The Wounded Heart

by K. D. Worth

  Coughing and laughing, I broke the surface and splashed everywhere. Max tried to dunk me again, but this time I was ready for him. I grabbed him around the waist, stood up, and used my height as leverage to push him backward. He let out a cry of surprise, but then we were both under water, me on top of him.

  He wrestled in my arms to escape, and suddenly I became aware of how very naked we were and the delicious friction of his body against mine. A flush of arousal went through me, and I loosened my hold on him so we could both surface.

  Neither of us fought to get away.

  I laughed nervously as our legs tangled beneath the water, the soft bulges of our groins brushing thighs, and not as soft as they had been moments ago. Wrestling had pushed us farther from the shore. Not too deep for me, but it came to the top of Max’s chest.

  “Not fair, using your height advantage like that,” he said, pushing me a little, but leaving his hands to linger on my bare chest. I trembled when he ran his thumbs over my nipples, then down my sides. He knew right where to touch me to drive me wild, and no clothing hindered his advances now.

  I pushed him in return, though more as an excuse to touch him and feel his slick, wet skin. “You started it.”

  His eyes widened and he moved in, tickling my stomach. “Did not! You splashed first.”

  Laughing hysterically, I grabbed his hands before he tried to get me under my arms. He knew that was my most ticklish spot. “No tickling!”

  I couldn’t escape his wicked fingers, and part of me didn’t want to because I could feel his wiener brushing my leg. And it was getting hard.

  “Admit that you started it or I will begin tickling,” he warned.

  Flinching to dodge his fingers, I cried out. “Okay, I admit it!”

  When he reached for me, I flinched, expecting to be tickled again, but he only placed his hands on my waist. Unsure if it was another tickle ploy, I tensed until those hands slid pleasurably over my hips to rest on the small of my back. My naked erection brushed his stomach, and I shivered when his touched my thigh. I placed my hands on his shoulders, massaging.

  Neither of us was laughing anymore.

  Breathless and floating softly in the water with our feet gently touching the sand to keep the current from knocking us over, we held on to one another. I studied Max’s face, his little freckles, and the water droplets on his skin. Overcome with affection, I pushed his hair out of his eyes and kissed him.

  “Thank you for bringing me here,” I said. “It’s so awesome.”

  “Yeah.” Gaze down, he scooped up a little water and trickled it over my shoulder. It ran down my chest, and he followed it with light fingertips, flicking his thumbnail over my nipple and making me gasp. “Do you really like it?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Are you glad you came?”

  I thought about it seriously. Though the weight of everything pained me daily, right here, in this place with Max, the burden felt a lot lighter. That rush of warmth from when Max touched me had settled inside me, making me feel less lost, revived even. “Yeah, I’m glad.”

  “Good, because after we fought, I’ve been worried.”

  Dribbling water over his shoulders, I wondered why he brought that up again. “What are you still worried about?”

  “That you’re still mad at me.”

  “I’m not mad at you,” I assured him, feeling like our roles had reversed a little bit. In the beginning, he’d constantly needed to assure me. It was kinda nice to know he was just as insecure as me. “Why would you think that?”

  “You’ve been avoiding me a lot, even though you said you weren’t mad.” His voice splintered, but he spit out, “You didn’t even wanna come today.”

  I didn’t know how to answer and explain, so I simply said, “That’s not because of you.”

  His brown eyes met mine. “I know I act childish, but I’m not stupid. I can tell when someone is trying to avoid me.”

  Hearing the cruel words I’d said to him kicked me in the gut. “I’m sorry I said that, Max. I don’t think you’re childish. I was just upset about everything, and when you brought up Slade, it pushed my buttons and ticked me off.” Brushing the wet hair off his brow, I offered him a smile. “But I haven’t been avoiding you. Sometimes I just need to be alone. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  He kept his face down as he admitted very softly, “Sometimes I worry maybe you only love me because I’m the only gay kid around here. Like what if somebody better comes along? Someone older, more mature.”

