“Sure is,” said a man approaching their table, who introduced himself as the owner and greeted Madeline like a lifelong friend.
She sat back and listened to the two of them talk about Marchand Godet and what a fine man he’d been. It was obvious that Madeline’s love affair with her husband had never ended even though they were married for over forty years.
“We miss seeing you both,” the man said before excusing himself.
“You miss him a lot,” said Alegria.
“I do. March and I had a wonderful life full of grand adventures coupled with an easy enjoyment of day-to-day life. We didn’t agree about everything, not by a long shot, but we learned to compromise and, above all else, respect one another.”
That’s what she’d once wanted with Mantis, but it hadn’t worked. What was missing? The mutual respect? The willingness to compromise? And was that on his part or hers?
“When you meet your one true love, you know it. Even if you try to tell yourself he isn’t it, somewhere deep in your heart, you know he is.”
Alegria smiled. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
Madeline patted her hand. “Only you know the answers, my dear. Now, what sounds good for lunch?”
Between the two of them, they shared clam chowder, crab cakes, and fish and chips. By the time they were finished eating, Alegria’s stomach hurt, but her heart felt warm.
“Thank you for today,” she said as they wandered the shops of the historic downtown, buying things they both agreed they didn’t need but couldn’t pass up.
“Thank you for joining me,” Madeline said in response, putting her arm through Alegria’s. “I hope you’ll come back and visit often.”
Why hadn’t it ever been like this with her own mother? She couldn’t remember a single time the two of them spent the afternoon shopping or talking over a two-hour lunch.
Maybe it was because her parents, like Marchand and Madeline, were so in love that they forgot to share their affection with their daughter.
When Alegria felt her eyes tearing up, she shook herself. There was no point in thinking about things that couldn’t be changed. Instead she’d focus on the future and try to figure out what that meant.
Chapter 5
Dutch
“Where are you headed when we get back?” Dutch asked Mantis.
“I guess that’s up to Doc. I have a call scheduled with him after the briefing in the morning.”
“Are you going to take some time off?”
“I doubt it.”
“Why not?”
“What the hell else am I going to do, Dutch? Does it look to you like I have any kind of a life outside of work?”
Dutch understood exactly what Mantis meant. He’d been in the same position often enough in his life. He wanted to tell him he empathized, but since it was his fault Mantis’ life was so empty, at least romantically, he decided it best to keep his damn mouth shut.
There were so many times in the last ten years when he’d been the third wheel, the odd man out, the stray without anywhere to go and anything to do unless it was with Mantis and Alegria.
When they were all together at the academy, it had been easy. Their lives were so structured, and since all three were on the same schedule, Mantis and Alegria were good about including him in whatever plans they had.
Cadets were required to live in the dorms all four years, and their daily schedule didn’t allow for much free time.
Days were filled with classes and military training. Meal times were inflexible, and after dinner, their time was divided between the commandant and the dean.
As the commander in charge of their military training, the commandant “owned them” up until twenty-one hundred hours, when they became the property of the dean—which meant quiet study time.
The academics at the academy were rigorous. In fact, if it hadn’t been for Mantis and Alegria’s tutoring, Dutch probably would have been on academic probation most of his time there.
As they became upperclassmen, they were afforded more free time, but it certainly wouldn’t have been considered a generous amount of it. There were still curfews and room checks, and if a cadet fell behind in his or her studies, either academic or military, they could be confined to their quarters.
It wasn’t until they went off to pilot training in Texas and Dutch was sent overseas for his first assignment, that he realized how much he relied on the two of them for a social life.
He’d dated some while at the academy, but most often he preferred to be with Mantis and Alegria, partially because the three were best friends, and partially because he had loved her, heart and soul, for just as long as Mantis had.
He got jealous, like anyone would, but he had the choice to stay away, and he didn’t. Even then he’d take whatever Alegria was willing to give.
It was as true today as it had always been. Would she ever love him the way she loved Mantis? He didn’t think so. But was that good enough for him? He told himself it was, but for how long? For the rest of his life?
“Deep in thought,” Mantis commented.
“Like you, I have a lot to figure out when I get back.”
Mantis scrubbed his face with his hand. “I can’t do this, Dutch.”
“What?”
“I can’t be your wingman in your relationship with Alegria.”
“I get that,” he said, even though that’s what Dutch had always been for him.
Chapter 6
Mantis and Alegria
Mantis prepared himself for the argument he and Doc would have about when he’d be ready for another assignment. Tomorrow wouldn’t be too soon for him, but he knew Doc would insist he take time off.
For what, though? Like he’d told Dutch, other than work, his life was empty. He could spend a couple of days with his family in Connecticut since he didn’t show up for Christmas, but after that, what would he do?
