“I never thought you dead, son. You were far too smart for that.”
“You only have two sons, President. And I am not one of them.” Gunther made to leave.
“Wait,” I said. “How do we find Spectrum?”
“You don’t,” the president answered. “Even I don’t. They find you.”
On that inauspicious note, we all got up to leave. Gunther was in the lead, so he couldn’t see me when I turned around.
“Gunther might be willing to wash his hands of you, to declare your debt repaid, so allow me to inform you of something,” I said. “Your debt to that man will never be repaid. Nothing you do will make up for what you’ve already done, and you will go to your grave with the knowledge that you failed as a parent and as a human being.”
Addie sent me a look of grudging respect over her shoulder, and we filed out of the room.
Gunther worked harder than anyone on the boat repairs. He didn’t talk or invite conversation, instead forging on with a dogged determination to get out of that port. Xav and I mostly did manual hauling, while Addie took it upon herself to bring the workers water and run small items back and forth.
She offered to refill Xav’s skein at my left then offered the same for the person working on my right. I raised my eyebrow at her, and she heaved a great sigh before holding her hand out for my canteen. She returned a moment later, a small sheen of sweat on her brow, and I let my fingers graze hers before taking my water. She swallowed and snatched her hand away, practically throwing my canteen at me.
I smiled. “Jeez, Addie. Do I have to worry about that dagger, too?” I joked.
That had been the wrong thing to say. Addie’s face went cold, expressionless. I knew by now that meant she was hiding too many emotions, not too few. I had meant to compliment her on her handling of the situation earlier, but instead, I had clearly dredged up something she didn’t want to think about. She recovered more quickly than I expected her to, though.
“Don’t tempt me,” she responded dryly.
We finished the repairs before sundown, with time to spare. The soldiers watched us leave. If the man who had been Gunther’s father or his sons were on the wall as well, they didn’t announce themselves. We left with much less fanfare than had accompanied our arrival.
Addie relayed the president’s message about the Court to the captain. We were heading for the Ever Falls as quickly as the ship could take us, but our arrival was still around two days out because of our detour in the wrong direction. We passed a number of ships, both the regular and the flying variety, but we crossed nothing threatening. The Court couldn’t be close enough to catch up on the open sea after we damaged their ship, so we decided to relax until we got there.
Apparently, the captain had the same idea. After a few sideways glances at our downtrodden group, she cleared her throat pointedly. “We have not yet gotten to celebrate the return of our princess,” Captain SuEllen said after gathering her crew on deck. “I’ve got brand new barrels of Greaser just begging to be opened, and the girls haven’t gotten out their instruments in some time.”
The crew took up a raucous, infectious cheer, though I had no idea what Greaser was. I exchanged looks with Gunther and Xav, and they both shrugged. Gunther’s face was still drawn, but there was curiosity there, too. Back on Central Island, listening to his favorite songs obnoxiously loud had been one of his favorite things to do. My brother had been without his music for too long. This would be a good thing.
Greaser, as it turns out, was a lot like whiskey, only spicier. And maybe even better. I watched as Addie threw her arms around Gunther, pulling him into a semblance of the dance the girls were doing. After a few dances, they were both laughing. I loved seeing the darkness fade from their eyes, whether the Greaser or the dancing was responsible.
The music was captivating, a combination of stringed instruments and flutes creating upbeat, folksy dancing tunes. Even the weather, which was light and breezy, cooperated for once. I politely accepted a few dances myself, being sure to keep the women at an appropriate distance. Addie danced with every man on the boat who wasn’t me, and even some of the women. Her short hair swung back and forth, and she wore a variation of the outfit she had on yesterday, only this one was closer to the brown shade of my own leather jacket.
Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. At the risk of getting slapped, I would not end this evening without asking for at least one dance from her.
The Princess
It hadn’t taken Nell long to understand the basic system of Central Island. One thing had made itself abundantly clear. Here, money was power, and power was access. Her bracelet came in handy in that respect. She waited until nightfall to collect money from vaults around the city, just enough that it wouldn’t be noticed missing. She set up accounts by correspondence and got her first flat in the same fashion.
She could have used her accounts to fund a scholarship to the most prestigious school on the island, but she didn’t want questions from the other pupils. Besides, once she got a good look at the kind of man the headmaster was, bribing her way in was infinitely more fun.
Her mother had kept tabs on this part of the world, which meant there was some access, some communication with Levelia. Maybe she had nothing to go back to, but she needed to at least explore her options. For that, she would need access in both the elite circles and the black market. So, she waited, and she listened, while she set up accounts and residences and contingency plans.
Some parts of her schooling were easy, though she had to work to hide her disdain at their primitive knowledge of science and their ridiculous notions of gender roles. For all that she had once wanted to see this part of the world, it had done little to impress her thus far. The other students were cold and distant, which suited Nell just fine.
The spectrum ranged from the outright cruelty of girls like Sophie Benedict to the casual indifference of Adelaide Kensington. Her sister, Amelie, had offered a few kind smiles, but she was in a different class. At twelve years old, Nell was already getting looks from the boys, but none had been bold enough yet to approach her. She wasn’t concerned, though. She didn’t need their friendship yet.
