“Manon Mondreau,” she said, shaking the hand he’d extended.
“This is Tom,” he said, wishing he could just ignore him but knowing that would be rude.
“Cadet Miller? A word,” said the commander.
Gehring said a silent prayer of thanks that Tom had been called away and he could talk to Manon alone.
“If you have any questions, want a tour, pretty much anything, just let me know.”
“Merci,” she whispered, and then smiled.
Gehring’s heart practically stopped.
God, he’d loved her. Still did, if he was honest.
He opened his eyes, shook his head, and tried once again to focus on his book. He glanced over at Dutch, who appeared to have fallen asleep, and breathed a sigh of relief. If he were awake, he’d ask Mantis what he was thinking about. That’s just how Dutch was.
He looked out of his own window at the clouds they were flying through, already anxious to get back into the cockpit himself. Thanks to Doc Butler, it wouldn’t be long before he was. Doc had left a message earlier, saying that Onyx was bringing one of the K19 planes to the airfield and he was welcome to fly it to Westchester.
He’d immediately confirmed, and when he asked about filing the flight plan, Doc told him it had already been taken care of.
There was really nothing like flying a plane—except sex—and that was totally different, although no less exhilarating.
Sex. Jesus. Now was not the time for him to think about sex. It had been way too long, longer than he wanted to admit even to himself, since he sank into the soft body of a warm woman. The truth was, he hadn’t been with anyone since the last time he and Manon were together. He couldn’t bring himself to imagine being intimate with anyone but her.
There was no more beautiful woman in the world as far as he was concerned. Everything about her heated him up. It wasn’t just her body he lusted after; it was her soul. Manon was complicated, sure, but she was also kind, lively, funny, and absolutely badass.
Her eyes could tell him a chapters-long story without her having to say a word. Her every expression was etched into his memory. Mantis knew when she was tired, but not sleepy. He knew when she was frustrated, when anyone else would think she was angry. Her smile lit up the darkest recesses of his soul, bathing him in the healing light only she could give him.
The thought of never holding her naked body in his arms again made him come close to losing his shit and driving his hand through the plane’s window.
Agony. That’s what being without her felt like. The worst agony he could ever imagine times ten thousand. Would the countless memories they’d made together ever fade, or would they haunt him for the rest of his life?
And Dutch? He wanted them to be the happy threesome they’d never really been. When the situation was reversed and he was with Alegria, Dutch had probably been as miserable as Mantis was now, but he’d hidden it well.
Could he be that man? Could he sit at the table with them, listen to her tell a story, and stop himself from pulling her into his arms and kissing her?
Could he watch as Dutch touched her, held her hand, stroked her cheek with his finger? What would he do if she and Dutch kissed? The idea alone made Mantis want to kill him.
He scrubbed his face with his hand and turned his head. Dutch was no longer asleep. His dark, hooded eyes fixated on him, letting him know Dutch knew exactly what he’d been thinking about.
—:—
This was a terrible idea. Why had she agreed to it? It was so much easier when she just avoided Mantis. Intentionally being here to welcome him home felt…awkward. Should she approach Dutch first? If Dutch kissed her, how would Mantis feel?
“Argh,” she growled and continued to pace the floor of the USO lounge.
“Alegria?” she heard someone say, and turned around to see Shiver Whittaker walking in with a woman who looked vaguely familiar.
“Hi,” she said, approaching them.
They kissed one another’s cheeks.
“This is my sister, Darrow. Darrow, meet Alegria. She’s with K19.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Darrow, who then looked at her brother. “Do you ever go anywhere without running into someone you know?”
“Rarely.”
Something was up with Shiver; Alegria could sense it, but with his sister here, she wouldn’t ask.
“Where are you headed?” she asked Darrow instead.
“My brother is dropping me off to stay with friends in DC. Where he’s going is always a mystery.”
“Why are you here?” Shiver asked.
“Dutch and Mantis are flying in from Mogadishu.”
Shiver raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t ask,” she said, looking away and then pulling out her phone when it vibrated. “They’ve landed.”
“Tell them we’re here.”
“Do you have plans? Maybe we could all have dinner?” Darrow suggested.
Shiver scowled but then nodded, making Alegria feel as though she wasn’t the only one in the room out of sorts.
“My friends won’t be back until tomorrow,” Darrow explained, “but my brother couldn’t wait another day to dump me here.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Shiver murmured, but Alegria got the impression that’s exactly how it was.
“Well, hello,” she heard Dutch say, and spun around to see the two men who had been her friends, her lovers, her everything for so many years. On their own, they took her breath away. Side by side, she nearly fainted.
They were close to the same height, over six feet, but Mantis was more muscular. His thick forearms looked tanned, contrasted against his starched, white shirtsleeves that were rolled up to just below his elbows. She thought she saw the hint of a tattoo she wasn’t aware he had just beneath the folds. His deep blue eyes penetrated hers so intensely, she had to look away.
