French Fry (The French Twist Series Book 3)

by Glynis Astie

  Louis chuckled. “Exactly. And this man loves you, mon coeur.”

  I felt the weight on my shoulders lighten a little. “I love you too, Bluey.”

  After I hung up with Louis, I debated calling Maya back, but couldn’t find the nerve to do it. I reasoned it was for the good of the baby to delay the call, because I found myself quite anxious at the prospect of trying to talk her through her current predicament while my hormones were running rampant. Who knows what I would say? This news would have to be delivered to her VERY carefully in order to minimize her tantrum.

  After a few minutes of debating, I realized I couldn’t tell her about my pregnancy yet. Two things would have to happen before Maya could learn about the impending growth of the Durand family. One: I had to find a way to fix the rift between Maya and Devon. Two: I needed to figure out how to control the massive amount of hormones which were already coursing through my body.

  I wasn’t sure which task was going to be more difficult. At this point, they both seemed insurmountable, which meant there was only one thing to do. I quickly called Kate and made plans to meet her at Barnes & Noble the next day. To date, there hadn’t been a problem Kate couldn’t solve; though I feared I was setting her up for inevitable failure since Maya had never been part of the equation. I chuckled, realizing that even Kate needed a challenge from time to time.

  Chapter Four

  “I can’t believe you chickened out.” Kate rolled her eyes at me as she put What to Expect When You’re Expecting back on the shelf.

  I took the book back off the shelf and glared at her. “What did you expect me to do? ‘Oh, Maya, I’m so sorry you might not be getting married. And by the way, I’m pregnant!’ Really?”

  She tried to take the book out of my hands, but I wouldn’t let it go. What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a must-read for any pregnant woman. Why won’t she let me have it? I frowned, coming to the conclusion I was standing in the middle of Barnes & Noble trying to win a book tug-of-war with my sister. What alternate universe were we living in?

  Kate suddenly released her grip and I almost fell on my ass. I grabbed the side of a bookshelf at the last second and righted myself.

  “What the hell, Kate?”

  She rolled her eyes at me. AGAIN. She truly had a death wish today. Pregnant women are not to be trifled with. Violence would be the very likely result of such an offense.

  “Syd! I told you Mom already bought you the entire What to Expect series. She’s having the books shipped to your apartment.” Kate snatched the book from me in frustration.

  After giving her an eye roll of my own, I sat down in a welcoming arm chair. A big puff of air whistled out of the faux leather cushion and my lips twitched. Poor Louis was going to have to get used to big blasts of air coming from his lovely wife. The little reading I had done so far indicated there was a butt-load of gas in my future. (Oh, how I love my puns.)

  After massaging my neck to ease the tension, I noticed my feet were aching. How odd! I had only been on them for the last thirty minutes. And it was much too early in my pregnancy for aching feet, wasn’t it?

  I shuddered involuntarily. My PREGNANCY. It sounded so weird.

  “Earth to Syd!”

  I raised my head to find Kate staring at me with wide eyes and an exasperated expression. It made me want to punch her. Yikes! That was the second time in two days I have wanted to punch someone. I’m normally such a mild mannered person. What was happening to me? Was wanting to throw down with every person who annoyed me going to become part of my everyday life? How is it possible to reduce the amount of stress you feel when your hormones are egging you on?

  I shook my head in my usual attempt to clear the nonsense and turned my attention back to Kate.

  “I’m sorry, Kate. What did you say?”

  She sat on the armrest of the chair. “Are you OK?”

  I leaned my head against her arm and exhaled slowly. “I don’t know. I feel…” I grasped for the right word to describe my state of mind.

  She stroked my hair gently. “Scared? Overwhelmed? Exhilarated?”

  I laughed softly. “Yes.”

  She put her arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “I know it’s a lot to take in, sweetie, but you’re going to be fine. I promise.”

  Before I could say anything, tears began to slide down my cheeks.

  Kate stood and pulled me up gently. She kept hold of my hands and looked into my eyes. “You’re an amazing person, Syd. You’re intelligent, funny, loving and a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re going to be an incredible mother.”

