The Struggle

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  “Yeah,” I muttered, taking a drink of the water. “My sentiments exactly, but right now, I’m more concerned about . . . about Josie.”

  “We heard you went to the University to check on Josie and that’s how you found out.” Aiden moved, sitting on the arm of the chair. It was then I realized both were dressed as Sentinels—black tactical pants, black shirts. They could be killed, make deals, become demigods—but they were still Sentinels. “Deacon and Marcus called,” Aiden explained. “They told us that you were a god and that you’d had no idea Hyperion had gotten hold of Josie.”

  “I’ve been trying to sense her out, but I can’t.” When they both stared at me with blank cow eyes, I sighed. “It’s how I’m able to will myself from one place to the next. It’s what Apollo and the other gods do, how they pop in and out. You have to either know the place or the person, but I can’t feel her, or any of the Titans.”

  Aiden rubbed a hand across his chest. “We got Gable back to the University so he’d be safe. Deacon and Luke are going to try to locate the demigod in Thunder Bay. Then we headed here. Had a bit of difficulty finding you.”

  “I remembered you mentioning the whole Andros thing and my last name.” Alex tucked a strand of her hair back. “But we got here as soon as possible to tell you about Josie. When you left . . .” Alex trailed off.

  “You mean after I was rendered unconscious and you locked me in a panic room?” I finished for her.

  She looked unrepentant. “As if you don’t understand why we did that. We didn’t know what we were dealing with. We had no idea that you could become the God Killer or that you wouldn’t go all psycho on us. Hello! That’s how it’s worked in the past.”

  “Touché,” I murmured.

  “Josie was planning to come—”

  “I know,” I cut her off, disgusted with myself, with all of this. “I know what she was planning to do, and I know I shouldn’t have left. I thought, after I destroyed Atlas, they’d lie low for a while. That I would have time to find them and destroy them.”

  Alex cocked her head to the side, brows pinching together. “It wasn’t your fault, Seth.”

  I shook my head as I placed the water on the cabinet. “It was. I could’ve stopped Hyperion.” My hand clenched into a fist. “And I will kill him for this. All of them.”

  “Well,” Aiden drawled. “Supposedly we aren’t supposed to kill them. It has certain ramifications. Apollo was none too pleased about you taking out Atlas.”

  “I don’t give a single fuck,” I growled, my skin growing itchy with impatience. “And I give even less than a single fuck when it comes to Apollo.”

  Aiden wisely changed the subject. “So, what’s the plan? And before you even attempt to say you don’t need our help, you’re getting our help.”

  “Josie is one of ours,” Alex chimed in. “I don’t know her that well, obviously, but I like her and I want her to be safe and okay.” Her gaze searched mine. “We need to help.”

  I appreciated their willingness. “Not sure how you can help when I can’t do a damn thing. I keep searching for her, but I’m coming up empty.”

  “There’s got to be a way.” Aiden stood, widening his stance.

  Walking to the glass wall that overlooked the ocean, I pushed down the blossoming panic that screamed what if I never found her? I focused. “Apollo and Hercules couldn’t sense out the other missing demigods. Obviously wherever they are holding them is where they must have Josie.”

  “Okay. Then there has to be something,” Aiden repeated, silver eyes flashing. “Alex and I have been tossing this back and forth on the way over here.”

  “It was quite the trip,” she said dryly, and I knew there was a story there, but I didn’t care enough to ask them to elaborate. “So we had a lot of time to think about this.”

  More time than I had, since I’d been busy drinking myself stupid and then finally learning about what I’d become. Shame was my middle name.

  “The Titans need aether to regain their strength, correct?” Aiden stated. “Having two demigods and even Josie can’t be enough for six Titans—seven, up until you eradicated Atlas. That can’t be enough. So the next best thing would be pure-bloods.”

  Following where he was going with this, I swung around. “If we can find a cluster of missing pures, then we’d be closer to where the Titans are.”

  Alex nodded. “Unless they’ve been grabbing pures from multiple locations, then we’re back at the starting line, but we can hope they aren’t smart enough or they’ve grabbed more than the normal losses from one location.”

  “I’ve already made a few calls to some of the Guards I know who protect pure communities,” Aiden said. “I hope to hear something soon.”

  I should’ve been relieved that at least we’d have something to go off of, but every muscle in my body was tense, because what if . . . what if we were too late?

  What if I was too late?

  ~

  Night had fallen. I had no idea where Alex and Aiden were. The last I’d seen, they’d been transfixed by the priests and priestesses that they’d seen out by the temple after dinner. Now the house was quiet, as was the ocean. All I had were my thoughts, and they were full of Josie.

