by Jade Winters
Harper caught a cab outside the hotel to take her to the pub where she’d arranged to meet her mother. Up until that moment, Harper hadn’t given much thought to what she’d say or how she’d feel when she saw her. Now the time was almost upon her, it was unavoidable. Should she shake her hand or, like normal daughters would, embrace her? We’ve hardly got a normal mother-daughter relationship though. Bringing Dylan along was a great idea, she was an emotional safety net Harper direly needed. The past couple of weeks had flown by and they had seen each other, discretely, nearly every day. All in all, everything was well in their little paradise, apart from the fact that Dylan shied away when ever Harper spoke of the future. It wasn’t as if Harper wanted to snare Dylan. She just wanted to know where she stood. For now she would let things lie as they were, but she couldn't avoid it forever.
An odd mixture of feelings swirled within her as the cab crept forward in the dense traffic. As the buildings passed her moving car, some still standing exactly as they had years ago, some demolished and replaced by new structures, she felt a sweet nostalgia for the familiarity of Dorchester. It was good to be back as an older, wiser woman, and to know that she had a nice, secure life to return to whenever she wished. It was as she drew closer to the pub that Harper thought more and more about her flat in London which served as an anchor, as a beacon for her whilst she went deeper into the doldrums of her childhood. It was as if her current life was an older sibling holding her hand so that her old life’s ocean current would not sweep her off into the dangerous deep.
Her thoughts turned to Ted, she was relieved his funeral had already taken place. Briefly, she heard his condescending remarks about her sexuality and choice of friends echo through her tainted memories, those few shards that somehow survived the virtually successful obliteration of everything that she had experienced as a young girl.
The cab pulled up outside The Inn pub. Harper paid the fare and stepped out into the cool afternoon breeze. Her elongated reflection in the car window looked powerful and very well groomed, her hair pulled back in a ponytail was the perfect style to accentuate her high cheekbones and striking grey-green eyes. In a black leather jacket and designer jeans, she strode gracefully toward the entrance. Harper slung her tan leather bag’s belt across her chest, and let it flop about her right hip as she cast her eyes up at the sky.
Overhead, the flattened clouds floated in like the baby waves of the tide that crept over the wet sand, until the whole sky was covered by a dark grey dome of fleece. Harper pushed the door open. Inside, the bar was relatively busy with couples having lunch. MTV played on a large TV screen.
As Harper scanned the room for her mum, her stomach churned with anxiety. She seriously contemplated calling Dylan to pick her up so she could get the hell out of Dorchester and this whole situation, but the familiar sound of her mother’s voice behind her prevented that from happening.
‘Harper?’ June said. ‘You came!’ She slammed two hands over her mouth in astonished emotion and pinched her eyes shut.
Harper was at a loss what to do. She stepped forward, her hand hovering awkwardly above June’s shoulder. ‘Please don’t cry.’
‘I’m sorry,’ June said, blinking back the tears welling in her eyes. ‘I just can’t believe you’re here.’
Neither can I. ‘Do you want to sit down or go for a walk?’ Harper asked, inspecting her mother’s features. She looked tired, crushed and … defeated. Life had certainly taken its toll.
June touched her stomach. ‘Best we stay here, if you don’t mind.’
‘Of course not. You grab some seats, and I’ll get us a drink.
‘Okay, thank you,’ June said, her eyes still glued to Harper’s face in disbelief.
Harper turned and walked towards the bar, glancing back briefly to see her mum shuffling towards the nearest table. Though she was only in her sixties, she had the gait of someone much older. Her mother looked so helpless. Harper swallowed down a lump forming in her throat. Don’t start getting sentimental, she warned herself.
A redheaded woman wiping the bar looked up as Harper approached. Her eyes widened.
‘Oh, my God—oh, my God, Harper is that you?’
Harper’s hand flew to her mouth. She’d been so caught up with her mother, she’d failed to realise the woman standing behind the bar was her old school mate. ‘Beanie?’
‘The one and only,’ she said running around the bar. Swooping Harper into her arms, she hugged her. Harper squeezed her back tightly. ‘It’s so good to see you, Beanie.’
‘I know, it’s been an age.’
