The Wounded Heart

by K. D. Worth

  “I didn’t even get to say good-bye,” he sobbed, unable to catch his breath. “The last thing I did was roll my eyes at her!”

  “She smiled at you, though. She wasn’t upset,” I said, tucking his head under my chin.

  “Why didn’t she let me say good-bye?” His voice cracked. “She just left. She just left me with no warning. She left me all alone. I don’t wanna be alone, Kody… I don’t wanna… I can’t—” His words were cut off in a coughing fit as he struggled to breathe through his grief.

  “You’re not alone. I know it feels like that now,” I managed. “But it’ll be okay.”

  “What happens when I lose you?” he cried, grabbing at my shirt, and giving me the most desperate, wretched expression I’d ever seen. “When you leave, I won’t have anyone!”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him, though he was nearly hysterical.

  “Yes, you are,” he sobbed against my chest, his fists shaking as he clutched and pulled on my shirt. “Yes, you are!”

  “Shhh,” I cooed, tugging him closer. “I’m never leaving you. We’re a team. Where’d you get an idea like that?”

  He coughed again, choking on his tears. “Slade said so… a-and you hear people talking to God.” He sobbed harder, his words slurred. “A-and what you did with the wraith,” he moaned, spit flicking from his lips. “You’re not staying… I’ll be all alone… forever….”

  Another gut-wrenching wail cut off that last frantic word.

  Knowing his voice carried to the common room where Slade told the rest of the team the sad news, I created a barrier around us, not wanting another soul to witness him at his lowest. I couldn’t seem to reason with him—and maybe I should just let it all run its course—but I could at least protect him from others eavesdropping on us.

  “No, you won’t be alone,” I promised, having no idea what he babbled about. “I will never leave you. Never.”

  Though Max still cried, an ominous weight lifted off me at that vow, taking with it the fear that had been haunting me since my first day as a reaper.

  Something happened to me today, and the longer I held Max, the clearer my thoughts became. That same power he’d revived me with funneled into me now, like a circle of energy, uniting us and making us both strong. The wraith and Britany had drained me, but touching Max, feeling his heat and fire, made me stronger. Despite his horrific agony, with every ounce I took, he became stronger too. I could feel it.

  His tears lessened and his grief waned—from exhaustion or acceptance, I could only hope it was the latter. I didn’t know what would come our way, but I knew in my soul I would never leave him. I didn’t understand why Slade said I wasn’t staying, but just then, it didn’t matter. Because no matter what happened or where we ended up, Max and I would be together.

  Forever.

  MAX—Chapter 21

  “HEY, YOU.”

  Curled up in my bed, perusing Ed Carter’s journal for the umpteenth time, I glanced over as Kody popped his head inside my room. I managed a smile, setting the book on the nightstand. I held out my hand to draw him to me. “Hi.”

  Kody closed the door then sat next to me, taking my hand. “Feeling good today?”

  “A little better every day,” I told him honestly, and it was even truer with his hand in mine.

  Two weeks had passed since the night Meegan moved on to heaven, and I was still having a hard time getting used to her being gone. I knew she was in a better place, but I missed her every single day. I tried not to be sad around Kody, but I knew he could feel it. We really couldn’t hide things from each other, and I was wondering why we even tried.

  It hadn’t done us a whole heap of good.

  Kody nodded toward the journal. “Learn anything new?”

  I could tell by his stiff posture he both wanted and feared my answer. Not that I blamed him. We’d been through a lot lately—heck, we’d been through a lot since we’d met! But there were still so many things we didn’t know. After reading about Ed’s exploits, however, I realized that we knew a crap ton more than he did. With everything we’d experienced, Kody and I should write a journal.

  “No, same ol’ same ol’.” Smiling, I stroked his leg. “So what’s up?”

  “I came in to tell you that Slade’s back.”

  “Yippee skippy,” I said bitterly. After Slade told the team about Meegan, he’d gone MIA, per his usual. “Where was he this time? An angel party?”

  Kody laughed. “Yeah, probably. I hear there ain’t no party like an angel party,” he said with a head bob.

  That made me chuckle.

  I pulled on Kody’s hand until he climbed all the way into bed with me. Lying face-to-face, holding hands, I felt that warm familiar sensation we created—that cyclical circuit of fire, love, and support—connecting us. Any time he touched me, the hole in my heart shrank a little bit more, filling with light and love.

  Yes, I missed my best friend, but every day with Kody brought me one step closer to being Max again. That warmth, the light within me was coming back stronger too.

  “Did Slade say where he was?” I wanted to know.

  “No, you know how he is.”

  I sniffed. Yeah, do I ever.

  “He just told us that the whole crew is gonna be training with him, one-on-one.”

  “They are?”

  “I guess after everything that happened, he wants all of us to be prepared.”

  So Slade was finally ready to assemble the troops.

  About time.

  Fearing for Kody’s safety, I hugged him tight, burying my face in his chest. I didn’t want to think about our future. He was here, with me, and he was safe. We might have a big destiny to fulfill, but for now I just wanted to enjoy the peace and serenity of being in his arms.

