“Josie, there was damage caused over time to the part of the plane that holds the wing on. This damage, it reduced the strength of the fitting to the post so that operational loads produced what we call an overstress fracture. Basically, because this one part was cracked already, it weakened to the point where it couldn’t withstand the force of the wing. These findings matched up with eyewitnesses who reported seeing one of the plane’s wings snap off midflight.”
We were silent, probably all imagining what it was like for them when that wing broke off. “Would you like me to stop?” he offered.
“No. Keep going,” said Jack.
“The pilot lost control. The plane rolled to the left, at which point it descended rapidly and went nose first into the water. There was nothing anyone could have done. Those were our findings.”
“You said it was a … lug lower ligament that caused it,” said Archie. “What is that?”
“Well, I guess you’d say it’s a bolt,” said Boddicker. He made a space with his thumb and finger. “’Bout this long. Not much bigger than your pinky, but when it wears out and nobody catches it…”
The size of a pinky … That’s what did all this.
“There’s a photo inside,” he said. “Number 17B. You can see it for yourselves.” I reached into the file and found the picture. He was right. It looked like an old bolt. Reminded me of the kind Daddy used to put together the IKEA bookshelves in my bedroom. Maybe even smaller. How could something so insignificant be the cause of something so big?
Harrison took the photo and studied it. He shook his head back and forth. “It had to be more than this. It had to. ‘Planes want to stay in the air.’ That’s what the pilot told me. They don’t want to crash. This was not enough. It had to be something more. What about Archie’s father’s job with the military? What about Mr. Clay’s dealing with the government? Who had access to the plane?”
“I looked into all that,” said Boddicker. “Just to be sure. After your emails raised those questions. I called around. Mr. Gallagher was a civilian. His job was mostly budgetary, ordering supplies, hiring other civilians. There was no connection to Mr. Clay or his law practice.”
I could see the disappointment on Archie’s face. “Budgetary,” he said.
“The lug was left in the plane too long. That’s the simplest way to explain it. It should’ve been replaced after a couple of years. We’re working to make certain that this sort of thing never happens again. We’re not sure how it got missed in the first place. We’ve gotten several different stories. There may never be an answer.”
“That’s not good enough!” said Harrison. “What aren’t you telling us? Why should we believe that this little—”
“I understand, son,” said Boddicker. “Believe me, I understand. It doesn’t seem possible. Or right.”
“How could you,” said Harrison. “How the hell could you understand?”
The agent removed his sunglasses and put them in his pocket. I was surprised to see that his eyes were red and moist. He dabbed at them with his sleeve. “The reason I didn’t answer your emails and why I took a leave of absence from the NTSB is that I also suffered a loss. My wife. We were married twenty-one years. Till lung cancer took her seven weeks ago. She was forty-eight years old. Never smoked a day in her life. I used to make fun of her for eating organic and never missing a workout. Try and explain that one to your kids. Or to yourself for that matter … You want to know how many times I asked the doctors for an explanation? Some reason. They had nothing. They told me over and over again that they couldn’t explain it. She got cancer. She died. It just is.”
He stared off into the water. “I wish I could give you a more satisfying answer. Damn, now I sound just like them. How I wanted to beat the hell out of those doctors every time they said that. Satisfying.” Boddicker took back the file. “I’ll leave you to it. Please call if you have more questions. Have a safe trip back. You seem like good kids. Take care of each other. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Yours, too,” said Archie.
Boddicker looked at him and nodded. Then he put on his sunglasses and walked back to the black car.
Good kids, he’d said. I’d never in my life felt less like a kid.
We watched the black car speed off until it disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” said Harrison. “I pulled you all into my stupid conspiracy theory and wasted your time.”
Archie walked away and sat in the sand, opened his sketchbook, and buried his head in it. Jack picked up a rock and hurled it across the beach with a yell. Harrison took off for the parking lot.
Dayana grabbed him. “Where are you going?”