She worked on her bracelet and avoided friends who asked questions. When the loneliness pressed in at night, she pretended it wasn’t there. When thoughts of her family or life or the word ‘princess’ crept into her head, she pushed them out. Nell wore her masks so well, she began to wonder if there was anything at all left on the inside.
Until the day when everything changed.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
ADELAIDE
I could get used to this Greaser. After only a few small cups, the stars seemed to shine brighter, and the black cloud that had been following me since The Arbiter dissipated. The music stopped abruptly when the moon was high in the sky. I spun around to find out why. Or tried to, and nearly face-planted onto the deck. Clark’s solid arms caught me. I looked up to glare at him, but his sea blue gaze was more intense than I had been prepared for.
I wondered how I had tricked myself into thinking he was a diversion when the truth was he was all I could see most of the time. I stopped breathing for a moment, his body too close to mine and all the sensations he brought far too real.
Wasn’t I thinking something before this? Right. Anger.
“Stop doing that,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“Being there when I’m falling. I hate it.”
He laughed, and the sound warmed every part of me.
“I know you do.” Instead of letting me go, he pulled me in closer.
I pushed weakly at his side, but I couldn’t bring myself to put any more effort into it. The captain was speaking from the upper deck.
Is that why the music stopped? I wanted to hear what she was saying, but I was distracted by the sound of Clark’s heartbeat through the chest I was suddenly very, very close to. I hated him for having any effect on me at all. And I hated that I didn’t really
hate him in the slightest.
At least I wasn’t alone in my distraction. I didn’t see Locke anywhere. Xav was busy in the corner with SeRavi, and Gunther was examining one of the instruments.
“So, it’s ceremonial, but I have to ask. Do we have any who wish to drink?” SuEllen announced.
“Addie, you’re always game for anything. Come on,” Nell said.
“What?”
Nell nodded toward the captain. “Go take a shot of the captain’s drink.”
Sure enough, SuEllen was holding two red, glowing drinks. I wasn’t entirely confident of my ability to get up those stairs and back, but this was the best I’d felt in weeks. I wanted my black cloud to stay gone.
“I will,” I yelled a little too loudly.
“With whom?” asked SuEllen, confused.
I looked around for Nell, but she was walking back to the crowd.
I can’t believe she chickened out on me.
I looked to my other side, and there was Clark. I raised a challenging eyebrow, and he shrugged one shoulder with an incredibly sexy grin.
“With me,” Clark announced, not taking his eyes off me.
It occurred to me he had been indulging in the Greaser as well. His eyes were less guarded than usual, and something about the look in them made my breath come more quickly. For a moment, it felt like we were the only two people on the deck.
I looked away. I was only glad he was taking the drink, so he could suffer in the morning as well. Obviously.
I plodded up the stairs, not stumbling, but not entirely sure on my feet. Clark was behind me, his step a little heavier than usual, but also not unsteady.
The captain squinted at us. “Are you certain?”
I looked at Clark.
“Sure,” he said.
“Why not?” I added.
“All right. Far be it from me to deter you.” She handed us each a glowing cup. The captain looked out at the crowd and spoke in a voice that carried, calling out a few words in a language I didn’t know. The crew repeated them, raising their cups each time but not drinking. Clark and I did our best, giving each other a rare smile as we tried to replicate the musical language.
On the third word, everyone drank. Clark and I followed suit, downing our red drinks in one swig, and cheers went up amongst the crew. They were almost as excited about Clark and me drinking as they were this celebration to begin with. I started to worry what effects the drink might have if the normally even-keeled women were beaming to the point of laughter about it, but I shook it off. I felt fine so far, almost clearer-headed.
The music started back up.
“Dance with me?” Clark asked against my ear.
I opened my mouth to refuse. “One dance.” Stupid mouth.
He smiled, and I couldn’t honestly regret my words. I let him pull me in closer than I should have. I knew this would only end one way for me. For all the effort I had put into guarding my heart, this was unconscionably foolish. But the night was getting cooler, and Clark was so warm. Maybe I could coerce a few more drinks into him and he wouldn’t even remember the way I molded myself against him for this dance.
Another cheer went up at the end of the song. I broke apart from Clark and joined in. It had been a particularly beautiful piece of music. Either that, or my judgment of it was clouded by the circumstances. Either way, it warranted applause. I used the excuse to turn away from Clark, guarding my face.
“Don’t do that,” he said in my ear.
“Do what?” I furrowed my brow.
“Don’t shut me out.”
“That’s rich coming from you, Clark.” I turned further, edging him out of my field of vision. “Let’s not do this tonight,” I said, walking away.
Nell appeared in my path with a mischievous look I had the sense to be suspicious of. “Come with me,” she said.
“You ditched me last time you suggested something,” I reminded her.
“I’ll stay this time. I promise.” She pulled me by the arm only a small distance. There was a woman sitting with a needle and a pot of ink. She was tall and attractive, bronze-skinned and light-eyed. I thought I remembered someone referring to her as FaRi. Even in my state, I knew this was a bad idea.
