“Addie,” he took in my expression, but didn’t back away. “I need you to understand something. The first time we kissed, you didn’t know who my father was. The second time, I thought you were engaged. And both times, it just about killed me to stop, to have to watch you face the world with this incredible,” he kissed me, “sexy,” another kiss, “amazing strength and know you would never be mine.”
His words hit me with a terrifying force. His. Suddenly, I wanted him to stop talking before he could say more things he likely wouldn’t mean in the morning, things I couldn’t bear to hear and then have taken back. I tugged the front of his shirt, pulling him in closer and stopping his flow of words with my mouth.
He pressed me against the wall, and I braced myself for my claustrophobia to kick in. It never did. It was like my body knew his and refused to rebel. We fit together like the pieces of a jaded puzzle. His mouth moved away from mine to trail hot kisses down my neck. He got to the necklace and groaned.
“I hate this thing.”
“I hate it more,” I said breathlessly. And I did. I hated everything that blocked his access to me.
Clark seemed to agree. He put his hands at the front zipper of my corset and tugged questioningly. I placed my hand over his and moved it downward, unzipping the outer piece entirely. He made a deep noise into my mouth and backed up, pulling me to the closest bed. My corset dropped to the floor, forgotten.
I pushed his jacket off. His hands moved to my buttons. He undid them deftly, kissing each new spot of skin as he went. I hoped he didn’t notice my heart was racing. I tugged upward on the hem of his shirt, and he pulled it over his head in one motion.
His scar was a brilliant shining white against his swarthy skin. It added to his attraction rather than taking away from it. My fingers danced along his skin, and he shivered. I moved them to his solid chest to find his heart was beating as quickly as my own. His mouth covered mine again, and the feeling of our bare skin meeting had me gasping.
He pulled back sharply. “What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”
“Well, maybe now, since I’m concerned you don’t recognize a good noise when you hear one. Been lacking in that department?” I teased, pulling his head back to mine.
He chuckled. “You’ll have to tell me.”
I wasn’t concerned, not if just his kisses had me fighting to catch my breath.
He stopped before kissing me again. “So, you don’t want me to stop?”
“Don’t you dare,” I responded.
His cocky grin sent a flush through my body before his head bent back to mine. I pulled his lip in between my teeth and gave it a tiny nip, and there were no more threats of him stopping.
My previous experiences had not prepared me for the way my body ignited everywhere he touched, for the flood of emotion that hit me when we joined together.
I never wanted it to end, and that thought was more terrifying than all the others put together.
I woke up in the warm cocoon of Clark’s arms. My heart was pounding before I even had both eyelids open, the need to flee overtaking me.
What had I been thinking? Had I honestly believed that I could spend the night with Clark and have it mean nothing, as I had with Perry? Had I been that foolish?
I hadn’t considered it was possible to feel so much with another person. To feel like you were coming home and going on an adventure all at the same time. I had thought maybe I could just get this out of my system, have this night and move on from it — as he, no doubt, would do. Or perhaps, I hadn’t thought at all.
I wriggled out from under Clark’s arm, trying not to wake him. The intense longing I felt to crawl back to the safety of his embrace was all the motivation I needed to get out of this room and fast.
Last night had been perfect, but I knew how this went. I would not be the girl left hanging on in the morning, clinging to words whispered unthinkingly in the middle of the night.
I stepped into my pants as quietly as I could. Where is my shirt? The wan light creeping underneath the door wasn’t nearly enough to search by. I felt out with my foot, finally snagging it on another piece of fabric.
I picked it up and nearly groaned. It wasn’t my shirt. It was Clark’s.
Any port in a storm, as my mother had been fond of saying. I pulled it over my head and tried not to inhale. I didn’t need one more reminder pulling me back to that bed. I had just about reached the door when his voice rang out behind me.
“Where are you going?”
I froze. I hadn’t actually thought that far ahead, but “somewhere you aren’t” didn’t feel like a good response.
