Newborn Under the Christmas Tree

by Sophie Pembroke

  Jumping out of the bed, she raced for the door and yanked it open.

  The lounge was empty.

  Logically, she knew that Liam wouldn’t have taken Jamie far—they were in his home, for heaven’s sake—but that didn’t make her heart pound any less. Pausing only to grab her slippers—the stone floors were freezing—she dashed out of Liam’s suite and headed for the stairs, listening all the while for the sound of a baby’s cries.

  She heard nothing.

  Nothing as she passed the Christmas tree where they’d found him, nothing as she ran past the library. Nothing at all...until she neared the kitchen.

  The smell of bacon cooking was unmistakable, but it was far too early for Maud to have arrived. And Maud didn’t sing songs from the musicals in a light tenor.

  Alice slowed, smiling, as she took the steps down to the kitchen.

  Inside, she saw Liam at the stove, turning bacon as he sang, while Jamie lay on a blanket, surrounded by cushions, on the floor a few feet away.

  ‘Ready for breakfast?’ he asked without turning, and she wondered how he knew she was there.

  ‘You said you weren’t going to take him anywhere.’

  ‘You said,’ Liam corrected her. ‘And I didn’t. We’re still in the castle.’

  ‘I meant stay in the suite.’

  ‘He got bored, and I didn’t want him to wake you up. So I took him on a little tour of the castle, introduced him to Rusty outside your office, and now we’re raiding Maud’s supplies to make you breakfast.’

  ‘That’s...kind of you.’ She crossed to where Jamie was staring into the middle distance and knelt beside him to hide her confusion.

  She wasn’t sure what she’d expected when Liam had offered to help her out with Jamie, but breakfast hadn’t really been part of it.

  ‘He seems content,’ she said, tucking Jamie’s hands back under the blanket.

  ‘He’s a very happy baby, most of the time.’ Liam flipped the bacon onto slices of bread already laid out on plates on the counter. ‘Surprisingly.’

  ‘Why surprising?’ They’d taken good care of him so far. Why wouldn’t he be happy?

  Liam added the second slices of bread to the bacon sandwiches and handed her a plate. ‘Well, considering the first thing that happened to him after his birth was being abandoned...’

  ‘Since he can’t focus his eyes properly or control his hands, I doubt that the significance of that event has hit him just yet,’ Alice said drily.

  ‘Maybe not. But it’s only a matter of time.’ Liam took a large bite of his sandwich, as if trying to stop himself talking.

  Alice considered him across the table. This wasn’t just idle talk. This was personal for him, somehow.

  ‘Who abandoned you?’ she asked softly.

  Liam took another bite instead of answering.

  ‘Ever since we found him... This is personal for you, isn’t it? Because of your dad?’

  ‘My father,’ Liam corrected. ‘I never knew him well enough to call him Dad.’

  ‘Right.’ Alice trawled through her sleep-deprived brain to try to remember what she knew about Liam’s family. She knew that his father had never acknowledged that he was his son before he’d died. That had to impact on a person. And his mother... What had happened to his mother? ‘What about your mum?’

  ‘She died when I was ten.’

  ‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ Death wasn’t abandonment, she knew, but it could feel like it. She frowned. ‘Where did you go?’ He’d mentioned foster parents the night before, but in the middle of everything it hadn’t fully registered. And it didn’t answer the obvious question: Why hadn’t he gone to stay with Rose?

  ‘Does it matter?’ he said irritably, his usual cool evaporating for a moment.

  ‘You don’t have to—’ she started, but he interrupted her with a heavy sigh.

  ‘No. It’s fine.’ He shrugged. ‘It was all a long time ago. I stayed with some of my mum’s family for a while, over in Australia. But they couldn’t cope with me.’

  ‘You were a troublemaker?’

  ‘I was a nightmare.’

  She could imagine it easily enough. A guy didn’t get as rich and successful as young as Liam had unless he was willing to take risks. And that kind of risk-taking didn’t tend to manifest itself well in teenage boys, from her observations.