I stepped backward. “No, no, no. No needles.”
“Come on!” Nell pulled me forward again. “You’ve always wanted a tattoo. Most of the crew have them.”
She was right. I had seen the swirling script on many wrists since boarding the ship.
Nell tugged on my arm. “We don’t know what’s going to happen, Addie. Don’t you want something to always remember this by? Look, Clark will get one, too.”
“I thought you were getting one,” I said. “Besides, I don’t care what Clark does.”
“You say the sweetest things,” Clark said.
He was standing closer than I thought.
“I already have one,” Nell said, lifting her shirt to reveal ink on her abdomen.
I thought about it. I was planning on joining the crew, and she was right. I did want something to remember it by. But…
I grimaced. “That needle looks painful.”
“That’s why I suggested Clark. He can be our guinea pig,” she said, as though he wasn’t standing there at all.
He arched an eyebrow at her but didn’t argue. He stared straight at me. “Why not?” he issued my words from a few minutes ago like a challenge and held his arm out to the woman, who had been eying our exchange with amusement. “Should I tell you what I want it to say?” he asked her.
She chuckled. “That’s not how this works.”
She gestured for him to sit. I watched his face carefully for pain, but there wasn’t so much as a tightening behind his eyes. Only a few minutes later, he had a swirling Levelian script on the inside of his right wrist.
I sat down next, handing over my own right wrist, my eyes never leaving his.
“Other wrist,” the woman said.
I didn’t know why it mattered, but I shifted positions to hand her my left. She dipped the needle in the ink pot, and fire went through my wrist. My features tightened, and I forced them to relax, turning angry eyes on Clark.
“You liar,” I said.
“I guess I just have a better game face than you do,” he responded with a grin, reminding me of our card game all those weeks ago.
Like hell he does. I put my face carefully into a neutral mask. The pain was somewhere else. Merde. I narrowly resisted the urge to swat FaRi’s hand away.
Finally, the area numbed, and I no longer had to fake my relaxed face. I glanced up to find Clark studying me, heat in his gaze. Every part of me wanted to return the look, but his hot-and-cold game was starting to infuriate me. I jutted my jaw out instead, hardening my eyes.
The music started up again, and talking was no longer an option.
The woman gave my wrist back to me, indicating we were finished. I looked down at the black ink gracing my pale wrist and smiled. I loved it.
“What does it mean?” I asked in Nell’s ear. She shook her head to indicate she couldn’t hear me.
I started to ask again, but Clark tugged on my arm. Fire spread from the point of contact. I looked up at him, feigning a look of nonchalance, and he gestured his head toward the cabins. Surely he wasn’t suggesting what I thought he was. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he pursed his lips, pointing to his ear. We couldn’t talk out here with the music. I deliberated for a moment, then turned to lead the way.
I grabbed his uninked wrist to follow me. So we don’t get separated, I told myself.
The song paused for more cheering about something, and I was suddenly grateful to be going below decks. It was quieter as soon as we descended the stairs, but neither of us spoke until we were inside my cabin. I turned to face him after the door shut. His eyes were piercing me with their intensity.
“What?” I tried to sound casual or irritated, but my voice came out breathy.
“I need you to know nothing happened in that store
room, or at any point on the ship. With anyone.”
My eyes widened in surprise. That’s what he wanted to talk to me about?
“What you do and with whom is hardly my business, Clark. Why are you telling me this?”
He held my gaze, as though he was searching for something.
“Maybe I want it to be your business. Maybe I’ve wanted that since the moment I watched you pick your stubborn way across the shipyard, injured and barefoot.”
I stared at him, transfixed by what he was saying.
“You were so difficult and frustrating and utterly unyielding, but you were also determined and brave.” He moved closer, and I swallowed.
“Hell, maybe even before that, when you tried to spray me with the Shuteye.” He grinned, and I felt an answering one bloom on my own face.
It disappeared as quickly as it had come. I couldn’t make sense of what he was saying, wasn’t sure I wanted to. Words escaped me entirely, but he didn’t seem to need a response.
He cupped my face, putting a tender thumb over the bruise. My head was spinning, and not just from the alcohol. I couldn’t tear my gaze from his.
“When I saw you like this,” he breathed, “I wanted to strangle everyone who had a hand in it.” He bent down to kiss where his thumb had been. The tender motion stole my breath faster than a kiss on the lips ever had. But still, I felt like we had been down this road already.
“You can’t keep doing this, Clark. Wanting me one minute and not the next, whenever it’s convenient for you.”
“I want you every minute,” he said, kissing my neck now. I wasn’t stopping him. “And I assure you, it is never even remotely convenient.”
He moved his mouth to mine. I knew I should turn away, but this felt better than the buzz I had earlier tonight, better than the chocolate cake I had eaten on Perry’s boat. I wasn’t sure I had felt this much ever, certainly not in years. I kissed him back, opening my mouth to his. He pulled his mouth away a little, and I froze. He could not be doing this again.
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