  I’d tried sensing her out like I’d been doing all day, over and over. It had only been a day since I’d realized Josie had been taken, but it felt like a damn eternity of not knowing what was happening to her, what she was going through.

  Smoothing a hand over my face, I squeezed my eyes shut. If we didn’t hear back from the Guards Aiden had contacted . . .

  “Seth?”

  Lowering my hand, I turned. Alex stepped out onto the balcony. She’d changed in to jeans and a loose T-shirt. For a minute, she looked like any normal mortal out there.

  “It’s beautiful here,” she said, her gaze bouncing from me to the dark ocean. “And you actually grew up in this?”

  I didn’t respond as she walked to the railing and turned her face up, closing her eyes to the sweetly scented breeze.

  “How are you hanging in there?” she asked.

  Smiling wryly, I leaned back against the warm sandstone wall. “I want to blow shit up.”

  She gave a soft laugh. “Understandable.” There was a pause and then she lowered her chin and opened her eyes. “You’re a god, Seth—and don’t say something stupid—but you’re an actual god.”

  “Bizarre, right?”

  Her eyes widened. “Really freaking bizarre. We were talking to, um, Basil—is that his name? Yeah. Basil. He seems really nice.”

  “He’s all right.”

  Glancing over her shoulder to the open archway, only a moment passed before she found my gaze again. “Can I just point out something to you?”

  “If I tell you no, is that going to make a difference?”

  A quick grin flashed across her face, and for a moment, I saw our past stretched out—I saw all the good and all the bad. I had been there for Alex when Caleb died, but I’d also tricked her many times. I’d used her to power up before she’d awakened. Yeah, my head had been a bit brainwashed, but that wasn’t an excuse. In the end, I’d come through for Alex—for Alex and Aiden, but that didn’t wash my hands clean.

  Sometimes I had a hard time believing that Alex was actually standing in front of me and not trying to throat-punch me.

  Alex’s gaze met mine. “You said you want to blow stuff up, but you’re not.”

  “I took out a tree earlier.”

  Her brows rose. “But the Seth I knew would be all over the place, blowing up more than a tree,” she said. “You look the same, but you’re a hell of a lot calmer.”

  I didn’t feel calm.

  “Being a god must have a weird . . . zen effect on you.” She paused. “So I’m going to ask you another question. Why did you leave?”

  My shoulders tensed.

  “I have to ask.” She reached up, twisting her hair into a rope, reminding me so much of what Josie did when she was nervous that I had to look
away for a moment. “I mean, obviously, you’re not out of control. You’re not running around, doing evil deeds.” Her nose wrinkled. “Like I’ve said, you’re actually calmer than I’ve ever seen you.”

  My jaw locked down.

  “And when you left, you didn’t hurt anyone. Yeah, you knocked out Gable and Luke, but you and I both know you could’ve done worse. We expected you to do worse.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  She ignored that. “But you left after you saw Josie. That right there is a sign that you’re okay. Well . . .” Her lips pursed. “Okay by your standards.”

  I shot her a droll look.

  “And I’m going to be honest. We had sent Herc to get Apollo to find a way to keep you caged. Josie was all about finding you and being there for you, and she fought for you. I mean—”

  “You don’t understand, Alex.” I pushed off the wall. “Or maybe if you think about it, you would understand. You of all people should understand.”

  She flinched. “Seth—”

  “When I came to, knowing that something was vastly different in me, feeling what I was feeling, I didn’t know what I was capable of. I left because I wanted to keep her safe, because I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt her.”

  She tipped her head back, meeting my glare. “But now? Once you get her back, what are you going to do then?”

  I stared at her a moment and then shook my head. I turned back to the ocean. “It’s late, Alex, and I suddenly find myself with a case of shut the fuck up.”

  “I really would like to punch you right now.”

  “Get in line,” I muttered.

  She was quiet for all of five seconds. “I’m sorry. I really am. What you’re going through? I can’t even imagine it.”

  Pressing my lips together, I said nothing, which worked out perfectly because when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Aiden standing in the archway.

  “Hey.” He walked up to Alex, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He drew her to his side. “Why don’t you head to bed? I’ll join you in a little bit.”

  Alex hesitated, because she rarely ever did what was asked or even suggested. So I nearly fell over when she said, “Okay.”

  Obviously I wasn’t the only one calmer now.

  After a quick kiss, Alex waved goodbye and slipped back into the archway. I saw that Basil was waiting in the wings and stepped out, immediately joining her. He was probably loving the fact that there were guests in the house.

  “We picked the bedroom on the third floor, the one that faces the ocean,” Aiden said, coming to join me by the railing. “Is that okay?”

  “Fine with me. There are only a thousand unused bedrooms in this place.”

