Halfway Whole and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  He grinned. “Oh yeah?”

  “That kind of sex and this kind of sundae.”

  “I won’t ask which is better.”

  “I needed the sex. But this just makes it better.”

  “You weren’t the only one who needed it, but just so we are clear, you did way more than fulfill a need. That was pretty intense.”

  “Intense good I hope?” I took a bite of ice cream.

  “Intense amazing.” He moved closer to me in the bed. “But you have to have known that. You were there.”

  “Oh, I was there.” I could still feel him inside of me, and it felt incredible. “I’m still not entirely sure how all that happened.”

  “I know how it happened.” He put his leg over mine. Even that kind of touch had me wanting more of him. “We went from looking at old pictures to baking brownies.”

  “You now know my weaknesses.”

  “I don’t think I’ll call them weaknesses.”

  “What would you call them then?” I was half ready to pull him on top of me. What the hell was wrong with me? I was never so into sex.

  “Interests.”

  “Oh?” I tried to play it cool. “Is that so?”

  “Yes. I have interests too.” He took the bowl from me and set it down on the nightstand next to him.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “I have a new one.” His hand slipped under the covers.

  “What’s that?”

  “You.” His hand urged my legs open. “Anything involving you.”

  “Now that has to be a line.”

  “Eventually you will accept that I’m not using lines on you.” He rested his hand between my legs.

  I waited for more, but his hand didn’t move. “You really are very neighborly.”

  “I can assure you this isn’t my usual welcome, but then again, you aren’t the usual neighbor.”

  “I’m glad for that.”

  “Are you?” He slipped his fingers inside.

  I gasped. I’d known it was coming, but it still took me by surprise.

  “Yeah. You’re glad. “

  I closed my eyes. “I am more glad than you can know.”

  “I know.” He slipped in another finger and I about lost it.

  Maple barked. I tried to ignore her, but she got louder. I pushed his hand away. “I better go take her out.”

  “I have a better idea. You stay here and I’ll take her out.”

  “But I have to get up anyway.”

  “Why?” He seemed legitimately puzzled.

  “Because…”

  “Is there any reason Maple can't sleep here?”

  “No…” It’s not like we even had a routine yet.

  “Is there any reason you can’t sleep here?”

  “Well…” I struggled to come up with something convincing that wouldn’t come off as insulting.

  “Nope. Don’t take time to make up an excuse. Go with your immediate gut answer.”

  “Ok. Then. Then no. There is no reason.”

  “Good.” He got up and stepped into his boxers and shorts. “I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere.”

  “I don’t plan on it. Well unless it’s for another brownie.” I was only joking. Brownies weren’t the top priority on my mind.

  He took the bowl. “I’ll bring us a refill when I come back.”

  “I’ll hold you to it.”

  He kissed me gently before heading out the door with Maple.

  What had I just done?

  Twelve

  Logan

  Things had moved from friendly to way more than that quickly, and I had absolutely no interest in changing the pace.

  I walked Maple down by the lake. It wasn’t nearly as much fun without Brooke’s company, but if she’d come she’d have for sure gone home after. Instead she was still in my bed. Naked in my bed, and waiting for me. I was hard again just thinking about it. I turned around to head back. I hoped Maple was okay with a quick walk. I didn’t want to leave Brooke waiting for long.

  It was dark out now, but I knew my way around like the back of my hand. Nothing really changed, besides the people. Especially when it came to Brooke. I hadn’t seen her coming at all. And I wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe I was rushing things, but it was inevitable. That level of chemistry was impossible to ignore.

  I made a fresh brownie sundae when I got back and carried it into my room. Brooke was sound asleep. The sheets were pulled up to just above her breasts, exposing just enough skin to reveal that she was indeed still naked. I set down the brownie, got undressed, and slipped in beside her.

  She stirred, but didn’t wake up. I pulled her into my arms and turned off the lamp. Maybe not what I’d expected to come back to, but nice all the same.

  * * *

  I woke up to an empty bed. The disappointment came quick. Memories of the night before flooded back. We’d woken up more than once during the night, and each of those times had been nothing short of extraordinary. I hoped her decision to leave had to do with Maple and not with what happened between us. But there was nothing I could do about it either way. The beauty of being neighbors was that I’d be able to see her again really soon.

  And I did. I saw her as soon as I stepped foot on the front porch. She was changed with wet hair, evidently she’d just gotten out of the shower. “Good morning,” she smiled.

  “Good morning to you too.” I took a step toward her. “You left.”

  “I did, sorry. Maple needed to go out.” She looked good with wet hair, but my mind was going to picturing the rest of her body dripping wet.

  “You could have woken me up.”

  “You looked really cute and deep asleep.”

  “Still could have woken me up.” I’d have been absolutely fine with that.

  “Not to walk my dog.”

  “I like that you call her your dog now.” I still wish she’d stayed in bed with me, but at least I now knew her absence was Maple’s fault, not my own.