  I frowned. “Max, that’s dumb. I don’t care if anybody else comes along. Certainly not Slade.”

  His voice sounded a little choked, “Maybe it is dumb, but I can’t help it. You tell him stuff that you don’t tell me, and it makes me crazy jealous. I wish you would talk to me about the serious stuff.”

  “Max, all we talk about is serious stuff,” I said, gripping his shoulders. “I thought we came here to have fun, a date. Why are you getting so sad?”

  “I’m not sad, but….”

  His obvious anxiety was physically painful for me. I put my finger under his chin and made him look at me, wanting to get to the bottom of this surprising sadness in my normally cheery, albeit cynical, boyfriend. “But what?

  “Why did you tell Slade that you’re not ready to go all the way with me?” he blurted, and it sounded like an accusation.

  Of all the things that could have come out of Max’s mouth, that was the last thing I expected.

  Dumbfounded, I gaped. “I-I have no idea what I said to give him that impression.”

  “Really?” He gave me a skeptical frown. “Because he told me that you’re not ready. But you never told me that. And here we are, naked—” He whispered the word. “—and I keep hearing Slade’s warning in my head, and I’m wondering if it’s true or not. And I’m upset that if it is, why didn’t you tell me? Am I that hard to talk to? The bed was Meegan’s idea, and yeah, I hoped… but I don’t wanna make you do anything you’re not ready for. I—”

  I kissed him quiet.

  The fervor with which he responded took me by surprise, but I quickly braced myself in the sand and hugged him, lifting him up and meshing our wet bodies tight. As if he knew my mind, Max slid his legs up my thighs, wrapping them around my waist and kissing me deeper.

  Breathless, I pulled back, not letting go. With our faces inches apart, I gazed into his brown eyes. “I don’t feel pressured, Max. I swear.”

  He studied me, lips pursed tight. “You’re sure?”

  I wriggled against him. “Do I look like I’m being forced against my will?”

  Giggling, he tightened his legs. “Don’t drop me.”

  A gentle wave pushed against us, and I threw my arms out to the side. “Oh no, what would happen? You might get wet?”

  With a squeal, he grabbed on to my neck. I knew he was faking it, but I enjoyed having him wrapped around me naked.

  “Is that what was bothering you?” I asked. “Something Slade thinks I meant, but I never said?”

  Max heaved a sigh, sobering but keeping his monkey hold on me. “I don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but I need for you to talk to me about this stuff, not Slade. It’s embarrassing that he knows about our love life when we don’t even have one.”

  “Yet,” I corrected. “We don’t have one yet. But you know, after I talk to Slade, it makes it easier for me to talk to you. I’m sorry, but he just knows a lot more stuff than both of us put together.”

  “I know,” he insisted. “Does it make you mad I’m still jealous? I’m trying not to, but….”

  I smiled and kissed him on the forehead. “No, I wish you didn’t feel that way, but I kinda like it.”

  “You brat.” He laughed, splashing me. When he wriggled to get away, I didn’t let him go.

  Beneath the water our nude bodies slid across one another in a playful but deeply erotic way, silencing our laughter almost as quickly as it began. My breath caught in my chest and our eyes met. I wa
s fully aroused being like this, so very naked.

  And so was Max.

  “Is this too much pressure?” he whispered.

  I shook my head, throat too tight to say what I thought—that there wasn’t enough pressure in certain places.

  My skin warmed the way it always did this close to him. I moved toward the shore, carrying him with me. Gazes locked, it became harder to get air into my lungs. The water rocked us to–and-fro with the flow of the waves, and I held on to him a little tighter—at least that was the excuse I went with. When the water became shallow enough to sit, I did, with Max straddling my lap. The sand was scratchy, but I barely noticed with Max on top of me.

  We both looked down at the same time. Despite the lateness of the hour, the moonlight illuminated every bit of our pale skin.

  As if in a dream, Max reached between our bodies and touched me.

  I gasped.

