Diane R. Jewkes

by The Heart You Own

  Her eyes sparkled with tears. She gazed lovingly into his eyes. “When you came over to me, I thought Black’s shot had gone wide.” Hugging his head to her breast, tears began rolling down her cheeks again. “Then I saw the blood running down your chest and … and … .”

  “Sshh, lass, I’m fine.” He reached up with his uninjured arm and cupped her face with his hand. “Really, look at me.” He gently turned her face so he could look into her eyes more fully. The fear he saw reflected there tore at his heart. “It will take more than a bullet to keep me away from you.” He smiled gently at her. “After all the trouble I went through to get you to finally admit you love me, do you think I’d let something as insignificant as a bullet get in my way? We Scots are much too stubborn a lot to let that happen.”

  Her joyous smile was all he needed. Wincing at the pain radiating down his arm, he sat up.

  “Are you sure you should sit yet?” Kara asked. “You don’t realize how much blood you lost.”

  Resting her hand on his back, she knelt on her knees next to him. “Don’t rush. I don’t think I’d be able to pick you up if you blacked out again. You weigh as much as a calf.”

  Glad to see her humor returning, Hawke chuckled weakly. “Help me stand. We need to let your father and the others know Black won’t be bothering anyone again.”

  Fighting the pain and weakness stealing over him, he stood slowly. Kara positioned herself at his side with his arm across her shoulders, and hers around his waist in case he lost his balance.

  They moved over to where Black’s body lay. He felt her shudder at the sight of the dead man’s eyes open and staring. She turned her head into his chest. Hawke leaned over stiffly, and closed the lids down over dull unseeing eyes. Pulling Kara more tightly into his embrace, offering comfort, he replayed the scene over and over in his mind.

  He was astounded at how Kara had kept her wits about her. He had forgotten about her gun and was thankful not only did she not panic, she stayed focused on getting to it. Silently, he thanked her father for teaching her how to use one. He knew no other woman able to do what she had done.

  After a moment, he turned her away, looking for the horses.

  “The gunshots must have spooked them.” Kara looked at Hawke. “We are going to have to either wait here until the horses get back home and someone notices them, or we can start walking until they meet us.”

  Despite all her courage, he knew staying in the cave with the dead man would unnerve her. He felt the strength leaving him and knew they couldn’t wait. “Let’s start. We should still have enough daylight left for them to find us.”

  They emerged into the late afternoon sunshine. Hawke squinted at the brightness. The warmth felt good on his bare skin.

  “Are you sure you’re strong enough to walk? We could just wait here.”

  “No, it will be better if we start moving.” He smiled brightly at her, not wanting her to suspect how weak he really was. “We can plan our wedding while we walk. That should keep your mind occupied.”

  “This isn’t funny, Hawke!”

  “Look over there!” Their horses, including Black’s, had stopped in the canyon, instead of running all the way back to the ranch.

  At her whistle, Kara’s horse lifted his head and began ambling over to her, his lead rope dragging through the scrub beside him. The big gray and the other horse followed along.

  “Will you be able to get up on your horse?” She looked at his still too-pale face. “Maybe you should just ride Black’s horse.” She nodded over to the small bay. “It might be easier.”

  “I’d probably break its back.” He tried to sound more energetic than he felt. “I’ll just use that rock over there to mount.”

  Leading his horse to a low boulder, he leaned his arm heavily on the saddle so Kara would not see how weak he was. It took all his concentration to get his foot in the stirrup and drag himself onto his horse. He never thought he would be grateful for the large western saddle, the lower stirrups, and the horn. Grasping the horn in a white-knuckle grip, fighting for balance, he turned to join Kara just in time to see her vault onto the back of her horse. Drawing closer, he could see worry for him reflected in her face.

  “Look that bad, do I?” he quipped, glad to see a ghost of a smile flit across her lips. “I promise no matter what, I will not humiliate myself by falling off my horse. Now,” he said, nodding towards the ranch, “shall we head home?”

  Leaving Black’s horse to follow behind, the two turned and began riding at a very sedate walk.