  ‘So where did you go then?’

  He looked down at Jamie. ‘Foster homes, mostly. Like I told you last night. I bounced around between a few of them and the care homes.’

  ‘Why didn’t you come to Thornwood? I’m sure Rose would—’

  ‘Yeah, well, maybe you didn’t know Rose as well as you think,’ he snapped, loud enough to draw a startled cry from Jamie.

  Alice dropped her sandwich to her plate and went to pick the baby up, glad of the excuse to turn her back on Liam’s anger. Even if it wasn’t really directed at her, just the sound of it made her nervous, and she didn’t need him seeing that.

  Behind her, he sighed, loud enough for her to hear. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset Jamie.’

  ‘He’s fine.’ And he was. Alice held him close against her body and remembered how special it had felt, every time he’d woken up in the night wanting her. She was sure it was the sort of feeling that wore off as the sleep deprivation increased, but for now it was magical. Especially since she wouldn’t be doing it for long.

  Sucking in a breath, she turned back to face him. ‘What happened with Rose?’

  CHAPTER NINE

  LIAM TIPPED HIS chair back on two legs and stared at his hands. What had happened with Rose? That was a question he’d asked himself a million times over the years. What had he done at ten years old that meant he wasn’t good enough for his great-aunt? And what had changed between then and now, to mean that she’d left him everything she held dear?

  Looking up, he met Alice’s eyes. She’d known Rose better than anyone at the end, he’d bet. Maybe she’d be able to explain it to him.

  ‘I was ten,’ he said, figuring it was easiest to just get it over with. She’d find out eventually. It might as well be him that told her. ‘I’d been kicked out of my uncle’s house in Brisbane, and the authorities were running out of places to put me. Someone figured out about my father’s family over here in the UK and got in touch with Rose, who was more or less all that was left of it by then. She agreed to meet me.’

  ‘You came to Thornwood?’

  ‘Briefly.’ Sighing, he let his chair drop back to all four legs again. ‘I pitched up here, freezing cold and miserable, and this creepy old guy answered the door—the butler. He looked down his long nose at me and... I knew this wasn’t the place for me.’

  ‘What did you do?’ From her tone, Liam knew she’d probably already guessed. Apparently he was getting predictable in his old age.

  ‘I acted up. I was rude, objectionable and did everything I could to make sure Rose wouldn’t take me in.’

  ‘And she didn’t.’

  ‘No, she didn’t.’ What he didn’t tell her, of course, was how much he’d wanted her to. How desperate he’d been for someone—even this old lady who was his only link to his father—to look past his act and see how much he needed her.

  Of course, she hadn’t.

  ‘She sent you back?’

  ‘Worse.’ Liam tried to stop the pain in his chest at the memory. ‘She looked down into my eyes, stared for a while, then stepped back and said, “Well, he’s a Howlett all right. Can’t mistake those eyes.” That was the first time anyone from my father’s family had ever officially acknowledged me.’

  ‘What was so bad about that?’

  ‘Because that got my hopes up.’ Just remembering that hope, that brief shining moment when he’d imagined the possibility of family again, made acid bur
n in his throat even now. He shrugged the memory away. He didn’t need that any more. ‘But the next day I got the message—she couldn’t take me in. So it was back to the foster system for me. It taught me a valuable lesson at least, I suppose.’

  ‘What lesson?’

  ‘That you can’t rely on anyone—especially not family.’

  He’d expected her to do as all his ex-girlfriends had when he’d expressed the sentiment—tell him he was a cynic, or try to convince him that he just hadn’t met the right person yet. But instead Alice gave him a small smile and said, ‘It took me twenty-four years to learn that one.’

  ‘A man?’

  ‘Yes.’ One of the tiny pieces that made up the puzzle of Alice Walters fell into place. He wanted to know more, but before he could formulate the right question she said, ‘That wasn’t the last time you saw Rose, though, was it? You said it had been fifteen years...’

