Daniel Haley and the Immortal Ninja

by Caleb Karger

  “What’s going on?! Who are those guys?! Why is everyone after me?!”

  She inspected my wound. “The bullet just grazed the surface. You’ll be fine,” she said.

  She tried to peek around the corner to see who was shooting at us. She jumped back to avoid a spray of gunfire. Then she looked around trying to figure out a way to escape. She pointed to the department store attached to the end of the mall; it was the only thing standing in our way to the car.

  “We can cut through there.”

  “How are we supposed to—?!”

  She got up and started sprinting towards the store. I did my best to follow, but my limping slowed me down. The bullets whizzing by my head made it impossible to resist screaming, only the sound that escaped resembled a squealing pig rather than a shout.

  Once I saw that the department store’s doors were barred from the inside, I stopped. We’d have to go around. Yet, Katherine was still running towards them. She jumped, rammed her shoulder into the glass, tore through the bars, and landed on a pile of wreckage. I reached her as she got to her feet. She pulled a few chunks of glass out of her arms and legs. Crimson coated her hands.

  “Are you okay?!”

  “Keep moving!” She pushed me to start running again. My legs filled with spikes. I felt like I couldn’t take another step, let alone run.

  We wove our way through the aisles. When we reached the kitchen section, the man with a broken nose popped out from behind a refrigerator. He grunted and tackled Katherine into a shelf display of frying pans. He landed a punch to her face. Disoriented, she searched blindly for a pan. She snatched one, and with a growl, she smacked it into the side of his head.

  “Argh!” The man wailed and stepped back, clutching his head. Katherine didn’t hesitate to whack him again. He pulled a huge Bowie knife from his belt and jabbed at her.

  “Watch out!” I said. When she looked to see if I was alright, the knife slashed her ear in two.

  “Don’t distract me!” She hissed through her teeth. I swallowed the impulsive apology as she deflected another slash.

  The man backed her up against a wall of ovens. She swung for his shoulder while one of her feet pulled an oven open. When he dodged the swing of her frying pan, he exposed his neck. She grabbed his throat and pushed his head into the oven. She smashed the oven door against it. CLANG! The guy sunk to the ground.

  She led the way to the exit doors. With one swipe of her magic pan, she broke the metal grate protecting the doors, and we emerged outside. The car was sitting all alone. We were in the home stretch, escape and safety were within our reach.

  Halfway to the car, I heard the doors behind us open and close. I glanced back. There was one last attacker.

  He’d snagged a bow from the outdoors department, but no arrows. That was pretty dumb on his part. He yelled and doubled over. For a moment, I thought he was going to throw up. I stopped to watch him in bewilderment. With each shudder, something grew on his face. It looked like clumps of wet sand. The substance secreted from his pores. I didn’t know whether to be amazed or sick.

  When he looked up, a gray mask covered his face. It had two small horns on the top, two slits for nostrils, narrow angry eyes, and a frowning mouth with two fangs. It ought to have looked cheesy, but it didn’t. There was something about it that freaked me out; maybe the way it looked rotten and corrupted.

  He raised the bow and drew back on the string. I saw the spot where an arrow should’ve been, spark. A bolt of lightning stretched out into an arrow shape. I blinked a couple of times. This was real, right? Not some video game I’d stumbled into?

  He aimed for Katherine. She was just about to reach the car when she stopped and spun around. He released his arrow.

  “No!” I cried out.

  The arrow hit the ground by her feet and exploded.

  The sound was deafening. A wall of air hit me hard. I fell over and scraped my elbows across the blacktop. A cloud of smoke and debris flew into my face. I stared at the dying flames where Katherine had been standing. I don’t know why I looked; I didn’t want to see another dead body—certainly not hers.

  Then, miraculously, Katherine stepped through the flames. Her clothes were black and tattered, but she was unharmed. I shook my head. This wasn’t happening. There was no logical way. She should be dead.

  I heard the pull of the bow string and the sizzle of the lightning as the man prepared to fire again. A hand touched my shoulder. I jolted as I saw it was Katherine. She had just been over by the car; how did she get to me so fast? Before she could help me up, another arrow came towards us.