  • • •

  Kara kept a worried eye on Hawke as they rode. She was amazed he could sound so casual about their situation. Her emotions were spinning out of control. So much had happened. She’d gone from being gloriously happy, to mindless with fear, to feeling her life had ended, back to happy, in what seemed like seconds. She wasn’t sure what she should think, or feel; she was numb. And she was afraid — afraid for him.

  Sidling her horse up to him, their legs touching, she peered intently at the makeshift bandage. She saw blood beginning to stain the white cloth. It had soaked through the toweling. No matter how strong he thought he was, she knew if he lost much more blood, it could kill him.

  The need to ride fast to get him help, warred with going cautiously in case he did faint. Moving forward to see his face, she looked up at him. His mouth was set in a line of grim determination. She could see a greenish tint flushing his skin and knew strength of will was the only thing keeping him mounted.

  His head began bobbing against his chest and he had a death grip on the saddle horn. It felt like a lifetime before they saw the outbuildings.

  “We’re almost there.” Kara reached over to touch his thigh. “Just a little further and we’ll be all right.”

  Seeing Hawke begin to slide off of his horse, she cried out. He landed in a lifeless heap in the warm desert sand. Kara threw herself off her horse and rushed to kneel beside him. Leaning down, she could see the shallow, rapid rise and fall of his chest. His face was gray and no matter how she shook him, he didn’t respond. Frantically she pulled her gun fired into the air, until all she heard was the click of an empty chamber. Pulling his body into her arms, tears coursed down her cheeks and she began screaming for help watching desperately as riders approached.

  Chapter 30

  It felt like a bull was sitting on his shoulder.

  Hawke struggled to open eyes that felt dry and gritty, to see what was so heavy. Blinking, the memory of being shot came rushing back. Vision clear, he recognized his room at the ranch. Glad they had made it back, he tried to remember how they had made it back. He could only recall struggling to get on his horse and the soothing sound of Kara’s voice, reassuring him they were going to make it. Everything else was gone. Rolling his head to one side, looking down, he could see the stark white of the bandages on his shoulder.

  Gingerly, he straightened his arm, wincing at the dull ache that spread from his shoulder down to his fingers.

  Turning to the other side, he discovered the source of the weight on his shoulder. Kara’s head was nestled into the hollow of his shoulder and her body was curled up against his side on the bed. She was asleep, but dark circles under her eyes spoke of sleepless nights. Looking at her he knew he wanted to wake up next to her for the rest of his days. But right now he didn’t want to disturb her, so tried not to move. Looking around the room he saw Alec.

  “Well, glad to see you are still among the living.” Alec smiled, pulling a chair closer to the bed and sitting.

  “How long have I been out?” Hawke’s voice felt like sandpaper in his throat. Alec handed him a glass of water from the table by the bed.

  “Four days. It was touch and go for a while.”

  Alec looked at Kara, “She didn’t leave your side for a minute of it either. I think this is the first time I’ve
seen her sleep since we got you here. She wouldn’t let anyone else nurse you. Despite her father and Consuelo telling her she would be no good to anyone, especially you, if she didn’t sleep. She’s spooned broth down your throat and kept cool cloths on your head when the fever set in. Your fever broke early this morning.”

  “What happened?”

  “Best I can tell, after you were shot, Kara managed to get you as far as the outbuildings. After you fell she began firing her gun to get someone’s attention. Joe and Bob were the first to get to you. Kara was screaming hysterically about Black, and how he shot you.” A grim look hardened his features. “I really didn’t think you would be able to survive after losing so much blood.” Reaching over, he grasped Hawke by the wrist, “I’m glad you did.”

  Clearing his throat, Alec put on an easy smile.

  “Thank you, my friend.” Hawke smiled back. Nodding at Kara, he asked, “Did she tell you and her father what happened?”

  “About Black showing up and you trying to stop a bullet with your body? Yes. Her father sent men out to retrieve Black’s remains and take them to the sheriff.”

