The Struggle

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  I met his gaze. “We’re in this together, right? For real? No more making decisions that you think are for the best without coming to me. You won’t leave me again, because if you do, I don’t think I could forgive you for that. Not anymore.”

  “I’m not leaving you. We’re in this together, Josie.” His gaze searched mine. “If there is anything in this world, there is us.”

  Closing my eyes, I let out a soft sigh. So much was going on in my head. I hadn’t forgotten about Mitchell or what had happened to Lauren. I missed my mom and Erin, and when it was quiet, I thought about those long, terror-filled hours in that dark, dank room. My head was a mess.

  But having this—having the issues somewhat resolved between Seth and me cleared up some of the space in my head. A little of the tension eased from my muscles, and even though there were still so many problems, I had Seth.

  And Seth had me.

  He pulled me against him so our bodies were flush, and I could feel his arousal against my belly. “I missed you.” He curled one hand through my hair and he rested his chin atop my head. “I missed you when I was with you.”

  Looping my arms around his waist, I closed my eyes. “How did you miss me when I was with you?”

  He was silent for a moment. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, but I guess I wasn’t . . . I wasn’t entirely me, so there was a part of me that wasn’t actually there.”

  I lifted my head and stared into his eyes. “And you’re completely here now?”

  “I am.” His lips brushed my forehead. “For the first time in my life, I’m actually me.”

  ~

  We stayed out on the cliffs until my stomach rumbled so obnoxiously loud that people on the other side of the island could’ve heard it. Seth had laughed like it was the funniest thing ever, and while I debated hitting him again, he took my hand, leading me back inside.

  Seth and I stopped at the same exact time as we entered the kitchen. My first impression was that the room was ridiculously huge, with pale gray countertops and multiple islands. I had no idea why anyone would’ve needed a kitchen of this size unless they were hosting their own reality chef show, but it wasn’t so much the kitchen I was staring at.

  It was Alex and Aiden.

  They were in the middle of the room, near a multiple-burner stovetop. It looked like they had been in the process of making eggs to go with their bacon, but the eggs remained in a bowl, uncooked, whisked and frothy. It also appeared they’d forgotten everything except each other.

  Alex was sitting—barely—on the counter near the stove. Aiden’s hips were pressed between her thighs, and one of his hands was somewhere under the loose tank top Alex was wearing. She was grabbing the back of his head with one hand and the other had Aiden’s shirt balled, tugging it up. Their mouths and hips were practically fused together.

  Oh my.

  Heat invaded my face as I glanced up at Seth. His brows were raised. “I think they’re about to make a baby,” I whispered. “And maybe eggs.”

  Seth snickered as Aiden stiffened and then slid his hand out from under Alex’s shirt, dropping his palm to the smooth countertop. His forehead pressed against hers, and what I could see of Alex’s face was blood red.

  “I would like to be able to eat food out of this kitchen again,” Seth commented. “And actually use the counter to prepare food.”

  “Shut up,” Alex growled. “As if you know how to cook food.”

  Seth smirked as he swaggered forward, picking up the forgotten bowl. “I am quite the chef, among other things.” Passing a pointed look at Aiden, he leaned against the counter. “Unlike some.”

  Aiden turned his head, scowling. “Just because you’re a god doesn’t mean I won’t punch you.”

  “Just because you’re a guest in my house doesn’t mean I won’t drown you in the ocean.”

  “Oh dear,” I murmured, wide-eyed.

  Ignoring Seth’s threat, Aiden pushed back and looked at me as Alex hopped off the counter. “It’s good to see you up and moving around,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m good.” I inched into the kitchen. “Just a little tired.”

  “You look so much better,” Alex said, and it was probably a lie. She walked over to me and gave me a quick, tight hug. She drew back a few inches and whispered, “Is everything okay with you and Jackass over there?”

  “I can hear you,” Seth replied, dumping the eggs in a heated skillet.

  “I don’t care,” Alex sang back.

  “Yeah.” I nodded and smiled. “Everything is . . . It’s good.”

  Relief flickered through her warm brown eyes. “I’m happy to hear that.” Wrapping her arm around mine, she guided me toward the island with several high-back chairs surrounding it. “Believe it or not, we were making everyone breakfast.”

  “Sure looked like it.” Seth picked up a spatula.

  Aiden turned around with a sigh. “Would you like anything to drink, Josie?”

  I stopped. “I can get it.”

  “I’m closer,” he said, walking toward the fridge. He peered inside. “Well, the options appear to be limitless. What would you like?”

  “Um, orange juice?” I sat down.

  Alex climbed up on the seat next to me as Aiden searched down a glass. “We talked to Deacon and Luke last night. They’re relieved to hear you’re okay.”

