Unspoken Words (Unspoken #1)

by H. P. Davenport

  Christian doesn’t speak, he just shakes his head back and forth. I can see the anger in his eyes. I know my brother better than anyone. He’s gonna blame himself for not being there to protect me.

  Bringing my gaze back to Jamie, I lean my body toward him. He wraps his arms around me, cradling me against his chest while telling me how sorry he is.

  My head is cloudy and everything hurts. What seems like hours, probably has only been minutes, when I notice the paramedics are in the room. The female medic asks if she can examine me. She tells me they need to try and control the bleeding on my head before they transport me to the hospital. I didn’t realize how bad I’m bleeding.

  Looking at my hands, they are covered in my own blood. There is blood pooled on the floor where I was lying. Seeing all the blood, my hands begin to tremble. Their hands on me suddenly feels terrifying. I don’t want them to touch me. I can’t handle another person touching me. I need to get out of here. I squeeze my eyes shut and scream. “Get off of me! Don’t touch me! Get off of me!”

  “Camryn, they’re the paramedics. They are here to help you. It’s okay. They aren’t going to hurt you. Let them help you,” Jamie murmurs next to me.

  Shaking my head back and forth, tears streaming like rivers of pain, “I don’t want to be touched. Not by anyone. I want to go home and take a shower. I need to get him off of me. I need to wash him away.”

  The paramedics step back while Jamie comes closer to me. With his finger under my chin he tilts my head up to look at him. “I know you want to go home, but we need to get you to the hospital. Please, let them look at your injuries, baby.” His voice is filled with so much emotion, my heart shatters into a million pieces. He is trying to be strong for me. Panic is rioting within him, but he is trying his best not to show it. As I look into his eyes, I see it. The despair, the hurt, the anger.

  Sheer panic is in his eyes. I see Jamie breaking right in front of me. I know I will never recover from this, and by the look on his face, I don't think he will either.

  As if holding all his raw emotions in check, he looks at the paramedics, “Can I go with her? In the ambulance?”

  The medic says, “Yes, but we need to stabilize her first. Once we do, we will load her up and head to Mt. Sinai Medical Center.”

  Jamie brings his attention back to me. “Did you hear that? They’re going to let me come with you, okay? Let them do what they need to now, so we can get you to the hospital. I won’t leave your side, baby. I promise.”

  I nod my head, telling them they can touch me. I don’t say anything, while they press a gauze pad to my forehead. I flinch when they apply pressure to my head. One after another, I see them remove the bloodied gauze, replacing it with a fresh one. I feel them lift me onto the stretcher. When they fasten the straps over my body, I wince from the pain. A sense of desperation almost overtakes me as I feel trapped, like I did in that room. I focus on Jamie, and the fact that he can see me and hear me, his breaths are my anchor in this maelstrom, enough to get me through the torrent of emotions that are threatening to overtake me. After what feels like forever I am rushed out the back door to a waiting ambulance.

  JAMIE

  “EVERYTHING IS GOING to be okay, Camryn,” I keep repeating to her, while I hold her hand tightly. I can’t believe this is happening. This is something you see on TV or the news or something. I can’t wrap my head around what’s happening. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism to help me make sense of . . . of how someone could do this to my Camryn. The paramedic is working on her head wound, trying to control the bleeding. She lets out a painful cry. Her eyes are closed, her emotions in check, her face strained with pain. Camryn isn’t fighting the paramedic anymore as she allows him to tend to her head wound.

  I feel like I’m going to vomit. I can’t control the shaking in my hands. I don’t want Camryn to see me like this. I need to hold it together for her. Stay strong for her. The pain in my chest won’t go away. I feel like I am suffocating. The sound of the siren echoes through the ambulance. When we arrive at the hospital, Camryn is immediately ushered into the back, leaving me standing here behind the doors that read ‘PERSONNEL ONLY, DO NOT ENTER’. I hear Camryn crying out my name from the other side. Seeing the nurses’ station, I run over to it. “Excuse me, why can’t I go back there with my girlfriend. Why do I have to stay here?”