  Shifting slowly, Hawke eased his arm out from under Kara’s head. Sighing softly, Kara moved closer to his side. Hawke pushed himself up to lean against the wooden headboard. Fighting off the weakness and dizziness threatening to overwhelm him, he folded the sheets at his waist. He turned his head to take a closer look at the bandages wrapped over his shoulder and around his chest.

  “The doctor came out and patched you up.” Alec spoke softly. “He said if Kara hadn’t acted as quickly as she had, you would have surely bled to death.” Respect shone in his eyes as he looked at her. “I have to say, she is not at all the woman I thought her to be. She has great inner strength, and was able to keep her wits about her. She saved your life, twice.” Meeting his friend’s eye, he nodded. “You are a lucky man to have her.” Alec paused a moment. “You do have her, don’t you? She has agreed to marry you?”

  “Yes.” Hawke reached over and gently stroked her hair. “That part of the day I remember clearly.”

  Visions of her stretched out on the rock, bathed in sunshine, and the feel of her body trembling in his arms with the power of her release sent a wave of warmth through his body.

  “You’re awake!”

  Both men turned to see Kara slowly sitting up. She smiled. Her eyes were brimming with happiness as she searched his face, looking for any sign of pain. Reaching up she placed her palm on his forehead and cheek to check for fever. Hawke reached up and stroked her tangled hair from her eyes.

  “I’m all right, lass. I told you it would take more than a bullet to kill me.” He smiled gently at the worried look on her face. “It’s over, love.” He stroked her cheek. “You’re stuck with me.”

  With a small cry, Kara threw herself against his chest hugging him tightly. Hearing a grunt, she pulled back afraid she might have hurt him.

  “Oh, Hawke, I’m sorry.” She reached up towards his injured shoulder.

  “Does it hurt badly? Is there anything I can do? I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I didn’t mean to hug you so tightly … it’s just I’m so happy you woke up.”

  Breathlessly, she continued to talk. Her hands fluttered nervously, not sure where she could touch him, but needing to reassure herself with the feel of his skin on her fingertips.

  Hearing a low chuckle behind her, she realized they weren’t alone. Looking over her shoulder she met Alec’s amused gaze. Relieved it wasn’t her father or Consuelo, she gifted him with a brilliant smile.

  “He’s awake.”

  “So I see.” Alec smiled.

  “I believe Miss Jonston, while it was acceptable — barely — for you to be in Hawke’s room while he was unconscious, I don’t believe, even out here in the ‘Wild West,’ either your father or Consuelo would allow you to remain while he is awake.” Pointing towards the bed, he slanted a grin at her. “And most assuredly, they would not find it at all acceptable that you are in his bed.”

  Standing, he offered her his hand to help her rise. “Since they are not here at the moment, and I am, I feel I should act as chaperone and urge you to leave.”

  Kara couldn’t believe her ears. Alec. Being proper? Then he added. “Besides you look a fright, and I’m sure you would like to clean up.”

  Hawke smiled, and took her hand. “Go. Even though I might wish Alec hadn’t suddenly had an attack of propriety, he is right.”

  Knowing both of them were right, Kara leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Hawke’s forehead, gave him a wink, and bounded out of the room.

  She needed to tell her father and Consuelo that he was awake. Hugging her arms tightly around her waist, she felt like shouting down the roof, her relief was so great. Practically skipping she entered the kitchen.

  “He’s awake.” Grabbing a startled Consuelo by the arms she danced her around the kitchen, laughing, giddy with happiness. Spying Maria she ran over and twirled her around.

  “I’m going to marry him.”

  Laughing at her friends’ shocked expression she hugged herself again. “He’s awake. He loves me, and I love him. Isn’t it wonderful?”

  “Si, mija.” Consuelo hustled her towards the bathing room. “It’s wonderful … .” She wrinkled her nose. “But you are not.” Consuelo shooed her toward the bathing room. “Get cleaned up. You haven’t bathed in days. There’s plenty of time for celebration later.”

  • • •

  The insistent growling of her stomach woke Kara.