  I yelled, turned away, and shielded my head with my arms. BOOM! The shockwave slapped my body. The temperature soared upwards. I heard what sounded like rubble hitting a stone wall.

  As the explosion died off, the ground started shaking violently. I felt the pavement breaking apart causing lamp posts to snap and topple over. In the distance, I heard the man scream…then silence.

  The ground became still, and I gathered the courage to open my eyes. It looked like an earthquake had struck. There was a deep chasm leading from where Katherine stood to where our assailant had been, but he was long gone. What the heck happened?!

  Katherine shuffled me towards the car. We got in and surged out of the parking lot. Even though I was buckled up, I was tossed around my seat as she whipped around corners. She must’ve forgotten the car had a break.

  “I’m sorry for that,” she said. “That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  “Uh, I hope not,” I said.

  Her phone rang. She put it on speaker. “Commander,” said a girl with an Australian accent.

  “It’s good to know you’re still awake!” Katherine said. “I shouldn’t be dodging arrows right now!” She looked into her rearview mirrors. She didn’t seem convinced that we’d escaped the danger yet.

  “I’ve been watching the perimeter. I don’t know how they slipped past me.”

  “How many are following?”

  “Five more.”

  My fingers dug into the sides of my seat.

  “Follow me until we get to the safe house,” she said.

  “Yes, commander.”

  The phone went silent. We pulled onto the highway, speeding back towards downtown. The city lights sparkled in the distance. I felt like I was looking at a picture because there was no way I was still in the real world.

  Somehow, one of my fantasies had sucked me in. There weren’t any men chasing us, no danger. Not even the girl sitting next to me was real. Any minute I’d wake up to find I’d passed out during social studies. Everything made sense now.

  “Really?” Katherine said.

  “What?”

  “Now you don’t want to ask questions?”

  “Are you going to answer them now?” I said in a hoarse voice.

  She sighed. “Kind of pointless to hide it after that.”

  Since it seemed like I wasn’t going to be waking up any time soon, I decided to indulge in my dream. “Why are you here? Why are those guys after me?”

  “We’re both here for the same reason.” She ignored the road and looked at me. “You.”

  I grimaced as I waited for the car to start swerving into the other lanes. “W-why?”

  “Well, I came here to recruit you for my squad. They came to stop me,” she said. “You see, I’m a part of an ancient organization made up of people who can do extraordinary things—things most people believe are impossible. It’s my job to find other special people and teach them how to harness their gifts to help protect the world.”

  “So…you’re from the X-men?”

  She rolled her eyes. “The X-men aren’t real.”

  My face lost all expression. “Wait, are you trying to say I have powers?”

  “I know it’s hard—”

  “I don’t have powers.”

  Her hands gripped the wheel so tightly I could hear it straining. “Fine, you think you don’t? Tell me, have you ever been burned
a day in your life? Maybe by—I dunno—hot water, toast, or the sun?”

  I snickered. “No, I’m more careful than that.”

  “Sure, maybe now, but what about when you were a kid? You can’t tell me you never forgot to blow on your food. I bet you don’t even know what a burn feels like,” she said.

  “Sure I do!” My mouth hung open for a minute as I searched for the right words. “It, uh, hurts,” I said.

  She arched a skeptical eyebrow at me. “Our abilities start small. They can be easily overlooked, or written off as nothing. People like us could go our whole lives not knowing.”

  I raked through my brain to try to find any proof that she was wrong. But my mind drew a blank. That doesn’t mean anything, I thought. I was overwhelmed by everything else going on, of course I couldn’t remember something small like that. Still, I wanted to get the subject off of me.

  “What is this organization anyway? Do you guys have a name for yourselves?”

  She bit her lip. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask that.” She fidgeted in her seat. “You’re going to think I’m ridiculous.”

  “Come on, tell me.”

  “Okay, I…I’m a…ninja,” she said.

  I waited for her to tell me the actual name. When she didn’t, a smile started twisting its way onto my face. I slapped a hand to my forehead and laughed.

