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by Melody Anne

  “Good evening, Ms. Harlow. How are you tonight?”

  “I’m very well, Mario. I’m sorry to have you dragged out on such a cold evening. ”

  “It’s never an inconvenience to pick up such a lovely woman,” he answered with a smile as he held the door open. “It’s nice and warm inside. ”

  “Thank you, Mario,” Ari said after he climbed into the driver’s seat. The two of them chatted for a few moments, and then Ari turned to look out the window and collect her thoughts.

  The closer they came to Rafe’s home, the more nervous she became. Could she do this — lay her heart on the line? There was a good chance he’d reject her love, not because he didn’t want it, but because he was too stubborn to accept it.

  Then again, maybe all the emotions were simply in her head. Maybe he didn’t really care about her the way she thought he did. What if she were just wrong about it all?

  After they’d pulled through his security gate and Mario came around the car to open her door, Ari nearly asked him to drive her back home. She wondered if he would do that — it was almost worth asking just to see his face.

  But no. Ari accepted his hand as he assisted her from the car.

  “Have a wonderful evening, Ms. Harlow. I’ll be waiting if you need me. ”

  His words engendered more nerves than relief. Mario knew more than anyone that Rafe didn’t spend the night with his mistresses. Mario had been the one to take her home in the middle of the night once when Rafe was through with her.

  The ugly thought had her again wondering what she was doing. How many times did she have to be a fool before it sank in that he was incapable of love?

  As she stepped through his doorway, noting the dim lights on throughout the house, she drew her shoulders up. If it was a fool she had to be to either gain love or set herself free, then a fool she’d be.

  There was no sign of Rafe downstairs, so she made her way up his wide staircase, her heart racing. Why wasn’t he there to greet her? She was too agitated to feel the full force of his rudeness, but a glimmer of his neglect penetrated her brain.

  Having been to Rafe’s home only twice, she was a little unsure of the way, but there was a single door open on the floor, with a soft light shining from within. She slowly made her way toward it.

  Peeking in the doorway, Ari discovered Rafe sitting in a chair by the window. Unwilling to hurry, she took a moment to look around; yes, it was his bedroom. He seemed so solemn as he gazed out at the stars that she wasn’t sure whether she should say anything. But he’d been the one to call her over, so he must know she was coming.

  “Rafe?”

  His shoulders stiffened at the sound of her voice — not a good sign. A couple of seconds passed before he stood and turned to face her. The blank look on his face showed her nothing of what he was thinking. Her nerves jumped another level as he stepped toward her. It felt as if her knees weren’t going to hold her up any longer, so without being asked, Ari walked over to his large bed and sat on the edge.

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  He stilled as if uncertain what to do about her sitting there. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t spent many hours in various beds with him. Was he really so opposed to her sitting on his?

  “I’m sorry, Ari. I meant to meet you downstairs. The time got away from me,” he said in an expressionless voice that sent a shiver of apprehension down her spine.

  “That tends to happen to me at times, too” she tried to joke, but in the ominous atmosphere her attempt fell flat.

  “Thank you for meeting me here. We need to finish our talk from the other night. ”

  “Yes, Rafe, we do. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking —”

  Rafe interrupted her before she could say what she needed to. “I don’t want to drag this out, Ari. Our time is up. I’ll have you reinstated at your old job with no questions asked. I agree with you that it would just be too awkward to have you working right in the Palazzo building here. As for your home, it’s yours. You have no need to move. Monday morning I will have my attorney start the paperwork to transfer the title. Also, I already have a bank account set up for you with a substantial fund that should take care of you for many years to come. ”

  Ari sat there as she received blow after blow from his words. She didn’t care about any of this. She wanted neither his money nor his condo. She’d made it just fine her entire life without him, and she would make it again after he was gone.

  What she wanted to do right now was make a dignified exit from the room. She stood up and nearly did just that. Wasn’t it more than obvious that he wanted her purged from his life?

  No. She’d come there to say something, and she’d always regret it if she didn’t get the chance. He might be saying goodbye to her, but if this was her last night seeing Rafe, then she needed him to know how she felt.

  “Rafe, I love you. I know you warned me not to care. I know I broke the rules, but I can’t help it that my heart has opened to you. I can’t contain what I’m feeling. I understand that you’re telling me goodbye, but I have to say this. I have to let you know that somewhere in the middle of all this madness, I fell for you. I don’t want to let you go, not today, tomorrow or ever. I want you to let me love you. ”

  Never had Ari said that to a man before. Never had she opened herself up so far. He could rip her in half right now, and there would be nothing she could do to stop it. She had never imagined how frightening it would feel to be so vulnerable.

  Rafe stood before her, not showing a hint of what he was feeling. As he quietly gazed at her, Ari’s heart stopped. She didn’t know whether his silence was a good or bad thing. Would he accept what she was offering him?