  “Can I?” He withdrew and his eyes met mine, silently asking me if we were still cool, that he hadn’t crossed a line.

  Chewing on my lower lip, I nodded, unable to speak.

  The smile that crept across his face was nervous, yet full of wonder as he ran his palm across me. Yes, he’d touched me before, but never like this, no underwear, jeans, or people interrupting his oh-so-thorough explorations. Every muscle in my body tightened and tingled with pleasure.

  I can’t believe we’re doing this!

  Wanting to feel him too, my hand copied his, and for a moment we both were lost to exploring, touching, and relishing the familiar yet unique parts of each other’s bodies.

  “Max,” I gasped when his stroking grew more insistent, and I thought I might lose control. I removed his hand, and then he cupped my face, kissing me hard, tongue diving deep. I braced myself from the force and passion of his kiss. His legs ratcheted around my waist, and he writhed against me, our bodies struggling to get closer, though in the back of my mind, I didn’t know if that was even possible.

  My heart raced a mile a minute, blood pounding. I didn’t know how far we were going to go, but this was the first time we had been alone since the day we met. The other day in my room, when we’d almost repeated our first time together, had been a mere teaser. Now that we were totally alone, it hadn’t taken us long to get naked. Back in my dorm room we’d gone pretty far, but my actions had been borne of hiding and pain. Not love.

  Tonight was so very different.

  Were we ready? I thought so. All those stolen kisses, the holding hands and secretive groping sessions in the hallway had led us to this. A culmination of hormones, desire, and curiosity. There was no one I trusted or wanted more than Max. We had been bonded so long ago that deep in my soul, I wanted to share this with him.

  It could be no one else.

  “Max,” I managed around kisses. “I love you.” Though I’d told him already, I felt like he might need to know again.

  Breathing heavily through his nose, he caressed my wet face, gaze heavy from arousal. He smiled, and I knew then I should tell him I loved him as often as possible if I wanted to see that smile. “I love you too.”

  “Do you wanna get out and dry off?”

  “Yeah, I want to… um, if you do?” he added hopefully, his voice squeaking a bit.

  Kissing him once, I untangled myself from him and stood, keeping his hand in mine. I led us to the shore, and when I glanced at Max, he wasn’t looking at me.

  Well, he wasn’t looking at my face.

  When his gaze moved upward, his obvious pleasure made me smile, and my chest swelled with pride at how big I’d gotten. My stomach did a flip-flop as my gaze soaked in his body, wet, glistening and fully aroused.

  His penis was different than mine, shorter but about the same thickness. Mine was pointier than his too, and lay along my leg, while his jutted straight out. Our eyes met and we both giggled nervously. I wondered if he noticed and enjoyed the differences as much as I did.

  Desperate to feel him again, I brought him into my arms and kissed him, the waves splashing against our shins. Without the water between us, the heat of his skin was even more fantastic. His touch filled me with love and desire like I’d never experienced before. Yes, he made me warm, but there had always been clothes between us. Now there was nothing.

  It was indescribable.

  Before we lost it right there in the sand—which didn’t sound all that bad—I dragged Max toward the stairs.

  “Remind me to thank Meegan for making us this place,” I said, taking the stairs two at a time, then slowing when I almost tripped in my eagerness.

  Behind me, Max made a funny noise. “I don’t wanna think about Meegan right now.”

  Laughing, I glanced back and found his attention locked on my backside. I blushed but my heart skipped with anticipation. I’d never seen that expression on his face before, eager and primal.

  I liked it.

  A lot.

  We found towels and dried off, our eyes exploring where in only moments our hands would. The large bed loomed before us, and suddenly nervousness replaced the thrill.

  For so many years I’d been told my desires were bad, a sin. Since I’d become a reaper, those voices had quieted, and Slade’s constant, logical advice made it easier to dismiss them if they surfaced. No, guilt did not make me hesitate now. I felt perfectly comfortable with Max, and I wanted to trust him with everything.

  But if we got into that bed, there would be no going back.

