by Hattie Jude
“I have homework,” I mumble, biting into an apple.
“So you’ll get your homework done now, and be down here with your smiling face by seven. I’m not asking…”
If I could be paid for the times I’ve heard her say, “I’m not asking, I’m insisting…” I’d have no need to ever work in my life. I’d be independently wealthy and could retire on a sandy beach somewhere, drinking umbrella drinks.
I don’t dare argue. I’m too tired to win and wouldn’t even if I was well-rested. Sarah or “Sookie” Sinclair—either persona is a force who refuses to be disregarded.
The Cromwells arrive at seven on the dot and I reluctantly make my way down the stairs in my “presentable” attire. My hair swishes around my waist and elbows as I walk.
Turns out I’m the one surprised once again. The Cromwells have a son my age and turns out I know him. Ashton stares up at me and grins, and I almost stumble down the stairs. He’s not as tall or as handsome as Raf, but he’s not suffering in the looks department. Not at all.
His hair is buzzed, which draws all of my attention to his deep brown eyes and full lips.
“Hello,” he says with a smirk.
I lower my eyes to the floor, uncertain if I have bullying to look forward to in my own home or if we’re going to perform the act of all acts. Pure fakery. “Hello.”
My mom holds onto my elbow. She looks like a different person when she’s out of her stage makeup and wearing conservative clothes…or clothes at all. Tonight, she’s playing the part of Suzy the homemaker. “This is Stuart and Lisa Cromwell and their son, Ashton.”
The Cromwells are a striking couple with a dignified air about them. They must not recognize my mother—I doubt they’d be here if they did. Mr. Cromwell holds out his hand and I shake it, then Mrs. Cromwell’s, and last of all, Ashton’s.
“And this is my daughter, Gabriela,” Mom says. “Ashton goes to Longlake. He’s a senior too,” she adds.
It’s hard not to do a full eye roll, but I hold it in. “Yeah, we’ve met.”
“Oh.” My mother shakes her head and grimaces when I don’t say anything else. “Gabi has spent most of her schooling at home, so it’s a new experience at Longlake, I’m afraid. I think you’ll be great for her, Ashton.”
My eyes widen and I shoot her a look. My lack of “experience” is because of her isolating me, but I don’t say anything. Of course, she’s studiously avoiding me. I feel the color rise on my cheeks and look at Ashton again. He’s grinning wide, enjoying the show.
The dinner feels never ending, between the heat in Ashton’s eyes as he watches me across the table and our parents getting to know one another. Ashton’s parents brag about him being the star quarterback at school. Apparently, he already has several schools interested in giving him a full-ride scholarship. I couldn’t care less about football, but I try to act interested. I do think it’s cool that he could get a great scholarship doing something he loves. With everything that happened with Luke and the fallout afterward, I got so far offtrack with school that it will take a miracle for me to make up for it. It’d be nice not to worry about getting in somewhere.
When they leave, with my mom promising Ashton that I’ll watch for him at school tomorrow, I collapse against the door and stare at her.
“What was that about?” I groan.
“What are you talking about?” Her voice is nonchalant, but she has to bite the side of her mouth to keep from smiling. “It can’t hurt you to get to know Ashton,” she says. “He seems like a sweet kid…you heard his parents—he’s the star quarterback and will have his pick of schools. We’re new to this town and you wanted to experience life.” She does jazz hands and I groan. “He’ll be a good friend to have, but you have to make a little more effort.”
I’m too annoyed to speak. I go upstairs and slam my door.
Ashton was nice tonight. But I wonder what he’ll be like tomorrow when Raf is watching.
“Your mom was okay with you coming out this late on a school night?” Laura sits across from me at a coffee shop near my house.
“She doesn’t argue with me when I say I need to meet with my sponsor.” I smile at Laura. She was recommended to me at my first Long Island AA meeting and I’ve been happy with her so far. I didn’t love Patricia, my sponsor in Vegas, so that was no big loss. Laura is down-to-earth and much easier to talk to than Patricia, who was older than my mom and more judgmental.
