Mess with Me

by Nicole Helm

  “I’m your older brother.”

  “And I’m a grown woman. Now come on, Sam. We’ll be back in a little bit. Make yourself at home, my uninvited guest.”

  James gave them both a glare that reminded Sam that Hayley had said her brother was a police officer. He could see it right there. He felt like he was being sized up like some kind of criminal.

  But Hayley pulled him into the hallway, and Sam wasn’t about to argue. Hayley pulled and pulled until they were exiting her apartment complex. When she finally stopped, she looked up at him curiously. “So, Lilly sent you?”

  He knew she was fishing. He shouldn’t fall for it. He was trying to create distance between them. He’d drawn the line.

  And you’re the idiot stepping over it.

  “I had some errands to run, so I offered,” Sam muttered.

  Hayley pressed her lips together, and he could tell she was trying not to smile.

  “I was out of coffee, so I was going to the store anyway. I figured it would be easier if I just did it.”

  “Yes, of course.” This time she couldn’t seem to fight that smile, and the worst part was he wanted to smile back. No, the worst part was her hand was on his arm. Or maybe the worst part was the sun glinting off her mass of pulled-back curls.

  It was all the worst part, because he wanted to kiss her more than he wanted almost anything. And he’d been the one to draw that line. Him. He had to stick to it. There were reasons.

  He wished he could remember them in the golden late-morning light. “Why did you call in sick instead of saying your stepbrother was visiting?” Because if they were talking there could be no kissing. Or so he’d keep telling himself.

  Hayley looked down the street, and then started walking down Aspen. Sam could only be glad she’d let go of his arm. Yeah, glad was this shitty band around his lungs.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t . . . Everything is so weird right now. You know? I just had this moment with Brandon and Will and I didn’t know how to . . .” She shook her head. “I’m just figuring this whole Brandon and Will thing out. I don’t know how to balance both of my families. I don’t know how to add James into the mix.”

  “So it went okay? With Brandon and Will, that is?”

  She looked up at him as they walked toward Hope Street. He would take no symbolism from the street name.

  “It was good.” Her brow furrowed and she looked down at her feet, then up at the mountains in the distance. “If you were so interested, why didn’t you stick around and see?”

  He blinked at her. Here was the part where he should lie. He should say it wasn’t any of his business and he’d decided to leave of his own accord. But lies around Hayley were hard to find.

  “Lilly told me to.”

  Hayley stopped and whirled on him. “What?”

  Sam kept walking. What did it matter? Lilly had been right. They hadn’t belonged there. It had been none of their damn business. Lilly had kept her distance, and Sam had left and . . . that was just right. The way it should have been.

  When Hayley scrambled after him, clearly expecting an answer, he shrugged. “The thing between you and Will and Brandon isn’t my business. Lilly was right. We didn’t have any business being in there. I didn’t belong there. So I left.”

  “It didn’t occur to you that I might’ve wanted you there?”

  Sam didn’t dare look at her. Too much would be revealed in his expression because he had a feeling Hayley saw way too much, things he never wanted her to see. Things he didn’t want to see himself.

  “Why would you want me there? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Yes, it does. Because you can pretend to be closed off and uninvolved, but you’re here. You care.”

  “Be careful of how much care you’re ascribing to me,” he said, not bothering to slow down his concrete-eating strides. Hayley had long legs, she could keep up.

  “No. I won’t be careful. Maybe I get that the kiss was a mistake. At least, in your mind. But that doesn’t mean we’re not friends. That doesn’t mean you don’t care.”

  “I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

  Hayley laughed. A little too hard. “I didn’t get wrong ideas all on my own. Believe me, if I went by your cues . . .” She slid him a little glance. “Actually, Sam, you’re in such deep denial, I don’t think you realize you give out cues.”

  “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  “Of course not. You’re a big, strong, silent rock of a man.”

  “I thought I was a sad little bear.”

  Hayley laughed again and he hated that it did something to him. Was like the sun peeking through the clouds after days of rain. Warmth and a pop of light against the dark, which made it that much brighter. Which made him want to laugh.

  He was here because she was something like irresistible. Or some kind of... disease. Yeah, he liked that idea better. She was something communicable. She’d kissed him and now he’d never be able to get the taste of her out of his mouth. He’d never be able to forget the feel of her, sweet and pliant in his arms. Because she was a walking germ he couldn’t get rid of. She was like Lyme disease or something.

  He should tell her that. He should tell her he was comparing her to Lyme disease in his head, and see how amusing she found it. But he didn’t.

  “Sam, I have a very serious question for you.”

  Everything in him tensed as they turned onto Main. Serious questions could never be good.

  “Do you think you’ll ever be honest with yourself?”

  “Honest with myself?”

  “I realize that that’s kind of what my problem was for so long. I couldn’t be honest with myself about my real problem. Which meant I couldn’t be honest with my family. I just wonder if you think you’ll ever get to the point I’m at. Where you’re brave enough to say you’re your own problem. And you’re the only one holding you back.”

  It hit uncomfortably close to home. The truth in it. Of course, what Hayley didn’t seem to understand was he knew he was the problem. But if you were your own problem, how did you ever get over it?