  “This is the home you grew up in?”

  I nodded. “Until I was sent to the Covenant in England.”

  “You have a temple in the backyard then?”

  My lips kicked up on one side. “No. That appears to be a more recent addition.”

  He crossed his arms on the railing and leaned against it. “This is a nice place though.”

  Raising a brow, I wondered what the hell Aiden was doing out here. Things had changed between all of us. Yeah, I gave up my afterlife so he could have immortality. I obviously wasn’t gunning for Alex. We’d worked together a few times, but we did not like each other, and I knew that, deep down, Aiden hadn’t forgiven me for a lot of things. Couldn’t blame him for that. “Alex told me that you two wanted to keep me caged after what went down with Atlas.”

  “Do you blame us?”

  “Nah.” I watched him. “You have a reason for hanging around out here?”

  “Maybe.”

  “So why don’t you put your running shoes on and get to the point?”

  Aiden laughed under his breath, but the faint smile disappeared when he looked over at me. “I know what you’re going through right now.”

  “Do you really?”

  “Yeah, I do.” His gaze was unwavering. “When she was connected to you, it was like she was lost to me. A totally different person. That was tough to get through, but it wasn’t the worst. When she was stabbed and actually died in my arms and there was nothing I could do? I held her and watched her bleed all over me and the floor.”

  A muscle started tapping along my jaw again.

  “Then when Alex faced off with Ares at the University, and I could hear every single thing he was doing to her but I couldn’t get in there to help her? I never felt more—more fucking helpless in my life. Every part of me was full of rage, but the terror consumed me when I finally entered that room and she was gone, taken to Olympus to heal. I was held immobile by that terror. And I don’t think I need to explain how I felt when Alex died in your arms and I thought I’d never see her again.”

  I jerked a little.

  “So, yeah, I get what you’re feeling. I know that every second feels like an hour and every hour feels like a year. I get that you feel like you should be doing something, anything to get her back, but at the same time knowing there isn’t anything you can do.” He exhaled heavily as he straightened. “I still don’t like you.”

  I laughed at that.

  “But I don’t wish what you’re going through on anyone,” he added, turning toward me. “We’re going to get her back.”

  “I know.” And I would gladly burn down every city to get her back.

  Aiden clapped me on my shoulder. “As soon as I hear anything from the Guards, you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Thank you.” The two words were easier to speak than before.

  “Get some rest.” He stepped back. “Or at least try to.”

  I nodded, but as soon as he crossed the balcony, I closed my eyes and searched for Josie. There’d be no sleep tonight. Tomorrow . . . tomorrow I would need to feed, but that was something I didn’t want to really think about at the moment. The void opened up and I didn’t expect—holy shit! There! I felt Josie, felt her entire being, and I could catch the scent of pine and rich soil as if I was standing in the forest instead of by the ocean. I saw her imprint, and I knew I could latch onto it.

  “Aiden.” I spun, eyes wide. “I feel her.”

  “What?” He whipped around. “Josie?”

  “Yes. I feel her. Holy fuck, I feel her. She’s there.” It was like a burning light inside me, calling out to me. “I need to go.”

  “Wait.” Aiden hurried back. “Take me with you. You can do that, right? This could be a trap. You know that.”

  I supposed it could be. If it was a trap, I’d explode every single one of them, but I had to be smart about this. I could use Aiden. “If I get tied up fighting, you go to her. You get her out of there. Go anywhere. I’ll find you and bring you back here.”

  He gave a curt nod.

  Wrapping my hand around his forearm, I found the imprint of her again, and then willed myself to where she was, bringing Aiden along with me. It only took seconds to move from the balcony and discover that we were obviously on the other side of the world, under a canopy of thick elms that blocked daylight.

  “Holy hell,” Aiden grunted, stumbling back a step. “That doesn’t feel right.”

  I stepped forward, scanning the trees and ground as my heart thundered in my chest. Senses were firing off left and right. We weren’t alone. There was something very powerful here that wasn’t Josie. Approaching a moss-covered tree that had been snapped at the trunk and had fallen over, I scanned the area and kept all senses on high alert.

  My knees weakened, and fuck, I was about to eat dirt as I lurched forward.

  I saw her.

  I saw Josie.

  She was lying on her side, back to me. Her hair was a tangled mess and the entire back of her shirt was covered in dirt. She was still, too still.

  “Josie?” My voice broke, actually cracked when I said her name.

  No movement. Not even a twitch.

  Slamming a hand down on the fallen tree, I vaulted over it and landed in a crouch next to her. I plac
ed my hand on her arm. Her skin was cold to the touch. I started to say her name again, but I couldn’t find my voice.