by CoraLee June
XOXO,
Violet
I woke up to the sound of waves. A soft blanket was draped over my body, and my cheek was pressed to a cool pillow. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and took in the sight of the morning light bathing Kai’s home in golden rays. A full pot of coffee sat on the countertop. I ran my fingers over my neck and looked down at Kai’s oversized shirt on my body.
I didn’t plan on spending the night. It just sort of happened. I wished I could have slept longer. When I realized where I was, thoughts of last night assaulted me. The kiss. The lingering touch. The feel of his body against mine. More so than that, it was also the way he opened up to me. He’d told me about his family and revealed more about Violet’s murder. I had a lot to come to terms with.
I got dressed and folded the blanket I used, deciding not to indulge in the coffee Kai set out for me. I already knew he was probably outside on the waves. And when I went to stand on the sandy beach, I saw him cutting through the ocean on his board, expertly dancing across the thrashing water with skill.
I shamefully watched him, allowing myself to feel guilty about what had happened last night. I’d betrayed Violet in more ways than one. I kissed Chase, now Kai. I couldn’t even blame it on the debilitating grief, because in the moment, she wasn’t on my mind.
I felt sick to my stomach. I was disgusted with myself. I’d never been the type to flirt. To touch. To date. To kiss. To give in to my desires. If Violet were here, she would have slapped me. She wasn’t even cold in the ground, and I was kissing the boy she loved and lusting after her brother.
Round and round and round my mind raced as I watched Kai surf. He hadn’t noticed me yet, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him. He didn’t seem bothered by last night. Our kiss was full of passion. His touch ignited something within me I couldn’t even articulate.
But it was wrong. And if he didn’t feel bad about it, then I would feel bad about it enough for the both of us. Deciding not to wait for him to stop surfing, I started walking down the road toward the school. I set one foot in front of the other, letting my obsessive thoughts drive me forward.
“Violet, I’m fucking it up here,” I whispered to the air. We’d traveled down this road many times before. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear her giggling as she coasted down the long hill. “I’m so sorry. It’s pretty shitty, huh? All our lives, you’ve been telling me to go crazy for once. You’ve been shoving boys at me since I got my first training bra. And here I am, kissing your brother and Kai of all people.”
I imagined what she would say. She’d probably kick my ass for touching her man, and I would deserve it. She’d probably also kick Chase for touching me.
I realized that I had made it all the way to school when the sound of teenagers talking and laughing briefly stirred me out of my compulsive thoughts. I wished that I could go back in time to when Violet was still here and we were a part of the throng of normal teenagers worried about tests and boys.
I let my feet take me along the familiar route to my locker, last night and the events leading up to it still playing in my head. I could still smell the rotting garbage of the mobile home mixed with the sweet apple pie. I was twisting the lock and thinking about Lex’s scar when I heard Chase’s voice behind me.
“Are those the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?”
“Yes,” I answered, looking down at my outfit. I was surprised that he even noticed what I was wearing. I guess he wasn’t avoiding me quite as much as I thought.
“Why are you wearing the same clothes?” he growled, his nostrils flaring.
“I didn’t go home last night,” I told him.
“From the barbecue. You spent the night with Kai,” he said, anger brimming over in his voice.
“Yes,” I said defiantly, crossing my arms over my chest. We still hadn’t talked since I caught him with Celeste, and I was seething that he had the nerve to be upset about me not spending the night in my own bed.
Chase bared his teeth in rage at my confirmation of his suspicions and sent a fist straight into the locker next to mine with enough force to leave a dent. I stared at Chase in disbelief, my eyes wide and my body involuntarily trembling at his outburst. He was spiraling out of control, and for the first time, I was scared of him. Chase must have seen the fear on my face. He dropped his fist, and the anger drained from his body.
