UnTouch Me

by Dawn Martens

  Lilly’s face pales. “I didn’t know until later, but she went to the club, because she was told that’s where Jasper was. And, well, she saw him with Monica,” she says quietly.

  “Fuckin’ hell, Angel thought he was fuckin’ hallucinating that shit.”

  I don’t bother saying anything to her as I finish getting my clothes on and leave, ignoring the protests of Lilly trying to talk to me.

  I need to tell Angel this shit. It might help to fix his and Eden’s relationship, and honestly, I needed to get the hell out of there. Her confession had me feeling like a real scumbag. She’s been upfront, came clean about everything, and look at me. I’m a bigger liar than she ever thought about being. Lilly lied to protect Eden’s secret. I’m lying to cover my own ass.

  “I don’t think this plan is a good idea,” I tell her.

  “Doesn’t matter. It needs to get done,” she says.

  “Yeah, but no one is together. I doubt they will care if we do this.”

  “It will be done, and if it isn’t, well, you will have to go,” she says, sneering at me.

  “Fuck, woman, I’m telling you I don’t think it will work.”

  “Trust me, it will. There is no other way. No matter what we seem to do, it doesn’t shake them. Something big needs to happen. I expect it done,” she says as she gets up from her seat and walks away.

  Fuck, this won’t work. Shit is bad between these guys. I doubt this plan of hers will work, but to make her happy and to get her off my back before she kills me, I’ll do it. Bitch is cold and evil.

  Pulling up to the clubhouse, I notice Angel’s truck is here. He’s been riding around in that more than his bike lately, because he likes to be able to get his kids whenever he can.

  I shut off the engine and walk into the clubhouse, and see him sitting on the couch. “Hey, man, gotta talk to ya,” I tell him, and move to his office.

  He follows slowly behind me and shuts his door. “What’s up?” he asks, looking worried.

  “Remember that time you dreamt about Eden coming back?” I start.

  “Yeah, man,” he says.

  “It wasn’t a fuckin’ dream. She really was here,” I tell him and wait for him to blow up.

  “What?” he whispers out. “No, it can’t be real.”

  “Yeah, Lilly confessed that shit to me this morning. She came back for you, man, came to be with you. She came to tell you she was pregnant.” I lay it all out.

  He picks up the frame on his desk of him and Eden, and smashes it against the wall. He nearly splits his hand open with the glass. “Fuck! No wonder she didn’t want shit to do with me when she came back, after seeing me fuckin’ high and fuckin’ Monica in front of her. Shit!” he shouts.

  “Calm down, man,” I tell him. “Fuck, this isn’t easy, but while we’re confessing shit, I should tell you this.”

  “What? What more could you possibly tell me?” Angels asks.

  Reaper comes behind me, almost as if bracing for something bad to happen.

  “I knew about the twins,” I blurt out. Before I can even brace for a reaction, I’m on the floor with a busted lip.

  “When? When the fuck did you find out?” Angel yells.

  “Angel, fuck, simmer,” Reaper says with a growl, holding him back.

  “The night we left Eden’s place when she first came back, I found a safe in Lilly’s house, opened it, and found pictures. I didn’t think that shit should come from me, okay, fuck!” I throw my hands up.

  “Fuck, I want…” Jasper stops short and punches the wall next to my head. “You should have fucking told me.” He shakes his head, anger rolling from his shoulders as he cracks his neck.

  “Need to calm down, brother,” Reaper tells him smoothly.

  “Alright.” Jasper shrugs Reaper off and doesn’t bother looking at me as he storms out of the office.

  “What the fuck else you hiding, man? You know something about Hilary you haven’t told me? Huh, fucker?” Reaper knocks my beanie off, and I shake my head as I’m looking at the floor. I can’t seem to do a damn thing right.

  “Come on, let’s grab a beer.” He nods and walks out the door. I follow, taking him up on that. Today has been fucked.

  I walk into Eden’s place and hear the laughter of the children. I smile and place a hand on my stomach. Only a week left to go before this baby is due. I’ve decided on the name Elizabeth Ann. Vinny doesn’t know yet, but I’m giving her my last name. I don’t plan to tell him either, not until I fill out the paperwork at least.

