyal. He is my best friend other than Rebel and Striker. He always comes through for me no matter what I demand of him. The idiots I attend school with, they don't get me, they think I am trash, because of who I am. That's how me and Trouble became so tight, he has always had my back at school, kept me from stabbing a few of them prissy ass bitches more than a time or two with my fork at lunch. As I said, I have Grim's temper. But Trouble is graduating this year, leaving me to the wolves next year.
My old man would shit a brick if he knew I was out this late on a school night and driving Trouble's fast as lightning car. Grim took my license from me as punishment last time I was late, which reminds me I need to get that back before he whisks Sunshine off on their romantic trip. I crank up the radio and put the pedal to the floorboard once I am out on the highway. I giggle as I listen to the song that is playing, 'She's only 17' is blaring out the speakers. Trouble loves 80's rock, and I don't know how he does it, but he seems to always have the perfect song playing when I get in his car. It's like he has mapped out the soundtrack of my life.
**
Pulling into a rundown, deserted gas station, I feel slightly afraid. What if it is an enemy of my father's waiting to ambush me? I should have brought Trouble with me, but no, I had to follow directions. Reaching under the seat, I find Trouble's insurance—a 9-millimeter pistol. Carefully, I tuck the gun safely in my small handbag before stepping out of the car. There is a dim light on inside the crumbling building. Here goes nothing.
I walk to the door and it pushes open with a slight creak to it.
"Damn, if you ain't pretty. Look here, boys, we got us a fresh one." A fat, older man with a gray beard is sitting on a stool playing one of those old-fashioned penny poker machines.
"Can it, Roy," a younger sounding guy, wearing a red bandanna hiding most of his face, except for his dark blue eyes, greets me with a wink. With a deep voice, he says, "You must be lost, sweetheart. You’re too damn pretty to be here looking for any of us. Did you make a wrong turn somewhere? Cause you see, we aren't the sort of men you come looking for unless you want to die or fuck? Which one do you fall under?" He laughs mocking me with his piercing blue eyes. As rude and crude as he is, I find myself wanting to run my fingers through his shaggy brown hair. If he could see the tats I am concealing under my hoodie, he would wipe that smug smile off of his ruggedly, charming mouth. He would clearly see that while I might like to fuck, if he touches me the Black Rebel Riders' MC would slit his throat. I have the club names initials tattooed on my collarbone in Chinese letters it reads, BRRMC.
He steps closer to me practically pinning me against the door I just walked through. My hand is resting on the gun in my purse, I will shoot this asshole if need be. If there is one thing Grim ever taught me it was how to shoot, he made damn sure his daughter knew how to defend herself. I smile sweetly making sure to show no fear of this arrogant bastard and his friends. Looking closely at his many tattoos, I now see why I am here, these dick licks are Devils Rejects. He has th
eir devil emblem on his neck. There is no mistaking him for anything other than a Devils Reject.
He pulls his bandanna down around his neck. "You got a man, sweet thang?" He licks my bottom lip, making liquid fire shoot through my belly and between my thighs. Sweet Jesus this man is doing things to my body. I take the opportunity to take my stance in case I have to shoot him.
"Sure do, I have a man takes real good care of all of my needs but tell ya what...if I ever feel the need to stray, I won't be calling you." The twinkle fades from his devilishly beautiful eyes. They are like blue pools of water, sucking me in, threatening to bring me under the surface, and drown me under their gaze.
"You got a mouth on ye. You know what I do to bitches that got a mouth on them?" His hands slide between us and he tugs on the zipper of his jeans. "I give them a mouthful." With his gesture I turn rigid, my jaw goes slack.
I probably should keep my mouth shut, but I can’t control my wicked tongue. "That little thing. Honey, I've seen rats with bigger dicks than you."
Forcefully he takes my chin in his hands. His rough, calloused skin sending shivers down my spine. Just as I am about to shoot the motherfucker, we are interrupted by the reason I was brought to this shithole.
"Lucky, you have about three seconds to get the fuck away from my guest before I end you." Lucky goes pale backing away from me with his hands up in surrender. The old man, I believe his name was Roy is laughing so hard he about gets choked on his own spit.
