Solace (Asteria Trilogy Book 1)

by Alaina Katherine

  “Um, it’s a little weird that you guys followed me in here.”

  “It’s obvious you weren’t actually going to use the bathroom.” Gabriel actually rolled his eyes and I had to stifle a laugh.

  “So what’s up?” Sera inquired.

  If I outright lied Gabriel would know.

  “Being here just shows me what I could have had, you know? I just needed a minute to compose myself before putting up a front for my parents.”

  Sera’s blue eyes looked at me with understanding, though she of course was never in this situation herself. If someone else had looked at me that way, I would have gotten angry, but that was impossible with Seraphil. She looked so sincere and I allowed her to pull me into a hug.

  “You know, the boys could step out if you need a minute.” I knew what she was implying. It would be nice if I could be completely alone, but we all knew that was impossible.

  “I’m fine now, really.”

  Gabriel, as always, looked hesitant about my answer, but he must not have sensed anything too crazy because he opened up the door and we all piled out of the small room.

  Since my parents weren’t aware of the company we had with us, we sat at a booth that only fit four. Gabriel sat at the edge of my booth and the others found places around the room to stand. Sometimes I wondered why they didn’t make themselves visible in situations like this. It would have been easier for them to just get a table and order food like a normal person. Then they wouldn’t have to worry about avoiding other people.

  I let my parents do most of the talking. They updated me on what was going on back in Miami, which classmates of mine they had run into and how their lives were progressing. It was good that they had so much to tell me, because there wasn’t much that I could share with them. Anything I did share I had to make up, I felt like the worst daughter ever when I lied to them.

  I chose to focus on the happiness I felt about finally being able to see my parents again and Asteria’s happiness about the wellbeing of the people around me. And the darkness stayed away.

  Chapter Fifteen

  As I approached Michael and Gabriel’s house I heard yelling. Well not exactly yelling, more like raised, stern voices. Brian was still missing and everyone was working hard to try and find him, but Michael still wanted to keep our date. And I understood completely. Actually, I was probably the only one who would understand since the both of us shared a bond with Brian.

  We had discussed postponing our date, but Michael insisted that we both deserved to have fun. I had been spending most of my time either in training sessions, trying to force visions to learn Brian’s whereabouts, or moping about my failure to find Brian. Michael had spent all of his time trying to find Brian. While I was not allowed to leave Aether, Michael had spent most of his time away from it. He had been on Terra searching for him. He tore every inch of his apartment apart in hopes of getting lucky and finding even the smallest clue. We both were stressed beyond our limits.

  I leaned in close to their front door to listen in on their argument. I knew I probably should have gone back home and waited for Michael to pick me up as planned, but I was too intrigued. By the sound of the argument, Michael had just told Gabriel about our date.

  “There is no way you can take her out of Aether without me!” Gabriel roared.

  “There is no way I’m going on a date with you tailing along!”

  “Great! Don’t go on the date.”

  “Like that’ll happen.” Michael laughed. “We’ve had this planned for weeks; I’m not cancelling on her.”

  “Weeks?” I winced, Gabriel sounded hurt and I knew why. Not only had his best friend not told him, but I had hidden it from him as well. “You both kept this from me for that long?”

  “Gabriel,” Michael started but seemed to come up short for words. I’m sure he knew just how badly we had hurt Gabriel.

  “If I hadn’t seen you getting all dressed up and asked where you were going, neither of you would have ever told me!”

  I wanted to go inside and try to explain to Gabriel, but I wasn’t supposed to be hearing this conversation in the first place. And I honestly wasn’t sure I would be able to find words to appease him. Or any words at all for that matter.

  “Just don’t take this out on her. I promised her I would tell you, but it turned out to be a difficult task.” Michael’s voice was filled with remorse.

  “That doesn’t really help, Michael,” he spat. “It doesn’t even matter that you didn’t tell me. You are not going.”

  “I’m an adult. You cannot tell me what to do. You can’t tell Sage what to do either, at least not always.” His tone was harsh again.

  “It’s my job to protect her.”

  “Right, to protect her from harm, not from a date.”

  “No, to protect her from everything.”

  “I can protect her just as well as you can.” His voice softened again.

  “Clearly, you cannot protect her from heartbreak,” Gabriel seethed.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “We both know your track record with women.”

  “You can’t cover up you’re jealousy by saying you are protecting her and then try to insult me.” Michael snapped.

  “My jealousy?” Gabriel sounded incredulous.

  “Oh, don’t even try to deny it. I see how you look at her, all the time. You know, just because she isn’t looking at you, doesn’t mean other people aren’t. So if you wanted to hide it you better realize that.”

  I think I actually let out a gasp at Michaels words. I heard footsteps retreating upstairs and took a peek through the window. I got a quick glimpse of Gabriel’s back before he disappeared upstairs. I decided to walk around the block before going back and knocking on the door. I wanted to give them both time to cool off and also not have them suspect me of overhearing any part of that argument.

  As I raised my fist to knock on the door it was yanked open. Gabriel almost ran into me on his way out of the door but stopped about an inch away from me, Michael was right behind him.