“Oh my God. Breeze, I’m so sorry,” he apologized, pleadingly. I couldn’t move or speak, my body still in shock. I just stared at him until he started talking again. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know where that came from. I would never hurt you. I was just so worried about you yesterday. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” he rambled desperately. For someone so worried about me, he didn’t bother to call or text. He didn’t check in yesterday before I left with Kai. It pissed me off that he got to pick and choose when his anger best suited him.
By this time, a crowd had gathered around us. People were staring and whispering. Those that didn’t see were asking their friends what happened, and others were taking pictures of the fist shaped dent in the locker.
I wanted his apology to feel genuine, but I couldn’t force myself not to tremble at his aggressiveness. I eyed the growing crowd again, and Chase turned around to yell at them. “This isn’t a fucking show. Go to class or something.”
Slowly, the students left, though some of them lingered, obviously curious what had Chase Jones so angry at me. I felt drained. Overwhelmed. My eyes were heavy with exhaustion. I wanted a shower and a good twenty-four hours to process everything that I’d learned about Violet.
“If you ever raise a fist to me again, I’ll leave, Chase,” I said calmly. “We’re both suffering. We’re both grieving. We’re both...broken. I might not be used to fighting my own battles, but Violet’s gone. I’m not going to stand here and let your temper tantrums intimidate me.”
Chase had the decency to look ashamed. His eyes were downcast as he absorbed every single word I calmly let spill from my lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I’m so sorry.”
“I love you, Chase,” I continued. His eyes snapped up to me, awe glimmering in his gaze. “I care about you, and I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to be scared of you. I want to work together and figure out what happened to Violet, but I can’t do that if you’re constantly pushing me away.”
Chase grabbed my hips and leaned closer, pressing his forehead against mine in the process. “You love me?” he asked. Of all the things I’d said, I was surprised that he clung to that statement most.
“Of course I do,” I replied. “We’re like family.”
Chase rested his forehead against mine. I breathed in his minty breath and the smell of his woodsy cologne on his skin. He dug his fingers into my hips and pressed his pelvis closer to mine. I knew people were watching. I knew people would have questions. “I love you too, Breezy Baby. It’s why I go crazy thinking about you with Kai. I just want you to be safe, okay?”
Chase grabbed my chin and forced me to look up at him. His soft lips were only a breath away. “I was safe,” I replied. Images of my kiss with Kai burned across my mind, but I refused to tell Chase about that.
“Good,” he replied before leaning down and kissing the line of my jaw. He pressed closer. His lips were hot on my skin.
“Chase, people are watching,” I whispered.
“Let them,” Chase replied before cupping my neck and searing his lips to mine. I wanted to give in. I wanted to part my mouth and moan at the firm stroke of his tongue. I wanted to thread my fingers through his hair. But the attraction felt dulled now. It felt pressured by peering eyes and his earlier anger. Not to mention, I was still feeling confused and angry about Celeste.
“Stop,” I whispered breathlessly while pushing against his chest. Chase frowned but obeyed.
We stood there awkwardly for a moment. The bell rang, but our feet were cemented to the tiled floor. I was locked in his hard stare, feeling guilty but fir
m at the same time. “We’re supposed to get the rest of the autopsy report this afternoon. Come over. We can talk about what happened with Kai,” Chase demanded. I noticed that there was no question layered in his statement.
“Okay,” I replied. I didn’t want him to have to go through that alone, and his parents were still gone, grieving somewhere that didn’t remind them of their dead daughter.
Chase pressed me against the locker again. “And it might not be today, or even tomorrow, but this,” Chase began while gesturing between us with his index finger, “is far from over, Breezy Baby.”
We sat in Chase’s beautifully decorated living room. His mom had impeccable taste. All of the furniture was oriented toward the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the ocean. The stunning view of the beach made the all-white decor feel inviting instead of sterile. There were a few accents of grays and dusty blues that gave the room some color, but the focus was definitely the water.