“Breakfast.”
Here’s to hoping he hasn’t noticed I never eat this early.
Not that I actually knew what time it was.
“Try again, Addie.” He sounded exasperated now.
Well, that makes two of us.
“I’m just trying not to make this awkward, Clark, which you’ve officially ruined. Look, I’ll see you later. It’ll be fine.” I slipped out the door without waiting for a response. I was halfway to the stairwell when I felt him catch up with me. Tears were forming in my eyes, but I would not give them any traction.
I remained facing forward, cursing myself. I hated how much I wanted to go back to the comfort his arms had brought the night before. I hated how much I wanted him.
“Why would this be awkward, Addie?” He spoke calmly, rationally, and I felt like an idiot.
“You’re right, of course. We’re both adults. I turned eighteen on that horrid ship, and you’re…”
Perfect. I didn’t even know how old he was.
“Nineteen,” he supplied.
“Exactly. So, it’s great. I’ll see you around the ship.”
Clark’s arm caught me and spun me gently to face him. For a moment, my frazzled brain wondered why he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Then his eyes drifted to my own outfit, heat flashing in them before disappearing, and I remembered. I had stolen his.
Being inches from his bare chest was doing nothing for my resolve, but I kept my face carefully blank. I searched his features for some sign of how he felt about last night, but they were carved into neutrality.
That answers that question.
My own features hardened in response.
“Do you regret last night?” he asked, jaw working. “Did I… hurt you?”
“What? No!” I assured him, though the jury was still out on that first one. Giving in had been a mistake, one that would make going our separate ways in a couple days nearly unbearable for me. He definitely hadn’t hurt me, though. Not physically, anyway. “Did I hurt you?” I asked him cheekily, trying to deflect. Though, catching sight of what looked distinctly like a bite mark on his shoulder, it wasn’t entirely a joke.
I was rewarded with a chuckle and a shake of his head. He absently rubbed the spot I had been looking at, still grinning at me. I flushed to my core and looked away before he could see the heat in my gaze.
“Look, I thought last night was amazing,” Clark started.
“But that’s all it was. I get it. I really do. We don’t have to talk about this.” I spun back around to escape talking to him, like any mature adult would. The sky told me it was nearly noon, and the deck was brimming with the crew.
“That’s not how I was going to finish that sentence.” Clark was still following me. “Can you just come back, so we can talk about this?”
And now we were drawing the attention of a couple of the women nearby. Fantastic.
“There’s really nothing to talk about.” I was not interested in his emotional babysitting. I was a big girl. I didn’t need him to reassure me that he cared about me because of one night.
The weather had flipped on us again, and it was even hotter than Central Island out here. I bit back a curse at the bright light hitting my face, all but stomping across the deck. One of the older pirates shook her head as we passed.
“Don’t worry, Dearie,” she said to me. “It’
s always an adjustment.”
“What is?” I asked, brow furrowed.
“Marriage.”
The Princess
The explosion had rocked the island and the citizens on it. Nell spent hours down at the site, working until there was no more light to see by. Nell hadn’t been there when her father had succumbed to the illness ravaging his body. She hadn’t seen her family slaughtered in the coup or drowned in the storm. But today, she had seen their faces in every one of the people she had failed to save.
Death permeated the air. It clung to Nell’s skin, her very being, as she made her weary trek back to the house where she lived alone. Her fictitious shut-in grandmother kept the nosier neighbors at bay, and she had gotten comfortable there. She wouldn’t call it home, but then, she wasn’t sure she had ever felt that way about any place, even the Bastion.
A mewing brought her back to the present. She had almost forgotten about the kitten in her arms. It crossed her mind to keep it, to admit she wanted the company. It would never work, though. Nell needed the freedom her multiple residences offered. She couldn’t reliably be expected to take care of anything else.