  Finally, his lips turned up in the smallest hint of a smile, and hope surged through her. He didn’t seem angry — that was a positive sign. If he truly gave them a chance, she knew they could be happy together.

  When he remained silent, a shimmer of fear tried crawling in, but she suppressed it. He was just surprised, that was all. He’d been trying to tell her goodbye, and she was telling him she loved him. That would give anybody human pause, wouldn’t it?

  “Ari…”

  Without realizing she was even doing so, Ari felt her body stiffen. She’d laid it all out there and she could hear the sound of rejection in his tone. With one word, she knew it was over. How could she have been so wrong?

  “You don’t need to say it, Rafe. You told me from the beginning that this would never be more than an affair. I was the one who broke the rules. I apologize for that. ” Ari was relieved when her voice came out sounding just about as cold as his did.

  “Do not presume to know my thoughts, Ari. I can speak for myself,” he snapped, real emotion appearing in his tone for the slightest moment before he once again made his expression blank. He took a step toward her.

  “I’m going to leave now. ” Ari turned as his hand reached for her. She looked at his grasping fingers, then up into his chilling eyes.

  “It doesn’t need to be this way. I’ve planned on ending this, but I’ve been satisfied with you as my mistress. We can forget all about this emotional dilemma and go back to the way things have been. ”

  Again, his voice sounded almost dead, as if he didn’t care what happened, or what she did.

  “Is it so much easier for you to keep screwing the girl you’re familiar with than to go through your application process all over again? Contrary to what you may think of me, Rafe. I’m not a whore, and I’m no longer for sale. Take what you want from me and my mother — I just don’t care about any of it. ”

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  Ari was done with his game. She was done with his brutal ambivalence toward her, the way he blew hot or cold but nothing in between. She’d fallen in love with him, though she didn’t see how, and now she was standing before him completely disillusioned.

  “Would you like to see something, Rafe? Look at what I
wore for you. ” She tore off her coat and revealed the nightgown beneath, the lacy fabric skimming her curves, hinting boldly at her womanly treasures. The only treasures from her that he’d seemed to value throughout their months of intimacy. “Look at it. I paid a fortune for this frivolous confection of lace. And why? To speak to you in the only way you seem to appreciate. Sex… And submission. ”

  “Ari, please…”

  “No, Rafe. I am finally able to tell you my feelings, and they’re not the ones I would have thought. Here they are. What I did disgusts me. And you disgust me. We are both better than our actions suggest, but I’m not sure I can forgive you, or myself. Still, I will walk away with my head held high because I loved you honestly, and because I am leaving you honestly. I am leaving you so I can do what I should have been doing all along. I refuse to submit to you or to any man who does not submit to me. Openly, honestly, and lovingly. ”

  Ari picked up her long coat and shrouded herself in it. Rafe still sat there unmoving, silent and grim. She knew somewhere inside, she was hurting, but she pushed that away. Too many women allowed a man to upend their lives — abuse them — neglect them — treat them as if they were beneath them. That was over for her.

  When Ari resumed speaking, her tone had changed from defiant to sad. “And you, Mr. Palazzo? As long as you continue to blame all women for the wounds inflicted by one, you’ll never be the man you should be. You’ll never truly live your life. And I pity you. ”

  “Ari. I’ll say it again. It doesn’t need to be this way. ”

  “Yes it does, Rafe. Goodbye. ”

  This time when she pulled her arm, he released her, and Ari walked from his room with as much dignity as she could muster. She knew that pain would eventually set in, but for now she felt an odd sense of numbness protecting her shattered heart.

  She was free to go. To her greatest surprise, she realized that she didn’t want that freedom she’d so coveted more than three months ago. She wanted him to be somebody that he wasn’t. She wanted the man who had danced on a quiet balcony with her, laughed at a stupid joke, and made her stretch her wings and fly. He was in there…somewhere, but she now realized she couldn’t reach him. Holding her head high, she walked through the door and straight down the steps, making her way outside, where she found the car still waiting.

  Rafe must have told Mario not to leave. He’d known she wouldn’t be there long.

  “Ms. Harlow, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon,” Mario said with surprise as he came jogging out from a side door. “I was just getting ready to park the car for the evening. ”

  “Please take me home,” she said in a firm voice. She didn’t wait for him to open the door, but gripped the handle and flung it open.

  “But, Ms. Harlow —”

  “Please, Mario. I want to leave now. You can either drive me, or I’m walking. ” She didn’t care how she left, but she was getting the hell out of there.

  “Yes, Ms. Harlow,” he said before shutting her door and going around to the driver’s side. He started the engine and the car rolled forward. Ari thought she heard her name, but ignored it. It was time to pick up the pieces of her life and move on.

  She didn’t notice Rafe running down the stairs after them. Soon, she was pulling farther away from him…too far for him to catch her.