  “Yeah, she’s really grown on me. I’m not giving her up. Oh. The reason I’m here.” She held out my phone. “You left this at my place.”

  “Oh thanks.” I took it back. “Funny, I didn’t notice it was missing.”

  “You missed a bunch of calls and messages.” She looked away. “Not that I checked or anything, but I just saw it on the screen.”

  “No need to explain. As long as none were from Jaylin I’m good.”

  “I just saw a bunch from A.J. and a Brian.”

  “Gotcha.” The A.J. calls I wasn’t surprised with, but the Brian ones were out of the blue. My best friend wasn’t much of a phone person.

  “Well. I guess I’ll get going. That was, uh, fun last night.”

  “That was more than fun.” I walked down the steps toward her. “And I hope it wasn’t a one-time thing.”

  “I guess only time will tell.”

  “Hopefully I’ll see you around. Too bad I don’t have your number.”

  She laughed. “How will you ever find me again?”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll track you down, no matter what it takes.”

  “We’ll see. It may be difficult.”

  “Many things are difficult, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing.” I cupped her chin and kissed her. It got heated immediately and then she broke the kiss. “If we go down that line neither of us are ever getting anything done today.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  “I want to head into town.”

  “Need a ride?” I really hoped she did. I would take any excuse to spend time with her.

  “I can do it. I figure It would be pretty hard to get lost. Although I’ll tell you, I’m very used to GPS. One of those things I miss about my phone.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, GPS barely works up here. Most cell service can be spotty too.”

  “That does help. So if I ever get lost and need to ask for directions, people won’t look at me like I have two heads.”

  “Well
, they might look at you that way, but it won’t be because you’re asking for directions.”

  She laughed again. I was on a role. Twice in one conversation. “Do you need anything while I’m there?”

  “Nope. I’m good. But thank you. I’m not used to having someone around to offer that.”

  “Well, hopefully you’ll return the favor.”

  “You know I will.”

  “Have a great day.”

  “Come here.” I tugged on her hand to pull her closer to me again. “You can’t leave like that.”

  “I can’t?” She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip.

  “Nope. You have to leave like this.” I pulled her close and kissed her. I wasted no time heating things up.

  We broke the kiss when Maple started barking.

  She appeared to be struggling to catch her breath. “Ok. Seriously, we have to stop that.”

  “Nope. Take a break. Not stop.”

  “Fine. Take a break.” She took a step back.

  “Enjoy your trip to town,” I smiled. I loved the affect I had on her.

  “I'm sure I will.”

  * * *

  I watched as she disappeared inside her cabin. I glanced at my phone. She wasn’t kidding about all the missed calls. I started with a return call to Brian. That one would be easier.

  “Hey man,” he answered right away. “Where have you been?”

  “Sorry. Busy night and I didn’t have my phone on me.”

  “Busy night?” His voice dripped with skepticism. “Out on the lake?”

  “Yeah. Stranger things have happened.”

  “Wait.” He let out a dry laugh. “This is about that girl.”

  “Which girl?” I played stupid.

  “The one you were at breakfast with.”

  “News spread that fast?” I wasn’t actually surprised. There weren’t too many newcomers in town, and the renters were rarely out with the locals.

  “Of course it did. I heard she’s pretty hot.”

  “She’s gorgeous.” Hot was far too tame of a word.

  “Wait.” He paused. “You didn’t? Already?”

  “My lips are sealed. You know me.”

  “Which means yes. Impressive.”

  “Nothing impressive about it. Just happened I guess.” I felt kind of guilty. I didn’t like to kiss and tell, but I never lied to Brian.

  “How long is she in town for?”

  “Six months.” Hopefully it would be longer. It sure would be if I had my way.

  “Why is she here?”

  “Wanted a change of scenery.” That seemed like the easiest explanation.

  “Whatever you say.”

  “It’s the truth. But what’s up? You called like five times. You never call.”

  “I need to tell you something, and you can’t freak out.”

  “Ok. I’m listening.” I normally didn’t promise a reaction, but if Brian was asking, it had to be important.

  “I think I’m proposing to Jinny.”

  “Oh yeah?” Surprising news, but not all that far out. “Why would I freak out?”

  “Because we haven’t been together long. Aren't you the one always telling me to slow down?”

  I wanted to laugh. I could no longer talk about taking anything slow. “She’s the first girlfriend of yours I like. Don’t have to slow down this time. Congrats.”

  “Don’t say congrats yet. I don’t know if she’s going to say yes.”

  “How can you ask a girl to marry you if you don’t know what her answer will be?”

  “It’s entirely possible. She’s weird about commitment.”

  “Did you find a ring yet?” I figured that was the big step.

  “I know she’s going to want to pick it out. That’s the problem.”

  “But how are you going to propose without a ring?” I didn’t know too many girls who would be okay with that.

  “That in lies the problem, doesn’t it?”

  “It does.” Then it hit me. “You want my help somehow? That’s why you called?”

  “Any chance you could make me a temporary ring? Something cool and original.”