When he came home after being in Afghanistan for so many months, his plan had been to try to work things out with Alegria. He’d had no intention of taking on anything other than flying for at least a year. Maybe longer.
When Doc offered him the K19 partnership, Mantis turned him down, not knowing whether he could commit to the firm when what he wanted to do more than anything was retire.
Within days, everything had changed. Alegria refused to talk to him about anything other than work. K19 had an op that required every team member’s support, including his, and then at the end of that mission, Alegria had been shot.
Dutch had been the one to find her, barely alive, in the woods that night. Even then, he hadn’t let on that the two of them were together.
“You and Dutch head home,” Doc said when they reached the end of their call.
What should be a simple thing to do, wasn’t. Where was his home? He had a lease on a condo in Santa Barbara, but was that home? In the absence of anywhere else to go, it would have to work until he figured out what he wanted to do next.
“Hey, Doc?”
“Still here.”
“Is that partnership at K19 on the table?”
“Holding it open just for you.”
“I appreciate it, and I think I’d like to take you up on it.”
“Glad to hear. You’re part of the K19 team family no matter what, but having you official is what we’d all prefer.”
They talked about what was involved in terms of paperwork, and what kind of money Mantis could plan to bring in. The next step was for them to meet and finalize the deal.
“Once we’re stateside, I’m going to Darien for a couple of days, and then I’ll head to Santa Barbara.”
“Sounds good. Say hello to your parents for me, and let me know when you’re in town.”
Mantis thanked him and disconnected the call. He’d really lucked out when, as a fledgling CIA agent, he’d been given his first assignment to work with Doc and the K19 team. They were honest, ethical, and as he’d said, they were a family.
When he came ou
t of the room where he’d made his call, Dutch was waiting.
“Transport is scheduled for thirteen hundred.”
Mantis checked his watch. That meant he had at least four hours to kill, and Mogadishu wasn’t known for sightseeing.
“I have some travel plans to arrange. I’ll meet you back at the airfield.”
“I was thinking we could grab something to eat.”
As much as Mantis wanted to turn Dutch down, if he was going to be a K19 partner, that meant he was going to have to work with the man. Not just Dutch, Alegria too. He had to figure out a way to co-exist with the two of them.
“Where are you headed?” Dutch asked when they sat at a table in the cafeteria.
“What do you mean?”
“You said you had travel plans to make.”
“Right. Goin’ to see the folks first, and then out to Cali to meet with Doc.”
“Does that mean you’re coming on board?”
Mantis nodded, and Dutch held out his hand.
“Congratulations,” he said when Mantis shook it. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”
When he first came back from Afghanistan, he’d talked to Dutch about his plans to retire. He hadn’t mentioned Alegria, but neither had Dutch.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“What’s that?” Mantis asked.
“I’ve known you a third of my life. More than that. I know you, Cassman, and I know what you’re thinking.”
“If that’s true, you wanna explain why you didn’t?”
“The truth?”
Mantis nodded.
“I figured she’d change her mind.”
“You thought I’d come back and Alegria would break things off with you.”
This time Dutch nodded.
Mantis leaned back in his chair. “You were wrong.”
“How do we work this?” Dutch asked.
“You tell me, man. How many years were you in love with her and somehow managed to spend time with us when we were a couple. I figure you know how to do this better than I do.”
“It’s different.”
“I don’t think it is.”
Dutch shrugged. “Time will tell. I just hope we can be friends again.”
“There was never a time we weren’t.”
“There was never a time you didn’t want to pummel me?” Dutch laughed.
“I didn’t say that, did I?” Mantis rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “Listen. I was pissed, okay? For a lot of reasons. I’m not gonna lie and tell you that I don’t wish you’d found someone else. Anyone else. But you didn’t, and that’s something I’m going to have to live with.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Nothing to say. She and I ended things, and then I was gone for a long time. Neither of you knew when or if I was coming back. I should probably thank you for taking such good care of her, but I’m not a big enough man to do that yet.” Mantis pushed his chair back and stood. “Dutch, you’ve been a good friend to me for many years. Fuck, you just saved my life. But I can’t talk about this anymore.”
“Understood.”
Mantis turned to walk away, but stopped and looked over his shoulder. “This was the last conversation we’re gonna have on the subject. It is what it is.”
“Roger that,” Dutch said as Mantis left the room.
—:—
“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” Alegria said to Dutch when they’d gotten the niceties of their telephone conversation out of the way.
“Shit,” she heard him murmur.
“Why did you say shit? You have no idea what I’m about to tell you.”
“Sorry, go ahead.”
Alegria didn’t have much of a French accent after all the years she’d been living in the States, but it came out when she was angry. If things escalated, she reverted to speaking the language.