  I returned her gaze, hoping to absorb the confidence she felt. I had so many uncertainties about my ability to be a good mother. No matter how much time and energy I devoted to remaining calm and rational, the doubts were still there. Who better to ask than my sister?

  I squeezed her hands. “But what if I’m not? What if I can’t do it? It’s not like I can give the baby back.”

  Kate held up her hand to silence my frantic outburst. Stern Kate is in the house, y’all!

  “Sydney Julia Durand. If you can’t find the ability to believe in yourself right now, then believe this: I know you’re going to be a great mother and I’m always right.”

  Damn it. She is always right. It was unbelievably annoying, but quite helpful in this case.

  “Alright then.” I took a deep breath. “If I’m going to do this, then some advance knowledge of what’s going to happen to my body will help to keep the crazy at bay.”

  Kate bit her lip.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Fine. It will help to tone down the crazy.”

  Apparently this comment was too much for my sister, because she burst into a massive fit of giggles. It got so bad she had to sit down in my vacated arm chair in order to catch her breath.

  I regarded her with disdain. “Nice, Kate. First you tell me I’m going to be an amazing mother and then you laugh your ass off when I tell you my plan for doing just that.”

  Well, that was a mistake. Kate’s laughter reached a fevered pitch with a generous round of snorting. Very ladylike, indeed.

  While Kate tried to recover from her unruly chuckle-fest, I glanced back over at the pregnancy book aisle. I had to get down to business and pick some books.

  Wait a minute. Could it be? It’s Grace and Nigel! In the pregnancy section of the book store! I didn’t know they were starting a family. Hmmm. Perhaps they were still in the hush-hush stage like us.

  I had met Nigel a few years ago when I lived in a rental with six other people. It was very Real World San Francisco and not something I would repeat. I ended up in this humble abode due to the need to vacate the apartment I shared with my boyfriend in a hurry after coming home one day to find him in bed with not one, but TWO women. Not one of my best moments.

  Nigel was by far my favorite housemate and we are now bonded for life. He is very British and very goofy; two traits I absolutely adore. A classic software engineer, he had gazed at Grace—a gorgeous accountant from Hong Kong—longingly for over a year before she finally gave up and asked him out. It didn’t take long for them to realize that they were perfect for each other and their nuptials came two years later.

  They are now two of my favorite people in the world. They are also two people I haven’t told about the baby, but I have a sneaking suspicion they may have a secret of their own.

  I cleared my throat. “Hey, guys!”

  Nigel turned around and froze. He suddenly became white as a sheet. Busted.

  Grace whacked him in the chest. “Relax, Nigel! It’s just Syd.”

  She walked over to me and gave me a warm hug. “How are you, gorgeous girl?”

  I paused. “Um, pregnant?” Crap! I clamped my hand over my mouth in shock. I didn’t mean for that to come out so quickly. Though I am standing in a rather large selection of pregnancy related books. It’s not too far of a stretch…

  Her face lit up. “Congratulations!!!”


  I smiled. “Thank you!” I regarded her expectantly. “And you?”

  Her shoulders began to shake with mirth. “Not yet. Only thinking about it at this point. Have to get this one to grow up first.” She jerked her head towards Nigel, who instantly grinned.

  “Had no idea you were so ready to start a family, Syd! Congratulations! I guess Louis wants to get going on his rugby team, eh?”

  I laughed awkwardly. Ready to start a family? Ha! He had to know better. Nigel being Nigel, he was simply trying to make the best of things. On second thought, it was quite possible he was that clueless. Unfortunately for him, he was around a hormonal pregnant woman, who also happened to be slightly unreasonable in a non-pregnant state. (Be quiet. No one asked you.)

  His boisterous commentary earned him another smack coupled with a murderous look from his wife. Ouch. Someone was going to get a serious talking to later. Poor Nigel was always sticking his foot in his mouth.

  Kate came over with her usual perfect timing to diffuse the situation, which meant she was going to subdue the, um, passionate pregnant lady, also known as her sister, by any means necessary.