  “Gabriel, will you stop,” Michael stopped speaking as soon as he saw me.

  With distaste in his eyes Gabriel looked down at the light pink dress I had worn for my date. He took a step to the side to move around me. When he finally met my gaze, I saw flash of hurt but it was quickly replaced by angry flames.

  “Have fun,” he spat as he turned to walk down the pathway from his house.

  “Gabriel,” I started to try to apologize, but he took off into the air, where we both knew I couldn’t follow him. I swallowed the lump in my throat before turning to Michael. “So I guess it didn’t go well.”

  “Not in the slightest.” We both stood there staring awkwardly at our feet for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say.

  “Well, the point of our date was to relax and have fun right? Gabriel probably needs time anyways, so we should enjoy ourselves and deal with him later.” The words felt wrong as they rolled off my tongue, but I knew that was really our only option.

  Michael gave a half hearted smile before saying, “You’re right.”

  “So, where to?”

  “It’s a surprise, but I’m sure you’ll love it.” He held out his arms as an invitation for me to climb in them for the flight.

  “Should you blindfold me?” I joked.

  “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure you won’t recognize where we are going.” He laughed. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and mentally prepared myself for flying. Even though I have flown a few times by now, it still terrified me. The wind whipped my hair around my face as we took off and I closed my eyes so I wasn’t tempted to look down.

  “You can open your eyes now.” Michael chuckled. Déjà vu, I thought. Someone else had said those very same words after my first flight with him. I pushed down the knot in my stomach and tried to forget about Gabriel for now.

  I took in my surroundings as Michael placed me on the ground. Well, not the ground but r
ather a roof.

  “I know you’re scared of heights, but I think you’ll enjoy this view.” Michael took my hand and started walking.

  Tables draped in white tablecloths were scattered around the roof. There was not an empty table in the room except for the one that Michael was guiding me towards. The table was on the edge of the roof, but there was a half wall which definitely helped ease my fear. What helped even more was the view. In the distance was the Eiffel Tower lit up in the black night.

  “It never even occurred to me that we could potentially go to another country.” I was grinning ear to ear as I took my seat, my gaze never leaving the Eiffel Tower.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that.” Michael had on a smile of his own. A waiter came over to bring us menus and lit a small candle in the middle of the table.

  “Everything is in French,” I whispered, unsure of how I was going to order food.

  “I know many languages. Lucky for you, French happens to be one of them.”

  As Michael went through translating the menu for me, I noticed the tendrils poking out from the table next to ours. My brain went through a series of curse words before closing my eyes and focusing on the sound of Michael’s voice. French sounded very nice coming from his mouth. I took a deep breath before opening my eyes. I risked a glace over at the table, the tendrils had disappeared. Maybe I can handle this.

  “Anything sound good?”

  “All of it! Except for the snails and frogs, I’m not too big on the idea of eating those.” I scrunched up my nose.

  “They aren’t as bad as you’d think, but I’m not a fan none the less.” Our waiter came back and Michael ordered for the both of us so I wouldn’t butcher the French language.

  “So, was it nice to see your parents?”

  “It was really nice. I miss them sometimes.”

  “I liked them, they are interesting. Maybe one day you can meet mine.” I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to hint at anything or not.

  “It’s so strange to me to think of you all having parents. I never see you with them and you never really talk about them.”

  “Yeah, by now we are pretty independent from them; younger angels stay around their parents more.”

  “Are you on good terms with yours?” I questioned.

  “Oh definitely. When I was younger I did give my dad a little trouble, but we’ve worked through that.”

  “Are angels good at dealing with conflicts with each other?” I couldn’t help wonder about both of us fixing things with Gabriel and Michael seemed to have caught on.

  “Yes, we are actually. Don’t worry.” He reached across the table to cup my chin with his hand.

  “I’ll try not to,” I promised before we changed the subject. For the rest of the night, we stayed away from the topic of Gabriel. Instead, Michael told me stories of what he was like when he was younger, he even included Azrael in a few that I was going to have to tease her for later (such as they were each other’s first kiss and it had gone horribly wrong). We sat at the table for far too long and the waiters were constantly sending glares our way so we decided to end our evening.

  “I hope you had a good time,” Michael said as we stood in front of my house, my hand in his.

  “I really did.” I beamed up at him. It was the first time in weeks that I had forgot about my Goddess duties and the terror surrounding us. When Michael closed the distance between us, I knew what his intentions were and I tilted my face up to meet his lips. His arms circled around me, with no indication of letting go and I let my hand wander up behind his neck to pull him even closer. We stayed outside kissing until my lips were raw and I broke away.

  “Goodnight, Michael,” I whispered before planting one last, small kiss on his lips.

  “Goodnight, Goddess.” The corner of his mouth tugged up slightly. He stood on my sidewalk until I had shut the door behind me.

  As soon as I had taken my hand off the doorknob I knew I wasn’t alone in my home. A knot grew in the pit of my stomach as I walked into my bedroom and turned on the light. I knew who I would find sitting in the corner.