  Epilogue

  Six months later

  “I thought I’d find you here. ”

  Rafe slowly turned around and gave Shane a semblance of a smile. Of course he was at Ari’s graduation. She hadn’t spoken to him in six months, but he couldn’t get her from his mind. This was a momentous occasion for her, and he had to be there.

  “Why are you here, Shane?”

  “Because I knew your stubborn, opinionated, stealthy sister would be here and unable to run from me. ”

  “She’s still refusing to talk to you? I find that amusing,” Rafe said, smiling for the first time in months.

  “You know I got called back to South America. She’s refused my calls, and for the past week since I’ve been home, she’s managed to avoid me at every turn. I know how close she’s become with Ari, so I’ve finally cornered her. It was either this or wait until next year, when I have her trapped on a private island during the Gli Amanti Cove groundbreaking. I’m not that patient. ”

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  “Good luck. ”

  “Has Ari spoken to you?”

  “Not a word. After the first month, I decided to give her some time. She refused her old job, moved from the condo, and went back to school. I may have to admit I was wrong about her. She hasn’t even touched a dime of the severance money I set up for her, though she’s a fool not to. ”

  “Why? She seems to be doing just fine on her own. ”

  “She’s been working at a small café for the past six months. It’s ridiculous! A woman like her, with her talents, her intelligence, her beauty…”

  “And her integrity? Not everyone is as greedy as your ex-wife, Rafe. Haven’t you figured that out by now?”

  “I’m beginning to see that. It may just not be enough. ”

  “I know the feeling. Man, you do not want to defy Lia. That girl holds a grudge. ”

  Rafe laughed at the desperate look on his best friend’s face. Rafe knew more than anyone how stubborn both of his sisters could be.

  The two men sat in the back row as Ari walked to the podium and accepted her diploma. Rafe could hear her mother’s cheers all the way from the front row. His sisters were just a decibel level quieter than Sandra.

  As Ari turned toward her cheering section, she graced them with one of her award-winning smiles and Rafe’s gut clenched.

  He missed her — far more than he could have ever imagined missing someone.

  As he watched the diplomas being bestowed, he sat in a comfortable silence with Shane. Once the ceremony was over, he tracked Ari with his eyes, making sure not to lose sight of her. Finally, when she was alone, he made his approach.

  “Congratulations, Ari. ” The stiffening of her shoulders was his only clue that she’d heard him above the many voices surrounding them. Slowly, she turned, for one brief instant with a slight smile upon her lips before it melted away.

  “What are you doing here, Rafe?”

  “I had to see your big moment. I’m proud of you. ” Silence greeted his words as the two of them stood there awkwardly. Rafe couldn’t remember ever feeling so like an intruder.

  “Thank you. I have people waiting,” she said as she tried to brush him off. Rafe reached out and grasped her arm, refusing to let her leave until she heard him out.

  “I need just five minutes,” he said as he began steering her through the crowd. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight him, and soon he found an empty hallway for the two of them to talk.

  “Say what you need to, Rafe. But please get it over with. ” The new coldness in her eyes shook him more than he cared to admit.

  “I’ve made mistakes, Ari. I know that now. I shouldn’t have judged you on mistakes from my past. I miss you, and would like for us to give a real relationship a try. ” After several moments, Ari’s lips turned up and Rafe felt relief fill him. This had been easier than he’d thought it would be.

  “No, Rafe. You are in no way ready to be in a committed relationship. The way you treated me was abhorrent, and even worse was that I fell in love with you anyway. You’re completely lacking in self-awareness, think you always have to be in charge, and deem women as the weaker sex. What I’ve discovered about myself in the last six months is that I’m a good person. I don’t need to hide behind fake glasses or baggy clothes the way I did before I first met you. I don’t need to cower in the corner afraid of someone judging me. I’m strong and intelligent, and I won’t ever let myself be mistreated again. I know there’s a good man beneath your hard exterior, but you need to find him. If you ever do, call me — I might even answer. ”

  Wi
th that, Ari turned and started to walk away from him. Rafe stood there not knowing what to do. Should he once again chase after her? Should he let her go? Was their time over? For someone who always had the answers, he simply didn’t have any.

  “Ari,” he called out without having any idea what he was going to say. She stopped and turned, looking at him with pity, which instantly had his anger rising to the surface. He was not a man to be pitied – not ever!

  “Goodbye, Rafe. ” With that she turned and started walking away again.

  “There are no goodbyes, Ari. We will see each other again. ” Her shoulders stiffened, but eventually the crowd swallowed her up as her feet carried her away, and like that she was gone from his life.

  Walking away from the courtyard with the sounds of happiness filling the air, Rafe was at a loss. Picking up his phone, he dialed his assistant, Mario.

  “Have the jet fueled and ready. I’m going home. ” Rafe moved with purpose to his car. It was time to go back home to Italy, back to his home and maybe even back to the heart he had somehow lost along the way.

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