Beholden to You

by Sexton, Carlie

  “Are you okay, Natalie?” Mac asked me with concern on his handsome face.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” All I wanted was to get dressed and run until my clumsy feet couldn’t carry me anymore. I didn’t need the complication of being attracted to Mac. He was a nice guy and all, but I had too much to deal with in the coming months.

  “I’m going to get dressed in the bathroom,” I said, as I picked up my clothes off the floor.

  Getting out of his hotel room was my number one priority at that point. I locked the bathroom door behind me, not wanting any more surprises. Taking off the robe I slipped on my panties, then my bra. Finally, I stepped into my dress and zipped it up the side. All I needed were my shoes and I could go back to my room. I took a quick look in the mirror. My blonde locks were tussled and my mascara smudged. I rubbed away the mascara underneath my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. I might be freaking out, but I wanted to have some semblance of being put together.

  When I returned to the bedroom, I found Mac sitting and texting. I heard the familiar buzz on my phone, letting me know I had a text waiting for me. Mac looked up, his blue eyes captivating me. “Neil just sent me a reminder that we are all meeting for breakfast downstairs in about forty minutes.”

  I picked up my phone to find a similar text from Kate. “Great, I’ll see you down there. Let’s just act like nothing happened.”

  He looked at me and smiled, saying, “Whatever you want to do is fine.” I could see myself falling for this man. He doesn’t seemed freaked out at all. He’s so calm. Is that how he really is?

  I nodded and then turned toward the door. I was out of his room within seconds. Hopefully leaving his life would be just as easy, although somehow, I had a feeling it wouldn’t. I pushed the button on the elevator. My room was two floors above Mac’s and I needed to shower before going down to breakfast. At least I had enough time to get ready.

  Chapter 2: Mac

  What just happened? I looked at the marriage license again. For some reason, I wasn’t as freaked out as I should be. Cassie pushed marriage and I ended our relationship. I didn’t want to marry her. But, Natalie was different somehow. She genuinely cared about other people, and the fact she didn’t want to steal Kate or Charlie’s thunder, said a lot about her character. Plus, she was so damn beautiful. I could very easily lose myself in her long blonde hair and curvy body. How was it she hadn’t been with anyone before? I found that so hard to believe. Keeping a promise like that to her mother was unfathomable.

  I wanted to stop her from leaving my room but she was like a scared rabbit, and I was afraid any big movements from me would cause her to run. But she ran, anyway.

  I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, which I desperately needed to deliver me from the alcohol-induced haze. My muscles welcomed the hot water that cascaded down my body. I wouldn’t have minded if Natalie had been a different kind of girl and actually joined me for that shower. I’d love an instant replay of the night before, to be perfectly honest. But, part of me was glad she was a woman with convictions.

  When Natalie had looked at me with her big blue eyes, there had been too much pressure to be able to recall specific details from the night before. However, relaxed from the shower, it all came back to me. I was excited to have, what I presumed was, a date with Natalie. Our drive in from San Diego had felt effortless; she was so easy to talk to. Neil had said a lot of great things about her and had suggested I spend some time with her. So, I did just that. She didn’t seem to mind my attention, either. After the two tequila shots, she and I were having fun, laughing and dancing. When we slow danced, I felt something. She tugged at my heart in a way no one else ever had before. Here was the gorgeous woman who had just suffered a tragic loss, and she had put her friends before herself, by coming out here to celebrate their lives. There was something incredibly alluring about that…about her.

  When we had additional shots at the next club, we ended up making out in the booth while the others were out dancing. I remember suggesting we go back to my room. That’s when she told me she was waiting for marriage. It was all slowly coming into focus. When I heard that, I think I suggested that we get married! Shit! What did I do? I freaked her out, that’s what I did. She probably thinks I just did whatever it took to get into her panties.

