Home Is Wherever You Are

by Rose von Barnsley

  I looked up at her confused. I didn’t know what she was sorry for.

  “Dr. Turley and I have been discussing how you most likely felt abandoned, when I left to go after the girls.”

  I didn’t like this line of conversation. It was true. I had felt abandoned. I spent my days at work, worrying she wouldn’t be there when I got home.

  She pushed my seat back and climbed into my lap. “My mother didn’t keep the best company. More than once, I climbed out of my window and hid on the roof to get away from the men she would bring home.”

  She had never said anything about her life with her mother. I gripped her tightly, hoping she hadn’t been hurt.

  “I was lucky, Matthew. I was able to hide really well and squeeze into small places. My mom was too messed up to understand that those men she was bringing home were trying to hurt me. I want to believe she cared, but she wasn’t herself enough to care most of the time. I just couldn’t handle my little girls going through that. I couldn’t risk them not hiding well enough or having to endure the beatings when they were found by their mom.”

  She turned her face into my neck. “I’m having a difficult time believing that Mira is really clean, but I have to have faith that they’re keeping an eye on her and will take them away again if she isn’t.”

  I kissed her softly, squeezing her tightly. I hated that my girl had been through so much. I knew I didn’t even know the half of it. She kept it all bottled up inside. I just hoped Dr. Turley could help her through it.

  “Dr. Turley has suggested I get on an antidepressant. I need to see Dr. Stewart for a checkup, before she can prescribe me anything, though.”

  “Alright, I’ll make the call, baby.”

  Dr. Stewart was happy to see me, when I brought Addy in the next day. She had a problem with the doors sticking in the office, so I took care of that, while she ran the tests on Addy.

  She came out of the in-house lab with a file and smiled at me. “Matthew, why don’t you join me in the exam room with Addy?”

  I followed her back to the room, taking comfort in the fact that she was smiling. She wouldn’t smile if it was bad news, right?

  “Addy, I asked your husband in, because I have some news for you. One of the tests I ran was a pregnancy test,” Dr. Stewart was beaming. “It’s positive. I know you two were trying for a baby before.”

  “Wow,” I said stunned and looked at Addy. She started laughing and smiled at me.

  “Are you serious?” she asked Dr. Stewart.

  “Yes, it’s frowned upon in the medical community to joke about it,” she said with a shrug.

  “We’re pregnant?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

  “Yes, I ran a secondary test on the blood we drew, and it looks like she’s eleven weeks and five days.”

  I looked at Addy shocked and then down at her tummy. It was still flat, and her hand rested over it in awe. “We’re having a baby,” I said, finally understanding her need to finish off what I had left on my plate. I laughed a little at the realization of it all. “We’re having a baby!” I cheered, feeling giddy and hugged my girl.

  “In two days, you’ll be out of your first trimester. I’ll let Dr. Turley know that you’re pregnant. There are still medicines you can take, but I’ll leave it up to her to prescribe them. You also need to start taking prenatal vitamins to ensure you and the baby stay healthy. Make sure you get plenty of rest, but don’t be afraid of a little exercise, either. Just listen to your body and rest when it tells you to.”

  Dr. Stewart pulled out a packet of papers and forms for Addy to fill out. She ordered another blood draw and ran more tests. I wondered if there would be any blood left in my girl after that.

  “So, Matthew, I was thinking of adding a large screened porch onto my house. Do you think that’d cover the cost of delivering a baby?” Dr. Stewart asked.

  I smiled widely, shaking her hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal, one large screened porch in exchange for a baby.” Dr. Stewart laughed at me. That was one deal I was happy to make.

  When we got home, my mom was sitting with Adam, reading a book to him. Addy was smiling so widely, she looked downright giddy. I had to admit, I was sure I looked the same.

  My mother looked up at us and asked us what was going on.

  “Do you want to tell her, baby?” I asked.

  She leaned up and kissed me. “I think we should tell them together.”