  I know he wants this child to have his last name, but I don’t feel comfortable with that. If we were married, or even together, then yes, I’d happily give her his last name. But we’re not, so this child will share my name.

  “Hey, you’re here!” Eden says, walking out and giving me a smile.

  “Yeah, waddled all the way over,” I say jokingly.

  Eden laughs. “I’m just packing up the twins. Jasper will be by soon to pick them up for the weekend.”

  “I’ll just go sit over there until then,” I say, waddling to the couch.

  The front door opens minutes later, and Jasper comes in. “Dad!” I hear shouted.

  “Ready?” Jasper asks the twins.

  “Can I come too? Please!” Glenna asks while peeking around the corner.

  “If that’s okay with your sister,” he says, looking at her smiling.

  They all file out the door, Jasper never once looking in Eden’s direction. Eden looks at him, hoping he’ll say something.

  “Still not going well?” I ask her when she settles down beside me.

  She shakes her head. “He doesn’t even say hi to me anymore. I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me.”

  I pat her leg. “I know how that feels.”

  “Yeah, we’re all in the same boat- you, me, and Hilary. And I was always told I was the stubborn one,” she says dryly.

  I feel a twinge in my lower back that has me panting. “Oh my fuck,” I breathe out. A sharp pain shoots down my spine all the way down my legs.

  “Are you okay?” Eden asks, worried.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I say. “I just need to stand up and walk a bit. Sometimes, if I sit for too long, I get back pains,” I tell her as I move to stand up.

  The second I stand, I hear a pop and a whoosh. I look down at my feet, and water is soaking my pants and feet. I know I did not just piss myself.

  “Oh shit.” I place my hand on my stomach when another pain hits, causing me to double over.

  “You’re having the baby!” Eden jumps up excitedly.

  I let out a scream when another one hits not even two minutes later.

  “Oh shit! Those are coming too fast. We’ll never make it to a hospital,” Eden says, panicking.

  “I’m here, bitches. Let’s get this party started,” Hilary says, walking into the house.

  When she gets to the living room, she freezes. “Oh, hell no!”

  She pulls out her phone and calls 911. “Yeah, my bitch is having a fucking baby. Like right now!”

  Hilary is completely freaking out as Eden gently gets me to lie down on her couch, sliding a garbage bag and towels underneath me.

  “We need to get your pants off,” she tells me while gently pulling them down.

  “Are you seriously gonna look at her cooter?” Hilary shrieks, still on her phone. “I’m not calming down, lady. She’s having a damn baby! I don’t want to see her cooter!” she yells into the phone. “Where is the damn ambulance? It better mother fucking get here before my life is tragically altered! I swear, I will sue you for therapy if not.”

  “Eden, shut her the hell up!” I scream as another contraction starts.

  “Close her legs!” Hilary yells.

  “Isn’t it too early?” I breathe out, trying to control some of this pain.

  Eden shakes her head no. “It’s fine. Trust me, you’re only a week away.” She reaches over to her coffee table, picking up her phone.

  “Vinny?
Yeah, don’t care, shut your damn mouth and listen! It’s Lilly. She’s having the baby. We’re at my house right now, and the ambulance is on the way,” she says and hangs up. “Asshole,” she mutters.

  “Oh my God! What is that?” Hilary again screeches, pointing between my legs.

  Eden calmly turns to her and glares. “It’s the baby’s head. Now, would you please shut up?”

  Hilary starts dry heaving. “I’m gonna puke. Oh my God!”

  “Seriously?” I say disbelievingly.

  The door crashes open, and in walks Mason and Vinny, both looking worried and pissed all at the same time.

  Eden hangs up on me after telling me that Lilly is having the baby. Shit! “Reaper, ride out! Lilly is having the baby,” I shout as I’m running out to my bike.

  I break all speed limits in town and pull up to Eden’s house. I hear screaming and rush inside. Lilly is on the couch, tears running down her face and clearly in pain. Eden is trying to help her, and Hilary is dry heaving and looking green.