Chase brought in a couple of Cokes and a few different snacks. I grabbed a drink and a mini bagel. I started spreading the cream cheese when it dawned on me that I never asked Chase how he was getting by on his own. It hit me that Celeste had dropped by with lunch for him, and I hadn’t even bothered to ask how he was doing.
“Chase, how long have your parents been gone? Are you eating good meals and doing your laundry?” I asked, feeling embarrassed that I hadn’t asked before now.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Mom has our housekeeper coming every day, and she hired someone to make a bunch of food and freeze it for me. All I have to do is heat it up.” He shrugged. Chase acted like this was a completely normal thing to say, that having a small team of people taking care of him instead of his parents while he grieved his twin sister was perfectly okay. My heart ached for him, and I saw him again as the little boy who would make sandcastles on the beach with me.
“You can always come over for dinner at my house, Chase. And you know you can sleep over whenever. My mom wasn’t just saying that. You have a lot of people that care about you,” I assured him. I hated the idea of him being here in this big house all by himself.
“I know that. Some nights, it’s hard to be here. Some nights, it helps me feel closer to her.” I understood that. Sometimes I wanted to run up to Violet’s bedroom and cry in her bed, breathe in the coconut smell of her shampoo. “So, what happened yesterday at the barbecue?” he asked with an awkward cough, trying not to sound too eager and failing.
“Did you know that Violet used to go up there with Kai?” I answered his question with my own.
He looked a little surprised but recovered quickly. “No, but she really didn’t talk to me much about Kai. She knew I didn’t like him, so we just didn’t talk about it.”
“That’s so strange, she didn’t tell me either. I wonder why she kept it from us,” I mused. “Kai’s family was...intense.”
“What does that mean?”
“Lex seemed really interested in me. And Violet. He wanted to know how well I knew her.”
“What did you say?” he asked, leaning toward me.
“I lied. I told him that we used to be close but weren’t anymore. He really freaked me out.” Chase looked murderous, and I quickly amended that statement. “But I stayed close to Kai. He seemed to not trust his family either. He kept me safe.”
That apparently was the wrong thing to say, because Chase’s scowl dipped even further. “What else happened?”
I thought about what Kai had told me. There was something going on with Lex and Violet. Kai had caught them talking to one another, and suddenly the hotel room key in Violet’s shorts made doubt settle in my stomach like a heavy block of cement. “Kai mentioned that he caught Lex and Violet talking a lot. She also went to Lex’s house without Kai once. There was a hotel keycard in a pair of shorts she borrowed from me. You don’t think Violet was…”
I didn’t even want to articulate it. Violet was a free spirit. She had one of those hearts that poured love into anyone she met. She was beautiful, likeable. Hell, she was flirty even when she didn’t try to be.
“What hotel?”
“Sandals Resort. Why would she go there?”
Chase chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Let me look into it, okay? You’ve done a lot. Thank you. Let’s not jump to any conclusions until I can check things out.”
I didn’t want to think that Violet was hooking up with Lex, but there was definitely something there. Doubting Violet made me feel sick to my stomach. Chase patted my thigh, perceptive to my inner turmoil. “You okay?”
“I just feel bad for Kai. What if Violet was cheating?”
Chase pulled his hand back and stroked his jaw before turning his attention outside. He stared at the crashing waves before responding. “I guess it would give him more motive then, huh?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. Just as I was about to defend Kai, a knock on the door startled me.
“That’s the detectives,” Chase answered before getting up to answer the door. It felt wrong having this meeting without Chase’s parents present. I was sure if they didn’t have an ironclad alibi of being in Los Angeles, the police would be looking into them for being so heartless and leaving right after Violet’s death.
Two men followed Chase into the living room, and I turned to look at them. One, I recognized. Detective Rodriguez was a tall, handsome man. He had piercing black eyes and long lashes that cast shadows on his cheeks. He had worn the same suit every time I’d seen him, and his clipped accent was both soothing and harsh. The other man standing with him was new. He looked more relaxed, with a wrinkled shirt, cargo pants, and scuffed shoes.