  I pulled her into my arms, resting my hands over her tummy. I kissed her neck smiling, and she rested her hand over mine. “We have a new addition coming to join the family.”

  “Oh, did Ms. Jordan call you about another child?”

  “No, Dr. Stewart did,” I said with a smirk.

  “Dr. Stewart?” she asked confused. “I don’t understand.” I looked down at where my hands rested and then back up at my mom. I knew exactly when she got it, because her eyes popped wide, and she jumped off the couch, leaping over the coffee table into us. “A baby! You’re having a baby!” she squealed.

  We both nodded yes, while my mother went nuts, kissing our cheeks madly. “Oh, how exciting. I’m so happy for you! This is just what our family needed. Oh, sweetheart, I can’t wait! A baby!” she squealed and ran off toward my office to use the phone. She had already called a few ladies by the time I got settled, sitting next to Adam.

  He looked up at me nervously. “How do you feel about Ms. Addy having a baby?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “Does it mean I have to go?”

  I squeezed him tightly in my arms, kissing the top of his head. “No, little buddy. You’re not leaving, but you’re going to be a big brother. Do you think you can handle that? It’s a lot of responsibility.”

  He nodded his head yes. “I’s can do it, I ‘sponsible,” he said very seriously.

  “I know, buddy, you’re going to be a great big brother.”

  I kissed his head and picked up the book my mother had left behind, when she had exploded in excitement. I had started reading it to him, when Daniel suddenly came bursting in.

  “What’s this I hear about a baby?” he shouted.

  Addy came walking out of the kitchen, trying not to smile. “Who told you? I was just getting ready to walk over to your house and tell you the news,” she said, holding a plate of cookies.

  He looked at her and then to my office, where my mother was still chatting up the whole town. “So it’s true, I mean…” he asked carefully, not saying it. He knew how hard it had been on Addy when we were trying.

  “Yes, Dad, I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby.”

  “HOT DAMN!” he shouted, slapping his leg and yanked her into a hug. “Oh, honey, I’m so happy for you. If you need anything, you call me. I mean it.”

  He turned to me and smiled widely. “Matthew, I never thought I’d ever say this in regards to my baby girl, but nice shooting.”

  I laughed. “Thanks, Daniel.”

  Hopefully now, things would start looking up.

  Chapter 35 - Good Things

  Addy was five months pregnant now. She looked so beautiful. Her little tummy was just peeking out at us, and we were going to have the ultrasound today. Ms. Jordan would be meeting us for lunch as well. We were making it official. Adam was staying with us for good.

  My mom was keeping Adam for us today. I couldn’t wait to see our baby. I had just finished the screened porch for Dr. Stewart, and she loved it.

  Addy’s knee bounced nervously, as she squeezed my hand. “Are you okay, baby?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I guess I’m anxious to see if the baby is okay. It’s all kind of surreal. I’m afraid to believe it, you know?”

  “Yeah, I think we’ll both breathe a sigh of relief, once we can see the little one kicking around.”

  “Adeline Martin,” the nurse called, and Addy and I got up and made our way to the exam room. It was dimly lit, and a lady we hadn’t met sat down in front of the ultrasound machine.

  “Just lay back, pull your shirt up and undo
your pants,” the tech said, and my girl complied. The tech tucked paper towels around Addy’s clothes and then warned her the gel would be a little cool. Apparently, her warmer was broken.

  Once the little wand hit Addy’s tummy, we heard a soft whooshing sound fill the room. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat. I’m sure Dr. Stewart has let you listen to it before.”

  “Yes,” Addy said softly, “but it’s always nice to hear it.”

  The tech went about her business, clicking on several things and typing away. Finally, after a while, I just had to ask, “Is everything looking okay? Is the baby healthy?”

  The tech turned and smiled at me. “I’m not the doctor, but from what I can see, there doesn’t seem to be any problems. Your baby looks healthy.”

  Addy let out a relieved sigh, and I leaned over and kissed her.

  “So, would you like to know the sex?” she asked.

