Defiled

by Elskidor Xell

  Darius typically preferred his solitude, but with the stress and concern of recent days, Calysto's free spirit proved a most welcome respite. Darius possessed the medallion of his vision now, even if he didn't understand why. His biggest concern was the two women he kept seeing in his images. Luminear and Bella had entered his mind countless times over the years, and never once did he understood why or who they were.

  To this riddle, he desperately needed an answer. From as early as when the girls lived in Frenmere Pass, and even before, Darius received small flashes of them. Now, Darius suspected these two women were somehow directly linked to the bizarre happenings in Crusayla. Queen Haelleenia, across the sea, remained his one hope for answers, and to her, he would go.

  Chapter Two

  The Prisoner

  Two full moons have passed since I did what I did in Crusayla. What did I do? I still don’t know, but it has left me plagued. Now we run to the north to find refuge. They pretend like nothing happened, and salvation will be found when we reach Cassenneth. But nothing is fine. Not with me. Not in the world. Not with Bella. Bella can’t fool me. I see through the confident mask she hides behind, and watch her crumbling, just like me. I wish I could help her, but I can’t even help myself. I have my own battle to fight.

  I’m scared and don’t want this battle. I yearn for Icaz’s medallion to ease my worries. How can it be that part of me wants to return to the safety of my cage in Magwhen? I am a terrible person. Bella came to save me, but I am not the person she expected. Our reunion is one of twisted circumstances. I thought I wanted this, but everything is terrifying. This world is bigger than I remembered -Too big for me.

  I must understand what’s happening. What foul curse did I unlock? Those monsters came for me, not them, and still, they are hunting us. I feel it in my very being. Something wicked is approaching. It calls for me.

  ~Luminear

  "We must save his mind! Take him to the next village. Maybe there’s medicine. Something. Lockage! They must possess some treatment for him. We aren’t far from Cassenneth. Give him more time."

  Luminear watched as Bella begged Markus and Fern to spare the life of their prisoner. As much as Luminear shared Bella’s pain, she also sympathized with the men. He’s sure to kill us if we free him, Bella. They are only trying to protect us. Before a campfire, her three companions argued back and forth to determine the fate of this man, but Luminear kept her gaze on the gagged and constricted armored captive tied to the base of a tree. What happened to you back there? Who made you do this, and why? She silently asked the confined man, who she sensed had answers to this and many other questions on her mind if only he weren’t a zombie.

  "Bella. This is not him. This is a beast. There is no cure for whatever this is. He’s infected, and he tried to murder us. We must do this," Fern made the plea, but Markus agreed with him, and Luminear wondered if they might restrain Bella to execute this menacing detainee.

  "Now listen, Bella. If we don’t end him, he’ll come back again or go get more of his kind to find us," Markus said. Still, Bella stood before their prisoner, shielding him as she fought for his life, not allowing either man past her.

  "Neither of you know that! We don’t understand what’s going on, so you can’t assume anything! He came alone, didn’t he? Part of him is in there. He wants to be saved. He escaped and came for us!" Bella countered, refusing to believe otherwise. "Lockage. The Wonder City possesses some antidote, surely. We can save him! He would do the same for us!" Bella looked between the two for support.

  "Antidote for what Bell? What is this?" Markus flaunted his hand to their tied captive, as he asked what Luminear also wondered.

  There’s no cure for this, but Bella will never let you kill him, Markus. She loves him. And I can’t watch this anymore. Luminear turned and crept away, never having said anything aloud, but she did not miss the terror in Fern’s words as she left.

  "Why and how did he-? How did he find us? None of this makes sense. Something is very wrong here."

  It had only been a fortnight since their terrifying ambush by dratzels in the night when this unlikely foe showed up and attacked them. A solitary knight, wearing elegant black armor, with wicked twisted spikes protruding from its shoulders, helmet, and gauntlets rode into their midst. The silent sentinel appeared quite foreboding, but also out of place and in the middle of nowhere. At first, the group laughed, thinking the absurd rider must be playing a prank. Yet, when he reached them and raised his sword to strike, it became clear this was no game.

  Four against one were not good odds, but the black knight fought far better than Bella assumed he would. Still, they took him down despite his superior skills and excellent durable armor, which exceeded any they’d ever seen. Nothing prepared them for what came next. When Bella removed the helmet, she stared into the face of Laelliandir Javalla. Unable to speak, he acted in reflex, still fighting with intent to murder them.

  Clearly, his mind was just as bent as before. They saw no choice but to bind his hands and legs and claim his horse, keeping him confined for days. Nothing they said or did seemed to help him, and every time they loosened his bonds, Laelliandir lashed out again. The endeavor to free him of whatever had possessed him proved fruitless, and after days with no change, it came down to the tough choice of what they should do about him. With dwindling resources, they made camp near a forest to decide Laelliandir’s fate.

  "I don’t sarding have the answers, but we aren’t killing him," Markus was about done with Bella’s defensive absurdities. Ever since Bella recovered her memory, she’d been colder toward him. Worse yet, now Laelliandir had come back, and Bella showed this zombie more compassion than she had toward him. He sighed in agitation, before unsheathing his blade.