Instead she looked over at Dutch, whose smile was more like a smirk.
“Get over here, girl,” he said in a teasing voice.
She walked into his arms and was relieved when all he did was hug and release her.
“Hi,” she said to Mantis and tentatively stepped closer to him.
They hugged as awkwardly as she anticipated it being, and then stepped back from each other.
“You know Darrow,” she heard Shiv say, and was surprised when both Dutch and Mantis took turns hugging her in a far warmer way than she’d experienced.
“I’ve just invited Alegria to dinner,” his sister told them. “Can you join us?”
Alegria hadn’t exactly accepted Darrow’s invitation, but when she saw Mantis nod and Dutch look at her hopefully, she murmured her agreement.
The only person who looked as uncomfortable as she felt was Shiver, and he looked more anxious than annoyed like she was.
Two hours later, her back hurt, but not as badly as her ego. It seemed both Dutch and Mantis had endless questions for Darrow, and all but ignored her. Alegria had been ready to leave at least an hour ago, but Dutch didn’t seem like he would be anytime soon.
“You okay?” Mantis asked, obviously noticing her scowl.
“I’m tired and my back hurts,” she told him, although she wasn’t sure he’d heard her since he was looking at his phone.
She pushed her chair away from the table. If Dutch couldn’t pay enough attention to notice, she’d see if there were any flights to New York she could catch tonight. She’d be just as alone in her Manhattan apartment as she felt here.
“Sorry,” she heard Mantis say and then felt his hand on her arm. “I needed to double-check the flight plan.”
“You’re flying to Westchester?”
Mantis raised his eyebrow. “I am.”
“Dutch told me,” she explained. “How are your parents?”
“Getting older, like we all are, but still as active as ever.”
“And your brother?”
“He and Theresa just had their fourth. A girl, I think.”
Alegria sh
ook her head and rolled her eyes.
“What?”
“A girl…you think.”
He shrugged. “You can blame my short-term memory loss on the Somalis.”
“It isn’t like you to blame anyone else for your shortcomings.”
He was looking at his phone again, which was her cue to walk away.
“Wait,” she heard him say. “I was looking for a photo.”
Mantis handed her his phone, and she looked at the picture of his two nephews and two nieces. The fourth was a girl, judging by the pink blanket she was swaddled in.
“I’m guessing you don’t know her name.”
Mantis smiled and shook his head. “In my defense, I’m heading there to see them now. That should count for something. By the way, when I get back, I’m signing a partnership agreement with K19. Will that be a problem?”
“Not at all. Congratulations,” she murmured, casting her gaze toward Dutch, who seemed enthralled by his conversation with Darrow and Shiver.
“He’s looked over a couple of times,” Mantis whispered.
Her head spun to look at him. “What?”
“He’s giving you space.”
Alegria huffed and then wished she hadn’t reacted at all.
“Better put, he’s giving us space.”
“What for?” she asked.
“To be friends…I think.”
She folded her arms, looked over at Dutch, and then back at Mantis. “I’m going to New York.”
“When?”
“Tonight, if I can get a flight.”
Mantis’ eyes bored into hers. “Why, Flygirl?”
She shrugged, and her eyes filled with tears. “Sorry,” she said, wiping at them. “I’m not feeling myself.”
“How’s the recovery going?”
“Far too slowly.”
“What’s the status of your medical clearance?”
Alegria looked away from him, hating how much of a girl she was being in that moment. “Stalled,” she whispered.
She hadn’t told anyone that the last time she saw the doctor, she didn’t have feeling in the sole of her right foot. Not Dutch, not Doc, and not her parents.
Mantis pulled her back into the chair and sat next to her. “What’s happening?”
“Isolated neuropathy.”
Mantis nodded. “Where?”
“Right plantar more than left, but there are issues with both.”
“I see,” he murmured, running his finger back and forth over his lips.
“I need to resume physical therapy.”
“Have you been in the air?”
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
She rolled her eyes for the second time. “Getting me into a plane hasn’t exactly been a priority for K19.”
“I’m sure it will be soon,” he murmured, studying her.
“You’re making me uncomfortable.”
Mantis nodded.
“You’re doing it on purpose?”
It took him a few seconds to respond. “I like looking at you,” he leaned forward and whispered. “I can’t help it.”
A shiver ran up her spine as she remembered the very first time he’d said those words to her.
“I’m failing aero,” he’d said, slamming his books down onto the table near her.
She’d come to the library to study for the same class he was complaining about, but not because she was failing. As it was, she had the best grade in the class and intended to keep it that way. If she had a prayer of getting a pilot-training recommendation from the École Spéciale Militaire de Saint-Cyr, her grades as well as her military record from the Air Force Academy had to be as perfect as she could possibly achieve. Even then, she’d be faced with almost unsurmountable opposition in the form of one Général de Brigade Aérienne Pierre Mondreau—her father.