  Kody burrowed into me. “We’re gonna be training with Slade too. Together.”

  “We are?”

  “Yeah, as soon as you’re up to it.” Kody caressed my arm, and I snuggled closer to him. “He wants you to get good at shielding us when we’re out in the field.”

  I still couldn’t wrap my head around having skills pop up when I needed them most. Lightning blasts and now force fields? It was pretty cool on one hand, though rather unsettling on the other. And completely surreal. I suppose I should’ve had more faith, not thinking Slade or God would send out a protector who wasn’t able to protect.

  “Do you think you’ll be ready to go out soon?” Kody rested his chin on my head, and I linked our legs, loving being close like this.

  Though I wished—foolishly—that we could stay here forever, I nodded in answer. “Yeah, I think it’s about time I got my butt out of this funk.” I could all but hear Meegan scolding me for bumming everyone out.

  It could be an eternity before I heard her voice again. What if I forgot the sound of it? My eyes smarted, and I blinked hard several times. I was so tired of crying.

  “Good, because I miss you.”

  When he stroked my cheek, I smiled. “That’s good to know. I wouldn’t want you to like working with the other reapers more than me.”

  “Never.”

  Kody had been going out on assignments with Heather at first, but over the last few days he’d taken different trips with some of our other reaper friends. Kody told me it was because Slade wanted all of us to work together as a team, less one-on-one.

  Just another clue that something big was brewing on the horizon.

  “You’re being safe out there?” I asked him. I hadn’t voiced it, but I’d been none too happy that Slade was allowing him to go out into the human realm to reap souls when I wasn’t there.

  “Always,” Kody assured me. “I’m not even delivering the Touch.”

  “You’re not?” I asked in surprise, jerking my head back to look up at him. The nervous way he chewed him lip suddenly made me nervous.

  “Max?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I need to tell you something,” he whispered. “Something I should have t
old you from the beginning.”

  “What’s that?” I asked, holding my breath.

  “Well, I didn’t want to bother you after everything, but I think you should know.” He placed his hand on my chest and studied it for a moment, not meeting my eye. “When I help people cross over, the spirits drain me. Like literally drain me.”

  I cocked my head in confusion. He didn’t mean…? Then it hit me. “The wraith, she took all your energy. The other charges do that too?”

  Still chewing his lip, he nodded.

  He promised that he would eventually always tell me what was plaguing him, and I had promised to be patient—but patience had never been a trait I possessed. Not wanting to push, but needing an answer, I whispered, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I tried to the first time it happened, but you said some assignments were harder than others, so I thought it was normal. But then it just got worse and… I just… I thought I was doing something wrong, and I didn’t say anything because, well? I didn’t want you to think I sucked at being a reaper.”

  “I would never think that!” Instantly I threw my arms around him and kissed him.

  Kody returned the kiss with equal fervor and for the first time in days, being this close to him roused that familiar, never-forgotten passion. I pressed closer, french kissing him for all I was worth.

  Before things went where my body suddenly wanted them to go, Kody pulled back, gasping a little. He brushed the hair from my brow and gazed deep into my eyes. “I know, I should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

  “All this time, the spirits have been draining you? Like physically?”

  He nodded again.

  I’d noticed Kody withdrawing, being morose. But here I’d just thought he was falling into a depression, like when he’d been human. Though I imagined this physical weakness wasn’t helping his mental or emotional health. Doubtless they were interconnected.

  “Babe,” I began, “you can’t just not tell me something like this. I’m supposed to take care of you.”

  Though Kody had been the one caring for me lately.

  “I didn’t realize what was happening at first,” Kody went on. “I mean when we go out together, we take turns delivering the Touch, so it wasn’t bad every time. I thought if I watched you, studied harder, it would stop happening. Do you think something is wrong with me?”

  His tiny voice broke my heart. I hugged him close, my pulse racing. “No, no. Of course not. You’re perfect. Don’t I tell you that all the time? When you gonna start listening to me?”

  He forced a smile. “I don’t know.”

  I cupped his cheek. “So delivering the Touch drains you?”

  “It’s not just that, it’s the whole thing. Even if you do it, I feel them draining me,” Kody explained. “The harder they resist, the less faith they have that heaven is real, well… the harder it is on me.”

  “What do you mean?” I prompted softly.

  “It’s like this. If it’s an old person and they want to go be with their wife or whatever, they don’t take much from me. It’s easier if they already believe they’re going to heaven. If they want to go. That car accident a few weeks ago, Jeremy? He didn’t want to go, and he took a lot from me. The doctor that argued with us that there was no God, she took even more. And that wraith….” He trembled and looked away. “You know, I heard them, right?”

  “Who? The wraiths?”

  He shook his head. “No, the shades. They were all calling to me. Asking for my help.”

  This was the first time Kody had volunteered anything about that night, and I tried to remain calm. We had been together constantly, but we hadn’t talked about it very much, let alone dissected what we’d experienced. After losing Meegan I hadn’t been in the mood to replay that night, and it didn’t seem Kody was either. But he had buckled over in pain in that apartment, asking Heather and me if we could hear them. Everything had moved so fast, been so hectic, and then Meegan… that it never really registered what he’d meant until just now. “You really heard them?”