  "Bell. Let me do this. You don’t have to watch." Markus said.

  "No!" she shrieked, stepping in front of their prisoner, defending him from her husband. Fern looked away, as Bella raised her hand to halt Markus’s advance.

  "Bell. Be rational. Are we to leave him here to rot? Tied secure. Is that humane? Is that how he should go? We can’t haul him around like this. He is a danger. If we let him go, he is sure to attack us or other people." Bella’s emotions boiled over, and tears ran down her face. She couldn’t let Laelliandir die like this.

  "We can’t," Bella sobbed. Secretly she believed Markus was right, and Markus knew she understood how little choice they had. He reached out to set his hand on her shoulder to offer comfort.

  "I can be the one to give him mercy. Go to your sister. I love you. I want us safe." Bella only heard one thing. Her husband was about to murder Laelliandir, and she would not allow it. Bella couldn’t do that. She wouldn’t. As Markus tried to guide her away from Laelliandir, Bella shoved him back and shouted through her tears.

  "Keep your sarding hands off him. You will not harm him! He is under my protection!" Bella underlined her assertion by withdrawing her sword to threaten the men. "Are you going to fight me over this?" Fern certainly wasn’t.

  "Markus. Let her be," Fern said before abandoning the couple to find Luminear. He wanted no part of this any longer. Markus, however, flared in anger.

  You protect a thing who might kill us?" Markus asked but didn’t allow her time to respond. "Is he worth that much to you? This man you think is inside. He is worth more than your sister? Me? You throw away everything for Laelliandir? A memory of Laelliandir? That is what you are telling me?"

  "I’m telling you to leave him alone!" Bella bellowed through her tears.

  "Why, Bell?" Markus shook his head, looking at her pained. "You still love him. Ever since you came back, I lost you. For him again?" Markus tossed down his sword.

  "I’m still right here!” Then incredulous she asked, “You lost me? I lost myself! I don’t recognize who the sard I am anymore! Only how I feel one moment to the next, and that’s telling me you will not kill this man. If you do, you make everything worse."

  "I’m trying so hard to help you, but you don�
�t let me in anymore. You need to trust me on this. He will slay us, or something awful will happen."

  "You can’t help me. I don’t need help! And everyone needs to trust me because I’m the only one keeping us alive out here. You’d all be dead the night of the monster attack." Bella pointed to their captive and yelled, "This is not Laelliandir! I will not betray the man inside this thing. Do you have any idea what it is like to be caged inside your own mind?" She glared at him accusingly. "Markus? I do! Get the sard away from me!"

  With that, Markus too stepped back with tears in his eyes. He wouldn’t contest Bella any longer. "As you wish, love," he said before turning to walk away.

  ***

  Because Bella refused to murder him and feared Markus or Fern just might as a measure of safety, Bella decided her only choice was to set him free. Deep in the forest, she dragged him for hours with plans to release him well away from their camp, but first, she wanted to talk to him. Bella still hoped she might reach him, but little did she realize Laelliandir remained aware of everything around him. As a plagued slave, he was helpless. He could neither speak nor act of his own volition.

  After removing him from the horse, she walked his shackled body on a leash, talking as she went. "Wherever you are, you need to come back now. You can’t stay here like this. Not like this. It’s a danger and unfair because I can’t promise to keep you safe. I can’t keep watch over everyone as much as I wish I could, and I don’t trust them not to do you harm. Not Markus and Fern anyway." Bella clutched his helmet in her other hand, unable to talk to him under that disguise. She had no idea where he had gotten such foreboding armor, but she would let him keep it. If he would be doing dangerous things, she wanted him protected, even as she suffered guilt over it. For Bella, this was an impossible situation.

  When they reached deep enough within the forest to reassure Bella it was safe, she dragged Laelliandir to sit against a tree and squatted before him. She tossed her hood off so he could look into her mournful eyes. Bella placed his helmet upon his lap and gripped the sides of his bearded face.

  "Listen to me."

  Not like he had a choice. Laelliandir stared like a zombie, eyes vacant, appearing to look through her and giving her no reason to think there was a shred of him left. Still, she kept trying.

  "I’m upset with you. You said you wouldn’t leave, and you did again. You need to come back and make everything right. I need you back. I can’t do this alone, Lae. You see? I’ve already lost my sister. She hardly speaks, and she may never return to how she used to be," Bella pleaded, her voice breaking with emotion. "I think they shattered her mind. I’m alone here! And my head’s not right, but one thing keeps coming back. You." She clarified with a trembling smile.

  "That is right. You. I realize I’m a terrible person. I can’t help it. I’m selfish. But I love you too. I have always loved you. They ruined my mind and shoved things where they didn’t belong. But one thing I am sure of. You were supposed to come back after Magwhen, and we were supposed to be married. I’m still the sarding girl that’s crazy about you. I need you to come back." Bella’s eyes grew watery, and she bowed her head sobbing. "Damn me! Markus. I’m ruining him. Sard. He knows." Her thoughts changed direction again, from guilt and self-loathing to defensiveness.