  Okay, wait a minute. She had said yes. I know she was drunk, but she still said yes and married me. That must mean she was as interested in me as I am in her, even though she comes across so reserved. Being in bed with her was anything but. I put my hands on the shower wall. Damn. Making love to her was coming back to me—every moment was hot. When I closed my eyes I could feel Natalie’s mouth on my body, her gorgeous breasts pressed against my chest and her tight spot that I had fit into so nicely. Shit. I opened my eyes with the realization I didn’t want an annulment. I wanted to see where this took us even though we had done it backwards. Another man having her in his bed was out of the question. I wanted her to be mine. I shook my head as if cobwebs would fly out. How could I be this irrational about a woman I hardly knew?

  I turned off the water, dried, and wondered how I was going to get to know the beautiful creature with golden hair, crystal blue eyes, and a heart that I wanted for mine. How am I going to convince her to give us a try? She was unlike any woman I had ever met and I didn’t want to let her slip through my fingers.

  Chapter 3: Natalie

  Closing the door behind me, I was grateful to be back in my own room. Peeling out of my clothes, I quickly got into the shower. It felt like an oasis, the water caressing my body. Thoughts of Mac and I in bed were coming back to me like rapid fire from a machine gun. These thoughts startled me as my body began to respond to the pictures in my mind. Mac knew his way around a female’s body and it certainly felt as though he had pulled out all the stops with me. When I closed my eyes I could visualize his head between my legs. The memory of it made my insides clench down deep. Then I remembered the culmination of his efforts and my body’s response in a tantalizing orgasm. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.

  I had to push those thoughts out of my head because the whole situation was crazy. We got married, and he didn’t seem to be taken aback by it. In fact, he was calm about the whole thing. Strange reaction for a guy. I felt kind of bad for running out of there like I did, but when I fell on him, things became real—too real. I began remembering in that moment our intimate interaction, and for a split second, I thought about surrendering to my desire for him. Again. Willingly. While sober. If I had, we’d be in bed together, and he’d be doing…

  No, I wasn’t going to torture myself. I needed to get ready for breakfast. Hopefully Kate and Charlie were so wrapped up with their men they wouldn’t ask me too many questions about where Mac and I went.

  I got out of the shower and began getting ready. Fifteen minutes later, I was out the door and making my way down to the restaurant. I wasn’t the first one there, Mac was. He was drinking coffee at a table for six. Walking up to him, I felt butterflies in my stomach. He stood when I approached, the look on his gorgeous face penetrating my heart and making my insides melt. He pulled out a chair for me and motioned for me to sit.

  “Natalie, let me just start by saying I’m sorry about last night. Obviously, neither of us were expecting to wake up married this morning.”

  I let out a sigh and watched Mac pour me a cup of coffee from the carafe. “Mac, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t force me to marry you. I did it of my own free will, even if my will was completely plastered.”

  Mac smiled. “What I’m about to say might scare you, and I hope it doesn’t, but I only came on this trip because you were coming. I wanted to get to know you.”

  I searched Mac’s eyes for malice, but only saw sincerity. I decided to let my guard down and be honest, too. “Looks like we have something in common then. I’m only here because of you, too. You’ve been so sweet to me and I feel I can trust you.”

  Mac put his hand on mine. “Ok
ay then, what do you say we forget about being married and focus on getting to know each other. We can just see what happens.”

  I was a little worried about the see what happens part because I didn’t think I would be able to control myself with him if we were alone. His hand on mine made my insides squeamish and my heart rate increase. I nodded my agreement as Kate and Neil joined us at the table.

  “Good morning,” they both said in unison and then giggled. Being in love seriously agreed with Kate.

  “Good morning,” Mac and I each said separately.

  “So did you guys end up having a good night when you left us?” Kate asked.

  “Well, you know Natalie wasn’t feeling well so I got her to her hotel room and she went to bed. Then I turned in, myself.”

  “Are you feeling better?” Neil asked.

  “Yes, I’m good as new. Slept like a baby.” Was I overselling this? I had no idea.