  “I’m happy to know they’re safe at the Covenant,” I told her as Aiden placed a glass of OJ in front of me. “Thank you.”

  He nodded. “They’re not exactly safe. They left yesterday to search down the demigod in Canada.”

  My gaze darted to Seth. He was flipping the eggs, and it was more than weird to see him doing something so domestic any other time, but knowing that he was a god now made it all the more . . . fascinating to watch him fiddle at a stove. I imagined he could just whip up omelets out of thin air or something cool like that. “Will they be okay? The Titans are still searching for the other demigods.”

  “They’ll be as safe as any of us are.” Aiden rubbed at his brow. “I’d prefer that they’d stay at the University where at least there are wards, but Deacon isn’t . . .”

  “A kid anymore?” Seth finished for him. He raised a brow when Aiden frowned. “What? Deacon wants to help. And he has Luke. He’s not going to let anything happen to your brother.”

  Aiden snapped his mouth shut as he stared at Seth. “That was almost . . . reassuring. Are you feeling sick?”

  Seth rolled his eyes.

  I smiled a little and then took a sip of orange juice. My stomach twisted uncomfortably at the acidic burn. “Has anyone heard anything from . . . from Apollo or any of the gods?” A sharp pain lit up my chest at the mention of my father. What a dickhead. Seriously. “Before I was taken, I thought . . . I thought I saw furies in the sky.”

  “There weren’t any furies that I saw, and they are kind of hard to miss.” Alex propped her chin on her fist. “No gods, either. Not a damn thing, but that’s not really surprising. Whenever the world dons its crazy pants and gets ready to throw down, they all disappear.”

  Aiden was still staring at Seth with a mixture of wonder and confusion.

  “They probably won’t come anywhere near us.” Seth lifted his left hand and several plates flew from the cabinet, settling gently on the counter like something straight out of Beauty and the Beast.

  “Show off,” muttered Alex.

  He looked up through thick lashes and grinned in a way that replaced that dull ache in my chest. “The gods know what I am. They know I can end them. So they’re going to stay far, far away.”

  “And are you planning to do that?” Aiden dumped slices of bacon on each plate. “End the gods?”

  Seth shrugged a shoulder as he scooped up some eggs. “You know, I haven’t decided.”

  I raised a brow as I glanced down at the bacon. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but it also churned unsteadily.

  Seth’s gaze flickered to mine. “There are one or tw
o I really would like to straight-up murder.”

  Knowing he was talking about my father, I simply widened my eyes as I took another drink. The queasiness increased.

  “Well, maybe you should try to control your murderous impulses,” Aiden suggested. “You never know when the gods might actually be useful.”

  Seth snorted as he placed the last of the eggs on a plate. “That is just as likely as you actually being useful.”

  One side of Aiden’s lips kicked up. “You know, I think you have a crush on me.”

  Seth simply smiled in return, and it was a bit of a creepy, hide-your-kids kind of smile that actually reminded me of Apollo, and that really made it even more weird.

  “It’s like the Twilight Zone,” murmured Alex, her eyes big. “Watching them work together on anything, even when it’s just eggs and bacon.”

  I laughed under my breath.

  Aiden’s lopsided grin spread as he picked up two plates and brought them over to where Alex and I sat. In a few minutes, Seth was beside me and Aiden was next to Alex.

  “Supposedly I don’t have to eat food anymore.” Seth held up a piece of bacon. “But there is no way I’m going to stop eating bacon.”

  I stared at him. “Really? You don’t have to eat anymore?”

  Seth nodded as he bit down on the crispy slice.

  What the hell? I was a full-blown demigod and I still had to eat.

  “You’re a freak,” Alex said.

  Thrusting a fork full of eggs into my mouth, I decided it was best at the moment to not dwell on how different Seth was now.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes. The eggs were amazing, fluffy and buttery, and they seemed to settle my stomach down. I could eat an entire skillet of them, and bacon was always delicious as long as it was crispy and greasy.

  “So,” I said, clearing my throat. “What’s the plan?”

  Aiden frowned. “The plan?”

  “Yeah. What are we doing now? I’m here and I’m okay.” I’d forced the last word out, because I wasn’t sure how okay I truly was, but hey, I was alive. And it wasn’t like anything was going to wait around for me to get my shit together. “What are we going to do about Mitchell?”

  Aiden’s dark brows snapped together. “Mitchell?”

  “Yeah, the demigod that . . .” I trailed off, looking at Seth. “You haven’t told them, have you?”

  “Haven’t exactly had the time,” he replied, putting down his other slice of bacon. He continued before I had the chance to respond. “The plan is for you to stay here, to heal, and then after you heal, you’re going to continue to stay here.”