  Of course she remembered that. Liam sighed. ‘She asked to meet with me in London, when I was working on a project there. Turned out she’d followed my progress, my life, from a distance.’

  ‘What did she want?’ Alice asked, eyes wide. She was probably hoping for more signs of the Rose she’d known, he imagined.

  ‘First, she wanted to offer me money,’ Liam said.

  ‘Nothing so bad about that.’

  ‘And then she wanted me to sign away any claim to Thornwood, or the family title.’ He could still feel the rage she’d awakened now. Sitting having polite conversation, sipping tea at the Ritz, and wanting nothing more than to tear down all that civility and history and privilege.

  That he hadn’t was a testament to the self-restraint he’d learned over the years. He made himself calm, relaxed, because he knew otherwise he’d hit out, hit back, cause trouble. And he wasn’t that boy any more.

  ‘What did you say?’ Alice asked, her face troubled.

  ‘I told her I didn’t need her money, and I sure as hell didn’t want her castle or her fancy title. And then I walked out.’ And straight into the nearest pub.

  Alice frowned. ‘But I don’t get it. Why did she leave you Thornwood in the end, then?’

  ‘Because her other great-nephew—the legitimate one—died in a car accident seven years later.’ Rose wasn’t the only one who could keep track of family. ‘Bet she was glad I hadn’t taken her money then, when I was the only one left.’

  ‘I think she changed, you know,’ Alice said softly. ‘The Rose I knew... I think she regretted the person she’d been in the past. She tried to make amends.’

  ‘By opening Thornwood up to anyone who needed it.’

  ‘By leaving you Thornwood.’

  Liam looked away. He didn’t want to think about that. Standing up, he began to clear the table. ‘Dr Helene will be here soon,’ he said. ‘Along with an astounding number of random women, I imagine.’

  ‘So we’d better get cleared up and ready for the day,’ she agreed, handing him Jamie. ‘Come on, then. Let’s see how long it takes us to get him dressed today.’

  * * *

  ‘Well, you all seem to have survived the night well enough.’ Was it Alice’s imagination, or was Helene smirking as she said that? The last thing she needed was her friend getting any ideas about her and Liam.

  ‘He wasn’t too difficult in the night,’ Alice said. Liam shot her an incredulous glance. She frowned. What exactly had he been doing with Jamie since he’d taken over, before he’d started breakfast? Whatever it was, it wasn’t sleep, not if the bags under his eyes were anything to judge by. ‘We took turns looking after him.’

  ‘And you did a great job.’ Helene looked up from her examination of Jamie. ‘He seems to be thriving.’

  ‘I take it the mother hasn’t spontaneously come forward overnight. Any luck tracking her down?’ Liam asked Iona, who was making her own notes.

  ‘None yet, I’m afraid.’ Iona shook her head sadly.

  Helene handed Jamie back to him and began packing up. ‘Basically, all the pregnant women who’ve been through my surgery lately are accounted for; I suspect she’s either from out of town or she’s been without prenatal care.’

  ‘It’s a miracle Jamie’s as healthy as he is,’ Alice murmured, watching Liam rock him gently.

  ‘Women have been having babies for thousands of years without modern medicine,’ Iona pointed out. ‘But, yes, we were all lucky that it must have been a straightforward pregnancy and birth.’

  ‘So now what do we do?’ Alice asked, trying to ignore the way her heart beat a little faster. Just because they hadn’t found Jamie’s mother didn’t change the fact that eventually he would have to go to a new family. However much she wanted to avoid thinking about that, she couldn’t afford to. She had to keep that knowledge front and centre—and keep her heart safe.

  ‘Give me another day or so,’ Iona said. ‘I want to check in with a few more places—colleagues, refuges. But if we haven’t found her by the end of next week...’

  ‘We’re going to have to call the police,’ Liam finished for her.

  ‘And start putting the proper procedures into motion, before everything gets more difficult over the Christmas holidays,’ Iona said.

  ‘So he’ll be taken into care.’ Was it Alice’s imagination, or did Liam hold Jamie a little closer as he said that?