“Je rentre chez moi.”
“To France?”
“Non! New York.”
“I didn’t realize you considered New York home.”
“I have nowhere else to go.”
She heard Dutch take a deep breath. “Where are you now?”
“Where you left me.”
“In Annapolis?”
She nodded.
“Alegria, are you still there?”
“Sorry. Yes. I’m still at the Godets’.” As nice as Gunner’s mother was, it wasn’t just that she was still staying in their guest house; it was more that when the time came for her to leave, she didn’t know where she’d go, and that left her feeling unsettled.
“There are other options.”
“What? To live with you?”
“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”
She stood and paced the room, cursing herself when she realized she was biting her nails.
“Can’t this wait until I get back? We’re flying into Reagan International. I’ll be to you an hour after we land.”
“We?”
“Mantis is flying from Reagan to Westchester.”
“He’s going to see his parents?”
“Manon?”
He so rarely called her by her given name, she didn’t know what to think. “Yes?”
“Do you want to see him?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, barely above a whisper.
“Come to the airport. See him before he goes to Darien.”
“Why?”
“Because I know you want to. Because you’ll feel better after you’ve seen him, and he will too.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll send a car. We’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”
“Dutch?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Thank you.”
By the time the driver showed up at noon the following day, Alegria had changed her mind about going to the airport at least a dozen times. Poor Madeline had listened to her talk herself in and out of it.
“Go,” she said, peering out the window when a car pulled in the driveway.
“I…”
“Just go.” Madeline gave her a nudge toward the door.
“Thank you,” she said, hugging her. “I know I haven’t been the most gracious guest.”
“You know what you are? You’re a treasured friend who is welcome here anytime.”
Alegria thanked her again and opened the door when the driver knocked. Right before she went outside, she turned around and kissed both of Madeline’s cheeks.
“Au revoir, mon amie.”
As indecisive as she’d been before, once Alegria was in the car, alone with the driver, it got much worse.
Had Dutch told Mantis she was meeting them at the airport? If not, what might his reaction be to seeing her there? Would he think she was there solely to see Dutch?
More troubling was why she wanted to see him so badly, and why Dutch had suggested she come.
Chapter 7
Dutch
“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” Dutch said to Mantis, and then laughed.
Mantis looked up from the book he was reading on his tablet. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing really. Alegria started a conversation with me a couple of hours ago using those exact words, and I didn’t react very well.”
Mantis looked back down at his book.
“She’s coming to the airport.”
“Okay,” he responded without looking up.
“To see you.”
Sure, it was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do, and if his instincts were right, things were going to get a hell of a lot harder for him in the very near future.
In the same way he often knew what Mantis was thinking, he could predict what Alegria was thinking too. When he’d heard the pain in her voice, the indecisiveness, he couldn’t do anything but ask her to come to the airport. If she really wanted to be with him, she wouldn’t have been talking about going “home” to New York. She would’ve assumed, like he had
, that they’d pick up where they’d left off before Christmas, and where he went, she would go too.
He’d gone as far as imagining the drive from Annapolis back to Newport News and where they’d stop along the way. When he realized he’d be back in time for New Year’s Eve, he’d made plans for that too.
Now he had to make different plans. Ones that a single man would make.
Chapter 8
Mantis and Alegria
What the fuck was Dutch up to? “You know, for someone in love, you sure as hell push her in my direction a lot.”
“It isn’t that.”
Mantis looked away from his book and met Dutch’s eyes. “What is it, then?”
“We’ve been best friends for close to fifteen years. At the end of the day, that’s what’s most important to me.”
“You can’t force it. People grow apart, Dutch. Whether you and Alegria are together or not, our friendship may never be the same as it once was. That’s life.”
When Dutch shrugged and looked out the window, Mantis looked back at his tablet. He’d read the same two paragraphs several times and hadn’t retained a single word. There was no point in trying to read when all he could think about was a beautiful French girl who had captured his eighteen-year-old heart.
He rested his head against the seat back and closed his eyes. He could hardly remember his life before she came waltzing into it.
Her ebony-black hair was pulled back into the tight bun required by Air Force regulations, highlighting her mesmerizing, almond-shaped, gray-blue eyes. She looked terrified, and rightly so.
Their squadron commander had briefed them on her arrival a week ago. Manon Mondreau had attended the École Spéciale Militaire de Saint-Cyr in Northwest France for a year, but was transferring to the Air Force Academy as a C3C, or third-class cadet, like he and his best friend, Tom Miller, were.
“Hi, I’m Gehring Cassman,” he said once her official introduction to the squadron was over. He’d slowly made his way closer to her so he could be the first to meet her personally. Tom, of course, was right on his heels.
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