  Refreshed, she hopped out of bed, anxious to see Hawke. Sitting at her dressing table, she began brushing the knots out of her hair. After days of wearing nothing but pants and shirts, she decided to wear a dress. Going to her wardrobe, she chose a rose-colored gown she hadn’t worn since she left Virginia. Donning it, she twirled in front of her mirror, watching the swirl of the full skirt. Pulling her hair back with a matching bow, she slipped her feet into matching slippers and left the room, anticipation putting a rosy glow in her cheeks.

  “Well, you look well rested.” Her father met her at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Oh, Papa I’m so happy.” She threw her arms around her father’s neck for a hug. “I didn’t know I could be so happy. I love him so much.”

  Withdrawing from her father’s embrace she looked at him anxiously. “I’m so sorry I’ve been so horrible since he got here. I didn’t want to admit my feelings. I was so afraid, and … .” She added, “I was just a little mad at you. Can you forgive me?”

  “Oh, Little Bit, there is nothing to forgive. Sometimes admitting to ourselves we were wrong can be the hardest thing a person ever does. I’m glad you’ve found a good man who wants to take care of you and love you.” He kissed the top of her head then stepped back.

  “I can’t believe he almost died because of my hard-headedness.”

  “It wasn’t your hard-headedness, lass.”

  She whirled around to see Hawke easing his way gingerly down the stairs with Alec helping him.

  “It was my addlepated attempt to act the knight in shining armor. Only problem was.” He smiled self-deprecatingly. “I had no armor. In fact, I stand in awe.” He reached the lower step and took Kara’s hands in his. “Of your coolness under fire. The more I learn about you, the more I honor the independent, self-sufficient spirit you are.”

  Admiring how beautiful she looked in her rose-colored gown, he added, “Your beauty and intelligence drew me to you from the first.” Seeing her blush at his compliments, he leaned closer and whispered in her ear.

  “Sir,” Hawke tried to look serious, but Kara’s giggles made it impossible not to smile. “I once asked your permission to marry your daughter.” He saw Kara look back at him, surprised at that piece of news. Placing a finger on her lips to keep her from speaking, he continued. “You told me at the
time it wasn’t your permission I needed … but hers.”

  Case nodded.

  “Well, I have asked her,” Hawke continued, “and she has consented to be my wife — with your blessing, of course.”

  “Son, I thought I was going to have to lock the two of you in a room to get you to this point.” Case laughed. “It’s certainly taken the two of you long enough to realize what the rest of us saw from the beginning.”

  “On that point, I would have to defer to the ‘hard-headedness’ of your daughter.”

  Kara elbowed him in the ribs. Slipping an arm around her waist he pulled her against him. “Early on I was roped and ready to be tied, as you say. I just couldn’t convince her.”

  Alec left to get wine and glasses for a toast. He retuned with Consuelo, Bob, Maria, and Joe to share in the moment.

  Consuelo was wiping her eyes on her apron. She wrapped Kara in her arms and hugged her. After shaking Hawke’s hand and giving Kara a great bear hug, Bob led his happily sobbing wife away.

  “Like Alicia told you,” Maria smiled as she gave Kara a hug, “‘caged cats’ ”

  Laughing at Hawke’s questioning look, Kara whispered she would explain it to him later.

  Epilogue

  The wedding was perfect. Kara’s father met her at the bottom of the stairs to escort her to her groom. Facing her he opened his hand revealing the sapphire necklace he had given his wife on their wedding day. “Oh papa.” Kara fought the tears welling in her eyes. Her father placed the necklace around her throat, kissed her on the cheek.

  Case placed Kara’s hands in Hawke’s and looked him in the eye.

  “Take good care of her. She is as dear to me as my own life.”

  “She is my life.” Hawke replied quietly.

  • • •

  She stood at the window looking at the full moon casting light and shadow across the valley. Arms slid around her waist as Hawke came to stand behind her and pull her against his warm naked body. A shiver of desire danced across her skin as he nuzzled her neck.