Harper drew back slightly. ‘Let me have a look at you. You haven’t changed a bit.’
‘Yeah, course I haven’t. I look like shit.’ She tapped her stomach. ‘Having four kids will do that to ya.’
‘Four! Weren’t you the one who swore blind she’d never have kids?’
Beanie laughed. ‘Yeah, I know, but if you saw my hubby, you’d understand why.’
Harper joined in with her laughter.
‘So what brings you back here?’ Beanie asked.
Harper glanced over her shoulder in her mother’s direction. ‘My mum. Ted died.’
‘Yeah, I heard. No great loss to humanity though is it? Everyone tried to get your mum away from him, but she’d never leave, no matter how many times he put her in hospital with broken bones.’
Harper stood there, blank, shocked and badly shaken. ‘What?’
Beanie’s cheeks turned scarlet. ‘Oh. Didn’t you know?’
Harper felt bile rise to the top of her throat. ‘He was hitting my mum?’
Beanie nodded. ‘For years.’
Harper glanced towards her mother, sat leaning on a table. Is that why her spirit was broken?
Harper let out a long, audible breath. ‘I didn’t know,’ she said more to herself than Beanie.
‘Can we get some service here, like today?’ An irate customer called out from behind them.
Beanie cast the man an evil glare. ‘Keep your bloody hair on,’ she said before turning back to Harper. ‘How long you back for?’
‘Just today.’
‘Too bad. Make sure you give me your number before you leave.’
‘I will do.’
Beanie leant in for another hug. ‘What you both drinking?’
‘Tea please.’
Beanie grinned. ‘Not like the old days then? I’ll bring them over in a sec.’
‘Thanks,’ Harper said, turning and slowly walking over to her mother. So many thoughts and questions ran through her mind at breakneck speed. Ted had put her mother in hospital. When did the beatings start? Yes, Harper knew Ted had been a bastard and was mentally abusive, but that was as far as it went. Obviously, she was very wrong. Was it happening while she was at home? Surely I would have known. There would have been signs. She racked her brains, trying to recall any incidents. There were a few times her mum had bruises, but she’d told Harper she had banged into something. Harper was a young teenager who thought her mum was just clumsy. Why would she think any different?
Harper pulled a chair out across from her mother and sank onto it. Should I tell her I know about Ted hitting her?
‘How have you been, Harper?’
A flood of emotion overcame her. When Harper spoke, she hoped her voice wouldn’t crack. All she kept seeing in her mind’s eye were images of that big brute laying into her mother. ‘I’ve been good.’ It was all she could think of to say. She really wanted to talk about Ted’s actions and, more importantly, why her mother hadn’t told her about it.
‘Are you happy?’
For a moment, Harper gave a genuine smile as she thought of Dylan waiting for her back at the hotel. ‘Yes,’ she said truthfully.
A look of relief crossed her mother’s features. ‘Good. That makes everything alright.’
‘What about you? How’ve you been?’
‘Can’t complain. I want to hear about you, Harper. Any kids?’
Harper shook her hea
d and smiled. ‘No pets either. I just don’t have the time.’
Beanie appeared at the table and discreetly placed down the tea cups, said hello to June, then quietly withdrew.
June looked at her with a cloud of concern. ‘I hope you’re eating properly.’
‘Of course,’ Harper said, thinking of the late night takeaways she ate on a regular basis. ‘You look tired.’ Harper stopped short of calling her mum. Not being able to utter the word that was loaded with so much meaning.
June picked the cup up with a trembling hand and blew on the hot liquid before taking a sip. ‘Nothing new. I don’t sleep much with the pain …’ She stopped abruptly as if she’d said too much.
‘You’re in pain?’
‘Oh, it’s nothing,’ June said, brushing it aside with a wave of her hand. ‘The odd pain here or there. It’s to be expected at my age.’
Harper had to say something about what Beanie had told her. It was killing her to remain silent. As much as she didn’t want to put her mother on the spot, if they were going to move forward, bringing everything out into the open was a necessity.
‘Mum.’ She forced the word out. ‘About Ted …’ she said slowly.
June’s face clouded with uneasiness before she lowered her gaze to the table. ‘I know what you’re going to say. No doubt Beanie’s already told you.’
