If Only In My Dreams (Seven Brides Seven Brothers Book 5)

by Calhoune, Belle

  “Rose. I’m going to take your silence to mean yes. Yes, you’ll go out with me. Yes, you’ll find a sitter for AJ.”

  She crinkled her nose. “I’m not sure about the sitter thing. There’s this woman I’ve used from time to time, but she gets sleepy at night, which means AJ is up all by his lonesome.” Rose bit her lip. “And then if something serious happened like a fire, she’d be useless.”

  Brandon held up his hands. “Whoa. Let’s not allow our imaginations to run wild. Fires are worst case scenario. No worries. I’ll take care of the sitter.”

  “That’s sweet, Brandon, but I don’t want a stranger to stay with AJ. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that,” she admitted.

  Brandon smiled at her. “Oh these sitters aren’t strangers. Just trust me, Rose. I’ve got it all under control.” And he did. He had two perfect sitters, both of whom were Donahues. Both of whom owed him big favors.

  He glanced at his watch. The car service was no doubt waiting for him downstairs. “I have to run, Rose. I have to get to this meeting.” He reached for her hand and raised it to his lips. “Till Wednesday.”

  “Till Wednesday,” Rose murmured, her full, ruby lips curving upwards in an enchanting smile. As he sauntered back to his office to grab his briefcase and a few pages of notes, he found himself humming a happy tune. On his way out of the office several employees shot him perplexed gazes. He knew exactly why. They weren’t used to seeing him like this. Light hearted. Whistling as he walked down the corridor. Smiling till his cheeks ached.

  They better get used to it, Brandon thought. Spending time with Rose and AJ was transforming him. Change was in the air, and he was welcoming it with wide open arms.

  **

  On Wednesday night Rose fidgeted in the kitchen while she waited for Brandon’s arrival. She didn’t dare get something to drink in case she spilled something on her new dress. It had been a last minute purchase this afternoon at a boutique in town. The salesperson had gushed about how marvelous a fit the dress was on her. Made of velvet, the burgundy dress showed off her tiny waist and flattered her figure. The lace accents on the back elevated it to a fashionable pick. Pairing it with a pair of silver, high-heeled shoes had been a smart choice.

  She wasn’t nervous about tonight. Or was she? It wasn’t nervousness she felt skittering through her bones. It felt like anticipation. She let out a giggle. She was acting like a kid on Christmas morning anticipating the presents under the tree. Was Brandon her gift? The one she’d been praying for all this time? Baby steps, she reminded herself. The likelihood of this flirtation with Brandon turning into anything serious was slim to none.

  At approximately six-thirty the doorbell rang. AJ ran to get it while she checked the kitchen to make sure it was stocked with AJ’s favorites. She heard him shout out a loud “Yes!” which usually indicated his satisfaction with a video game score or his favorite movie was playing on television. The sound of several male voices piqued her curiosity. As she walked towards the living room she stopped short at the sight of both Mac and Wyatt standing next to Brandon. AJ was running around showing them his X box set up and practically bouncing off the walls with excitement.

  “Good evening, everyone,” she said, drawing their attention in her direction. Three pairs of male eyes gazed at her with appreciation.

  “You look…wonderful,” Brandon said, his voice brimming with enthusiasm.

  “You look terrific,” Mac said, bobbing his head up and down.

  “Wow,” Wyatt said in a raised voice. Brandon jabbed him in the side and gave him a warning look.

  “So…are you two babysitting AJ?” Rose asked.

  “Yes, we are. And we’ve come fully prepared,” Wyatt said, holding up a burlap bag.

  “What have you got there?” Rose asked, craning her neck to get a better look at the bag’s contents. She spotted a board game and a bag of Cheetos. It was a good start as far as she was concerned.

  “Games. Snacks. Books. You name it, we thought of it,” Mac said, a pleased expression etched on his face.

  Aww. Mac and Wyatt were incredibly sweet. And so was Brandon. He’d lined them up for babysitting duty. AJ was crazy about all the Donahue brothers, so it was no great surprise to see him grinning from ear to ear. No doubt he was anticipating the best babysitters in his life.