“Miss Shirley, I’m not surprised to see you here. I’m glad Chase isn’t alone for this. We’ve already emailed the report to Mr. and Mrs. Jones,” Detective Rodriguez said with a forced smile.
I didn’t like where this was going. The second detective, who identified himself as Detective Brown, started reviewing the file. His words floated right through me; I couldn’t process the biological terms he was using to describe someone I loved so much.
His voice droned on for an eternity until one simple word demanded my attention. One word that crashed all around me like waves during a hurricane. One word that had me doubting all over again how close Violet and I really were. Fetus.
Violet was pregnant.
Detective Brown kept reading the report in his easy monotone manner. He didn’t notice the identical looks of shock on both Chase’s face and my own. He talked about how the purple spots in Violet’s eyes and the trauma to her hyoid bone were evidence of strangulation. His demeanor was of a man stating the weather, not one who had just dropped a bombshell.
Detective Rodriguez held up his hand to silence Brown and looked back and forth between Chase and me. Rodriguez clarified, more for Brown’s benefit than anyone else’s, “Neither of you knew she was pregnant.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice coming out in a whisper. Chase was still too stunned to say anything.
“Yes,” Brown answered. “Normally the medical examiner wouldn’t have even looked. But since the body had been disarticulated by the wildlife, all of the organs recovered were examined individually. Based on fetal development, she was very early on in the pregnancy, between seven to ten weeks along. She may have only just found out herself before her death.”
“We are running the fetal tissue for DNA, but unfortunately, forensic labs are backed up. It will take at least six weeks to get the results back,” Rodriguez said gently. It was clear that he was seasoned in delivering horrific news to families, in stark contrast to Brown’s blunt and matter-of-fact style.
He leaned forward and put a reassuring hand on Chase’s shoulder and looked him in the eye, “The fetal DNA might be a direct link to her killer. We are going to find who did this to your sister and her baby.”
Chase nodded, but his eyes were vacant, like he couldn’t actually process any of this. I reached out and patted his k
nee. “Thank you, detective,” I said softly.
Detective Rodriguez nodded. “We’ll be talking to Kai Lewis, also. Until we get the DNA back, we won’t know for sure, but since they were romantically involved, we need to inform him about the baby. Do you have any reason to believe that Kai knew she was pregnant?”
Chase looked at me, waiting for my answer. “Kai hasn’t mentioned it. Violet was drinking heavily the night of the party. Maybe she didn’t even know,” I replied.
“Or she knew and didn’t care,” Brown interjected before pinning his lips shut. I glared at him. Heartless bastard.
“I know my best friend. She wanted a big family. We might be young, but if Violet knew she was pregnant, she would have taken that very seriously. She wouldn’t have been drinking, and she would have told me. We told each other everything,” I said out loud to the detective before thinking to myself, or at least I thought we did.
Detective Rodriguez looked at the ground before staring at me. “I took the liberty of calling a few doctors’ offices in the area to see if she had set up any prenatal appointments. Turns out, she made an appointment at the local women’s clinic for an abortion. The appointment was for a few days after her birthday, I’m guessing because you need to be eighteen to have the procedure done without parental consent. Violet Jones knew she was pregnant. Now we just need to know who else knew, and if they weren’t happy about the news.”
“What are you suggesting?” I asked.
“I’m just saying, there might be another player in this. Kai was our initial suspect, but there could be someone else. We are going to thoroughly examine every lead.”
I swallowed. Lex. Oh my God, what if this was Lex’s baby? What if that’s why Violet wanted an abortion? I debated on telling the police this information. What if Kai found out and was mad? What if Kai was so mad he…
I looked over at Chase, who was turning pale. I wasn’t sure how much more of this conversation he could take. “I’ll just walk you out,” I said while standing up. Both detectives nodded, and we headed to the door.