  “Yeah, just like we can hear our charges thinking.” Kody trembled. “Only worse, louder because they were so scared.”

  Wait, what?

  First my boyfriend could feel people praying. Then all the spirits were draining him. And he could revert wraiths to their true spirit form. But now he was hearing thoughts just like Slade?

  I didn’t know what to say.

  What did all of this mean?

  Kody had a higher purpose, of that I held no doubt.

  The question was: am I supposed to be a part of it?

  A flash of pain whipped through me and I felt my fingertips smarting with heat. I took a slow nasal breath, drawing on the training Slade had given me to push that panic away—for now.

  Fixing my attention on the present, on Kody, I studied his face, the sharp lines, the perfect sweeping brows, and that fringe of thick black lashes. I loved him so much. As much as I dreaded the fulfillment of Slade’s ominous remarks about losing Kody, I needed to have faith that it would all work out the way it was supposed to. We loved each other, shared a special bond that none of the other reapers had. My friendship with Meegan had been strong, but my connection to Kody was different, soul deep.

  Guilt washed over me. Just the thought of him being weakened and me not noticing, of him carrying all these burdens alone, made me ache inside, heartsick. I’d been so wrapped up in studying the shades and wraiths, and then the drama with Kody’s family and my own grief, that I’d been so oblivious to everything.

  I wanted—no, I needed to be everything Kody needed, to support and protect him. But how could I do that if I wasn’t in tune with what was going on with him, both physically and mentally?

  God,

  Please help me to be stronger, better for Kody. I don’t know what all his special abilities mean, but give me patience and faith. Help me help him so we can protect the spirits and deliver them to You. Thank you for blessing me with his love and trust, and please, please, help me to understand what it means to be his protector.

  Amen.

  Kody quirked his brow at me. He felt that I was praying, but he did not say anything.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I should have noticed that the spirits were draining you. I—”

  He placed a finger on my lips. “Don’t be. Having you here, at my side,” he whispered, eyes wide. “It’s made it all easier. Like you make me stronger.”

  “I do?” I thought about it. “Yeah, I do.”

  Flashes of the night Meegan left me came flooding back, all of it making so much more sense now. The wraith had drained Kody and he’d been so weak. Then when I touched him, the heat I always felt around Kody—the very energy that helped me shoot light and make a shield—had poured out of me and into Kody, fusing us together until he grew stronger. Slade had told me to help Kody, that it was my “job.” I’d understood in that moment what it meant to be his protector.

  Had I been doing this all along?

  I sniffed. I’d just asked God to help me understand and suddenly so many truths began to click into place.

  “The warmth we feel when we’re together?” I clarified. “It makes you feel stronger.”

  “Yeah,” he said, his smile traveling with relief to his eyes. “Touching you revives me. You give me back what they take.”

  “I think you’re smart to allow the other reapers to deliver the Touch. To wait until I’m with you then.”

  “That’s what I was thinking.” He glanced down and whispered, “I’m afraid to do it without you.”

  He looked so small just then I kissed him, drawing a little smile from him. “Then you won’t,” I vowed. “Starting tomorrow, I’m back.”

  His brow shot up. “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.” Then I thought about what he’d told me. “So every time we touch—not just that night or after a crossover—you’re like what?” I couldn’t come up with the right word. “Siphoning energy from me?”r />
  “It just kinda happens. Does it drain you when I do that?” he asked, looking concerned.

  I smiled at him in reassurance. “No, it doesn’t. I never even noticed it was happening. I was just warm and happy when I was with you. Actually, that night, the more you took the stronger I felt.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah.” I squeezed his hand on my chest where said warmth brewed inside me, funneling into Kody and making me feel better than even a moment ago. “It’s like, just thinking of you makes this heat build up inside me. I thought you were feeling the same thing. That we were both getting warm when we were together.”

  Kody shook his head. “No, I just feel how warm you are.”

  “Huh” was all I could say.

  Not sure I was happy about this secret-keeping nonsense we’d started, I looked him in the eye. “No more secrets.”

  “No more secrets,” he agreed, placing his chin on my shoulder. We stayed still like that, relishing our—correct that—the warmth I created for us.

  After a long moment, Kody sighed. “I think it will be fun to train together.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I agreed. “We’re always better together, aren’t we?”

  Kody leaned forward and kissed me. “Always.”

  KODY—Chapter 22

  “YOU READY to go?”

  I looked at Slade, then back to my sister.

  Britany sat in a circle of other addicts in a small room. Arms crossed and attitude written all over her face, she barely participated in the group counseling session. After the EMTs had administered some antiheroin medicine, she’d been taken to the hospital and eventually had been placed in court-ordered rehab, just like Max predicted. With every annoyed sigh or eye roll she dished out to the counselor, I fought a smile.

  She might have a long road of recovery, but at least she was alive to recover.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’m ready to go.”

  “You sure?” he said softly, hand on my shoulder. “Because this is it. You’re never coming back.”