  “So what do you think of your sitters?” Rose asked AJ. Even though she knew the answer, she wanted to hear him say it out loud.

  “They’re awesome, Mom. Tonight is going to be epic!” AJ announced, earning him a smattering of laughter from the adults. Rose reached out and nuzzled the top of his head with her palm. Sometimes she just wanted to reach out and smother him with kisses. But, given the three men standing in the living room, she knew it wasn’t the right moment for such a motherly act.

  “Rose, we should get going. I have a car waiting for us outside,” Brandon announced. Rose looked at him and nodded, silently admiring how handsome he looked in his long, black coat and fancy dress shoes. “I’ll just get my coat.” She stepped out into foyer and reached for her coat from the mahogany coat rack by the front door. Just as she reached for it, Brandon stepped forward and took if off the rack, holding it out for her so that all she had to do was place her arms in the sleeves.

  AJ rushed forward and threw himself against her middle and hung on tightly. “Have a great time, Mom. And stay out as late as you want.” Rose smirked at her son’s sentiment. It was clear he wanted to spend as much as possible with the Donahue boys. She met Brandon’s amused gaze. They both shook their heads and chuckled.

  Once they were outside they walked toward the limo where the driver was standing ready to open the door for them. Brandon gently placed his hand on her back and assisted her inside the car. Rose didn’t want to admit it to Brandon, but it was her first time in a limo. She sat back against the cushions and luxuriated, basking in the special moment.

  “Where are we going?” she asked Brandon as he settled in next to her.

  “All shall be revealed,” he said, his eyes glinting with mischief.

  She nodded her head at him approvingly. “A man of secrets. I like that.”

  As the limo sped down tree-lined streets lit up with Christmas lights, Rose and Brandon talked about sports and pop culture and their favorite books. Rose couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so at ease in another person’s company. Brandon seemed to be knowledgeable about every topic under the sun. He was intelligent, but he wasn’t the sort to throw it in anyone’s face. Just hearing him give his opinion on a subject made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. She liked listening to him—the deep timbre of his voice, the way he furrowed his brow when he was serious about a subject and the thoughtful ideas he expressed.

  By the time the limo came to a stop, Rose had no idea where they were. She’d been so engrossed in her conversation with Brandon that she’d forgotten to look outside the windows. The limo door opened with a flourish, and once Brandon got out he extended a hand and helped her make a graceful exit. When she got out, she let out a gasp. The aquarium she regularly visited with AJ had been transformed into a winter holiday wonderland. Bright lights decorated the façade of the building while a twinkling Christmas tree towered above them.

  “This place looks beautiful,” Rose gushed, awed by the transformation.

  “It’s an annual fundraising event they have here during the holidays. To raise money for the aquarium, people bid on formal dining experiences with the animals. I bid on dinner with the penguins, which means we’re going to be eating in full view of them.”

  Brandon’s announcement made her feel like a kid again. They would be dining while watching the penguins in their enclosure. She let out a laugh and clapped her hands together. It was perfect! She should have expected nothing less from Brandon Donahue.

  “I love it. And the fact that all the proceeds are going right back to the aquarium makes it even better. It’s one of my favorite places,” Rose said.

  “Mine too,” Brand
on said as he took her arm and led her through the doors of the aquarium. “I used to love coming here as a kid. It’s come a long way since then.”

  Rose stopped in her tracks as she spotted a plaque on the wall with Brandon’s name on it. She grinned at him. “Something tells me you’ve had a lot to do with it.”

  “It’s a worthy cause.” He shrugged. “It’s important to give back, especially to the places that gave so much to me.”

  “It’s beautiful here,” Rose said as she looked all around her at the holiday decorations. Everything had a nautical theme. Lighthouses decorated in Christmas themes. Wreaths made out of seashells. Cartoon images of dolphins and sea creatures decked out in glitter and tinsel.