I step forward greeting a man who shares my sister's smile, it is odd and comforting all in one. I am not sure what to make of him. "Follow me." I obey, following him past where there used to be cooler of soda and water. The light is dim, making a buzzing sound. The smell in this building is musky, damp, making my stomach turn. We come to a stop at a small room. "Have a seat."
Looking at the dingy chair, I am almost afraid to take a seat. "I prefer to stand."
"Have it your way." This stranger, who doesn't feel like a stranger at all, has a seat behind an old metal desk. “Suppose you are trying to figure out who in the hell I am and why I brought you here." I nod urging him to get on with it. The longer I am here the more uneasy I grow. "Name is Rush. I was a good friend of your mother's. Been dying to meet you since I found out you were alive. You look just like Kara Marie. I moved away while she was pregnant with you. I've only been back about a month. Lived out California all these years, never even knew your mother was dead, until about eight years ago, figured you were dead too when I heard the news. Fuck, you sure are your mother's daughter. You can take your finger off the trigger, I would never hurt you, and you're family."
I don't know what makes me feel like I can trust him. Maybe it is his eyes being so soft and sincere, or maybe because he can tell me things about my mother that no one else can. Removing my hand from my purse, I relax slightly, and take a seat.
"So is it true, my mom—she was an old lady to Benji? She betrayed him and my dad?"
"Sorry, kid. Yeah, she did a lot of things she wasn't proud of but she did them for your sister." Of course, precious Rumor, I should have known.
"So why did you call on me and not my sister?" I know he didn't ask me here for a family reunion.
"I need your help. I have been closely watching you and your sister for a few weeks. I knew you were approachable and resourceful. Your old man is Prez, and I know you know things. Now don't go popping off on me, I just need to know how things stand."
"If you wish to know club business, I suggest you arrange a meeting with Grim or Romeo. All I see is my father is President and a mean ass son of a bitch, and if you’re smart you won't solicit me out here again." I am no one’s Patsy. I raise from my seat ready to get the hell out of here and he smiles sadly and escorts me to the door.
"I hope you won't mention this meeting to anyone, Baby. No one knows I am here I would like to keep it that way for now." He grabs my elbow and holds me prisoner in an intense stare, I feel as though he is staring straight into my soul and seeing every dirty secret I hold in my heart.
I smile and nod, I'll keep quiet, for now. Sliding back into the leather seat of Trouble’s car, I let out the breath I have been holding. Taking the gun from my purse, I tuck it back under my seat where I found it. There is a note with Lucky's number attached to it on the passenger seat. I wad it up and put it in my purse. The Rejects are not supposed to be in this area. I know it means danger and that I should tell Grim, but I feel conflicted about it all. He'll tan my hide for coming to a meeting alone with the Rejects. I am not supposed to be involved in any club business. One I am a girl and two I am just a kid in his eyes. I can handle myself, Rebel and Striker fought with me enough that I know how to fight if I have to. I am not as delicate as everyone seems to think I am.
Chapter 3
Rumor
I don't know why I let Baby get under my skin. I know she doesn't really mean all of those nasty things she says, even though her hurtful words are breaking off what pieces of me are left. I am afraid that one day I may disappear altogether and the only person who would dare to even care is a man that stands for everything I hate and respect all in one. Rebel Black was born to be a leader, to one day takeover The Black Rebel Riders' MC.
Hell, he even carries the name of the club.
I know Baby is madly in love with Rebel. I know that everything she says and does is because she wants nothing more than to be with him. I know she loves him, but he professes he loves me more.
Rebel is so intense. The feelings he claims he has for me shock me sometimes. Partly because I am afraid that he really means all the things he says, and partly because I am frightened to believe him, only to find he is a liar like all men, and only out for one thing. I love my sister, I really do, and I don't want to stand in the way of her happiness when, it’s dependent on a man I shouldn't want. However, another part of me is selfish—I crave his friendship, his affections, and his attention.