  I nodded yes excitedly, and Addy giggled. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Well, see this here?” she ran the wand over the image, turning the screen toward us. “This is your little boy’s manhood.”

  “Yes!” I shouted, jumping up, causing Addy to laugh.

  “What if it was a girl?” Addy asked teasingly.

  “I’m pretty sure I would’ve had the same reaction. I’m just excited that we’re having a baby,” I said chuckling.

  The tech showed us our little man’s face and body. He wiggled and kicked the wand, getting annoyed with it, causing us all to laugh.

  She clicked a few pictures, printing them out for us to share. She handed them to my excited wife, before she cleaned her off and left the room. Dr. Stewart came in a few minutes later, grinning widely.

  “Well, everything looks good, Addy. You’ve stayed really small so far, but be prepared for that to change quickly. Your little man in there is growing great, and you’ll definitely be showing it soon. Make sure to rest well, and if there’s anything you want to do that requires any extended effort, I’d recommend doing it sooner rather than later. You’ll get tired out faster the further along you get,” she said, as she finished her exam.

  That reminded me that our fourth anniversary was coming up. Addy had given me so much and had been through so much that I had decided to plan something special for her. We didn’t have much money, but a trip to nearby Houston for a weekend of fun and romance would be something I could probably swing.

  We met Ms. Jordan at the courthouse just before lunch, and she led us straight into a judge’s office.

  “Welcome. I see here we have adoption papers to sign,” he said smiling.

  We nodded excitedly. Addy had gotten really close with little Adam over the past few months. Once he found out she was pregnant, he took his role of big brother very seriously, and showed us just how intelligent he really was.

  He was doing his best to make things easier for Addy. He cleared the table without being asked, and he would carefully pick up his toys, so she wouldn’t trip on them. He tried taking out the trash for her a few times, but it was a real struggle for the little guy, since he was still so tiny. I made a point to help him out and bought a couple of smaller trash cans he could help with. He wouldn’t let her pick anything up off the floor and would draw pictures to hang in the room for the baby. Adam was impossible not to love.

  It was difficult to take the little girl stuff out of his room, but we did finally break down and buy Adam some bedding that was meant for a boy. The fact that he saw one with tools on it and got excited didn’t hurt any, either. I bought the matching curtains as well, and when we found out we were having a boy, I made plans to go get the matching crib set.

  “It looks like everything is in order here,” the judge said and gave his little spiel on the importance of putting our kids first. We agreed, and finally we all signed the papers. It was official. Adam was our son and was now Adam Michael Martin.

  “We’ll have to celebrate tonight, maybe take him somewhere special,” I said, as we sat with Ms. Jordan at lunch. Addy nodded in agreement, because her mouth was too full so speak.

  Ms. Jordan reached over and squeezed Addy’s hand. “I’m so happy things are working out for you two.”

  Addy had been doing really well in her therapy sessions with Dr. Turley. She knew it had been out of Ms. Jordan’s hands, when she had taken the girls. It had been court ordered, and so we had tried to let it go. She hadn’t asked us to take any more children other than Adam, knowing we still were trying to recover from the loss. Honestly, I was happy with just our two boys.

  When we got home, I set the papers in front of Adam, and he looked at us confused. “You’re officially Adam Michael Martin, Son,” I said, pulling him over onto my lap. “We thought it was important that you became a Martin before your brother got here. We didn’t want any confusion on who the big brother was,” I teased.

  He looked at the papers and then back at Addy and I. “You’re keeping me?” he asked timidly.

  Addy nodded yes.

  “Really, for good? You’re not sending me away?”

  “Nope, never, you’re official our son and the first Martin brother.”

  “Really?” he asked in awe.

  “Yup, so when you start school, you’ll be Adam Martin, coolest pre-kindergartener in the world,” I said, tickling him wildly. He wiggled and kicked, trying to get free. He squealed in delight, when I told him we were going to the pizza place for dinner to celebrate. He did his own version of a celebration dance, and I joined in. I would forever be thankful that Adam had come into our lives.