  During the pre-dinner reception they wandered around the aquarium as servers walked around with appetizers that made her stomach grumble in appreciation. Scallops wrapped in bacon. Sushi. Chicken teriyaki. Shrimp. Mini quiches. Brandon took two glasses of champagne from a server, handing one to Rose and then raising his glass to hers in a toast of “things to come.” Rose honestly couldn’t imagine anything that would give her more joy than this evening. So far it had exceeded all her expectations.

  Before dinner was called, Brandon led her to the shark cages, resembling a little boy as he pointed to them and made goofy faces against the glass. Rose laughed out loud as one of the sharks came up against the glass, causing Brandon to jump backward. He threw back his head and roared with laughter at his own reaction. As an announcement was made over the intercom that dinner was being served, Brandon took hold of her hand and led her towards the penguin area. Once they entered the space, Rose was in awe. The area had been decorated all in white and silver with flowing white gauze curtains flowing from the walls on all sides. A server, dressed in a white tuxedo, pulled out her chair for her and then pushed it in once she was seated. A gorgeous floral arrangement sat on the middle of their table. White roses surrounded by pine cones, red carnations and sprigs of holly. It was low enough so that they could still see each other across the table and talk comfortably.

  The penguins were entertaining and endearing as they waddled and frolicked in their enclosure, as happy go lucky as she’d always imagined them to be. Both of them laughed when one penguin slipped and slid all over the place.

  Once dinner was served they ate in companionable silence. Rose felt very decadent as she dug into her meal of lobster risotto with steamed vegetables. Brandon had ordered the filet mignon, which looked scrumptious. Well before her plate was empty, Rose wiped her mouth with her napkin before placing it over the plate. There was no way she could eat a bit more, not if she wanted to be able to button her pants tomorrow. Brandon also pushed his plate away from him, an act that signaled the waiter to clear their plates.

  “So, what’s your favorite holiday tradition?” Brandon asked, his cocoa colored eyes gazing at her from across the table.

  “Trimming the tree maybe. Or baking holiday cookies. Most of our holiday traditions I created for the two of us, since I didn’t have any real, lasting ones from childhood,” Rose confessed. “Of course there were some nice Christmases along the way with families I was temporarily placed with during the holidays. Brightly lit trees with beautiful ornaments. Hot cocoa and wrapping gifts. But the one thing I prayed for eluded me.”

  “A family? It seems so simple, doesn’t it?” Brandon asked, his expression full of tenderness and understanding. It was so easy to tell him about her childhood because she knew he’d suffered through some bad times before his adoption. No child ended up in foster care unless there were serious, often catastrophic abuse or dysfunction in the home. Although she was curious about his past, it wasn’t her place to pry.

  “The simplest of concepts, but terribly difficult to create,” she said, her tone sounding wistful.

  “My brother and I used to watch this Christmas show where this little kid got his tongue stuck on a frozen pole.” Brandon seemed tickled by the memory. He started to chuckle.

  Rose covered her mouth. “Ouch. That’s gotta hurt,” she said with a laugh. “I pray AJ never sees that movie. He might be tempted to try that out.”

  Brandon shook his head. “Your son is way too smart to pull that move. That kid is going to run the world someday.”

  “So which brother are you talking about?” Rose asked. She loved hearing stories about the Donahue brothers. They were all fun-loving and spiritual and wonderful. Hearing stories about the brothers was pure entertainment.

  “His name was Lionel.” Brandon’s face held a rueful expression.

  Was? “L-Lionel?” Confusion swirled around her. Who was Lionel? “This wasn’t a Donahue brother. Am I right?”

  “You’re right,” Brandon said with a nod. “Lionel was my biological brother. He drowned when he was seven.” She watched as a host of emotions flickered across his face. Pain. Loss. Regret. It was all right there on his face.

  “Oh, Brandon. That’s terrible. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been for you.”

  “It was a nightmare. As the older brother I blamed myself. And my mother blamed me too. Lionel was the only person she ever truly cared about, so she placed all her rage and grief on to me. Knocked me out so hard she broke my jaw.”

  “No!” Rose cried out. She covered her mouth with her hand as a sick sensation washed over her. What kind of mother harms her own son? And makes him bear the weight of tragedy on his young shoulders?