Another shell of a face flashed through her mind. Amelie. Perhaps the only person at her entire school with a shred of genuine decency among a sea of entitled monsters. Nell had grown up a princess, and still couldn’t fathom the life of privilege these children led. They answered to no one, had no real responsibilities aside from their social climbing. Amelie had been different, though. For that matter, Nell had never seen her sister Adelaide be needlessly cruel. She had been known to throw a well-placed venomous barb in Sophie’s direction, but Nell hardly considered that needless. With that thought, an idea formed in Nell’s mind. She would wait, though.
She told herself it was to give Adelaide time, and perhaps that was true. The other reason, the one Nell never would have admitted even to herself, was that she couldn’t bear the thought of going home to that empty house after the horrific events of the day.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
CLARK
I was only half listening to Addie’s conversation. It took all of my willpower just to concentrate on my own conversation with her when she was standing there looking disheveled from our perfect night together and wearing my shirt. Though admittedly, her cold features detracted from that somewhat.
She didn’t seem precisely angry, but then, why had she fled this morning? Was it panic? We had been careful, taking advantage of the ample stash of contraceptives the Levelian pirates stocked their rooms with. In any event, Addie shouldn’t be too worried about that.
I would think if she had regretted her actions the first time, there would not have been several instances thereafter. Her words in the stairwell would indicate she left because she thought I wanted her to.
What did I say to give her that impression? I was about to demand the answer to that when a word the older woman said belatedly registered in my mind.
“Marriage.”
“Oh, no. We’re not married,” Addie corrected her after a short, stunned silence.
“Yes, you are,” the woman said.
Addie opened her mouth to argue, but just then another woman walked our way. MeLina, I thought.
“I hear in Ceithre, they say congratulations. Congratulations, Addie. I hope this brings you much happiness.”
“Congratulations on what?” Addie demanded, though her face told me she knew the answer.
“On your wedding.”
“I didn’t have a wedding, MeLina.”
MeLina laughed uncertainly. “Last night? The oath, the dance, getting each other’s names inked on your wrists.” She held up her own wrist. “You’re so funny, Addie.”
The blood drained from Addie’s face. My own head was spinning. I couldn’t even wrap my head around this. Addie took off at nearly a run to the captain’s quarters, and I followed her.
“Nell!” she yelled, startling a few of the crew members nearby.
The girl in question poked her head out of the cabin’s door. “What is it? Is everything all right?”
“Did you or did you not orchestrate a marriage between Clark and me?” Addie demanded.
Nell looked away guiltily. “I wouldn’t say orchestrate.”
The captain came behind her, looking first at Nell, then us. If Nell was a lesser princess, I suspected the captain would have been queen back on Levelia now that the rest of the royal family were gone. They had never said, but Nell deferred to her.
“Come in,” she said.
We did, and I shut the door behind me. Addie still hadn’t looked at me but for a single glance when the woman had congratulated her.
“What’s this about, PeNelope?”
“I just helped along something that was already in progress.”
“Played God with my life, you mean. Again.”
“You were going to marry someone you didn’t love, Addie. I was trying to help you. Besides, this way you can both stay.”
So, she had been engaged? I crossed my arms and looked at her. Was she still?
She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t engaged actually, but that’s hardly the point.” She turned back to Nell, fury in her eyes. “I don’t know what you were raised to believe, but this is not friendship. You don’t just take people’s choices away.”
“Addie,” she started, but a slap cut her off.
SuEllen stood next to her, hand still raised. “That’s enough, PeNelope. This is not the meaning of leadership. Now, go while I sort this out. If you want to act like a child, you can be treated like a child.”
Nell walked out, hand on her reddening cheek.
“So, how do we undo this?” Addie said.
It stung a little that she was so adamant about it.
“Generally, you don’t. The process for divorce on Levelia is intentionally tedious, taking years to complete. You have a ship full of witnesses and the ink on your arms declaring it binding. Let me think a moment.” SuEllen paused, rubbing at her wrist guards absentmindedly. “Oh, of course. The last step in legalizing the marriage is consummation, so as long as you didn’t consummate, it can still be dissolved. It won’t take the tattoo away, of course…” She trailed off, noticing our exchanged glance.