  The nurse advises me it’s a restricted area and she will be taken care of. Someone will be out to talk to me once she has been evaluated, pointing for me to have a seat. I slam my hands on the counter, and I yell, “This is bullshit!”

  Christian hasn’t arrived yet, so I pace the waiting room by myself. I fight the urge to vomit as bile keeps working its way up my throat. I clench my fists as I continue to wait for Christian and his parents.

  He also called Karsen, as well, to see if she was working tonight and, thankfully, she is. She told Christian that she would be in the ER waiting for our arrival, which she was. Karsen walks through the doors they just took Camryn through and guides me to a nearby waiting room for families.

  When the door closes, she pulls me in for a hug. When she releases me she asks, “How are you holding up?”

  “I’m a fucking mess. It’s my fault this happened. I should have never left her on the dance floor.”

  Turning to look at Karsen’s face, all I see is shock. She walks over to me, placing her hand on my arm. “Jamie, this is not your fault. Do not blame yourself. Do not let Camryn hear you say that. She needs you to be strong. You need to be her rock. She cannot see you beating yourself up over this.”

  Not knowing what to say, I just nod my head.

  Karsen takes my hand in hers and squeezes it. “Stay here. I need to get back there with Camryn. I promised her I would stay with her for the exams. I’ll keep you posted on her condition as soon as I hear something, okay?” I nod my head to acknowledge that I heard what she said. I can’t speak past the huge knot in my throat.

  A few minutes pass and the door opens again. Karsen walks in with scrubs in her hands. “Here, go get washed up and changed. Camryn doesn’t need to see you with her blood on you.”

  Nodding my head, she points to the bathroom on the other side of the waiting room.

  I take the bag from her and walk over to the bathroom. Once I exit the bathroom, I toss my costume in the trashcan. I never want to see that thing again. It will only remind me of this sordid night.

  It seems like I have been waiting here forever. Checking my watch, it’s only been fifteen minutes. I pinch the bridge of my nose trying to relieve some of the pressure. My head is pounding. My heart is racing. I am going to lose my shit if I don’t hear something soon. I punch the vending machine. “What the fuck!” Christian comes up behind me wrapping his arms around me to settle me down. I didn’t even hear him walk into the waiting room.

  “Dude, don’t do this. Camryn doesn’t need you getting arrested tonight. Calm down. She’s a fighter. She’ll get through this. We’ll be here to make sure she does. Do you hear me?” Christian says behind me. Nodding my head, he releases his hold on me, knowing I won’t lash out again.

  Christian guides me toward the row of chairs and demands me to sit.

  I sit in the chair, and lean my elbows on my knees. I look toward Christian who is now pacing the room. “I am going to kill the motherfucker who did this to her. I will kill him with my bare hands and not feel one ounce of remorse.”

  Christian turns to me, “I know you will, that’s the part that scares me. You can’t do shit, Jamie. You need to let the detectives do their job.”

  “How can you be so calm about this, man? Your sister was attacked tonight. Raped at our best friend’s club for fuck’s sake!” I say through gritted teeth.

  Christian walks over to stand in front of me. He squats down so that we are at eye level. “Let me tell you one thing. I am not fucking calm right now!” he practically screams at me. I flinch at the anger in his tone.

  “I am hanging on by a thread to keep my shi
t together. You and I show our feelings differently, Jamie. We always have. You show your emotions. I, on the other hand, never do. I am just as pissed about this as you. But we can’t do shit about it. The detectives will talk to Camryn when they get here. The only thing we can do is make sure this doesn’t destroy her. Do you hear me? We can’t let this destroy her.”

  Not knowing what to say, I sigh and put my face in my hands and cry for the first time since I was a child. I cry for what Camryn is going through, for what she is feeling, for what that bastard robbed her of. I cry knowing that this may destroy my girl. I cry for not being there to protect her. I promised her that I was her knight in shining armor. I failed her. I didn’t protect her. What the hell kind of boyfriend am I?

