Cross My Heart

by Jaime Russell

  “I remember that.” She sighs happily.

  “This was supposed to be all ours. We had big dreams. We’d get married, start a family, and be running the ranch together.”

  “Yeah, what a distant memory that was, but things change,” I say, moving away from her.

  “I don't know what to do. I've never been alone before with no help.”

  “You're not alone, Katy. Look all around you. Charlie said that you could move into her room, and Emma can move into the main house with Tucker, Wes, Charlie, and me. You still have your flower shop. He can't take that away from you. If you need to find a new spot to work out of, we’ll figure it.”

  “Thank you. Why is Charlie letting me have her room?” I know that I don't owe her any answers, but I'm not one to hide things.

  “I asked Charlie to move in with me.”

  “It's that serious?” I nod. “I'm happy for you. I better get back to the house.” She walks away from me, as I pull out my phone again. This time I dial Wes, and he answers on the second ring.

  “Hey, man.”

  “Is she okay?” I stand in the doorway of the stable, watching Katy head back to the main house. She looks back once and waves, as I nod back to her.

  “She's different. I don't know what happened between the two of you because she won't talk to us. She's also very quiet. We're at the local mall now, and she went off on her own to do some shopping. We didn't try to stop her.”

  “Will you let her know that I called to talk to her?”

  “Yeah man, but some advice. Fix what the argument was about, before talking to her.” Wes is wise, but I’m not sure how I can fix how she feels about Katy being here. I sigh into the phone, as I tell Wes everything.

  “Fuck, man.”

  “I'm afraid that I'm going to lose Charlie. Did I tell you that Quinn gave me Mom's ring for her?”

  “Damn, dude. I didn't realize it was that serious. You have Quinn's approval, so that is some major points.”

  “It is, and I can't imagine anyone as my wife, but Charlie.”

  “Then figure it out and fight for her. I gotta go. I see Charlie coming, so I'll call you later.”

  I decide to head to the main house. I'm going to have a talk with Katy and make her understand that the past is in the past, and therefore, there is no future for us. As I walk into the house, I yell for Katy, but there’s no answer. I continue, until I hear her arguing with her dad about Emma being here with me. She's defending me, and the words I hear next shock me to my core.

  “Daddy, if you can't accept the fact that Rhett is in Emma's life, then you'll never see her.” He says something that upsets her, and she puts her phone in the back pocket of her jean shorts. A sob escapes her lips, and I put my hand on her shoulder. “Rhett,” she whispers. I stand towering over her, and she looks up at me with those big, beautiful eyes that captivated my dreams for so long, soaked with tears. I lean down and kiss her. It feels like no time has passed between us. I deepen the kiss, as I hear a moan escape from her open mouth into mine, and just like that, the argument with Charlie is forgotten.

  Charlie

  I buy a few things for Emma, while I shop alone. I'm glad that Wes respected my wishes, but I see Dana coming towards me, and I groan.

  “What's your deal?” she asks me, and I shrug. “What did he do?”

  “It wasn’t him per say. I just don't trust Katy. I have this feeling that she wants Rhett back, and I can't compete with the childhood bond, plus there's Emma.”

  “Are you really that fucking stupid? Are you the reason for the dumb blonde jokes? That man loves you and will kill someone, if you asked him to, so trust him.” She reassures me. I nod not agreeing with her, but more so because I don't want to talk about it.

  We continue shopping for a little bit. Every time I go somewhere, I always get Maddie something silly. Dana walks away from me, and I figure that I better call Rhett. The phone rings a couple times, before I hear a giggle.

  “Charlie!” Emma's excited voice greets me.

  “Em, how are you?” She tells me that she misses me, which makes me smile. “I miss you, too. I'll be home soon. Is your dad around?”

  “Mommy and he shut the door in the other room. Let me get him.”

  “Honey, no it's okay,” I tell her, but all I hear is a shuffle. I hear a woman moaning, and a man grunting in the background, and then Katy's voice scolding Emma. The next words that I hear have my head spinning.