  “That’s what landed me in the hospital, then briefly in foster care. The police witnessed the assault, so it was an easy case. She also had some pending cases related to the establishment she worked at. Enter my guardian angels…Mrs. Worther and my parents.” A tremor ran along Brandon’s jaw. It wasn’t hard to see that he was still deeply affected by the events of his past.

  “How did you ever manage to get past it?” Rose asked, consumed by the tragic elements of Brandon’s story.

  Brandon shrugged. “It wasn’t an easy process, but when I came to live with my adoptive parents I instantly had a house full of siblings. It helped my broken heart to heal. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. As a nine year old, I learned how to pray.”

  Rose nodded, feeling slightly taken aback by the power of Brandon’s life story. He’d persevered through things that might scar a person for the rest of their life. Not only had he overcome his circumstances, but he’d soared proudly like an eagle. He’d risen to unimaginable heights. “I’ve recited that Bible verse a few times myself over the years,” Rose admitted, feeling an even more profound kinship with Brandon.

  “When I was six or seven I realized that I didn’t have the kind of parents who wanted to take care of me and keep me safe. You see other kids being loved and well taken care of, so you start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you. At that age it’s so hard to wrap your head around those hard facts of life. And it hurts. It hurts worse than any other kind of pain, except the pain that comes with losing someone you love.”

  Rose saw the wounded expression on his face, and if it was even remotely possible, she would climb mountains to take away all his painful memories and replace them with joyful ones. In that moment she caught a glimpse of the little boy he’d been. And her soul ached for him.

  “And your father?” Rose asked, wanting to make sure she had the whole picture.

  “He was one of those guys who was in and out of my life for most of my life,” Brandon explained. “When Lionel drowned, he disappeared. My mother has been in and out of prison for the last twenty years or so. And about five years ago my father walked back into my life.” Brandon tossed the words out casually, which Rose couldn’t comprehend. How could Brandon be so calm about his father walking back into his life once he became a millionaire?

  “What did he want?” she asked, even though she had a pretty solid idea of what Brandon’s father had been seeking.

  Brandon let out a harsh chuckle. “What didn’t he want? He had his hand out for a cool hundred thousand dollars. Said h
e’d never darken my door again if I gave it to him.”

  Rose raised a hand to her throat. “You didn’t, did you?”

  Brandon quirked his mouth. “I was this close to giving him what he wanted,” he said, holding up his thumb and forefinger. “I had arranged payment with my financial advisor. I had the meeting with my Dad all set up. I wanted to look him in the eye when I handed over that money. On some level I wanted him to acknowledge me, maybe even care for me a little bit. Then I realized that I didn’t have to try to win his love anymore. Been there done that. And it never mattered one little bit what I did…if I got an A in science or won the spelling bee. It was never enough to make him proud of me.”

  Rose exhaled. She’d been on the edge of her seat waiting to hear if Brandon had given his father the money. That type of sum wouldn’t make a dent in his fortune, but it was the principle of the thing. His father deserved nothing from Brandon, particularly not the fruits of his labor. Rose crossed her hands in front of her in a prayerful position. Brandon’s story was making her angry. How dare his father saunter back into his life only in order to exploit him financially?

  “It must have been difficult,” she reasoned. “On one hand he walked out on you when you needed him most and left you at the most vulnerable time in your life. On the other hand, familial ties are very strong. It takes a lot to shred them completely.”

  “I couldn’t give him the money. I realized that I wanted to prove something to him. All the hard work and achievement over the years, it was never something I did solely for me. It was always a repudiation of what they’d done to me, how they’d left me. I wanted to show the world that I was worth something. I wasn’t just a throwaway.” He laughed harshly. “The strangest part was…I once thought my birth father hung the moon. All these years later it was so easy to see all the cracks in his foundation. In the end all I felt was pity.”

  “I understand. Proving yourself to people who just aren’t worthy of all your efforts is heartbreaking. Especially when they’re your parents,” Rose said, making a tutting noise to indicate her displeasure. Brandon’s parents had been a piece of work. Heartless! Cold.