  Neil poured coffee for Kate and himself. He was always so attentive to her. It occurred to me in that moment, Mac was the same way with me. The way he held the chair out for me, and poured my coffee—it was just so instinctive to him. I could get used to having attention lavished upon me.

  Charlie and Mitch showed up and we all made our way to the buffet. Everything looked so good but I didn’t want to overdo it considering I felt like a train wreck. At least the coffee was helping my headache. When we sat down I observed that everyone’s plate was loaded with food except for mine. I hoped no one noticed, but I began asking questions about the plan for the day, just in case.

  “What time are we going for our massage?” I asked Kate.

  “We are booked at noon. We should have just enough time after eating to get there on time.”

  The men began talking about golf and their anticipation about playing at the best course in Vegas. Kate continued to expound on the different massages the hotel had to offer. Both Kate and Charlie were excited to go shopping afterward and all I could think about was not revealing what happened between Mac and I.

  I usually loved the idea of shopping, but I wanted to lounge at the pool and have Mac lube me up with suntan lotion instead. My cheeks flushed at my own thoughts. Where was this coming from? What had he unleashed in me last night? I hadn’t felt like this since…Ty.

  It was almost time for us to make our way to the spa and the men to depart for golf. Kate and Neil kissed goodbye as did Charlie and Mitch. Part of me felt a yearning to kiss Mac, but didn’t act on my impulse. Keeping things under wrap for a while might prove harder than I anticipated.

  We made our way to the hotel spa and I attempted to keep the conversation light—about the pending nuptials, nothing about the prior night. Entering the spa, the scent of gardenia overtook me, soothing my frazzled nerves. I was looking forward to the massage—an hour of complete quiet, to be alone with my thoughts and have my troubles caressed away.

  We walked up to the reception area to check in.

  “Hi, I’m Kate Simmons. This is Charlie Andrews and Natalie Mason. We have massages scheduled at twelve.”

  The receptionist pulled up our appointments, then directed us to follow the woman standing next to her. The spa was a haven of tranquility and with every step I felt more at ease. We were directed to a seating area and told our masseurs would be with us momentarily. I had a feeling when we sat on the luxurious sofas the inquiry would begin.

  “So, Nat. What happened when you and Mac left last night?” Charlie asked. Both Kate and Charlie stared at me intently.

  “He brought me back to the hotel, made sure I got into my room, and I assume went to his room,” I replied.

  “That’s it?” Kate questioned. “Nothing else happened? You two were making out pretty heavily at the bar.”

  “Yes. Mac was a perfect gentleman. He made sure I was safe and the next thing I knew I was seeing him for breakfast.” I felt bad lying to my friends, but it had to be done. I didn’t want to cast a shadow on their special weekend. The weekend was meant to be about them. I guess I also wasn’t ready to divulge I had gotten married before each of them, to a man I’d known for a split second.

  “Well, do you like him? Do you think you’ll see him after this weekend?” Charlie asked.

  A small smile crossed my face. “Yeah, I like him.” Both Kate and Charlie squealed. Apparently if you are in love you want everyone else to be in love, too.

  “This is so exciting,” Kate said. “Mac is a great guy. I think you two would be really good together.”

  “Me too,” Charlie chimed in.

  Thankfully, the inquisition ended as we were each greeted by our masseurs. I had the next sixty minutes to attempt to silence my thoughts and just drift.

  We each followed our perspective therapists to our own private rooms. Jackie, my therapist, instructed me to remove my clothes and lay face down on the table. As I laid face down on the table waiting for her to return to the room, it occurred to me this was the first day I hadn’t cried over my little sister Jessica who had died so recently, in a senseless car crash. I dreaded the fact I was going to have to face the driver who killed her in court in a few weeks. The grief had washed over me every day, but today was different. The enormity of being with Mac had been an unexpected diversion from my overwhelming sadness. I knew life had to go on. It went on after each of my parents died, but I had Jessica to get me through it. Kate and Charlie assured me they were here for me, but with them both becoming wives, things were going to change. Then it dawned on me. Technically, I’m a wife. Surprisingly, I felt warmth overtake me as my mind grasped the concept of being Mac’s wife. Mac reminded me of the kindest man I had ever known—a man I could trust and count on no matter what happened—my dad.