“I was so sure,” he said. “I spent six months on this. I did all the research. The phone calls, the emails. I was convinced we’d find something, prove something. It was more than an accident. I was certain there was a reason. And if there was a reason, there was something we could do. If they were killed, then we’d find out who did it. We’d expose them. I’d do it for Mom. I’d make it right and people would know why she died and it would be for something. They would’ve died for something. And now it’s just a rusty bolt. It’s nothing. They died for nothing. It means nothing.”
I stood in the middle of that beach and watched them all dealing with the reality in their own ways. And as Archie drew and Jack fumed and Harrison retreated, I pictured us going home and going off in opposite directions, just like we’d been doing since we were kids. Harrison to his studies and Archie to his sketches. Jack and I, we’d be heading off to college. And Dayana, she’d be on the outside again. The thing that brought us here, all of us, was over. Our parents were dead. There was no mystery behind it. No secrets. The rest was just … life. We came together to find something and we didn’t find it. At least not what we thought we were looking for. But as I watched them all in their private pain, it hit me. Maybe we’d found something else.
“It wasn’t for nothing,” I called out. They all turned back. “There may not have been sabotage or murder; my father wasn’t involved in a government conspiracy; Archie, your dad was just a guy with a job. The crash wasn’t anything more than bad luck. There was no reason. But it did mean something. It had meaning.”
“What?” asked Harrison. “What did it mean?”
“This,” I said. “Us. The crash took Mom and Daddy. It took away our families. But it gave me the person I’m in love with. It gave me back my best friend. It gave me a new family.”
Archie dropped his pad and moved over to join me.
Dayana sniffled. “A new, fucked-up family.”
“Exactly. We might have no idea where we’re going or what’s gonna happen next, but we’re not doing it alone. And we’re definitely going to need every single one of you to figure out what the hell to do about this baby.”
Archie just looked at me for a long time. Why wasn’t he talking? It was killing me. “You can say something now.”
“Oh,” he said. “Right. I’m with you. I’m always with you.” I walked into his arms and he lifted my feet off the ground. There was no question we were going to make mistakes. Possibly big, catastrophic mistakes just like our parents did. They lied to us and they pushed us too hard. Or they didn’t understand us or listen enough. They weren’t perfect. They were people. But they loved us.
“We would so mess this kid up,” I said, laughing and crying at the same time.
“You won’t be doing it alone,” said Jack.
Archie laughed. “No, we’d all mess up that kid together.”
Dayana came and hugged us both. “Please. That little bastard would get the full fucking Sunnies experience.”
By now the sun was already halfway down into the water. We barely noticed as Harrison rolled up his pants and started walking right into the ocean. He went in up to his knees and then his waist. When he got to his chest and still wasn’t stopping, we finally started paying attention.
“What’re you doing, you freak?” Dayana called
out.
Harrison didn’t look back. He just kept walking, his head getting lower and lower until he was fully submerged. For a few seconds, there was no sign of him. We all looked around at each other. He was gone. There wasn’t even a ripple in the water where he’d gone under. As a suddenly panicked Dayana called Harrison’s name, Jack yanked off his shirt and sprinted down to the water. But just as he was about to dive in for a save, Harrison surfaced with a splash, spit out a large plume of water, and let out a primal scream.
“You little shit,” said Dayana, kicking off her shoes. She went charging in after him, did a face-first plunge, and came up with her hair matted down and makeup running off her face. She jumped on Harrison’s back and dunked his head under. Jack gave me a shrug and then he ran in, too, doing a front flip into a wave. When he came up, Dayana started splashing him and soon he fought back, laughing and splashing her and Harrison.
Archie and I met each other’s look.
“We’re really gonna do this?” he asked.
“We’re really gonna do it.”
“Then let’s do it.”
He tossed his glasses in the sand and took my hand. We sprinted into the ocean to join our friends—our family. When we were deep enough, we dove under the water together, and together, we popped back up.