  Even Brandon had said it last night. Anyone would blame himself in Sam’s position. There was no one to absolve him. There was no one to forgive him, because the person who needed to forgive him was dead. He’d never know what she wanted or if she’d blame him. So, he could only guess. Maybe grief wasn’t the best place to guess, but it was all he had.

  “I want you to think about that. Because I might not know exactly what you’re going through, and I’ve never experienced grief like that, but I think we’re the same.”

  Sam felt some uncomfortable emotion clog his throat. So much so that he couldn’t find the words to respond.

  How did you respond to the truth? How did you respond to an honesty you didn’t want? Usually he ran away.

  Maybe . . . Maybe that time needed to end.

  * * *

  Hayley held her breath. Sam wasn’t running. He wasn’t even shutting down exactly. Oh, he was silent as a tomb, but he was considering. At least she thought he was. Taking in those words and really thinking about them.

  It was the most hope she’d had in regards to him this whole time. She thought maybe she was actually cracking this man open. Was it possible? Was it remotely possible she was getting through to him? That he might see how similar they were, and maybe even how good they could be together?

  She thought they really would be. Because for all their similarities there were differences that complemented each other too.

  “Maybe . . . Maybe you’re ri—”

  Before Sam could say she was right, which Hayley was certain he was about to do, a dog’s incessant bark interrupted them. But it didn’t just stop at a bark, the dog approached Sam and pounced.

  Hayley let out a little screech before she realized the dog wasn’t attacking, it was happily and ecstatically wagging its tail and jumping on Sam as though Sam was someone it had always known.

&n
bsp; It was the first time Hayley had ever been jealous of a dog.

  “Holy shit.” Sam exhaled, scratching the dog behind its ears. “Will’s not crazy. It is you.”

  Hayley didn’t have a clue as to what any of that meant, and when a woman approached, Hayley figured she didn’t like it.

  “Sarge, dammit. Sit.” The dog obeyed the order, though his tail still wagged so hard he wiggled.

  Sam froze and looked up at the woman. She wasn’t very tall. In fact, Hayley had a few inches on her at least, but she had an aura of strength and toughness to her that Hayley immediately envied.

  Even more so when Hayley looked over at Sam and saw the look on his face.

  “Holy shit,” he muttered.

  “Hi, Sam.”

  “It really . . . You’re here.”

  Hayley had felt like a third wheel a lot of times in her life. This was really taking the cake. Sam knew this pretty little woman with this big German shepherd dog, and he was looking at her like she was some sort of ghost. But not as though that was necessarily a bad thing. He looked shocked, but not scared or angry.

  “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “That’s an interesting question that’s really too complicated to explain.”

  “Try, Tori.”

  Tori. Hayley racked her brain trying to think of any mention of a Tori before. The woman glanced at Hayley, something like suspicion and curiosity in her blue-green eyes.

  Sam finally seemed to remember Hayley’s existence, and turned his gaze to hers. And frowned.

  Hayley tried not to read too much into that.

  “Tori, this is . . .”

  He trailed off like that, not saying her name or explaining who she was. What bullshit, the jerk.

  “Hayley. I’m Hayley.”

  “Hey,” the woman replied, not offering her name in return, or a handshake, or even a friendly wave. She didn’t offer anything, and for some reason that made Hayley just as angry at this woman as she was at Sam.

  “Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Hayley offered irritably.

  “Could you?” Tori said with a saccharine quality to her voice that seemed more sarcastic than genuine. “That’d be great.”

  Hayley stared, baffled at this nasty woman and her happy giant dog.

  “Tori . . .” Sam raked a hand through his hair. “Hayley is Will and Brandon’s half sister.”

  The woman swallowed. “Half sister?”

  “It’s a long story, but she’s, you know, related to them.”

  Hayley wasn’t sure how to feel. Sam was being downright personable. And nice! And helpful! Why was he never this way with her?

  “Well . . .” The woman grimaced, though Hayley thought maybe she was trying to smile.

  “Yeah . . .”

  “So now that we know who I am, why doesn’t someone tell me who you are?” It wasn’t the nicest way she’d ever talked to someone. But hey, the woman hadn’t been nice to her first. Wasn’t it her prerogative to be a little snippy right back?

  “Tori used to—”

  “How great is it that Brandon and Will have a sister. They’d be amazing brothers.”

  Hayley could only stare at this woman who was refusing to introduce herself.

  Sam shook his head. “Tori is an old friend of mine and Brandon and Will’s.”

  Tori fisted a hand on her hip and sighed dramatically. “Some more than others.”

  “That a dig at me or Will?”

  The woman’s eyes narrowed and Hayley realized the history here was beyond anything that was going to be explained to her here on the street. Which was obnoxious. She wanted to know exactly who this woman was. To Sam. Besides an old friend.

  Sam glanced down at Hayley with something she didn’t want to see in his eyes. Something like apology.

  “I guess you should get back to James.”

  She felt unaccountably hurt that he was dismissing her. After coming here and bringing her stupid soup. He could claim Lilly had asked him to, but Hayley had her suspicions. Now he was going to shoo her away because this other woman had shown up. An old friend.