  “Nigel! I haven’t seen you in such a long time! How are you?” Kate drew him into a hug and whispered something in his ear.

  Nigel’s eyebrows shot up and he blushed profusely. It appeared he finally understood the situation at hand. This baby was quite unmistakably a surprise for all parties.

  He cleared his throat awkwardly, his ears still extremely pink. “So, Syd, how are you feeling?”

  His sweet face sent my raging hormones back where they came from. Instead, I felt badly for him. He was always looking for the best in people and it’s not like I had discussed family planning with him. How was he supposed to know this whole thing had caught me completely off guard?

  I relaxed and grinned at him. “I love you dearly, Nigel.” Then I walked over and hugged him tightly. I was lucky to have such a good friend in him.

  He chuckled nervously and returned the hug. “I love you too, Syd.”

  I pulled out of our embrace and said, “You’re going to be a wonderful father.”

  He smiled sheepishly. “I hope so.”

  I had no doubt Nigel would be an amazing father. He would be kind, caring, engaged and completely loving with his children. And they were going to walk ALL OVER him. It was a good thing he had Grace. She may be petite and very sweet, but she didn’t take crap from anyone, not even those of the pint-sized variety. She would love her kids as much as her husband, but she would make sure they were respectful and very well disciplined.

  I sighed while trying to focus on what a magnificent adventure parenting could be. It certainly seemed harmless enough when thought about in relation to other people. But when you realize that YOU are going to be someone’s parent, it suddenly seems like a terror-filled nightmare. Instead of thinking about the cute little outfits and the “baby smell” everyone swoons over, you think about sleepless nights, endless dirty diapers and screaming babies. Or at least I do.

  And the issues only multiply once they get older! Then you get to the whining, the questions, the demands and the POTTY training. And…and…you have to teach them about morals and ethics and, um, sex…oh God. I don’t think I can do this. How can you possibly teach someone all those things? How in the world do you shape a child into a decent human being given the vast number of external factors you have to contend with?

  I felt dizzy as the list of parenting responsibilities grew to an astronomical level. Sweat began beading on my forehead and I noticed my hands were shaking. I felt a hand touch my shoulder lightly.

  “Syd? Is everything alright?” Nigel examined me with concern.

  I tried to slow my breathing. “I think I need to sit down.”

  Nigel quickly led me back to the armchair. “Shall I grab you a cookie from the café?”

  I nodded gratefully and he departed to find a dose of sugar for my frazzled nerves. Kate and Grace were in a deep discussion about the pros and cons of co-sleeping and I decided to stay quiet so I could sit this one out. (It sounded like a foreign language to me.)

  Since I first told Kate about my pregnancy, she has dropped a series of knowledge bombs on me. They came at random times, were quite lengthy and were followed by detailed quizzes. Yes, I realize I just told you about my plan to derail the crazy by arming myself with information, but I would like to be able to proceed at my own pace as well as focus on the areas of my choosing. Though Kate had the best of intentions, she was becoming a bit of a drill sergeant. I would have to ask Louis how to handle this situation delicately.

  My well-honed diplomatic skills seemed to be on the fritz lately. I would have to fix this issue quickly as these abilities were absolutely essential in both my work and home life. Louis needed a fairly rational wife and my company needed a skilled professional. Have you ever met a Human Resources Partner with a lack of diplomacy? Neither have I. This is most likely because they are the ones on the wrong side of extremely messy law suits.

  As I scanned the store for Nigel (and my sugar fix), I thought about how helpful it would be to have another perspective on child rearing. Kate was full of useful information, but she was very rigid in her methods. I needed to hear from someone who was more of a relaxed parent. (I can assure you the irony of my statement is not lost on me.)

  What I really needed was to talk to MY parents. They have done pretty well for themselves, right? My dad managed to raise three very cool daughters before he met my mom and then he started over with the three of us. We turned out nicely too, if I do say so myself. The two of them were a remarkable team.