  My massage therapist entered the room and began asking me questions about my preferences. I told her I liked deep tissue. She didn’t talk during the massage except to check on the pressure. This was the first time since the accident I allowed my brain to surrender to nothingness, as she seemed to rub my troubles away. Between the calming sound of the ocean playing in the background and her expert hands, I was lulled into a tranquil state of mind.

  Chapter 4: Mac

  The distraction of golf was a huge relief after everything that happened this morning. I was, however, stoked Natalie admitted she came on this trip to get to know me. That was music to my ears.

  Neil and Mitch did most of the talking on the way to the course. I gave the occasional acknowledgement token, but my mind was on Natalie. She had pierced my heart and I wanted to be with her, not here in the car with the guys. It was actually surprising that I felt this need to make everything right in her world. I felt driven to become her world. How had that happened so quickly? But I was stuck golfing instead. The irony wasn’t lost on me—I loved the game, but I wanted Natalie more.

  I was so preoccupied that I anticipated I would have a shitty round. That’s the way it is with golf. If your head is somewhere else your game sucks.

  Neil parked the car, we retrieved our golf clubs, and began walking to check in. Since there were three of us we got two golf carts. I volunteered to drive alone, letting Neil and Mitch share. It was perfect. I didn’t have to make small talk. My mind could have a chance to absorb everything I was feeling from the events of the last twenty four hours.

  We got to the first tee box and when I hit the ball I hooked it to the left, into the trees. It was the lousiest shot I’d made in a long time.

  “Dude, are you okay?” Neil asked me. “I haven’t seen you hit like that since we were in middle school.”

  “I guess I’m just tired from drinking last night,” I said, hoping that would be the end of it. The good thing about golfing was we had to keep moving on and the lawyer in Neil couldn’t question me for too long.

  I tried to get out of my own head, but it was no use. Natalie was on my mind and there was nothing I could do about it.

  The round took just over four hours and we decided to stop at the clubhouse for a drink before heading back. Thi
s made me a little nervous because I had never been able to keep a secret from Neil. He was my best friend in the world—a brother. He had seen me through some of my darkest hours.

  We sat a table next to the window with an expansive view of the golf course. The waitress took our order and once she was gone, I knew I was in for it.

  “Mac, what’s going on?” Neil asked. “You’ve been acting weird all day.” My first inclination was to lie and say I was fine. But I knew Neil. He was like a dog with a bone and he wasn’t going to let go of this until I came clean. We’d known each other too long, and been through too much together, for me to pull one over on him.

  “You can’t tell anyone… including Kate and Charlie. Otherwise, I won’t tell you.”

  Mitch put up his hands. “Bro, I won’t breathe a word, I promise.”

  “Well, I think you know by now you can trust me,” Neil said a little exasperated.

  I inhaled deeply, needing all the oxygen possible for what I was about to say. “Last night, after Natalie and I left the bar, we kind of got…married.”

  Neither of them said anything at first. The silence became deafening as they both sat there staring at me with their mouths hanging open slightly. The waitress returned with our drinks and I took a big swig. Natalie was going to kill me if she found out that I said something.

  Neil’s brow furrowed. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Now he was more than exasperated. He sounded pissed.

  “We were drunk and somehow we ended up getting married. The worst part is, she was waiting until she was married to have sex and last night was her first time. She doesn’t even remember it.”

  Mitch sat there shaking his head. “Shit, man. What are you going to do?”

  “We decided this morning not to tell anyone because Natalie doesn’t want to take the spotlight away from Kate and Charlie. I mentioned getting an annulment when we go back to San Diego. That’s about all we discussed.”