  My mother had continued seeing Leon, and now they were officially dating. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, until one night, I heard my mother laughing. “You should’ve seen his face, Leon. I wish you and Evette had been there. Matt was always the joker, so he was just stunned speechless, when I turned the tables on him.”

  I slipped out of hearing range, giving them privacy. My mother still loved my father best, and she understood that Leon felt the same about Evette. I was surprised when she came home sporting an engagement ring with a nervous Leon standing behind her.

  I was staring at it stunned, as my wife hugged them both, and Adam danced around them, asking if that would make Leon his grandpa. Leon picked him up, hugged him and told him yes, and he was looking forward to it.

  “Matthew?” my mother asked in a worried voice. I finally looked up to her face. “Matthew, please, say something,” my mother begged.

  “Are you happy?” I asked.

  She smiled at Leon and nodded. “Yes, I am, and let’s face it, it’s time I gave Addy back her house.”

  I looked at the women in my life confused. I had never heard of any contention between them, but from the looks they gave each other, it looked like there might have been some at some point.

  “Have you picked a date?” Addy asked, changing the subject.

  “Yes, since this is our second marriage, we were just going to do it at the courthouse. Keep it small and simple and maybe have a little luncheon in the backyard with the family.”

  “That’s the plan, but we haven’t told Kelly, though. I’m not sure how she’ll react. If it’s positive, I think we’ll have a hard time keeping her from inviting the whole town and hiring a wedding planner.”

  “You should do a sneak attack,” Adam said, jumping out from next to the couch. “Just surprise her and get married all at the same time.”

  “Actually, Adam, that’s a very good idea,” Leon said, with a mischievous smile.

  Two weeks later we were standing on the courthouse steps. Kelly came rushing forward, with Jason on her tail. “What’s this about? Did they tell you?” she asked.

  “They’re getting married,” Addy said straight out. She was always good at getting to the point.

  “Married? Wait, right now? Today? But we didn’t plan anything! Is there even flowers and a cake? How can they do this?” she panicked and ran inside.

  My mom was able to settle Kelly down, promising her that there was
indeed a cake, and the florist was on her way just now. Moments later, a portly lady came in with a few bouquets, handing the largest to my mother and the two smaller ones to my wife and soon-to-be stepsister. The women pinned boutonnieres on all of us men and even little Adam, who was given a pillow with the rings tied to it.

  We all stood in the judge’s office. The men stood by Leon and the girls by my mom, and little Adam stood in the middle holding the rings. The ceremony was short, and the judge took pictures of us all together, and we took one of him with my mom and Leon. All in all, it was simple and sweet, just like they had wanted.

  We went back to Leon’s house and had lunch, and cake. Afterwards, Jason and Leon helped me move my mother’s things to Leon’s home. I was nervous about going into her room and seeing my father’s things, but my mother seemed at ease around them, as she packed them up to take with her.

  When I unloaded the last box at their home, I noticed there were pictures of Evette everywhere. There were touches of her all over the place. I walked down the hall, where I was putting the boxes to be unpacked, when I found my mother and Leon going through a box. “We can put them up along the mantel, and there’s space on the far wall. I’m okay with rearranging some of mine to make room for yours,” Leon said tenderly.

  My mother looked up at Leon with tears in her eyes, and that was when I noticed the box she had been looking in was full of pictures. “Thank you, dear.”

  He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “I just want you to be happy.”

  I knew then that Leon would take care of my mom, and that neither would forget the loves of their lives, but they would be happy with the love they had in each other as well.

  Chapter 36 - Wish I Had Done Things Differently

  Some scenes of your life you replayed over and over, making you wonder if there could have been a different outcome. Those scenes haunted us and kept us from looking forward. I was stuck in one of those loops now, wondering what I could have done differently.

  I ended up just praying to god to please save my wife and child, as I tried to keep it together, until I heard back from the doctor. I looked down at my bandaged arm and wondered, if I had leaned a little more to the left, maybe the bullet would have gone into my into my bone, stopping it from hitting my wife.