  "I didn’t ask for this. They did this to me. I’m back. Or sardingly well trying, and I still love you and always will. You understand? Sarding stupid, I know. I’m married, but I can’t help how I feel," She looked back into his dead eyes, trying to capture some essence of the man within, struggling to pull him out.

  "They tried to warp my memories and make me forget, but never a day passed," She let the thought hang in the air for a moment. "I displaced you in my heart. Even when misguided. I didn’t realize it was you. Some of those memories. I’m not making any sense. The time we shared was short, but I loved you before you left the first time. I waited for two years until you came back to me. To me, that was my world. You helped shape me; impacted me in a way that will never be undone. You’re my champion and would never betray me. It’s your nature. You said so many times before. It is who we are, you’d say. We don’t give up on our own, not ever. And I don’t want to give up on you, you realize that? We are going far to the north, and we will find a safe home and rebuild. All of us. You want to come with me, right? We all deserve a second chance." She struggled through her thoughts and shared everything that came to mind, opening up to him more than she had to anyone in a long time.

  "You are not damned, only adrift. Dreams were made by the memories of that man, and you will rise again. Lay this now to rest. Come back to me, Lae. Come back, Lae. The world is far colder without you in it. Let go. Whatever happened back there. Whatever this is and wherever you are, it is time to return. This is not you. Let go!" Bella pleaded, and within Laelliandir wept, wanting so much to say something. Beg her to execute him only to stop what he could not control. He was a victim and trapped in his own body.

  "I must free you. I will not kill you, and if I do not, then I fear Markus will. I can’t let you go. Not like this. You understand?" Bella cried out to him. And then it happened. Somewhere deep within, Laelliandir took control for but an instant. A single tear streamed from his desolate eye. Bella was now sure he understood her. Not that she ever doubted he did, no matter how many times Markus and Fern insisted otherwise. She was not crazy. "You are in there, Lae! You hear me, don’t you? I knew it. Come back, please! This isn’t you. Let me help you. I’m here for you, Lae."

  Bell...You need to understand. I cannot control this. You must stop me. Laelliandir fought hard to speak. Alas, nothing came out. Nothing but a blank stare and a solemn tear.

  "Let go. To give in is to give up. Don’t give up. Ever. Remember who you are. I still believe in you. I always will. You’re not done here. You must fight this. For me. For yourself. Please. I love you so much." Bella threw her arms around him, unaware of the tears that streamed down her face.

  She grasped him and continued to beg.

  Bella couldn’t let go. Not at first. For what seemed like forever, she stayed by his side. It was nearly sunrise when she gave in and loosened his restraints just enough to allow him to break free eventually. Then she left him defenseless in the woods and rode away. She parted once more to protect herself and her own. Her own except for Laelliandir.

  Chapter Three

  The Price

  A few days after Laelliandir’s release, Luminear, Bella, Markus, and Fern neared the border of Cassenneth. They stopped in a small village with no more than two dozen homes and a few business establishments. The region here was flat and uniform, allowing travelers to view Cassenneth ahead. In the far distance, still hundreds of miles away, Lockage towered. The capital climbed so high the group wasn’t sure what it was until a friendly villager answered their curious questions. It lay northwest of their location and still weeks away, but straight north, by a few hours, stood a few notable towers.

  "Cassenneth boundary. That be the river of Pallae, and the bridge will take you to the Northern Realm. Those towers belong to Cassenneth military. Keeps us out. Unless you pay the toll, of course. Pay the price, and you can pass," said one villager who explained their location and what they needed to enter Cassenneth, their future home, and refuge.

  To raise funds needed to enter Cassenneth, the four took up residence in a couple of rooms at a guest lodging in the village with plans to work as farmhands to raise needed funds. After a short stop, they would be in, what the four now thought, was the safest place in all Murnia. Even Luminear believed the peaceful north might be the only refuge from the horror that brewed south. The military compounds which guarded the primary bridges separating Cassenneth and the Freelands further enhanced the belief that the north would grant the deliverance they longed for.

  After Bella had released Laelliandir, she dealt with frequent pangs of guilt. She had given Laelliandir the one thing she could: his freedom, at the cost of going against Markus’s wishes. Her place now wa
s with her sister, husband, and dear friend, Fern. Bella realized treating Markus better was a must. He deserved more than the distant, often cold, woman Bella mirrored. Despite her mind being a wreck, this man remained a loyal husband and her best friend, and she needed him to know that she loved him still.

  After four days of work, and on what would be their last night in the humble town, Bella reached out to Markus in a way she hadn’t in months. She took him to bed and expressed her love for him with few words. She laid him down and tried her best to repair her failure as a wife by giving herself to him. Bella loved Markus very much, even though she also loved Laelliandir.

  After their moment passed, Bella slid off him and snuggled into his chest, wrapping her arms around him. She knew he wanted this, and part of her craved this. Even though Bella appeared tough as nails, she wanted to be loved and taken care of too. She tired of being the leader. Exhausted with pretending to be strong, collected, and in control, she missed talking with Luminear something wicked. Alone and scared in her thoughts, Bella needed Markus as much as he needed her.

  "That better? Do you feel loved by me?" Bella asked, laying her head on his chest and rolling her fingers through his short dark hair. Markus smiled down at her.