  Sam moved, putting himself between her and this Tori woman. “Before you go, I want to let you know that . . .” He looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he straightened his shoulders and met her gaze. “Obviously, if you want to train with Will and Brandon from here on out, that’s fine.”

  It hurt far more than it should, even more than his dismissal. Because part of her did want to get to know her brothers that way. But not at the expense of losing Sam. She had to swallow down the lump in her throat, but before she could get well and truly upset, he continued.

  “But we can still train together, too. If you want to. I mean, I could also train you, along with Brandon and Will. This doesn’t mean that . . .”

  “So you still want to train me?”

  She expected equivocations, but he glanced back at Tori, then met Hayley’s gaze straight on. “Yes, I do,” he said resolutely, even with that woman standing behind them with her dog looking at them strangely.

  “Tomorrow? Hiking in the morning and rock climbing in the afternoon?”

  He nodded tensely. “I’ll be . . . waiting.” He turned abruptly away from her then, walking toward the Tori woman.

  Maybe it was silly or crazy to think that was some sort of step. Some sort of something. But she felt like the world had opened up for her. Even as he walked down Main Street with Tori and her dog, Hayley knew he wanted to spend time with her.

  Even if that was just friendly, she could use a friend. There was always time for everything else.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “That was downright touching, Sam.”

  “What the hell is your problem, Tori?” Sam returned. Though Tori had never been what anyone would call a soft, pleasant personality, she usually wasn’t so downright hostile unless provoked.

  Surely nothing Hayley did would have been a provocation, and considering Tori had been the one who’d disappeared from their lives, not vice versa, he should be no provocation.

  “I don’t have a problem,” Tori said.

  He raised an eyebrow at this woman he’d once counted as one of his closest friends, right alongside Brandon and Will.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just . . . You weren’t supposed to see me. Damn dog keeps getting away from me.” Tori was short enough she could place her hand on Sarge’s fuzzy head without having to bend over.

  Sam didn’t know where she was planning on walking, but he decided he would just follow her until she stopped. He was disappointed to have left Hayley, but he figured it was for the best he hadn’t had a chance to say anything more stupid than he already had.

  Besides, Tori being here was a big deal. Especially after what Will had told him about Tori’s confession to Will before she’d left the group.

  “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

  Sam laughed. He couldn’t help it. “Why am I looking at the woman who disappeared from our lives too many years ago to count and then she randomly shows up in the middle of the town I currently live in?”

  She fidgeted, which was the Tori he remembered. A constant bundle of energy.

  “You can tell me. Whatever it is. It’s been a long time, but you’re still my friend.”

  She looked up at him with something like fear in her blue-green eyes. Of all the emotions he’d seen there in their college days, he was pretty sure fear had never been one of them.

  “I’m kinda screwed, Sam,” she said on an unsteady exhale.

  “Screwed how?”

  She stopped her walking and looked up at him with a fierce kind of look. Tori was nothing if not fierce. “Before I tell you,” she said, seeming to measure her words, “I need you to make me a promise.”

  “Okay,” he agreed. It was a reluctant agreement, but he knew Tori wouldn’t give an inch. If he didn’t make her a promise, she would walk away, no question about it. “What do you want me to promise?”

  �
�I need you to promise not to tell Will any of this.”

  Aw, crap. “Don’t put me in the middle of this. Whatever happened between you and Will—”

  “It doesn’t have anything to do with what happened between me and Will.” She said his name so disdainfully it was almost comical. “This just needs to stay on the down low. I don’t need anyone swooping in to save me. I just need . . . Is it a promise or not?”

  “Okay, I promise not to tell Will.”

  “And Brandon. You have to promise not to tell either one.”

  “You only said Will before.”

  “Promise or not?” Tori snapped.

  “Promise. Now, would you please just spit it out?”

  “So, I lost my job and couldn’t get a new one. So, then . . . I’m kind of, you know, homeless. With no job and no money. I’ve been camping around Gracely.”

  “Haunting Will?”

  Tori’s face darkened, losing some of that softness. “It’s not my fault my damn dog won’t listen to me when it comes to you guys.”

  “Why on earth would you do all that instead of come to us? You know we’re here, obviously.”

  “I’m not particularly proud of my situation, Sam. You know I have a lot of experience with handling my damn self. I don’t need help. I just need my dog to listen to me.”

  But Tori Appleby, one of the strongest, most kick-ass women he had ever met, was very near the verge of tears.

  “We would’ve helped.”

  She shook her head, her thick blond braid shaking with it. “You don’t know that.”

  “Yeah, I do. No matter what, the four of us had each other’s backs.”

  “You don’t know everything that went down, and with good reason. You had your own shit to deal with at the time.”

  “Tori, I don’t care what happened, we’ve always got your back.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him, some of her old spark returning. “The little bastard told you, didn’t he?”

  Sam donned his best poker face. “Told me what?”

  “I am so out of here. I thought . . . I don’t know, but I can’t do this. Not on your life. Not on mine.” She started walking away again, the longest strides she could manage on her shorter legs.