Intangible

by DelSheree Gladden

  “You didn’t?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “No. I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time, but you never gave me the time of day. I tried not to take it personally, because you were like that with everyone,” he says with a laugh, “but my feelings for you had nothing to do with any of this.”

  “But you know about Aerlings and Caretakers and Sentinels,” I argue.

  Hayden falls back against the pillows. He nods slowly. “Yeah, unfortunately, I do.”

  “Is that why you gave me the book?”

  Shaking his head, Hayden says, “No. I was still pretty in the dark at that point. I was just trying to be helpful. When I realized that project was made up, that’s when I started to worry that you were lying to me about what was really going on.” Hayden presses his hands to his head. “You have no idea how much I wanted to be wrong… no idea.”

  “But you weren’t,” I say.

  “No.”

  My stiff posture relaxes and I move to sit next to him. “That’s why you helped me today even though what I was asking you to do sounded insane.”

  Gently, Hayden takes my hand in his. “I would have helped you regardless, but yes, I understood more than what you were willing to tell me. I didn’t realize until you said his name that we were going after Mason, but I had already figured out that it had something to do with the Aerling stuff. I just didn’t realize Mason was the Aerling.”

  “You believed the military story?”

  Hayden shrugs. “Maybe I just wanted to believe it.”

  I look down at our hands intertwined. I know instinctively that something has changed between us. Hayden has held my hand before. This feels different. It isn’t an attempt to pull me over to his side like usual. His touch is more comforting than seductive. Somehow, I’ve pulled him over to my side.

  I’m not foolish enough to think what happened tonight has erased Hayden’s romantic feelings for me. That won’t change for a while, I suspect. As we sit next to each other, I know his days of hounding me are over. He’s by my side as a friend, and I know I can count on him for anything. My eyes start to close as exhaustion sweeps over me. Before I can drift off, though, I realize Hayden never answered my original question.

  “Hayden,” I say softly.

  He startles back awake and rubs his eyes as he turns to look at me. “Huh?”

  “Sorry. I’ll let you go back to sleep in a minute. I just had to ask you one more question.”

  “Oh,” he says. It’s clear from his expression that he knows what it will be, but he waits for me to ask.

  “How do you know about all of this?”

  Even though I trust Hayden, part of me is pleading that his answer won’t be that he’s a rogue Sentinel. I just don’t think I can handle that kind of revelation. I watch as Hayden looks away. His expression darkens and fear clutches at me. Please don’t say it. Please don’t say it.

  “I know about Aerlings, and all the rest, because I’m just like you, Olivia.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Hayden sighs. “I’m an Escort… or, I was meant to be, anyway.”

  I sit up and stare down at him. “What?”

  He nods, but still doesn’t seem interested in looking at me. “It was an accident that I found out in the first place.”

  I feel my body sink into the bed as a million thoughts begin running through my mind. I barely hear Hayden when he starts talking again.

  “I was ten. My family and I were visiting my grandparents in St. Louis. I was bored sitting around their house, so my grandpa offered to take me to a nearby skate park for a while.”

  “You skateboard?” I ask.

  Hayden shakes his head and laughs. “Yeah, I do. Is that really what you’re most curious about?”

  Feeling silly, I blush and close my mouth. “Sorry, go on.”

  “I was just teasing,” Hayden says. “I can tell you about my skateboarding later.”

  I’m actually interested to hear about it, so I nod, but keep my questions to myself for now.

  “Anyway,” Hayden says, “I was trying to decide which ramp I wanted to go down when this kid bumped into me. I turned around to apologize for blocking the way. When I spoke to him, he freaked out. I thought he was just crazy at first, asking me how I could see him and stuff like that.

  “It took some convincing for him to make me believe I was the only person outside of his Caretaker family who could see him. His Caretaker siblings found us talking and immediately realized what I was. Their whole family ended up at my grandparents’ house that night trying to explain everything and convince them of how important it was that Levi and I stay close to each other.”

  “Did they believe them?” I ask. It took years for me to convince my dad that Mason was real, but I suppose the Caretakers are probably better at it than a little kid was.

  Hayden nods. “Eventually they did, but it didn’t matter.”

  I fear I already know the answer, but I have to ask regardless. “What happened?”

  “Two days later, the Sentinels found Levi.” Hayden takes a deep breath. “They went into hiding and pretty much forgot about me. What use was I to them anymore?”

  “Hayden, I’m so sorry.”

  The corner of his mouth twitches. “It almost killed me when he died.”

  “Was it like what happened to me tonight?” I ask. Hayden nods. I hate remembering the pain and cold and helplessness. Thinking about what I almost lost tonight is too painful to ponder for long. I can’t imagine a ten year old going through the same thing.

  “I wasn’t the same for a long time after that,” Hayden says. “I didn’t even know Levi very well at all, but I felt his absence. My parents worried about me more than I probably realized. I think they were close to either medicating me or putting me in therapy before I finally snapped out of it.”