As hard as I try, I can't seem to stay away from him, let alone stop thinking about him, and the brief kiss we once shared. The taste of him against my lips haunts me all the way down to my toes. I know that loving Rebel Black will bring me nothing but heartache and yet I can’t stop thinking about him.
Rebel
“Shit! Baby, you know better than to sneak up on me like that.” She stands a mere inch from my switchblade. She presses the tip of her finger to the blade and pushes it to the side as a small amount of blood trickles from her slender digit.
“Sorry, Striker sent me. Are you sure you don’t want him to ride with you to the meeting?” The crazy bitchy places her finger to my mouth, "Kiss it."
For a moment, my mind flashes to Baby asking me to kiss her, and I almost fuck her. I'm not the one who puts a stop to it either it's her. I don't know if it's a dream or if it really happened.
I shake my head. Baby's fingertip rubbing my lips brings me back to the present.
“I said I’d go it alone.” She knows good and well Striker didn’t send her. Baby has been trying to earn a place by my side since she was fourteen. What she doesn’t realize is she will never be my top bitch. One day, one of my brothers might stake a claim on her, but not me. I don’t want the club's whore on my arm. Sure, I’ve fucked around with her —we all have. And hell, her daddy would skin us all alive if he knew. Don't get my words twisted. I love Baby, I'd fucking die for her, I just don't want to be with her the way she wants to be with me. There is only one woman, I would settle down with—Rumor. I fucked things up with her though, and she will never accept me. She wants to disappear from Drag Creek and leave everyone in this town behind.
Damn, I sure miss my old man, he has been gone nearly six months and every day that passes, I seem to grieve for him even more. He was like a father to many of the guys I ride with. If he were here, he would tell me to make a good woman out of Rumor—he would tell me to follow my heart.
My mom is always pushing Baby and me together. I know she wants me to be with her—to claim her as my old
lady. She has been determined to have Baby as her daughter one way or another. But I don't want to be my parents. Sure, Slim and Foxie loved each other, but out of obligation, not because they could not breathe without the other. I don't yearn for that type of love. When I think about Rumor, I know I'd ride a million miles just to watch her sleep. She makes this sweet peaceful face when she isn't having nightmares, it makes my cock twitch. I love knowing that I am the one that puts that look there, when she allows me in.
Striker pokes his head in the door of my room and takes Baby off my hands. I chuckle when he pinches her ass while biting on his lip ring as he says, “This dick ain’t gonna suck itself.” The expression on her face is priceless. Her fiery eyes are wide and bright. She looks scared that he could be thinking about it. You never know how to interpret my brother. You never know when he is dicking around or when he is being serious.
“Get the fuck outta here you two, I can’t be late.” I wish Striker would claim Baby. It would make life for all of us a hell of a lot simpler. However, that shit isn't going to happen. Striker says Baby is too young and wild. But I know he views her in a way I never have been able to. He doesn't realize it yet, but he cares for Baby a lot more than he knows. I see the way he glimpses at her when he thinks no one is paying attention, and the way he reacts when she pays me mind. He usually interrupts or does something to separate us. He puts on as if he is helping me out, but I think a part of him wishes she would look at him the way she gazes at me. Then there is Aspen—she has been my brother's girl for over a year or more and he still hasn't claimed her ass. I think it's because he is waiting for Baby to be of age, he just doesn't know it yet.
I down what is left of my beer and snatch my smokes off the table. I thrust my arms through the sleeves of my leather jacket and light up a Winston as I head downstairs. After my old man passed on, I moved into his room at the clubhouse. Striker took over the garage and he now lives overtop of it. Romeo wants me to eventually take over the still for him. I get the feeling he wants to pass his VP patch to me one day, which is heavy shit that I am not ready to tackle. I don't want to stand beside of Grim. The motherfucker killed my father. But what am I to do, this is my life and the legacy my father wanted to leave my brother and me. Finishing my cigarette before I climb on my hog, tying my wavy blond hair back so that it is not whipping my face later down the road, I get ready to head out on the road.
Just Ride Black Rebel Riders' MC Volume 1 Page 23