  “Mommy, are you okay? Daddy, why are you on top of Mommy naked?” I see a trashcan about five feet away, and I run to it. I start throwing up, as I drop all the packages I had in my hands, including my phone. I feel hands pulling my long, blonde hair out of my face.

  “Are you okay?” Wes whispers into my ear. I turn my head slightly to him, as tears pour out of my eyes, like a rainstorm. My heart is completely shattered, and my foundation has crumbled.

  “Can we go back to the hotel?” I whisper.

  “Of course. What happened?” he asks, as he starts picking up my packages and phone.

  “Leave it all. I don't want any of it,” I tell him barely above a whisper, and then I see the new watch that I bought Rhett, and I hear his grunting in my head over and over again, which makes me picture the scene. I start to throw up again. Wes finally helps me to the car, where Dana's standing, waiting for us.

  “You look like hell.” My phone starts to ring, and the picture Rhett took of us, laying naked entwined into each other’s arms and legs this morning, flashes. I grab the phone out of Wes’s hand.

  “Stop calling me. I don't ever want to talk to or see you ever again.” I cry, as I hand my phone to Dana. “If he calls me again, tell him to go to hell.” I start to get into the car. “No, I don't want to talk about it.” I'm in the backseat, and I curl up into a ball, as Wes and Dana whisper about me. Wes’s phone keeps ringing, and then it goes to silent. I know that Rhett is calling him. Wes answers the phone, which is connected to the Bluetooth in the car.

  “Hey, Tuck.” I sigh in relief.

  “This was the only way I knew that you'd answer my call, so I can talk to Charlie.” Rhett's voice is like a surround sound, pounding in my ears. “I need to talk to her.” I sit up and reach across to the call button on Wes’s steering wheel. “Fuck you. Stop calling to talk to me. It's never going to happen. I never want to see you. In fact, consider this my notice. I quit, and we’re moving out of the house.” I click off.

  “What the fuck happened?” Wes sounds pissed at me. He has now pulled over the car and is looking back at me.

  “Ask your brother, when I'm not around. I'm sorry, Wes.”

  “If I kill him, will you stay on?” Wes looks in the rearview mirror, and I laugh through the tears. “I'm serious.”

  “I love you guys, but I can't be near him. You can't guarantee that he'd stay away.” Wes and Dana exchange looks, but neither say anything. They just start ignoring calls from home out of respect for me. Wes puts on the radio to fill the silence of the car with something, anything besides awkwardness. “God Gave Me You” by Blake Shelton comes on the radio.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I lunge to the front seat and start hitting buttons. Wes is trying to drive, while Dana’s pushing me back. “My fucking heart is breaking into a million pieces, and they play a fucking love song. Are you fucking kidding me? Can the world please understand that I’m hurting?” I fall back into my seat in the back and cry.

  Once we arrive at the hotel, Dana hands me my phone and packages. “I'll see you in the morning.” I hug her, as we get off on our floor, and I drag myself to my room. I drop everything by the door to climb into the bed.

  How could he do this to me? To us? He knew this was my fear with being gone. He kept reassuring me that I had nothing to worry about. I can guarantee the smell of my pussy on his dick was still there, when he stuck it in her. I lay on the bed crying. My phone just keeps ringing, so I go look to see who is calling again, and it's Madison.

  “Maddi
e,” I sniffle.

  “Hey. Dana called me. We have to pack, you quit your job, and broke up with Rhett all in the same sentence.” I quickly tell her what I heard. She swears, and I hear glass breaking. “That mother fucking no good cocksucker! He's going to feel a lot of hurt coming his way, and that bitch! We were so nice to her and understanding to her circumstances last night. They're both going down.”

  “No. I just want to leave without seeing him. Check into a hotel, as soon as you can, after you rent a storage unit. I'm not going back to the ranch.”

  “He gets away with cheating?” Madison doesn't get it.

  “He doesn't get away with anything. I'm not going to be one of those women who forgives him the first minute I see him. I’m so in love with him, and I know that I’d just break, when he opens his arms. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. We’ll do what you need us to do.”