  “Kody?” Max questioned, his wildly intuitive personality picking up on my hesitation. “Do you wanna get dressed?”

  Eyes wide, I shot him a look. His wet brown hair stuck up all over the place, and he held a towel in his hands, hiding his erection. I swallowed hard, and my body seemed to harden further—if such a thing were possible. I hastily covered myself too. “No, um… It’s just….” I struggled to put my feelings into words.

  Somehow, Max knew just what I was thinking.

  He always did.

  With an amused sigh, he sat on the bed, towel over his lap. He bent one knee so he could face me. “It’s a big step.”

  I sat next to him, our bodies’ obvious desire managing to insert itself wordlessly into the conversation despite the towels. Slade claimed getting physical was a distraction from my problems, and I’d agreed that he had a point. It could be where he got the idea I wasn’t ready for this.

  Was I ready?

  Saying nothing, I studied how similar yet very different Max was from me. His smooth, flat chest, void of the little bit of hair I had on my chest. His muscular arms. His solid legs. I swallowed hard, blood thumping. I allowed my gaze to travel up his torso until our gazes met. “You’re beautiful.”

  He smiled shyly. “Don’t you mean handsome?”

  I shrugged, overwhelmed with emotions I wasn’t sure how to quantify. But one thing was for sure. “I love you, Max.”

  That grin returned and it truly was beautiful. “Me too,” he said, reaching for my hand.

  My doubts washed away at his touch.

  And then we kissed.

  I wished I had the talent to explain all the things running through my head, but I could do nothing but feel, kiss, and explore. My brain and body went on overload, desperate to get lost in the pleasure again. Whether a distraction from reality or not, being with Max made everything better. It always had.

  Trusting him made me feel safe and loved.

  Then tell him your idea to help Britany, a tiny voice whispered in the back of my mind.

  Pushing away the unwelcome thought—how creepy to think about my sister at a time like this!—I pulled back from the kiss and smiled at him, promising myself that I would tell Max everything. If I’d trusted him earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so messed up in my head. We wouldn’t have fought, and he wouldn’t be so worried.

  If I could trust Max with this moment, then I should trust him with everything else, right?

  But we had no more need for talk as we came together in another mind-numbing kiss. I scoote
d toward him, dropping my towel because everything was better when we were touching. It didn’t take long before we were back in the same position that we’d been in the water—Max straddling my lap.

  I didn’t know why, maybe because of his short height, but we always seemed to end up in this position. The last time we’d made out, he’d ridden me. Remembering how confident he’d been, taking charge, and driving me to the edge, made me shudder. If we’d had one more minute….

  Well, no one would interrupt us here.

  My heart skipped when his butt cheeks brushed against my erection. Did he want me to…?

  A jolt of panic made me giggle, surprising both of us.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, eyes wide. “What did I do wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I assured him, still feeling giggly. Running my hands up his naked back, I stared at his mouth as I spoke, avoiding his eyes. “We always end up like this… with you on… with your legs around me… and um, your butt….” Too mortified to even finish, I let my voice trail off in another nervous chuckle. My entire body pulsed with embarrassment.

  “Is it okay?”

  The tremble of fear in his voice had me looking up. “Yeah, it’s great,” I said at once, then hesitated. “If it’s what you want, I mean? I don’t wanna assume….”

  His face reddened before he buried it against my neck. “Yeah, it feels… um, right, I guess.”

  With a gentle finger to his chin, I made him look at me, reminding myself that while he had been in existence longer than me, he was still sixteen and I was eighteen. I had to be the mature one for both of us. “I don’t think I’m ready for that, though.”

  His body melted in my arms. “Thank God,” he said in a rush.

  “Yeah?”

  He nodded. “This is good… uh, being naked, rubbing,” he whispered the last word, giggling nervously and glancing away. “But, um… the other stuff? It, um… kinda scares me. What if it hurts?”

  “I’ll never hurt you,” I promised, then kissed his cheek. “But let’s not worry about it now, okay?”

  He nodded against me.