One would think he’d be proud that she wanted to follow in his footsteps and become a pilot, but from the first she’d told him it was what she wanted to do, he’d adamantly refused to discuss it further.
With his endorsement, she would’ve been accepted regardless of her grades. Without it, she had a better chance of becoming the queen of France.
Alegria looked up at Gehring, seated across from her. He had his chin rested on his hand and was staring.
“What?” she said, wondering if she had something in her teeth or on her face.
“I like looking at you. I can’t help it.”
She smiled. “I’m not sure if that is a good or bad thing.”
“It’s a very good thing. At least for me. I could do it all day and night.”
It wasn’t unlike Gehring to flirt with her. Tom did too. But weren’t the three of them friends? Most of the time, she thought they were both teasing her, but sometimes, especially when she and Gehring were alone, she found herself wishing he was seriously interested in her in the same way she was in him.
“Hey, Gehring,” said another one of the female cadets, who walked by but then circled back and stood next to the chair he was seated in.
“Hey, Mel,” he said, not bothering to look up.
“A few of us are going to Cowboys later. We thought maybe you and Tom would want to come along.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he said, still not looking up.
“Okay. See you later.”
“I hate it when they do that,” he said once the cadet had walked away.
“When they do what?”
“Act like you’re not even sitting there.”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“It does, but you know why they do it, right?”
She shook her head.
“Because there isn’t a single woman at this academy who is even half as beautiful as you are.”
“You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” Mantis said, as though he could read her thoughts. “But you’re so much more than that.”
“Mantis—”
“No, I get it. You’re with Dutch now. I can’t say things like that anymore.”
Alegria nodded, but inside, the idea of never hearing words like those pass through Mantis’ lips broke her heart.
“So what about getting you back in the pilot’s seat?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It might be…”
“What?”
“Impossible.”
Chapter 9
Dutch
Dutch watched Alegria with Mantis and came to a decision. Whether either of them could admit they wanted him to, he had to walk away and give them a chance to see what was so obvious to him. They loved each other, and the only thing stopping them from falling into each other’s arms was her relationship with him.
He would’ve been better off leaving before he even saw her. That way, she could be pissed off at him instead of sneaking glances his way every now and then with a guilty look on her face.
There wasn’t a time he could remember when Alegria had looked at him the way she was looking at Mantis now. Everything between them had always been easy, up until they fought. Even then it was the depth of the passion they had for each other that made their disagreements so volatile.
His chest hurt when he thought back on how it was when they’d make up. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and while they did their best not to make him feel uncomfortable, then, like he was doing now, he’d make up some excuse why he had to leave.
He took his phone out of his pocket and sent a message to Doc. There must be some kind of op that would require his help.
No matter what the mission was that Doc came back with, Dutch would accept it. It didn’t matter how dangerous. Even if he got hurt, it couldn’t possibly feel worse than what he was experiencing right then, watching Mantis and Alegria fight the overpowering attraction they shared.
Chapter 10
Mantis and Alegria
The sadness Mantis saw and felt was something he could empathize with. Back when he was still in the Air Force, he’d need
ed surgery for a hiatal hernia. Even though it had been done laparoscopically, it took him longer than he’d anticipated to get back in the cockpit.
At the time, he’d been air wing operations officer and was required to deploy with his squadron whether he could fly or not.
The medical officer’s reluctance to clear him, he’d said, was due to his fear that Mantis wasn’t recovered enough to perform the anti-G straining maneuver, or AGSM, while in the aircraft. Not having adequate body strength in his abdomen meant he’d be unable to perform the maneuver, which could result in a G-force induced loss of consciousness, otherwise known as G-loc.
For several days, he was unsure when he would be cleared to fly again, if ever. The idea that his career as a fighter pilot might come to an abrupt end had terrified him. Flying defined him, as it did Alegria.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, not knowing what else to say.
She shrugged one shoulder and tried to put on a brave front, but he saw right through it.
“What are the two of you so deep in conversation about?”
“Alegria was telling me about her neuropathy,” answered Mantis. As soon as the words left his mouth, he caught the look that told him she hadn’t discussed this with Dutch.
His friend didn’t react other than to look into Alegria’s eyes. “It’s rough,” he murmured.
“There’s a program at NYU I’ve been researching,” she said, looking back and forth between them. “They’ve had promising results. Although no one will be back until the beginning of the second semester, in mid-January.”
“That’s not so long away,” Mantis encouraged.
“How long has it been since you’ve flown?”
Alegria’s question was rhetorical. He got that. He also recognized that it wasn’t very many hours ago he’d been anxious to get back in the air, and soon would be.
“Sorry,” they both heard Dutch mutter, looking at his phone.
Mantis (K19 Security Solutions Book 4) Page 4