  I sure as hell blame myself. Why did she not come to the table like she told Lindsey she was? Why did she go to the bathroom by herself? We had this discussion over and over. It was a rule that she always followed. Ever since we were younger we always made sure the girls went to the bathroom with a partner. I made sure to tell Camryn that time and time again when she was away at Stanford. Never go to the bathroom or walk at night by yourself. There are creeps out there just waiting to prey on girls. When I knew she was going to parties when she was in college, I would ask her to text me to let me know she got home safely, no matter what time it was.

  I should have been there. This should have never happened. How could I have been in the same fucking place as her, and not know what was happening? How the hell did she end up in that room? Lincoln said it should have been locked. There are so many questions running through my mind. But most importantly, I need to know that my girl is going to get through this. I know I need to be strong for her. I need to be there to get her through this. I love her. I have loved her for years. I need to see my girl, to make sure she knows I love her. I’m not going to let this destroy her. I can’t. I won’t.

  “Here,” I say, handing Christian the pair of scrubs.

  “Karsen left these for you. Figured you’d want to get changed too.” Christian grabs the scrubs and heads in to change, discarding his costume as well when he exits.

  A hand is placed on my shoulder. Looking up, it’s Camryn’s father, Mark. I can see in his eyes that he’s on the verge of breaking but knowing what I know about his personality, he’d never let anyone see that even if it did happen.

  With an emotionally choked voice, he says, “Come here, son. She’ll get through this,” before pulling me in for a hug. Looking over at Christian, he is holding his mom while she cries against his chest. I can’t see her face, all I can see is her body shaking with sobs. Christian rubs his hand up and down her back, trying his best to console her as he repeats, “It’s gonna be alright. She’ll get through this, you know she will.” He must have repeated that same sentence ten times before she pulls back to look her son in the eyes.

  Shaking her head, she says, “How can you say that, Christian? We have no idea what she endured. What sort of trauma she suffered. Have you seen her? Have the doctors come out to talk to you yet?”

  Christian pulls her back against him. “I saw her at the club before the paramedics got her in the ambulance.” Shaking his head as if he is trying to rid his mind of the vision of Camryn, he continues, “No one has come to let us know any updates since we got here. When the medic told me what hospital they were bringing her to, I called Karsen to see if she was working. I filled her in on what happened and she promised she would be waiting for her when she arrived. Karsen put Jamie in here. She assured us that she would let us know something as soon as she knew anything.”

  Christian didn’t tell his mom how bad the situation was at the club. She didn’t need the visual of what we saw. Camryn looked broken as I cradled her bloody, limp body in my arms while she cried hysterically. The pain and guilt will haunt me for the rest of my life.

  I will never forget the look on Camryn’s face as they put her on the stretcher. They began to work on her immediately, obstructing my view of her. I could only hear her cries, which tore my heart into a million pieces. There was nothing I could do to console her. I stood back while they tried to control the bleeding from the cut on her head and neck. Shaking myself from those memories, I rake my hands over my face in frustration.

  My nostrils flare with fury. I’m numb with increasing rage from the onslaught of visions of a broken Camryn that continuously play like a movie reel before my eyes. Adrenaline rushes through my body. I clench my fists to avoid hitting something. Seeing Camryn the way she is, seeing what that bastard did to her. He not only robbed her, but he robbed me.

  I’m so furious I can hardly speak. What the fuck is taking so long? We should have heard something by now. It’s taking everything in me not to go search for Camryn. She needs me. I need to be with her.

  A short while later, the door to the waiting room opens and a petite brunette with her hair pulled back into a ponytail walks in wearing scrubs. I’m not sure if she is a doctor or a nurse on duty. She shuts the door behind her, approaching us slowly. “Are you Camryn Townsend’s family?” she asks.

  Gwen quickly responds, “Yes, she’s my daughter. Can you tell me what’s happening? Where is she?”

  The woman guides her over to the chairs. “Ma’am, please have a seat. My name is Dr. Megan Crosby, I’m the attending physician on duty tonight. I have some news.”

  Christian and I sit next to his parents. Mark has his wife’s hand in his and Christian places his hand on her knee. The doctor pulls a chair up and sits in front of us. She takes Gwen’s other hand in hers, gently squeezing it.