“How’s it going at school?”
I crinkle my nose and she copies my expression. “Uh-oh. Well, let’s get to the big question. Has it made you want to drink?”
“No, not really. I feel pretty solid. I guess I just wanted to see you before I get that feeling because…this school will be a challenge.”
A guy’s face flashes across Laura’s phone and she groans, picking it up to turn the sound off. “My brother,” she says. “Forgot to turn my sound down. Sorry about that. I’ll call him back later.”
“I won’t be long. We could’ve done this over the phone…I just needed to see one friendly, non-manipulative face today.”
“Ouch, that bad, huh?”
“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this, but fortunately, it’s just the one year, right?”
“Right. Look, you’re beautiful and nice…you’re smart. It might take time, but I think you’ll find your crew. You only need one true friend to make a difference. Join a few clubs, see if you can find your people.” She smiles and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “And call me if it gets to be too much.”
I nod, looking down at the napkin that I can’t stop picking apart. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this stressed and not had a drink. “I know you’re right. Thank you. This has helped.”
“Every day is a new beginning.”
“There’s the mantra.” I laugh and she gives me a fake scowl before laughing too.
I hope she’s right. I already need a new beginning at Longlake.
Chapter Three
The next morning, my mom is still home. Is she purposely trying to ruin my life? I’m not used to her not being a full-time porn star. I think some of her edge is due to her retirement…and the lack of orgasms she’s “faking” these days. Do I sound bitter much?
I’ve already ignored a call from my dad today—he’s three hours earlier than we are and sounded agitated to be leaving a message. I’m not ready to talk to him yet. The problem is I never will be. I hate that he even knows where we are.
I pour a cup of coffee and brush past her to take it upstairs while I get ready, when she stops me.
“I told Ashton’s mom you could use a ride to school this morning.”
I freeze. “Mom, seriously? That’s so embarrassing. And so obvious,” I let out a long groan. “Let me get to know the guy first before pushing me on him. We don’t even know him. I thought you wanted me to have nothing to do with guys. Remember that?”
“I wanted you to have nothing to do with Luke. There’s a difference.”
“What about us fitting in? This is desperate.” I throw my head back, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll drive myself.”
“Give him a chance. I’m not asking, Gabriela, I’m insisting.”
“Mom.” I shake my head. When I’m upstairs, I set the coffee down and try to still my shaking hands. I’m too mad to think straight. Why do I let her get to me?
I leave without saying bye to her, something I’ll hear about later, but I hope to get out of here before Ashton shows up. I don’t want to make him mad, but I’m not comfortable riding with a guy I still don’t know.
He pulls in just as I’m opening my car door. Damn.
His muscular body fits the whole sports car vibe and I reluctantly slide into the passenger seat. The smell of fresh soap and pine hits me when I close the door. He eyes me appreciatively and my nerves relax somewhat. If he wasn’t always hanging around Raf, I’d think he was a nice guy.
“Looking good this morning, Gabriela.” He buckles up and then leans his
back against the door to look at me. “I can drive tomorrow too if you want.”
“That’s okay.”
“I mean, I’m not gonna turn down a chance to hang out with you,” he says.
Heat rushes up my neck and face and it gets hotter as he chuckles.
“So what are the people like at Longlake?” I ask as we pull out of the driveway. I don’t see Raf, which is a relief.
“Most just want to have a good time, honestly,” he says. “What was your first impression?”
“So far it seems like there are a lot of privileged brats.” I shrug. “And bullies.”
His groan is loud and I grin in spite of myself. His laugh is contagious and surprisingly sets me at ease.
“Sorry about Raf. He’s…tortured.”
“What do you mean?”
I glance at him and catch him staring at my chest. With a porn star mother, my boobs are nothing in comparison, considering hers are fake, but they’re more than a handful. Still, most guys I’ve met never look me in the eye. He seems embarrassed when he sees that I noticed and I turn back to the road, ignoring my nerves. It would be nice to have someone interested in getting to know me. Maybe my mom is right—maybe Ashton can help.
