by Naomi Niles
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, before pulling me in for yet another kiss.
There was no way I could resist that–even if I’d wanted to, which I really, really didn’t.
He quickly began tugging at my dress, trying desperately to get it over my head. There was no resistance from me; I wanted it all gone. I could feel the sun beating down on the parts of my skin that were already exposed, and I wanted that for all of it.
All of our clothing suddenly felt weighty and annoying, and I needed us both to be naked. It didn’t matter that rest of the world could see us if they wanted to, it felt like we were a team and that was all that mattered.
His kisses rained down over my neck and chest as he slid my bikini top off, giving him better access for his lips to find my nipples. Once he was there, he kissed and licked, sending bolts of desire racing right down into my bikini bottoms. A loud moan escaped my lips, and I felt him everywhere, all over me, and I never wanted this moment to end.
As the t-shirt he was wearing flew off over his head, I allowed my fingers to explore the sculpted torso that lay beneath. It was an odd sensation to be back here–strange and familiar, wrong and right–it made all of the sensations that Rhett was giving me that much more intense.
I slipped my fingers under his shorts and into the waistband of his boxers, feeling my heart thumping against my chest. I was never normally this forward when it came to my sexuality; I was normally more timid, shyer.
With Rhett though, things were different.
Better. More intense. I felt like I could really let go around him.
I wrapped my fingers around his length, enjoying the feeling of his thick, rock hard erection that I knew was just for me. He gasped out in pleasure as I started to move my hand around him. I experimented with thrusts to see what worked best for him before settling into a comfortable rhythm. His arms trembled above me as he struggled to hold himself up, but I just kept on going, enjoying watching him fall apart.
“Oh fuck, Danica,” he gasped loudly, really starting to buckle with desire. “You’re amazing. I… I need you.”
There it was. The chance to have him again.
It was difficult to think straight with all of this desire coursing through me, but I tried to do so all the same. Just in case. I needed to take a moment before all of this went too far. If we did this, it would change everything. There was a lot at risk.
Then again, everything was already being risked with the secret baby that was sitting in my stomach. What did one more fool around matter? Especially when it felt so good.
“I need you, too,” I whispered into his ear, excited that she was finally giving in to the temptation that she’d been craving so badly.
As if it took all his strength, he lifted himself up enough to tug my bikini bottoms down and he started to tease me with his fingers. His touch was expert, as if he already knew my body better than I did. It reminded me of the first time that we were together in the best way possible. I arched my back and moaned in pleasure underneath him, losing myself in all that he was doing to me.
“You feel amazing,” he gasped. “I’ve missed you so much.”
And with that, I felt him move his fingers out of the way, and his cock started to tease my entrance once more. It was as if he was giving me the opportunity to change my mind, but I definitely wasn’t going to. Not now. So I wrapped my hands around his back and drove him deep into me.
“Oh God,” I cried out. He felt so good, even better than I remembered. Our bodies melded together as if we were meant to be. There was no way that this could be wrong, when it felt so damn perfect.
He was moving powerfully above me, showing me every inch of his muscular body as he did, and it was perfect. We were both vulnerable, exposed, and everything about that was amazing. It made it feel a million times better.
After only a few more thrusts, a pool of heated pleasure started to form in my stomach, as if it had just been waiting there for him to arrive once more. It began small, but soon began to pulsate in waves, crashing right through me, until I was falling, crumbling underneath him. It came on so quickly, so intensely, that I almost didn’t know what to do with myself, but that didn’t matter because Rhett was there to kiss me, to hold me, to make me feel special and loved.
Loved.
I’d had orgasms before, but never quite like this, and it was making me think things that were even more appropriate. I couldn’t love Rhett when I wasn’t even supposed to like him. It was all too much, too intense.
As the pleasure raced through Rhett’s body, I watched him intently, wondering if he was feeling anything of the same, and in the heat of the moment, I really felt like he might, which made me far happier than it should. But then as we lay there, panting next to each other, I watched his face change, and a harder expression overtook.
“What do we do now?” I asked, unable to just allow that to happen without saying anything.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head, looking sadder than I’d ever seen.
To stop the tears from spilling down my face, I grabbed my clothes and threw them on my body, trying to focus on the task at hand.
“Come on,” I said, pointedly avoiding his eye contact all over again. “Let’s just go home.”
How the hell had I gone from on top of the world, to back under the rock that was leaning heavily on my shoulders all over again?
What a God damn mess!
Chapter 20
Rhett
The drive back from Delaware was long and painful. I knew that I’d upset Danica with my odd attitude, but I couldn’t seem to reel it in, even when I was aware that I was screwing everything up. I’d totally fucked up one of the nicest days that I’d ever had in my entire life, and there was nothing I could do about it. Luckily, she kept drifting in and out of sleep, which made it slightly easier, but only the smallest amount. The tension didn’t ebb away, even as she snored.