  “Your daughter is a fighter. She put up quite a fight while I was trying to examine her, not wanting anyone to touch her. Karsen was able to calm her down. She is back there with her, she hasn’t left her side since she arrived.”

  Gwen wipes her face with a tissue as her tears roll down her cheeks. Mark pulls his wife against his side, placing his arm around her shoulder.

  “I want to warn you, so you’re not alarmed when you see her. Your reaction could frighten her. She has been given medication for the pain, but her face is quite bruised from the trauma she suffered. Her right eye is black and completely swollen shut.”

  “Oh my God, Mark. How could this happen to our baby girl?” she sobs.

  Dr. Crosby places a consoling hand on her knee to comfort her as she continues to update us on Camryn’s condition. Raising her brows at Mark, the doctor asks if she should continue. Mark doesn’t respond verbally, but simply nods his head.

  Again, I feel bile working its way up my throat. Trying to focus on something to avoid vomiting, I lower my head into my hands taking deep breaths in and blowing them back out. When I look back up at the doctor, she has a pained look etched on her face. I can sense the information she is about to deliver to us is going to gut me to the core.

  “Your daughter was sexually assaulted tonight. The forensic nurse is in with her now examining her and gathering any evidence she can.”

  A gasp escapes Gwen. Her hand covers her mouth to try and subdue her sob. Her body trembles as she stares wordlessly between her son and me. I thought Christian told her what happened on the phone, evidently he didn’t tell her everything. She jumps up from her seat, pointing her finger at us. “Why didn’t you tell us she was raped?”

  Christian stands by his mother “Mom, please don’t do this here. Can we talk about this later?”

  Shaking her head no, she says, “Why didn’t you tell me when you called?”

  Looking down at her, his eyes are saying so many things without even speaking. Finally finding the words, he says quietly, “How could I tell you that over the phone? The two of you needed to get here in one piece. I couldn’t risk losing my parents tonight because they were too distraught to drive.” Putting his head down, he walks back over to sit next to me, shaking his head back and forth, “I’m sorry.”

  Mark stands, pulling his wife into his arms. Holding her close, he whispers in her ear, “Don’t be angry at our son. He
did what he thought was best to get us here.” Taking his wife’s hand he motions for her to sit again.

  Dr. Crosby looks over all of us. “Do you want me to continue? I know this is a lot to process, I wish I had better news.”

  Mark motions for her to continue. “She’s banged up pretty bad. The plastic surgeon was called in to evaluate her. He determined stitches weren’t required for all of the cuts, however, Camryn sustained a deep laceration on her head which did require several stitches.”

  “Like I said, Karsen is there with your daughter. She is walking her through everything step by step to help keep Camryn calm. Once the nurse is through, I will give her something to calm her down. She is also complaining of a headache from the trauma to her head, so she will be taken down for a CAT scan of the brain to make sure there isn’t any swelling. The police have also arrived. They will want to speak with her when she gets back from her scan.”

  “Oh, Mark,” Gwen cries out as she leans into her husband’s chest, continuing to cry. He rubs his hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her.

  “I will come out and get you when she is back from her scan. Camryn will be placed into a private room until the results of her diagnostic testing comes back.” Dr. Crosby stands from her chair returning it to the original spot where she found it.

  When I hear the door close from the doctor exiting the room, I stand from my chair and walk towards the window. While staring out the window, the night sky is still dark. Not knowing how long I’ve been standing there, I feel a set of arms wrap around my waist. Looking down, Gwen has her head against my back. She whispers, “Our girl is going to need us, Jamie. More now then she ever has before.”

  I turn around in Gwen’s embrace. I run my hands up and down her arms, I don’t speak right away. There is a knot in my throat the size of a softball. My mouth is dry and I feel like if I open my mouth to speak, I am going to lose it right here in this waiting room. When I say lose it, I mean either lose the contents of my stomach here on the floor, or mentally break down. Trying to control my emotions, especially in front of Camryn’s mom, two words leave my lips. “I know.”