  “You think Jinny would want that?”

  “It’s a placeholder. And yes. Absolutely. She always says you should make jewelry.”

  True. She had suggested it. “Ok. What kind of ring are you thinking?”

  “You’re the creative one.”

  “Come on. This is for your girlfriend.” He had to give me something.

  “Make it pretty and impressive.”

  “Gee. Really detailed and specific.”

  “You’ll come up with something.”

  “I will.” He was a good friend and it would be easy enough to make.

  “So when do I get to meet this girl?”

  “Brooke?” I hadn’t thought about introducing them, but I needed to.

  “Oh. That’s her name?”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t hear that too.”

  “I’m sure someone mentioned it, but I was more focused on the cute new girl you had your claws in already.”

  “There are no claws involved. Just my charismatic personality.”

  “Oh yes.” He laughed. “I’m sure that’s what it is.”

  “Shut up, Brian. I’ll make the ring.” I hung up. Next up was A.J.

  “You are such a piece of work,” A.J. picked up.

  “Nice greeting.”

  “Don’t nice greeting me. You can’t avoid me forever.” She never enjoyed my humor.

  “I know. And I’ll get you your money.”

  “You think that’s all this is about?” Her voice was shrill. “The money?”

  “What else is it about?”

  “You really won’t even give us a chance?”

  “No. A.J. How many times do I have to tell you? I’ve tried to be nice about this.”

  “I know you feel it still. You have to.”

  “No. I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m hoping one day we can be friends like we used to be. And I swear I’m going to pay you back.”

  “Good. Pay me back soon.” She hung up.

  I groaned. I’d made a royal mess with things by taking a loan from her, but I had been pushed against a wall. There was no one else I could have asked.

  Thirteen

  Brooke

  I needed to get some distance from Logan. He was like a magnet I couldn’t stay away from no matter how hard I tried. Being with him felt good, but it also scared me. I barely knew the guy, and now he thought I was just some easy lay. I mean, what kind of girl sleeps with a guy that soon? Sure, people had one night stands all the time, but this was different. For the next six months he was my neighbor. This could very easily turn into a friends with benefits thing if I wasn’t careful, and I knew my heart wasn’t going to handle that.

  So instead of focusing on the mess I made, I decided to do some digging about something else entirely.

  Driving into town. Thankfully, it was just as easy to find as I remembered. There was almost no traffic which was great, but it reminded me of what Logan had confided. The town was dying. It really was such a shame.

  I drove along the strip until I came to a sign that said in simple font: Forest Lake Museum. I assumed there wouldn’t be more than one. I parked, it was amazing to find such good parking. Parking was one of my least favorite things about city life. I headed inside.

  It was a dark interior, with blown up photographs and news clippings on the wall. I wanted to take a closer look, but I saw the gift shop off to the side and headed in that direction first.

  Gladys was at the desk looking through a book.

  “Hi, Gladys. I’m not sure if you remember me, we met—”

  “Hi, Brooke!” She gave me a broad smile. “How are you? I’m glad you decided to come by.”

  “This is some museum you have here. Although I didn’t get a chance to tour it all yet.”

  “I’d be happy to give you a guided tour, but what is that you have ther
e?” She pointed to the box in my hands.

  “Ok. So I probably shouldn’t have taken these out of the attic, but I couldn’t help it.” I was doing all sorts of out of character things. First sleeping with Logan, and now removing property that wasn’t mine?

  “If you’re careful with whatever you have then I’m sure it’s fine.”

  “I hope so.” I set the photos down. “I was going to ask Frank, but then I thought I’d start with you. Do you know who these people are?”

  She carefully picked up the first photo. “Oh, wow.”

  “Great, photo. Isn’t it?”

  “Yes. But I’m sorry, I don’t recognize them. I know I look old, but I wasn’t around in the 40s when my bet is these were taken.”

  “Oh. I wasn’t implying you were.” Oh geez. I hope I hadn’t insulted her. “It was more if these people were well known in the town. I know they may have been tourists, but then why were there pictures left here?”

  She lifted the pile. “Mind if I keep looking?”

  “No. Feel free.”

  I watched as she flipped through, treating each photo as if it was breakable. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who treasured old things.

  She finished and set them down with the first photo on top.

  “I found that sign in the attic too.”

  “Really?” Her eyes lit up. “I’d love to see it. You know I was hoping to expand the museum, add some more pieces.”

  “Well, you’ll have to talk to Frank about taking anything, but you are welcome to come by and look at them anytime. By the way, do you have any information here on the Fall Fair from this time period? Logan says he doesn’t remember a time with the rides and all that.”

  “Logan?” She grinned. “Huh? He’s a nice boy isn’t he?”

  “He is.” I could feel the blood rushing to my face. I really hoped she didn’t notice.

  “From a good family, too,” she added.

  “You know them well?”

  “Yes. His mother is one of the loveliest women I know.”

  “Does Jaylin take after her?” I was trying to picture what she looked like.