  While Charlie and I haven’t come anywhere near the saint-like status of Kate, we’re above average in a number of areas. We’re intelligent, kind and loving people. I’m sure my parents have some sort of secret formula. My dad often brags about his impressive parenting capabilities. And in his mind, everything comes down to science—which is exactly what I need!

  I felt a sense of peace ease its way through my body as Nigel returned with a small brown bag. Food! He bowed as he handed it to me. There were tell-tale grease stains on the bag; a sign of a scrumptious treat if I had ever seen one. And Nigel was smart enough to know whatever was in the bag had better contain a decent amount of chocolate. (And by decent, I mean A LOT.) I was practically salivating in anticipation.

  “Why thank you, kind sir.” I eagerly opened the bag and peered in, a delicious aroma of sweetness enveloping me. Chocolate-chocolate chunk! Score! This man knew me so well. I flashed a quick grin at him and took a big bite. Wow. Rich, chocolatey and chewy: the perfect cookie combination. It was almost orgasmic. Mmm…

  When I shoved the last of the cookie in my mouth and licked the chocolate from my fingers, Kate started to laugh. “Nice, Syd.”

  I frowned at her. “I had low blood sugar,” I said with my mouth still partially full of cookie.

  She smirked in response.

  I turned to Nigel and swallowed before speaking this time. “Thank you for rescuing me. I feel much better.”

  Grace put her hand on my shoulder. “Chocolate makes everything better, right?”

  I chuckled. “It does in my book. At the very least, it improves the situation.”

  Grace laughed. “Well, ladies, we must be off. I have a doctor’s appointment to get to.”

  Apprehension must have shown in my face because Grace said, “Nothing to worry about Syd. Only a routine appointment.”

  Not wanting to pry, I simply smiled. After Grace and Nigel reminded me to pass on their congratulations to Louis, Kate and I hugged them goodbye and they left the bookstore.

  Twenty minutes later, I had selected books to peruse over the next few weeks. Your Pregnancy Week by Week would give me a breakdown of the basic biological development of the baby, The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy would give me a nice balance of pregnancy developments, empathy and humor and Belly Laughs would make me cackle.

  Once Kate approved my choices, we were
off the register. When we reached the cashier, she insisted on paying and added a small Godiva chocolate bar to the pile. (Yes, I just had a cookie. I’m eating for two now, remember?)

  She smirked at me. “Since you’ve been such a good girl, you deserve a treat.”

  “But I wanted ice cream!” I whined. I covered my mouth in horror. Dear God, please make it stop.

  Kate raised her eyebrows. “Looks like the hormones are here to stay, little sister.”

  My face turned beet red as the cashier handed Kate the bag of books. She quickly extracted the chocolate bar and put it in my purse.

  “I’ll take you to The Creamery for ice cream now.” She paused and looked at me pointedly. “Save the chocolate for later. You’re going to notice that Louis will piss you off a lot more than he used to. These hormones aren’t fun and they’ll scare the crap out of your husband. A little chocolate goes a long way in keeping everyone happy.”

  I bobbed my head up and down at her rapidly. Pregnancy was tricky. Was I suddenly going to turn into some kind of monster? Would Louis even want me near him? Would I recognize myself? How could my raging hormones be good for the baby?

  Feeling completely lost and confused, I followed Kate to her car. While the prospect of a brownie sundae made with the best homemade ice cream EVER perked me up quite a bit, consuming such a massive amount of sugar was only going to add to the pounds I was about to pack on. I reasoned an extra treat in the name of helping me cope with the idea of being pregnant was no big deal, but knew the importance of getting these cravings under control quickly. I didn’t want to end up gaining fifty extra pounds which I would have to lose later. I had to do my best to stay in good shape so I could keep up with this kid!

  Starting tomorrow, I would follow a healthy pregnancy diet. Kate most likely had a long lecture prepared for this particular topic. Oh, and I had to find a way to fix whatever was wrong between Devon and Maya. Then I could face the daunting task of telling her I was going to be the biggest matron of honor this world had ever seen. Chocolate, give me strength.