‘Well, you wouldn’t have, would you?’
June’s face dropped. ‘No. Because it would have made things worse … for both of us.’ June’s words stumbled out in a flurry. ‘I had to make you go, Harper. He threatened to burn the house down with you in it.’
‘Why didn’t you leave?’
‘Believe me, he would have hunted me down wherever I went. I made my own bed.’
June slowly opened her jacket and glanced around. Tentatively she pulled up her jumper to reveal a mass of thick white scars covering her stomach.
June’s face was deathly pale. Her voice drifted into a hushed whisper. ‘He threatened to do this to you and more. I wasn’t going to let you suffer the same fate as me.’
Fury almost choked Harper. What kind of an animal would do such a thing to the woman he claimed to love? She was glad she didn’t know where he was buried. If she did, she would have spat on his grave.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jennifer opened her front door wider so Abi could enter. ‘Come in, babe, this is a nice surprise.’ Her words dragged behind one another.
‘You said to drop in when I was in the area, so here we are.’
Straightaway, Abi knew there was something off with Jennifer. When she entered her flat, the stench of weed confirmed it. She was stoned. Abi didn’t even know Jennifer smoked, let alone smoked weed. Abi took Jake from the buggy and stepped inside the flat.
‘And you must be little Jake,’ Jennifer said, taking Jake from Abi’s arms before she could protest. Jennifer threw Jake in the air as she led the way down the narrow hallway. ‘Hope you don’t mind sitting in the bedroom, I’m having some down time today,’ she said, giggling in unison with Jake, who was having a whale of a time with his air antics.
‘No, not at all,’ Abi said, keeping her eyes firmly on Jennifer’s hand, ready to jump in to save Jake from a nasty fall if necessary. She needn’t have worried as Jennifer sat him safely against the pillows on her unmade bed.
The sweet scent of marijuana permeated through the air, intoxicating her senses. ‘Do you mind opening the window? It’s really smoky,’ she said, seeing Jennifer through a light haze.
‘I take it you don’t smoke?’
‘No.’ Abi glanced at Jake and thought about his little lungs being exposed to the toxins in the air. ‘Look, I can see I’ve come at a bad time.’ She crossed the room and gathered Jake in her arms. ‘We’ll do this another time,’ she said, hurrying out of the room.
‘Oh, come on, don’t go. We can sit in the living room if you like.’
Abi opened the front door then turned to face her. ‘No, seriously. You’re relaxing. And Jake will need feeding soon.’ She kissed the top of his head, and her heart sunk when she realised he stunk of weed. What if someone smelt him? She was a fool for entering the flat in the first place. She should have turned around as soon as she realised there was dope there. Abi placed Jake back in his buggy and strapped him in. By this time, Jennifer was standing in the open doorway. Her face was a sea of confusion. ‘Abi, I hope me having a puff hasn’t put a spanner in the works.’
Abi straightened up. ‘Don’t be silly. It’s just bad timing, that’s all.’ She wasn’t that bothered by Jennifer smoking weed in her own home, she just didn’t want it around Jake. ‘I’ll see you at work.’
Jennifer held out her arm. ‘Kiss?’
Abi’s eyes dropped to Jennifer’s lips. Oh what the hell. She took a step forward and leant in to kiss her. Jennifer pulled her in tight, and before she knew it, her tongue had entered her mouth. The slow sensual kiss had her melting in Jennifer’s arms within seconds. The sound of a door in the block of flats being slammed shut brought it to an abrupt end.
‘I’ll see you soon?’ Jennifer said.
Abi nodded and in a daze stepped away, wrestling with the buggy to turn it around before heading towards the lift. She licked her lips and smiled to herself. When was the last time I felt like that?
Abi was still grinning when she arrived home and had barely got Jake out of his pram when the doorbell rang. In her happy glow, she opened the door without thinking who it might be.
‘Robyn!’ Abi looked at the large teddy Robyn held in her hand.
‘I thought Jake would like this,’ she said, putting it down on the floor.
‘You should have let me know you were coming.’
‘Why, is your girlfriend in there?’ Robyn jerked her head forward.