  “I wish you were here. Oh, my stuff is already packed. Lock it up safe, please.” I start to sob uncontrollably again, and I hear Maddie trying to calm me down. I'm crying so hard that I start to hyperventilate, and every sound is garbled like I'm underwater. I don't know how long I'm like this, until I feel strong arms around me rocking me. My breathing starts to level out, and everything goes black.

  ******

  I don't know how long I was asleep or passed out from the hyperventilating, but I look over to see Wes on the couch, and Dana in bed with me. My eyes burn, as I squint to see. My head is pounding, and I wish that it was from a night of drinking, but sadly, it’s from having my heart ripped out. I start to cry again, thinking about the phone call.

  “Charlie, you okay?” Wes yawns.

  “Not really, but I will be.” I don’t sound convincing. “I’m going to shower and get ready for us to go to the training.”

  “You still want to do it?” Wes looks surprised.

  “Not really, but we paid to be here, and the training will be good for all of us.”

  “What if I can make sure Rhett isn’t around you?” he asks me.

  “You know that he wouldn’t stay away from me. I love cooking and being around you guys. I just can’t.”

  “Give it some thought. Besides, I’m pretty sure Maddie will castrate him, if he does come near you.” We laugh quietly.

  “Thank you.” I hug him, squeezing him tight. Tucker and Wes have become the brothers that Maddie and I have always wanted. I grab my shorts and t-shirt that say Livingston Ranch. I let the scalding hot water beat down on me, making sure that I can feel something other than heartache.

  Rhett

  “Charlie, please call me. I love you.” I’ve called her one hundred and thirty-four times, and I’ve called Wes just as many. I can’t believe I let myself get caught up in Katy and the past. She looked at me with those tear-filled eyes, and when she whimpered, I lost it. I needed to make her feel better, and then our past came rushing back to me. As I climbed the stairs to shower a memory comes into my head.

  “Rhett, there’s a dance at the country club, and I want you to come with me?” Katy asks me in her sweet, quiet voice that she knows that I can’t say no to. We’re sixteen-years-old and ready to take on the world.

  “Katy, what’s your dad going to say? You know that he has them ready to kick me out.” I kiss her neck. We’re sitting in her treehouse that her dad had someone build for her. “Mom said you could come, and she even called to put you on the guest list.” She smirks.

  “Then I’d be honored to be your date. What do I need to wear?” I frown.

  “Don’t you worry about it. I’ve got it taken care of. I want us to match.” She smiles.

  “I don’t like you spending your money on me. I’m sure that Quinn can give me the money.” Mr. Stillman’s issue with me is his money.

  “Do you know how sexy you are, when you talk like that? You are the one person in the world who doesn’t want me for what my dad could do for them. It’s so rare.” She kisses me, as she pushes me down gently, so she’s on top of me. I’ve told her that I want to have sex with her, but she’s wanting to wait until after graduation, or even maybe prom. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Katy.” We lay there in each other’s arms, until the alarm on my phone starts going off. I need to get off of her property because her dad will be home soon. I sit up to put my shoes on, and kiss Katy with a long passionate kiss. “I’ll see you in school.”

  “Chicken.”

  “I like my dick where it’s at thank you very much.” I climb down the tree and push my motorcycle down the road a little bit before starting it up. Once I get home, I see there’s a box on my bed. I remove the lid to a black tux.

  “Fancy.” Tucker stands in the doorway of the bedroom.

  “There’s a dance at the country club. Katy needs me to look good.”

  “Her dad isn’t going to let you near that place. I don’t know why you think it’ll work.” He walks away. I’m not letting him ruin my mood. I pull out my cell phone and call Katy.

  “Did you get my present?” I can hear her smiling.

  “Yes, I did. Should I try it on now?” She tells me that I should, and then send her a picture. I do as I’m told, and she says she can’t wait until we’re side by side.

  “The dance is tomorrow night.”

  “Do I need to buy you a corsage?”

  “No, Rhett. I’ll pick you up around six.” I tell her okay.

  The next day I do my chores, go to school, and come home to get ready for the dance. I have Quinn helping me with my tie, when I see lights coming down the driveway.

  “I guess she’s here,” I tell Quinn.