The sex had been surprising–a nice shock, but unexpected all the same–and the reality of that decision had hit as soon as we were done. Although it hadn't been planned, and it had been utterly amazing, I couldn’t stop the guilt that instantly flooded through me, once the fog of lust had descended.
“You’re just like your old man, you.”
As soon as we’d given in to temptation, my dad’s words returned to my mind with a vengeance. Only this time, I began to fear that he was right. Before, when Danica and I had slept together, we hadn't realized what we were. Now we knew, and I’d still done it. I’d still gone through with it, fully knowing that it was wrong.
All my big-man thoughts from before this day about not caring about my dad and Lyla, and wanting to pursue Danica anyway vanished. What replaced it was a scared little boy who didn’t know what was going to happen next. It was as if I’d sobered up, and left a whole big mess behind me.
I felt like I was wrong about everything.
If Mom was convinced that Dad could change, then maybe I should have given him the chance. I came here determined to not even give him the time of day, and that wasn’t really the smart, adult choice to make. I should have behaved in a much more mature manner, and I was only just realizing that much now. I started to doubt everything about myself, and I started to believe that the only one who was wrong about anything was me.
I wasn’t sure what was messing with my mind the most–the fact that Danica and I really should have stayed away from one another, or the fact that I could be on the way to becoming the man that I hated the most in the whole world.
It was just a terrible situation; I’d really gotten myself in to one hell of a mess and I wasn’t sure what the solution was.
As soon as I pulled up into the driveway of my dad’s home, Danica grabbed her belongings and stomped out of the car, slamming the door behind her. As I watched her walk into the house without even speaking one word to me, I knew that I’d royally screwed things up once and for all. I wasn’t sure that she’d ever be able to understand my di
ckish behavior–especially when I didn’t understand it myself–so I couldn’t even explain it to her.
What sort of woman would want to know me after being that way when we’d just had sex? No one. There was no one.
You fucking idiot, I thought to myself. What the hell have you done now?
I slumped my head onto the steering wheel, feeling like the whole world was collapsing in on me. I needed an escape. I had to get out before I did any more damage, so I did the only thing that I could. I picked up my phone, and I called my mom.
“Hello?” She answered after only one ring. “Rhett, are you okay?” The fear that she had in her voice made it very difficult not to just fall apart. I no longer had any idea what I was doing, and I really needed to run away from it all. For the first time in my entire life, I actually wanted to take the coward’s way out.
“Mom?” I croaked. “I am just calling to let you know that I’m coming home.”
“What? Why? What’s happened?” There was a cynicism in her voice that suggested she had been waiting for this phone call. But of course, the reason behind it would be the last thing she was expecting.
“I just… I can’t take it anymore,” I hoped that being evasive would put her off from asking too many questions. “It’s awful here. I hate it.”
“Look,” she had her diplomatic tone of voice on, which meant bad news for me. It meant that she was going to try and win me around somehow. “The wedding isn’t far off now. You don’t have to be there for much longer.”
“But, Mom,” I tried, but she was having none of it.
“You need to do this to prove to him that you’re the bigger man. He’s probably expecting you to quit, to run away.” How did I tell her now that Dad wasn’t the real problem? That I was the issue here? “You’ll be home soon enough, safe in the knowledge that despite everything, you’re a decent young man who puts his family first.”
“Mhmm…” I replied, half-heartedly. There was no way that I could tell her the truth after that impassioned speech. She would go mental after telling me that I was a good guy–the total opposite to how I’d just behaved. “Okay,” I eventually finished meekly, hating myself for being such a liar.
“So, I’ll see you in a few days.” She was already wrapping up the conversation, safe in the knowledge that she had me backed into a corner. The worst thing was that she was right. I had no argument to give her; I was going to have to stay no matter what I wanted.
I just didn’t know how the hell I was supposed to face Danica ever again. How could I face the girl I was falling for, knowing that she hated me?
“Bye, Mom, see you soon. Love you,” I sighed dejectedly.
“Love you.”
Then she was gone, and I was alone, with nothing left to do but face the music.
I stepped out of the car, and walked slowly towards the house, whishing that I’d argued, or that I had the courage to go home anyway, but for now, I was tied here. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go with things so up in the air anyway. It didn’t seem right. I might have been acting cowardly, but I wasn’t entirely convinced that I would have actually been able to follow it through.
As soon as I walked through the door, I spotted my dad and Lyla sitting at the kitchen table at the end of the hallway. They saw me right away and did their best to get my attention. Perfect, I couldn’t even wallow in misery in peace.
“Hi, Rhett,” Lyla called from where she was sitting. “Are you okay?” Her tone was too bright and breezy for someone who was annoyed at me, so clearly she hadn't seen her daughter yet. How the hell did Danica manage to sneak in without getting the third degree? “Did you have a good day?”