  “Why the hell didn’t you get her to the hospital?” I demand to know.

  “Uh, maybe because we were busy trying to help her? And the ambulance will be here any minute,” Eden snaps at me.

  My cell goes off, and I answer it without looking at the name. “What?” I bark.

  “Vincent, it’s time,” I hear Kayla say through obvious pain.

  Fuck, this is not good, not good at all. “I’m sorry. You’ll have to call someone else. Lilly is having the baby. I’ll be there the minute I can,” I say hanging up.

  What the fuck am I gonna do now? Both my kids are being born on the same damn day. Fuck!

  I hold my little girl in my arms, singing to her softly. God, she’s so beautiful. Vinny disappeared about an hour ago and wouldn’t tell me where he was going, just said he’d be back. He has been acting all weird and jittery. Guess he has the first time father nerves.

  The door opens quietly, and Vinny comes in, looking rough. “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” I tell him. He has dark rings under his eyes and a trim of his beard wouldn’t hurt either.

  He shakes his head. “No, I’m fine.” He comes to the bed and takes the baby from me. I’ve already named her, but I don’t want to say anything yet. He looks so perfect cuddling our daughter. His tired appearance and worried glances have begun to fade as he looks at that sweet face. He seems to relax as he sways with her in his strong protective arms. I hope like hell he stays like this with her always.

  Vinny’s head snaps up when there is a knock on the door and it opens. “Hey, Miss Mayer, I’m just here to check on everyone,” she says, smiling. “Someone sent you flowers.” She sets a vase of white Calla Lilies on the table.

  She sees Vinny and frowns, looking confused. “Really? But I thought…” she trails off.

  A weird tense feeling is vibrating from Vinny. I look to the two of them, feeling confused. Do they know each other?

  Vinny’s jaw clenches, and he shifts uncomfortably in the chair. “Seems you’re having a busy day. Two babies born the same day,” she says with a small, strange smile.

  “What?” I whisper out. I must have heard her wrong. Did she just say two babies, meaning Vinny has another child who was born today other than mine?

  “Lilly-pad,” Vinny starts.

  I put my hand up. Whatever kind of bullshit story he is about to try and feed me, I don’t want to hear it. “Give me my baby,” I demand. Reluctantly, Vinny brings her to me, and I hold her possessively. “Who?” I croak out.

  He sighs. “Kayla,” he says quietly.

  “Get out,” I say, willing myself to keep my cool while holding my child.

  “Babe,” he starts.

  “You don’t get to ‘babe’ me.” I shake my head. “Here I was, always trying to make it right between us again, yet you knew it would never work. Was I the other woman, or was she?” I ask. “No, wait, I don’t even want to know. Just leave.” Tears pool in the corners of my eyes and slowly trickle down my face. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life.

  He hangs his head down in shame, jerks his beanie from his head, and walks out without looking back. His feet drag as though he is trudging through quicksand. Now everything makes perfect sense. It all fits together inside my head- why he’s been weird, all of the lies, the feeling that something was off. All this time, I thought it was me, but nope. He was covering his cheating, lying tracks. He has ruined everything. Vincent has broken my heart for the last time. I am so done with him. Why didn’t I see it? How did he keep this hidden? No matter how some things change, others stay the same. Will I always be fighting with Vinny?

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” the nurse says, sounding upset.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I tell her, looking at my daughter. “Here, can you take her while I fill out the birth documents.” I have more important things to worry about than Vinny—my daughter.

  “Yeah, of course,” she says, coming over to me and taking her out of my arms.

  I pull the table over that has the forms on them and start filling it out. Elizabeth Ann Mayer. At this point, I’m glad I didn’t change my mind; Vinny doesn’t deserve to share his last name with her. I fill out everything, naming Vincent as the father.

  I switch with the nurse. “Can you take that to him, and have him sign it, please?”