  “Gabriel.” My voice was small as I said his name. My hand flew up to my lips which surely were bright red from all the kissing I had just been doing. I was afraid he would yell at me, or even worse, turn his sad eyes upon me.

  “I shouldn’t have let you go alone. I failed.” I was taken aback at his words. “I let my emotions get in the way of your safety. I will never forgive myself.”

  “There is nothing to forgive,” I whispered. I walked closer to him, slipping off my shoes in the process. “I was with Michael. You knew I was safe.” He was shaking his head though and he had yet to look at me.

  I bent down until I was level with his eyes and I gently grabbed his chin to lift his face, forcing him to look at me. His gaze pierced my heart, there was so much hurt in it.

  “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.” I choked back tears. Gabriel roughly, almost frantically crushed my face between both of his hands.

  “If something had happened tonight,” It sounded like now Gabriel was the one choking back tears.

  “But nothing did,” I assured him. “Forgive me?”

  “There is nothing to forgive,” he repeated my words with a sigh and I crawled into his lap and he wrapped his arms around my torso. I breathed in his scent and allowed him to untie the knot that had built up in my stomach. I closed my eyes, tempted to fall asleep right there but something was wrong.

  I opened my eyes again just in time to watch a tendril wrap around my neck.

  “No!” While clawing at my neck, I jumped up from Gabriel’s lap and proceeded hitting the smoke around me. A strong tendril got hold of my forearm and I spun to smack it away but stopped short when I saw that it was Gabriel’s hand around me. My eyes were wide and crazed and my hair stuck to the back of my neck where a small coating of sweat had broken out. I took in gasping breaths, my chest rising and falling heavily as I tried to control myself.

  “What just happened, and don’t lie to me this time.” His words weren’t harsh, just filled with concern.

  It would be impossible to lie to him now, for so many reasons. The obvious being that there was no way I could explain what had just happened in a lie. The second was that after what we had went through tonight, I couldn’t stand to do it. So I told him. I explained as best I could all of the times that the darkness had shown up. I explained how it would show up unexpectedly, trapping me until it could wrap itself around me. And how I was afraid that it would smother me completely and I would no longer have control of myself.

  Ever since I told Gabriel about the darkness, he refused to leave my side. I was back to feeling like a burden again, but I needed him. Every time I started swatting at air he would grab my wrists and bring me back to reality. At his touch the dark tendrils always disappeared. His voice reminded me that they weren’t real in the first place.

  Gabriel spent every night laying next to me, but still never touching me except to smooth his hand once over my hair as he whispered goodnight to me with his strange words.

  Once it was pretty clear my sadness wasn’t just going to go away, Gabriel decided I needed to talk to Uriel about it. I hoped there was some magical cure that Uriel had. I was exhausted all of the time and was of no use in my current state. I had even turned down many of Azrael’s invitations to relax at the lake.

  “It’s not really surprising that you would struggle with this, Sage. A lot of people are suffering and dying, people that Asteria created. We all know how strong her love is for them, it’s understandable. I wish I could have seen you before today though, I would have instantly known something was wrong. You have the same weight in your eyes as Asteria did on the day Lucifer began his slaughter.”

  I actually had gone to The Archives a couple of times but every time I came Uriel was always busy on Terra with the prophets.

  “So is there something that will help?” Gabriel’s voice was urgent. I kn
ew as a side effect of my suffering, he was suffering as well. Of course, that is not why he was so concerned. He would never think twice about the fact that I was causing him pain.

  “Well, you of course are one of the best cures she’s got, but I do know a tea that might help balance the endorphins in her brain.”

  “Whoa, look at you with your fancy words,” I joked.

  Uriel smiled before leaving Gabriel and I alone for a few moments while he went to make the tea. As we stood there waiting my legs became extremely tired and I decided to sink down to the floor.

  “Sage,” Gabriel said kneeling down next to me.

  “I’m fine. Just tired.” Gabriel sat himself as well while we continued to wait.

  We were both sitting cross legged on the floor when Uriel joined us again. He looked down at us, shrugged his shoulders, and joined us on the floor. It seemed to take a lot of effort for him to sit down though, he had to place a hand on his back and let out a groan in the process.

  “Not as easy as it used to be I suppose!” he laughed. “Here.”

  He handed me a giant jug of dark green liquid. I opened the top to take a sniff and immediately regretted it.

  “That’s foul.” I quickly replaced the lid.

  “I promise it tastes much better than it smells. You should only drink it in the morning, after you wake up. Do not drink it before bed, it’s quick to find its way to the bladder and you will constantly be getting up throughout the night.”

  “Wonderful,” I muttered.

  “Thank you, Uriel,” Gabriel said getting up and stretching out his hand to help Uriel up as well.

  “If you need anything else just let me know,” Uriel said before giving a quick bow of his head and walking off.

  The next morning I had to take the plunge and drink six ounces of the tea as Uriel had prescribed. Gabriel measured and poured it for me in a solid cup so that I wouldn’t be able to see the color. I pinched my nose and closed my eyes as I brought the cup to my lips. Uriel had not lied though, the taste was much better than the smell. It was sweet and floral and not at all unpleasant.