“I see,” she said. “In that case, my hands truly are tied. PeNelope will answer for her actions, but I cannot, legally, in my capacity as a Levelian Captain, dissolve a fully-binding marriage.”
“Even if the parties entered into it unwittingly?” Addie asked with disbelief.
“Well, it’s a multi-step process, dear. That’s never actually happened, to my knowledge. I did make an announcement. I said, and quote, ‘With the men on the ship, I suppose we will follow the Levelian tradition of offering the marriage cup. So, it’s ceremonial, but I have to ask. Do we have any who wish to drink?’”
Of course, Addie and I had been so distracted by each other we had missed that first part, but now hardly seemed like the time to mention that. The captain continued.
“So no, there is no clause for it. I’ll admit, I was rather surprised, what with your decision to remain on the ship with us.”
I glanced sharply at Addie, who was still not looking at me. Apparently, there were several things she had decided to keep to herself.
“You didn’t think to mention that?” I asked her.
“I didn’t think it would make a difference to you.”
I shook my head in disbelief. Does she honestly believe that?
I still could not, for the life of me, figure out for whose sake she was keeping me at arm’s length. Or if she really was only interested in a physical relationship. I almost laughed at the notion, how the tables would be turned on me, but I couldn’t honestly believe that everything I felt last night was one-sided.
“So, you were just, what?” I asked. “Going to let us know when the rest of us disembarked at the Ever Falls and you stayed on the ship?” My irritation was plain in my voice.
Her guilty expression
confirmed that as her plan. I shook my head. That had actually been sarcasm, but it was nice to know where we rated on her priorities.
Has she told Locke or Gunther? Or is it just me she’s hell-bent on keeping in the dark?
The captain cleared her throat. I turned to leave. There wasn’t really anything else to say if the captain wouldn’t change her mind. Addie seemed to agree, because she muttered something about heading back to the cabin. We walked down together. I needed clothes, anyway.
Instead of continuing on to the cabin, she detoured at the showers. I followed her into the room, determined to figure out what was going through her head. She looked back, eyes wide. Her make-up was a little smeared and her hair was a mess, but she was gorgeous. It made me lose my train of thought for a moment.
“What, Clark?” She sounded tired and sad. “Look,” she continued without waiting for an answer, “I’ll figure this out. I’m not holding you to anything you said last night.” She turned the water on, letting it get hot. Her fingers went to lift the hem of her shirt — my shirt, actually, I thought — but she stopped. She shook her head, muttering something about nothing I hadn’t seen before. “Lock the door if you’re staying,” she said.
I did, then turned back to her. “Addie, this isn’t just your problem.”
She winced a little on that last word.
“That’s not what I meant,” I started.
“It’s really fine, Clark.”
I let out a groan. Merde, she’s frustrating. And distracting. The water was steaming behind her, and she was nearly bare now. Her bruises were finally fading.
“Are you engaged to the prince or not?” I blurted out. That wasn’t how I wanted this encounter to go, but I needed the answer before I addressed what she had said.
She stepped under the water and I swallowed, hard, trying to remind myself why the answer to this question was so important.
“I told the king I would marry the prince. I didn’t even talk to Perry about it first, because I’m selfish and spoiled and just wanted to get my way, which was to go to the Ever Falls. He had made the offer, so I assumed he would be amenable, but I didn’t so much as grant him a conversation before going to the king, because I was afraid I would back out.” She turned, leaving me to watch the water streaming down her back. “Don’t worry. Fate has already made me pay for that one. Before we could announce it at the museum, everything with the necklace happened. When we got back, I think he announced it to try to extend his protection. I don’t have those feelings for Perry. I never did.” She stopped, scrubbing her face.
The Tempest Sea Page 21