  She nods and leaves the room. I stare down at my Elizabeth with tears streaming down my face. “I love you, baby girl,” I say, kissing her head. She smells so good; she has that perfect baby smell. She’s looking up at me with such hope and wonder in her eyes. I hope I never let her down. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but something has to give. I…no, my baby deserves some good in her life.

  I open the door to Kayla’s room, feeling like complete shit. I know, as of right now, I’ve lost Lilly for good. All this time in the back of my mind, I thought maybe somehow we could make it work one day, but that look on her face a minute ago nearly killed me. I might not have all the answers, but if I know one thing, it is that I won’t let my kids down.

  “Hey,” Kayla says sleepily from the bed. She ended up having to have a C-section because it turned out the baby was breach.

  “Hey,” I say roughly. I feel like the weight of the world is resting on my shoulders.

  “You look as rough as I feel.” She studies me cautiously.

  “Hectic day.” I shrug. I’m sure she doesn’t really want to hear about my shit with Lilly right now.

  “I filled out all the forms. You just have to sign where it says father’s signature,” she tells me, pointing to the papers on the table.

  I go over and sign. I see the name, Rose Marie Torino, and it hits me- I didn’t even ask Lilly what we are naming our daughter.

  She gives a small smile. “I thought it was perfect for her.”

  “Where’s Brandon?” I ask her. She doesn’t like it when I call him by his club name. Having to get used to calling my brother by his given name sucks, because more often than not, I slip up, and of course when I do, Kayla gives me the stink eye.

  “He left not that long ago, wanted to get home and clean up. I hated how you couldn’t be in the room with me, but I understand. I’m just happy I had someone with me for it,” she says quietly.

  Just then, a knock comes at the door. “Oh, good, you’re signing those, so you can sign these ones too,” says the nurse from before who just fuckin ruined my life, then she hands me more papers. I know it isn’t her fault, but that wasn’t how I wanted shit to happen.

  “What did you guys name your child?” Kayla asks me. She sits up in the bed, and the nurse reaches her and helps get her set up for feeding Rose. Kayla seems so happy, and Lilly was happy until I broke her.

  “Um, I don’t know.” I flip over the paper and look. “Elizabeth Ann,” I say.

  “Beautiful,” Kayla whispers, cooing over our daughter.

  I keep reading over the papers. I know how Lilly is; she misses things a
ll the time. That’s when I see it. “What the fuck?” I say.

  “What?” Kayla asks worriedly.

  “Elizabeth Ann Mayer,” I repeat.

  “Oh,” she says, stunned as I am that Lilly did this. I can’t believe her. This hurts.

  “I’ll be back,” I say, moving out of the room and back to Lilly’s. Opening the door, I shut it and glare at her, holding up the papers. “Why doesn’t she have my last name?”

  “Because she’s mine,” Lilly says, not looking at me. She cuddles our daughter tighter.

  “She’s mine too.” Fuck, Lilly is going to fight me at every turn now.

  “Yeah, well, we’re not together. My daughter will have my last name, and if she decides she wants yours when she’s older, then she can change it.”

  I toss the papers on the table. “I’m not signing that, not unless the last name is changed.”

  “Fine, then you can sign those ones instead,” she says, pointing toward her purse in the chair I was sitting in moments ago while holding our daughter. It seems like it was already hours ago. That nurse had to open her mouth.

  I walk over and take them out, read them over, and the blood drains from my face. “What?” She can’t be serious. Why would she do this? “Why in the hell would I sign this shit?”

  “Parental Termination papers, Vinny.” Her face is stoic, showing no emotion. This isn’t my Lilly, but then again, I guess she is no longer mine.

  “When did you get these? And why?” I demand. Why doesn’t she just go down the hall, take a scalpel, and cut my heart of my chest, because that is what she will be doing if she thinks for one damn minute that I’ll give up my child.

  She shrugs. “I got them from your mother, actually. Just, you seemed like you didn’t want anything to do with us, so I kept them in case.” Have I really been that horrible to her? Does she really believe I don’t want to be a father to our beautiful baby girl?

  “I’ll sign the other fucking papers, but this isn’t over,” I tell her as I rip up the ones I got from her purse and stomp to where the other papers are.