EPILOGUE
DAYANA
I won’t pretend I wasn’t sweating it out those last few weeks before graduation. I was a fucking wreck and a half. I barely slept, and I’m sure I was not my usual delightful self to be around. Poor Harrison took the brunt. But as much as I wanted to smoke, drink, or swallow something to lower my anxiety level from a 10 to a 9.9, I resisted. I’d come this far. That last semester, I’d kicked more academic ass than I had in my whole high school career. Got my averages up to a rock-solid C plus. Living in the room right next door to Harrison certainly didn’t hurt.
The guidance counselor, Ms. Bryson, who’d spent four years calling me hopeless, called me into her office one day and informed me that I’d passed with room to spare. “Fuck yeah, I did!” I screamed out. And for a second there, I was afraid she was going to change her mind. But instead she hugged me and told me she was proud of me.
I woke up the morning of graduation and put an extra streak of RBHS red in my hair to commemorate the occasion. I even left the lip ring at home out of respect. Still kept the two in my eyebrow, of course. Couldn’t let Mami be too happy, could I?
I sat there with the other 327 members of the senior class on the hot and humid turf field in my metal folding chair, wearing my polyester cap and gown and my favorite combat boots. Principal Walters stood at the lectern on the fifty-yard line and welcomed family, friends, and the graduating class of 2020. As she droned on with her opening remarks, I looked down the end of my row to where Jack and Josie were sitting. I rolled my eyes and Josie pretended to stifle a yawn. I saw her look behind me and I followed her gaze to Archie, sketching away with a small pencil on the graduation program. I loved seeing her happy.
When we’d landed in New Jersey after leaving Anguilla, Josie made good on her promise. “Let’s go to the police station,” she said.
“Now? Are you sure?” asked Jack.
“Now,” she said.
“I’ll order the car,” said Archie.
Jack, Archie, Harrison, and I sat in the waiting area while she gave her statement to the police. She walked out of the interrogation room and Archie gave up his seat for her.
“Is it done?” I asked.
“It’s just getting started,” she said. “But that’s okay. I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”
Coach Murphy was arrested that night and Josie never wavered in telling her story. And we were all with her, at every step.
“And now, without any further ado, I’d like to introduce our first speaker of the day. He’s a very impressive young man who had to overcome a great deal this year. The entire RBHS community is proud to welcome Harrison Rebkin … your class salutatorian.” The applause through the stadium was quiet and respectful.
“Harrison! Wooo!” I yelled as loudly as I could. Everyone looked in my direction, but I didn’t care.
Jack and Josie joined in.
“Yeah, baby!”
“Go get ’em, H!”
From the side of the stands, I heard another loud yell. “Go Harry!” I turned around to see Mr. U, the custodian, wearing a tie and cheering his head off for Harrison.
Harrison walked up to the microphone and tried not to laugh. Just as he was about to speak, we started a second wave of screaming and cheering until Principal Walters silenced us with death stares.
Harrison reached for the mic and opened his mouth, but the PA system squealed with feedback. He backed away until the ear-piercing noise stopped. The stadium was silent, other than the sound of people fanning themselves with programs and a few stray coughs. Harrison approached again and this time his voice was clear and solid. “I had a Plan, with a capital P,” he began, speaking without any notes. “The Plan was formulated when I was a little boy and my mother and I worked it out to the smallest detail. The Plan dictated how I would study, what activities I would participate in, how I would live my life in pursuit of certain goals. My mother and I spent every day of my life working to achieve those goals, working on that Plan.” He paused and looked out at the crowd. “You all probably know that before this school year even started, that Plan crashed and sank into the Caribbean Sea. Today, I look out into the bleachers and I see some empty seats. Five empty seats, one of which belonged to my mother.”
At the end of the aisle, Jack handed Josie a tissue from his pocket as Harrison’s voice echoed across the field.