  Her shoulders fell. “I told you you’d think it was ridiculous.”

  No wonder none of this seemed real. Some rich girl had pulled off the most elaborate prank of all time. I was relieved to know I still had my sanity. I was awake, and I didn’t imagine things. I struggled to stop my laughter, but the smile wasn’t going anywhere.

  “A ninja?” I said. “I’m really supposed to believe that? Where’s your sword? Aren’t you supposed to be in a black outfit with a mask?”

  “Well, my sword is…” her eyes trailed to the narrow space behind the seats, where something wrapped in a jacket rested, “And my mask is in my pocket.”

  She was going out of her way to pull off this hoax. “You’re serious about this?”

  “Yes, I am,” she said.

  VROOM!!! A powerful engine blasted away the silence. We both looked at the side-view mirrors to see that coming up behind us was a rusty old Camaro. The other cars behind us did their best to get out of the way. They probably thought a couple of teenagers were out for a joy ride. Even though I didn’t think it was anything more than that either, I felt uneasy. Driving around like this was still dangerous.

  “Alright, you got me pretty good,” I said. “You and your friends can upload the best video the internet has ever seen. But seriously, I don’t think you can keep squeezing more reactions out of me. Can you slow down and take me home?”

  “What’s it going to take for you to believe me?” She shook her head. She forced the car to its limits. We went left and right around the cars in front of us.

  “I don’t know. I’m not even sure I’m awake right now,” I said.

  She searched the highway. “Where is she?” she whispered to herself.

  In front of us, a row of sluggish cars blocked all of the lanes. She sped straight for them like she didn’t see them. I felt my heart jump into my throat. She drove into the constricted space of the emergency lane. We were so close to the median and the cars next to us; the side-view mirrors sparked.

  Downtown loomed closer. I could make out the black towers against the sky. The exit for my neighborhood came and went. Where was she taking me?

  I looked back, and the Camaro was only three car lengths away. Out of nowhere, a Jeep came screeching up through traffic and struck the passenger side of the Camaro, throwing it up against the median. I heard a crunch and saw a fountain of sparks light up the night behind us.

  “Finally,” Katherine sighed.

  I wondered how long she was going to try to stretch this prank out. Then I figured I should just go along with it. When it was over, she’d leave me and go back to her life. My stomach lurched. I watched the cars behind us with little enthusiasm.

  The Camaro rammed into the Jeep until it swerved and spun away wildly. The Camaro was no longer trapped. The Jeep tried to catch up, but the Camaro pounded into a minivan, causing it to skid sideways before rolling and smashing into the Jeep.

  The other drivers on the highway freaked out and hit their breaks. A symphony of crashing and breaking glass broke out. The Jeep that had tried to protect us was stuck somewhere in the wreckage.

  “You guys are going to hurt someone!” I said. The Camaro crept closer. I worried about what stunt they were going to pull next.

  My body couldn’t tell the difference between real danger and fake. I started going into overdrive. I felt my skin get warm. The moisture on my eyes evaporated to the point where my eyelids felt like sandpaper every time I blinked. Sweat broke out on my forehead, and nausea hit me. I leaned against the window and clutched my shirt.

  “You okay?” Katherine asked. I shook my head, which only made my dizziness worse. She put her hand on my forehead. The second she touched me, she jerked away like she had gotten burned. “Here, that’ll help.”

  She offered me a thermos. I opened it, expecting water, but was pleasantly surprised to find a cold cherry flavored slushy inside. My innards were so hot that I swore the slushy turned to steam the second it started going down, but not before it gave me a bit of relief. Unfortunately, my eyes were still waterless and scratchy.

  “Sorry, I get overheated a lot.” I wiped the sweat from my brow.

  “Mmhmm, and you think you’re normal.”

  “Hot flashes don’t mean I have some kind of powers,” I said and tried not to laugh.

  “How bad have you’re ‘hot flashes’ gotten?”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I just get hot, other times it’s a fever. I have to go to the hospital all the time…” I said. Yeah, I started to notice that wasn’t normal. “It’s because I’m chubby, though. They told me to lay off the spicy food, and I didn’t.”