“Just that he’s not as bad as he seems, but he can also be a real asshole at times. Case in point, the lasagna.”
“Oh, you think?” I shake my head. Unbelievable.
“I don’t know why you seem to set him off.”
“So it’s my fault.”
“No. That’s not what I mean at all. I’m sorry for the way it’s been so far for you at Longlake. It’ll get better.”
When we pull into the parking lot, speak of the jerk himself. Raf and Henry are leaning against Raf’s car, arms folded and looking like a magazine layout. Raf’s eyes narrow when he sees me in the car with Ashton.
“We have some of the same classes, so I’ll see you later,” I say before getting out of the car.
“Yeah. Hey, Gabriela? Watch your back, okay?”
I get a chill across my skin and nod. So many questions, but now is not the time or place. He steps in place next to me as we walk toward the school and I glance at Raf as we walk past. He looks ready to explode. I sigh.
“Your friends are waiting. Thanks for the ride.” I give Ashton a little wave and he starts to say something but I rush off before he can.
Things get worse at lunch. I’d hoped my table partners would keep walking and not do a repeat of the day before, but I’m not so fortunate. Raf and Henry walk up and Henry says something under his breath that sounds like, “Sweet tits,” but I can’t be sure. Raf punches him in the arm and Henry’s tray nearly goes flying. He gets a grip on it before we have another lasagna down my shirt situation. Raf sits next to me and when Ashton comes up a few minutes later and sits on the other side of me, Raf growls.
I look at him incredulously. “Did you just growl?” I spit out.
He snorts next to me and again I look at him like he’s crazy. It’s the most awkward lunch I’ve ever had and I’m actually relieved when four girls walk up and start talking to the guys. They’re the girls I see falling all over themselves anytime Raf, Henry, and Ashton are nearby.
“Raf, you should have a party this weekend after the game since your dad’s going out of town. We can have a bonfire by the water,” Ashton says.
Raf is digging into his food like he’s starving. “That can be arranged,” he says and takes another huge bite of his cheeseburger.
“I’ll be there.” A tall redhead leans over Ashton so she can show him and Raf her cleavage.
Ashton clears his throat. “This is Amber.” He points at the others one at a time. “Heidi, Melanie, Jen.”
The table goes quiet.
I hold up my hand and don’t bother smiling at any of them when they don’t acknowledge me.
“Gabriela should come too.” Ashton peers around me to Raf then grins at me.
“She isn’t invited,” Raf says, pushing away from the table.
Ashton frowns. “Raf, man. Don’t be an asshole.”
They both have balls, I’ll give them that.
Raf’s tense as he stands up. But when a slow smile flits across his lips, that scares me more than his typical scowl. “You know what? I don’t think we can trust you to keep your mouth shut, can we, new girl? You’re gonna run home to Mommy and tell her there’s a party going on, aren’t you?”
“It’s Gabriela, remember?” I mutter under my breath. “And I won’t say a word. I wouldn’t go to your party even if I was invited.”
I wonder what happens at his parties that he’d be concerned about my mom finding out about it.
“We’ve already decided you’re not good enough for us.” Heidi’s lip curls up with disgust. She’s the one I’ve seen hanging on Raf the most. I wonder if they’re a couple. “You’re a charity project and we don’t want to take you on.” She laughs and her girlfriends all fall in line, laughing along with her.
I shrug. “I live in the same neighborhood as Raf, so I must not be too bad off.”
Her head whips around to Raf. “Is that true?”
He rolls his eyes and grabs my arm. “Word with you.”
I follow him into the hall after I take care of my tray. He’s out there already and when I step out, he cages me in with his arms.
“Here’s how we’re going to do this. You owe me.” He waits for me to respond, but I just fold my arms across my chest and wait for him to finish his nonsense.