  Slowly lowering my fork, I raised my brows. “Nice of you to include me in this decision you’ve already made.”

  “You’re welcome. And just so you know, I’ve made a couple more decisions,” Seth tacked on, and I preemptively put the fork down before I turned it into a weapon. “You’re not doing the whole search-and-rescue mission. We have to figure out how to get those damn bands off your wrists. That’s the plan.”

  “Uh-oh,” whispered Alex.

  Aiden leaned forward, resting his arms on the counter. “Seth sort of has a point.”

  “Holy shit, someone record this,” Seth said.

  Aiden’s eyes narrowed, but he ignored Seth. “You need to get better, Josie. You need to heal.”

  “I get that, but what then?” I looked around me, my gaze settling on Alex before I twisted toward Seth. The sharp motion did not sit well with my stomach. I guessed the food hadn’t helped. “I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing for the rest of eternity. The Titans are still out there, and I wasn’t the only demigod Capri Sun they were keeping prisoner. They already killed one of the demigods, and if we don’t do something they’ll kill Mitchell. He’s still there.”

  Alex straightened. “You saw them?”

  Shooting Seth a look that promised we’d so be discussing this later, I focused on Alex. “Yes. One of them was named Lauren. She . . . she died. They drained her and left her to die.”

  “Gods,” Aiden muttered.

  I took a deep breath and ignored the rapid twisting my stomach was doing. “Mitchell was in bad shape. He’s not going to last much longer. We have to get him out of there.”

  Seth’s jaw locked down.

  “We’re not leaving him there to die.” I scowled at him. “Did you really think that I’d be okay with that?”

  Topaz eyes met mine. “No, I don’t expect that. I know you don’t want to hear this, but if he was in such bad condition, he may not be alive.”

  “We don’t know that,” I argued. “We can’t give up and not—” A bitter knot moved up my throat and I slapped my hand over my mouth. “Oh God.”

  “What?” Seth was immediately off his stool, standing in front of me.

  Alex and Aiden faded together into the background as my stomach heaved. I slid off the stool. “I . . . I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “Vomit sick?” Surprise filled Seth’s face.

  “Yeah—oh God.” I swallowed, and immediately regretted it. “Where’s a—?”

  Seth wrapped an arm around my waist, and it felt like only a second passed before I was inside a bathroom. Pulling away from Seth, I dropped to my knees and lifted the lid of the toilet.

  Stomach heaving, all those eggs and bacon came right back up. Gagging, I clutched the sides of the toilet. My eyes watered and it just kept coming and coming. Vaguely, I was aware of cool hands on my forehead, scooping my hair back.

  Finally, after what felt like an eternity in a fresh circle of hell, there was nothing left to throw up. “Oh God,” I moaned.

  “You all done?” Seth asked.

  I winced. “I think so?”

  Seth gently tugged me back from the toilet. I heard it flush and then I was cradled in his lap, my cheek resting on his shoulder as I concentrated on taking deep, even breaths. Several minutes passed as he rubbed the center of my back. Holy crap, I threw up. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had puked. When I was a child?

  There was a knock on the door and I heard Alex ask, “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” Seth called out. “Just give us a few moments.”

  “How are you feeling?” He smoothed my hair back off my clammy forehead.

  I forced my eyes open. “Better. Stomach’s a little . . . wonky.”

  “We need to get some water in you. Do you think you can handle that?”

  “I think so. Oh man.” I tipped my head back. “That was so, so gross.”

  Seth’s gaze found mine. Concern etched into his striking face. “Josie, you’re . . . you’re a demigod. You shouldn’t be sick.”

  I stared at him, unsure of how to respond to that, because I had obviously just gotten very, very sick. “Maybe I just ate too much after not eating a lot?”

  “I don’t know.” Seth didn’t sound like he thought that was the case. His gaze dropped, and I followed to see that he was looking at the bands on my wrists. “Maybe.”

  If the bands were blocking my abilities, could they be slowing down how quickly I could recover? Could they be making me sick? My poor stomach dipped.

  Could they be making me mortal?

  Chapter 22

  Once we exited the bathroom, the breakfast had sort of fallen apart. I kind of felt bad, because threatening to vomit all over the counter had probably killed their appetites. But once Seth got some water in me, I felt a hundred percent better.

  The bracelets around my wrists hadn’t tightened, but they felt like they were going to cut off my circulation. The feeling was all in my head, but what if they were making me mortal—susceptible to viruses and serious injuries? I was going to keep that suspicion to myself, because Seth would wrap me up in bubble wrap if that idea occurred to him.