  “Seriously, what is it going to take?” Her attention pulled back to the mess behind us. The Camaro was bashing and crashing its way towards us, causing flips and collisions. “They’re getting too close.” Deciding to take action, she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Take the wheel.”

  “What?! I don’t even know how to drive!” I said. She let go of the wheel. The car started to drift. She made no effort to control the vehicle. I was forced to take the wheel. “What are you doing?!”

  “Getting rid of the problem.”

  She rolled her window down and climbed on top of the car. I was starting to question her sanity. We were driving over two hundred miles per hour, and she was trying to ride on the roof?! With lots of effort, I got into the driver’s seat.

  My mom had given me a few lessons on driving. The first time was in a golf cart—which I crashed into a wall. The second time she let me use the car, I bulldozed through our neighbor’s trash cans. After that, I decided maybe it wasn’t my time to drive.

  I tried to keep my hands steady on the wheel. Just keep it in a straight line. Easy on the break and slow down. Definitely, slow down, I thought.

  The moment I eased off of the gas, the Camaro came up beside us. I heard a thud overhead. I saw Katherine leap across two lanes and land perfectly on the Camaro. Her hands slapped down on the top of the roof and ripped it off. It went flying backward and pierced another car’s engine.

  “What the…” I said. Okay, she couldn’t just jump two lanes without some wire. And if that roof was fake stuff it couldn’t bust up another car. Maybe she wasn’t pranking me.

  She dropped into the car and attacked the driver. The Camaro fell behind. I realized I ought to be watching where I was going. But when I looked in front of me, the highway was empty. Even on the opposite side, there was no traffic. I slowed down and stopped for a minute.

  How was that possible? There was a ton of wreckage behind me. Surely, someone would’ve called for help? Where were the police? The news helico
pters?

  “I got you now, kid,” a voice said. I looked to the passenger side window. One of the masked guys was about to open the door.

  “AH!!” I hollered. All I could remember was one maneuver I saw in a video game once. I threw the wheel to the right, hit the gas, and the tires screeched. The car whipped sideways, violently running the guy over. I took off, going back down the highway, in the wrong direction. “CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!” I kept looking back. I hoped no one was coming for me.

  I spotted the Camaro upside down. Two masked guys were lying dead on the road. Not too far from them, Katherine was lying motionless. I stomped on the break, threw the door open, and sprinted to her.

  I fell onto my knees beside her. She was sprawled out like an X, bits of glass surrounding her. Blood and grime dotted her shirt. The pavement had shredded the fabric. Her skin had a bad case of road burn too, but there were no deep wounds. She twitched, and one of her eyes cracked open.

  She groaned. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t look fine,” I said. “We need to take you to the hospital—”

  “Hospital…smoshpital…” She coughed. “I’ll heal.” She started to sit up, but cried out and flopped back down. I heard her grinding her teeth as she trembled. She forced herself to take deep breaths. “Ow…ow…”

  “I’m taking you whether you like it or—”

  “You’re not taking me to the hospital!” she said as she scowled at me. After seeing the damage she’d done to the other guys, I wasn’t going to risk making her mad.

  I squeaked. “Okay.”

  She laughed then hissed and reached for her ribs. “Ow…don’t make me laugh.” Her eyes screwed shut. “I think I cracked a rib. I need ice, lots of ice.” She looked down the highway. “We have to get out of here, one of them got away from me.”

  “Oh, um, I think I hit him with the car,” I said. “Do you need some help?”

  She looked at me like I’d somehow misplaced my brain. “No, I’ll just crawl back to my car.”

  I smiled and tried to figure out the best way to move her. I slid one arm below her neck and the other underneath her knees. I stood up, wavering a second and tried to get my balance. At most, she weighed a hundred and fifteen pounds, but it felt like three hundred for a guy who never lifted a weight in his life. I struggled to mask my heavy breathing and tried to put on a manly face. She kept looking at me with an entertained expression.