“Today is different than I expected. Everything is different than I expected. Mom isn’t here. My father turned out not to be the man I hoped he’d be. I didn’t get into Harvard. I’m not the valedictorian.” He took another pause and this time looked down across the lectern to the other special guest on the stage. “I would like to say congratulations to Mackenzie Markowitz, who deserves to be sitting there. I have to admit, I thought I could best her, but she was too strong, too determined. Don’t feel sorry for me, though, because she’s my girlfriend now and that’s better in so many ways.”
Mackenzie’s cheeks turned bright red as the senior class erupted in laughs and murmuring. But I could see by the way she smiled at Harrison that she kinda loved it. Principal Walters stood up and put an angry shush finger to her lips, quieting the stadium.
Just as everyone settled down again, I let out another even louder “Hell yeah!”
Harrison gathered himself and took a few seconds to look over all of us in the folding chairs. “Traditionally, graduation speakers are supposed to deliver some sort of wisdom or helpful advice. I can’t say that I have much of either to impart to you, although I feel as if I’ve lived more this year than I did in the seventeen years before it. The truth is, I am still attempting to figure things out in my life. Unlike Mackenzie Markowitz and most of you sitting here—and Harrison Rebkin ten months ago—I don’t have a Plan. But believe it or not, I’ve come to embrace that. After years of avoiding surprise and uncertainty at all costs, I like that I don’t know. I like that I get to choose and make mistakes and take detours and get lost. Because when I do that, there’s a chance I’ll find even better things along the way.”
He turned his head to address Jack, Josie, Archie, and me directly. “One thing my dad did was introduce me to some classic rock, like the Beatles. John Lennon once said, ‘Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.’ One of my best friends has a way with words and I think she’d phrase it this way: ‘Life is what happens to you when The Plan gets royally fucked.’” As a shocked and horrified buzz erupted from the crowd, Harrison gave me a big old, cheesy grin.
Once the speeches were over, Principal Walters read the names of the graduates. I tapped my foot waiting for him to get to me.
“Dayana Osanna Calderón.”
I clicked my boots and walked up the stairs to the stage. As I got up there, I peered out into the stands. A few rows up, Mami was sitting by herself, tears running down her face. I started across the stage when a loud whistle cut through the stadium. I turned to see Papi, wearing a tan suit and rushing up the bleachers with two fingers in his mouth. He’d come directly from work and he’d arrived just in time. He kissed Mami and slipped an arm around her as they both cheered like maniacs. I was so distracted by them, I almost forgot to walk over and take my diploma. Principal Walters had to repeat my name to get me moving.
I was heading back to my front row seat when Jack and Josie received their diplomas. Jack went first, shaking hands with the football coach on his way to the stage. Josie walked up right after him, the slightest bit of belly showing through her gown. I heard some tittering behind me.
“They should give her an extra tiny diploma for the baby.”
I turned around in my seat and flashed my teeth at Siobhan. “Hi there. Before we leave this place forever, I just wanted to say you’re a horrible, judgmental bitch and Josie was always too good for you. That’s all. Sign my yearbook later?”
When the ceremony was over and we’d tossed our caps, we all gathered near the bleachers. Harrison was stuck in an awkward conversation with Mackenzie Markowitz’s father. Jack and Josie’s grandparents were chatting with some of Archie’s relatives. Their smiles looked just a bit stiff.
Archie picked up his cap and stuck it on Lucas’s head. “As soon as we’re done with dinner, I’ll take you to Aunt Sarah’s to pick up the rest of your stuff.”
“You sure? I mean, if you’re moving into Josie’s house—”
“We want you there. Stop trying to talk me out of it.”
Josie popped her head in. “It’s a big house. It’s supposed to have a family in it.”
Papi rushed over and picked me up in his arms. “Who is better than my little girl? No one. So sorry I was late. I kept trying to get out of the meeting, but the client wouldn’t stop asking questions.”
The Year They Fell Page 27