It seems to throw him off when I don’t say anything.
“You pay up and I’ll let you come to my party.”
“I said I’d take care of the car and I will. I don’t need a pity invite to come to your stupid party.”
He leans in closer and there it is—that swirly feeling in my gut again, damn him. He’s so close, our lips could touch if he just leaned in a teensy bit closer. My heart gallops away and I feel like I’m going to hyperventilate. I want him to kiss me more than anything. No, don’t be an idiot, I reason with myself. But my body isn’t paying any attention to reasoning.
“You’re my toy to bat around so you’re coming to the party.” The seduction in his voice doesn’t match what’s coming out of his mouth and I frown, wishing I knew what this guy’s problem is. “Ashton wants in your pants, pure and simple. And you look at him like you wouldn’t mind.”
“He does not,” I scoff but wonder if he’s right. I have seen Ashton checking me out several times. “Why would you care who wants in my pants?”
“I’m trying to decide how I’m going to make you pay first…and he doesn’t fit into my plans. Tell him you’re not interested and I’ll see you Friday night.”
“There’s no way I’d ever come to your party.” I say it without thinking and then wish I could suck the words back in.
His face goes through a series of expressions that have me wanting to both console and slap him. It settles on thunderous and I take a step back but the wall won’t give.
He leans by my ear and I feel his lips brush against it, sending goose bumps scattering across my entire body. “Dare on,” he whispers.
My face heats and I swallow hard. I just want to go to school in peace, make decent grades, maybe have a date or two here and there. Is that too much to ask?
Raf’s arms drop and he walks away, gloating. I can’t go to that party, and I need to make sure my mother is as far from home as possible on Friday night so she doesn’t call the cops if it’s loud. I can’t count on her to be as cool as I want her to be.
When Ashton walks into calculus, Raf turns to see if I’m paying attention. Two girls are flanking Ashton and he’s smiling at both of them appreciatively. One of the girls leans in and whispers something in his ear. She hands him a piece of paper and he puts it in his pocket. Looks like both Raf and I misread Ashton’s attention toward me, which, I have to say, is a relief. The last thing I want is come between friends and this rivalry with Raf doesn’t seem like it will ease up any t
ime soon.
But when Ashton sees me, his eyes light up. “Hey, there you are.”
He lifts a hand up to the girls and I see their shoulders fall when he looks at me. The one who gave him the paper glares when he sits next to me. I avoid looking at Raf, but I can feel the tension radiating from the other side of the room.
“How’s it going?”
“Everyone’s been okay. I like most of my classes. The last one was boring, but the rest haven’t been bad.”
Mr. Johnson comes into class like he’s on fire. Papers stick haphazardly out of his folders, and overall, he looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. The guy needs a vacation. Or to get laid. Maybe both.
“We have a quiz today,” he says and the class groans. “I know it’s early, but it’ll be fun, I swear.”
He hands out the papers and drops one of his folders, sending a slew of quizzes flying across the room. Several kids laugh out loud and when no one else moves to help him, I get up and gather his papers, handing him a tidier stack.
“Thank you, Miss Sinclair. You deserve extra credit for your kindness.” He grins and pushes up his glasses, leaving them even more crooked.
“Ass kisser,” someone whispers loudly and the room cracks up.
I sit back down and there’s a note on my desk. I pick it up and glance around to see who wrote it. Raf’s scowl is even deeper, three deep grooves etched between his brows. I swallow hard and open the note.
It won’t be long before everyone knows what a slut you are.
I look at Ashton and he glances up with a slight smile. Raf is staring at his book and the girls I met at lunch are behind me, either digging in a purse or straightening notebooks. The girl across from me looks over and I hold up the note.
“Did you see where this came from?” I whisper.
She shakes her head. “No.”
I stick the note in my folder and focus on the teacher for the rest of the class. It’s just someone trying to intimidate me. They couldn’t know anything about me yet…and how would they ever find out about Luke?