‘No, but I’m giving Jake a bath and putting him down for a nap.’
‘Let me give him a quick cuddle, and I’ll be off,’ Robyn said, holding her hands out.
Without thinking, Abi handed Jake to her. It was too late by the time she realised her mistake. Abi cringed when Robyn sniffed Jake’s head, then his clothes. Her eyes shimmered with the intensity of her anger as she took an abrupt step towards Abi and sniffed her hair. ‘Have you been smoking drugs around him?’ Anger flashed in her eyes.
‘It’s not what you think.’
‘What the fuck do I think? I’m not stupid. He fucking stinks of weed. And so do you.’
Abi reached out and grabbed Jake from her hands. ‘I haven’t been smoking anything. I walked into a room—’
‘—Pull the other one.’ Robyn gave a disdainful snort. ‘I knew you’d be an unfit mother. I knew it.’
Abi drew in a shaky breath. ‘What the hell does that mean?’
‘That Jake deserves better, that’s what. If you think I’m going to let him grow up with you, you’ve got another think coming.’
Fear ripped through her so fast her knees buckled. ‘What you on about?’
Anger marked Robyn’s every word. ‘Fuck mediation. It’s over. I’m going for full custody of Jake. When the judge hears about the drug infested environment you live in, they’ll be more than happy to award it to me.’
‘You wouldn’t be so cruel, Robyn.’
‘Wouldn’t I. You just watch me. Then you and your girlfriend can smoke until your fucking lungs rot.’
Robyn spun on her heel and started for the stairs.
‘Please, Robyn. Don’t start any more trouble. Please,’ Abi begged.
‘Instead of standing there whining, I’d spend as much time with Jake as you can for now. ’Cause you ain’t gonna have him much longer.’
Abi’s entire world fell around her feet at Robyn’s parting words. She knew Robyn wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted. Robyn was going to win. She always did.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Five hours later, Harper returned to the hotel. The afternoon had been both emotional and mentally exhausting. When she thought of what Ted had put her mo
ther through, she cursed the day they ever met. If he wasn’t dead already, she would have liked to kill him herself. Nothing would have given her greater pleasure than to see the man suffer. I hope the fucker is rotting in hell.
Not surprisingly, Dylan was working on her laptop when Harper walked into their room.
Dylan looked up at her in surprise. ‘That was quick.’
Harper laughed. She knew how easy it was to get so lost in work that you didn’t realise time was flying by. ‘Dylan, I’ve been gone for hours.’
‘You have?’ she glanced at her phone. ‘Is that the time already?’
‘I take it you haven’t eaten either?’
Dylan grinned sheepishly. ‘If you consider two oatmeal biscuits with copious amounts of coffee eating, then yes I have.’
Harper shook her head. ‘You’re terrible. I’ll order room service if you don’t mind. I just wanna chill out.’
‘Sounds good to me. So …’ Dylan closed the lid on her laptop. ‘Tell me how it went.’
Harper pulled off her boots and sat on the edge of the bed. She exhaled a pent up breath in a long sigh, then told Dylan about the conversation she’d had with her mum, repeating details of Ted’s abuse word for word. Her mum having to beg for money for basic needs. The other women he flaunted in her face. The drinking, the beatings, the whole lot.
‘That is absolutely horrific,’ Dylan said, an hour later, after listening to Harper’s woeful tale about her mother’s life for the past fifteen years.
‘I told you he was a good for nothing bastard.’ Harper took a bite of the gourmet burger room service had delivered moments ago. As promised, on the cabinet a bottle of champagne stood in a silver bucket of ice. For now though, Harper was occasionally sipping from a glass of coke.
‘Why didn’t your mum go to the police? Women’s aid? Why would she stick around with such a monster?’
‘She was scared he would go after her … and me.’ Knowing what Ted was capable of now, there was no doubt that he would have followed through with his threat. The image of her mum’s stomach flashed up in her mind, and she quickly squeezed her eyes tight in the hope of banishing it. Harper couldn’t bear to think what she had suffered at his hands. But she couldn’t turn the clock back and undo all that had been done. All she could do now was make the future a better one for her mum, by offering her help so she never had to ask anyone for anything ever again.