  “Hey, if at any time it’s not comfortable or that man is a jackass to you, call me, and I’m there.” I hug her tight.

  There’s a limo parked in my driveway.

  “Are you ready?” I see Katy, sticking her head out the window. I nod, as I slide into the limo to see Mr. and Mrs. Stillman are there, too.

  “Ma’am. Sir.” I nod. “Katy, I wanted to give you this. I know it’s not expensive like you’re used to, but I saw it in a window, and I knew it would be perfect for you.” It’s a silver chain with a butterfly.

  “Oh, this is beautiful! Thank you.” She hugs me with such force. “I love it and you.”

  “So, Rhett this must be a real treat for you. It’s not every day you get to go into the country club for a dance.” Mr. Stillman laughs.

  “Quinn’s a member, so we go a lot on weekends. I like the tennis and basketball courts. The food’s not that great, though,” I reply, while holding Katy’s hand. That night we danced, and for the first time, I didn’t feel like an outsider, until Mr. Stillman started making me the punchline of all of his jokes.

  I know I fucked up.

  I punch the wall in the shower, before finally getting out. I climb into bed and grab Charlie’s pillow, clinging to it all night. I didn’t sleep at all. Katy stayed in the guest room with Emma because she knew that she wasn’t welcomed at the guest house anymore. Maddie stormed in here, calling her all sorts of names. It was my fault not Katy’s, but she wouldn’t let anyone get in a word.

  I walk downstairs to the kitchen in my basketball shorts, as I smell cinnamon rolls coming from the kitchen. I hurry in there, thinking that maybe just maybe Charlie came home.

  “Charlie!” I turn the corner, stopping in my tracks, to see someone that I don’t know. “Um, who the hell are you, and how did you get into my house?”

  “I’m Eric, the new chef.” He holds out his hand to me. “Charlie hired me for when she was out of town at the training. Did she not tell you?” Eric is a scrawny looking kid barely out of high school. How did she find him?

  “No, she didn’t tell me. What are your qualifications?”

  “I’m graduating from culinary school in the fall. I’m on break now, so she knew that I was good to work and didn’t need the full-time job. I just need the money for when I graduate to go overseas with my girlfriend, before starting to live in the real world
.”

  “Make sure you don’t put your dick in someone who isn’t your girlfriend,” I mumble, as I head over to the coffee maker.

  “What was that?” he asks.

  “Nothing. Thanks for filling in for Charlie. If you happen to run into anyone, make sure you talk to Karen first.”

  “I spoke with her yesterday. Charlie called me this morning and made sure to give me the run down. She said call her if I have questions. My orders are also not to let you use my phone, even if you threaten to fire me.” I pound the counter. I need to talk to her.

  “Fine just do your job, and don’t fuck it up.” I take my coffee up to my room.

  I pace back and forth, trying to figure out how the hell I can see Charlie. There’s a knock on the door, and it opens, as Katy sticks her head in. “Safe to come in?” She smiles at me.

  “Come in but enter at your own risk.” I sip my coffee.

  “Still no word from Charlie?” She sits on my bed, wearing an old t-shirt of mine. I swallow hard. I didn’t realize how beautiful Katy was, but when I look at her, I feel nothing.

  “No, she doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t blame her. She heard us having sex, and Emma did go into detail.” I groan.

  “I’m sorry. I know what we did was wrong, but it felt so right, though.” Katy gets off of my bed and climbs into my lap. She takes the mug and sets it down. “Why not give us a chance? We deserve it to try, and we owe it to Emma.” She kisses me and pulls me closer to her. I run my hands under her shirt, feeling her flesh on my fingertips. It’s so easy to get lost in the past. I remove my hands and move her off my lap. I’m trying to hide the hardon that I have.

  “No. I need to fix things with Charlie. She’s my future. I’m sorry. I don’t want to lead you on.”

  “Lead me on? You had sex with me!” Katy raises her voice at me.

  “We got caught up in the past. If my heart didn’t belong to Charlie, then I’d want to be with you. I’ll always love you in a way, but it’s not the same love that I feel for Charlie. I’ve never kept that from you.”