“Erm, yes, thanks,” I lied, trying to ignore the satisfied smirk that my father was shooting me. He looked like he could see right through me, and that he knew exactly what I’d done, and in his mind, I’d proven him right.
I hated myself even more. I didn’t think that it was possible to feel this much disgust at my actions.
“You’re just like your old man, you.”
I hated that he could get so far under my skin after everything he’d done to me. He hadn't even been around and he’d managed to shape me. If only he wasn’t in my head, I wouldn’t have been such a shit to Danica. If he’d just either been in my life, or left me well alone, then none of this would have happened.
“I’m a bit tired, though,” I finished, wanting to wrap up this conversation without any difficult questions. “So, I’m going to head to bed.”
“All right, goodnight!” Lyla called with that warm smile on her face.
“Yes, son, sleep well.” Just hearing my dad speak to me in that self-satisfied tone drove me crazy. I had to pump my fists by my side, and literally force myself to walk away to stop myself from doing something stupid. I felt like he wanted a reaction from me, and I really needed not to give him one. Especially not when he was right.
As I slumped up the stairs, passing Danica’s bedroom door, I fought the urge to knock on it and to see her. I feared that I would just make things even worse than they already were, which was the absolute last thing that I wanted. I seemed to be a hurricane, causing destruction everywhere that I went, and I really wanted to put a stop to that. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain than I already had.
I needed to lock myself in my own room, away from the rest of the world, so I couldn’t upset anyone else.
I lay down on my bed with my head in my hands, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I was so desperate to not be like my dickhead father that I’d somehow become him anyway. How was that even possible? How the hell did that even happen?
Danica didn’t deserve me like that–she didn’t deserve any of it. In fact, I knew for sure that she could do so much better than me.
If I weren’t in the picture, then she’d be free to fall in love with someone who didn’t contain the dreaded Fronton DNA. She could find someone that didn’t have all of the complications that I offered, that she could fall in love with, without tearing her entire family apart. She could find the person that she was actually supposed to be with, rather than embroiled with someone who could never offer her a future.
There was only one thing for it–I was going to have to back off. Rather than apologizing for my idiotic behavior, I was going to have to embrace it, to allow Danica to hate me so that she could get over our thing that much quicker.
I wouldn’t do anything horrible, I didn’t want to really hurt her, but I would back off for sure. I would stop interacting with her as much as possible, and just get through this until I could leave her alone forever.
She was the one who had originally started the whole not talking to me anyway, and maybe she had the right idea. Maybe I should have just gone with that in the first place and saved myself a whole load of trouble.
I would just get through this shit storm of a wedding, then I would go home and forget about any of this: the wedding, my father, and Danica. I would forget about all of them and I would go back to the life I was always going to lead before any of them came into my life.
There, decision made. Easy-peasy.
Of course, I knew that it wasn’t going to be simple–in fact, it was going to be one of the biggest challenges that I’d ever had to face, but I would do it.
I had to.
For Danica.
It was the least she deserved.
I would be at college soon anyway, starting the life that I’d always wanted, so if I just focused on that future rather than the endless distractions that threatened to sidetrack me, then everything would be fine.
It sure as hell didn’t feel like it at the moment, but I was certain that in the end, all would be okay and I would congratulate myself for making the right decision.
Chapter 21
Danica
As I lay in my bed, my mind was buzzing with a wide range of emotions, meaning that it was very unlikely I’d get any sleep. I felt guilty for giving into temptation yet again, oddly excited
by how much fun it had been, and full of rage for how things had turned out in the end. It was extremely confusing, and I wasn’t entirely sure which emotion was more powerful.
It was clear that Rhett felt bad for having sex with me knowing that we were about to become stepbrother and sister, but why didn’t he just talk to me about it? Why did he shut down and give me the cold shoulder, instead? It was so annoying, and it would end up killing us before we could even get started.
If we could get started…
Did I even really want us to get started?
Oh God, my head was a mess.
On the one hand, I really wanted to be with Rhett, I wanted to give us a go. I wanted to just be able to tell him about the baby and have his input on what happened next. No one had ever made me feel as special and amazing as he did, and I didn’t think that they ever would. It felt like he was literally perfect for me, and if our situation had been different, it was likely that we would already be together.
But on the other, it was going to be far too complex for it to just happen. It was wrong, and I really could do with remembering that. It would cause our family to implode from the inside out, probably ruining all of our relationships.
There was only one thing for it; I was going to have to get him alone to sort things out. A big part of me was tempted to creep into his room tonight, to air out all of our problems–well, almost all of them, as I certainly wasn’t ready to bring up the unborn baby yet–and then to have a snuggle under the sheets, but in the end, I thought better of it. I didn’t want to risk getting caught, and I also wasn’t sure if Rhett needed some alone time.
I didn’t want to blow things already. If he needed space, then I would give him space. I could do that.
So I slid under my own bed sheets, with only his face on my mind. Tomorrow, I would speak to him, and I would make everything better. No matter what.
***