  She didn’t blame him. Now she knew a little more about his background, and his own experiences of the foster system, she could understand him not wanting to put another child through that. He hadn’t spoken explicitly about the foster carers he’d had, but the fact he’d been passed around more than a few families spoke volumes.

  Liam had grown up unwanted, without a home. Of course he didn’t want that for Jamie.

  Alice wondered if he knew that, even if they protected Jamie from it now, it was perfectly possible to lose a family, a home, a future, as an adult.

  She’d been twenty-four before she’d realised how little others valued her as a human being. And twenty-eight before Rose had helped her find that value again.

  Now, she knew, she made a difference. She mattered.

  Just not in the way she’d always dreamt of. She’d never be a mother.

  Except for right now. These brief few days, this Christmas miracle of motherhood. That was all she had.

  And she intended to make the most of every second of it.

  On cue, Jamie started to fuss.

  ‘Let me take him,’ she said, holding out her arms to Liam. ‘He can feel your stress levels rising and it’s upsetting him.’

  Liam raised his eyebrows, but handed the baby over. Heather, meanwhile, scoffed. ‘Stress levels? I don’t think he has any. Didn’t you say he was the most infuriatingly laid-back man you’d ever met?’

  Alice blushed as her own words came back to haunt her. She didn’t want to explain to Heather that she knew better now—knew Liam better. In fact, she was beginning to suspect that his casual, laid-back nature was actually a deliberate shield or disguise against the rest of the world.

  If he didn’t let on that he cared about anything, then he couldn’t be hurt when no one cared about him.

  Alice identified with that more than she’d like to admit.

  ‘Well, since you’re all busy playing Weirdly Happy Families here, I suppose I’d better get on with running the place for the day,’ Heather said with a sigh. ‘I assume you have your hands too full to help,’ she said to Alice.

  ‘Literally, right now,’ Alice admitted. ‘But I’ll still be around; I can help out when he’s napping or whatever.’

  Heather snorted. ‘Yeah, good luck with that. You focus on what you’re doing. I’ll take care of everything else.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Alice said, and meant it.

  Thornwood Castle could manage without her for a couple of days. Right now, Jamie
couldn’t.

  And it felt strangely wonderful to be needed again.

  * * *

  Initially, Alice seemed relieved to say goodbye to Dr Helene, Iona and Heather and retreat to his rooms with Jamie. But as spacious as Rose’s suite was for one, for three it grew quite cramped quite quickly—especially when Jamie grew fussy after his feed and wouldn’t settle to sleep.

  ‘We should get out of here,’ Liam said.

  ‘Sure, where were you thinking?’ Alice asked casually. ‘Paris or Tokyo?’

  ‘I was thinking a walk. You could show me the estate. I’ve done some exploring but I’ve barely scratched the surface of it this week.’ Mostly because he’d been going through legal documents and figuring out how to get his castle back without actually being a monster. And getting to know the castle itself, of course. A building of such size could take years to know properly, and longer to find every hidden nook and cranny. ‘Besides, I’d like to see it through your eyes.’

  ‘What about Jamie? We still don’t have a pram for him, and it’s freezing out there.’

  Liam glanced out of the window; she was right. Never mind Jamie, the way the frost still sat on the fields around them told him definitively that he wasn’t in Oz any more.

  ‘The good doctor left us this.’ He reached into the bag Helene had handed him earlier and pulled out a tiny white snowsuit. It had a fluffy lining, integral gloves and feet, and ears on the top of its fur-lined hood. It was almost excruciatingly cute, and Liam was sure that almost every woman he’d ever met would have adored it.

  Alice, meanwhile, looked pained at the sight of it. He was never going to understand her.

  ‘Don’t suppose she left a pram?’ she asked.

  ‘We have the baby carrier Heather found, remember?’ The contraption looked like a rucksack that was missing its middle, but the illustration on the box suggested it would sit on his chest, with Jamie tucked against him. ‘I’ll carry him.’

  ‘Then I guess I’m out of objections,’ Alice said.