  It’s so hard to picture Hayden as sad and depressed. Ever since I’ve known him, he’s always been outgoing and one of the happiest people I knew. I never interacted with him much, because I never paid attention to anyone but Mason, but I always liked it when Hayden was nearby.

  “What finally helped you?” I ask.

  Hayden smiles and looks down at me. He seems hesitant to say anything, but I keep waiting. Eventually, he says, “It was actually… meeting you.”

  Surprised, I cock my head to one side. “Huh?”

  “Junior high,” Hayden clarifies. “We moved to town that summer. My parents thought a change of scenery would help me, and I guess it did.”

  “But, we weren’t even friends, back then.”

  “I know. We didn’t have to be.” Hayden looks down, suddenly seeming self-conscious. “It was enough just to be near you. I didn’t even know why I felt like that. Maybe it’s because we’re both Escorts. I don’t know. I just knew that you made me feel better, like the piece of myself I lost when Levi died was whole again.”

  I sit back against the headboard and shake my head. “I had no idea.”

  “I know,” Hayden says. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in. “Look, Olivia, there’s still a lot about all of this I don’t understand, but I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes to help you get Mason home safely.”

  “Why?” I can’t help asking. “Helping him go home might kill me.”

  “Because,” Hayden says, “I understand what letting him die would do to you.”

  Chapter 25

  The Story

  (Mason)

  Waking up with Molly’s arm draped across my face is something I’ve gotten used to. Waking up next to Olivia is something I’d definitely like to make a daily occurrence. Gently, I push Molly off me and turn to face a still sleeping Olivia. I cannot describe the emotions being this close to her again inspires in me. I want nothing more than to freeze this moment in time and stay in it always.

  I can’t stop myself from sliding my hand along her cheek. The feel of her warm skin finally coming into contact with mine again wakes up every
nerve in my body. The hum of electric desire I feel for her is overpowering. I press my lips to her forehead and breathe in the scent of her hair.

  “Mason?” Olivia whispers tiredly.

  “I’m here, Ollie. I’m right here,” I say as I kiss her again.

  Her eyes blink open slowly. Immediately, I feel bad for waking her. She looks completely exhausted still. The dark circles under her eyes make me ache for her. I don’t want to think about last night. Most of it, I can barely remember anyway, but I know Olivia risked her life to save me. Knowing she could have died last night nearly breaks me. I pull her against my chest tightly.

  It is a long time before I feel steady enough to loosen my grip on Olivia. When I do, she smiles at me. “How are you feeling?” The concern in her eyes begs to be reassured.

  “I’m fine, good as new.” I move my arm around a bit to prove it, but she’s not convinced.

  Sitting up halfway, Olivia pushes me onto my back so she can get a better look at my arm and abdomen. She pushes away the ruined sleeve of my shirt and pushes the hem up to expose a massive scar. She carefully prods my skin. There is a scar in place of the gaping wound on my arm as well, but no sign of bruising or infection. There is a sense of weakness I can feel even without attempting to use my arm. I’m sure that will go away eventually. I’m really not that concerned about it right now. Olivia is my sole focus.

  “I’m so sorry for putting you through all of that last night.” The emotion in my voice makes it quaver, but I don’t let it stop me. “I never wanted to put you in danger. I should have run sooner instead of getting myself hurt and almost bleeding to death. I should have been able to save myself and keep you safe.”

  Olivia shakes her head slowly. She presses her hands to my face and kisses me lightly on the lips. Not dragging her down for another one is only possible because of the heavy weight already pressing down on me.

  “Mason, I was already on my way long before the Sentinels attacked you.” She kisses me again, this time more slowly. “Besides, nothing would have stopped me from coming. Even if everything had gone to plan, I still would have come to get you. I always will.”

  Suddenly, my strength abandons me. The thought of going through this again is too much. Even though my hands are wrapped around Olivia’s warm body, my fingertips feel cold. My chest starts heaving, and I can’t seem to stop it. The cold turns to tingling numbness as panic claws its way through me.

  “Mason?” Olivia asks. “What’s happening? What’s wrong?”

  I try to speak, but nothing comes out the first few tries. I swallow hard and gulp in enough air to form coherent words. “I can’t do this again.”

  “Do what?” she begs.

  I shake my head. “I can’t put you in danger like that. I won’t leave you only to have you come running into a fight that could get you killed!” My breathing escalates even further as I remember vague flashes of a Sentinel grabbing Olivia’s shoulder, of her running from him in terror.

  “Mason,” Olivia says softly as she lies back down next to me. Her body presses in as close as she can manage. “You don’t have to leave me. We aren’t separating again. It’s already all worked out.”

  “What?” Confusion swirls around me. I want to believe her, but I can’t. How could it ever work? “The Sentinels, they’ll find me. I can’t stay with you, Olivia. That’s the first thing they’ll expect.”

  Olivia nods slowly. “It will be, but it won’t do them any good.”

  “What?” I ask, more confused than ever.

  I expect an answer right away, but Olivia surprises me by kissing my lips softly. I almost push her back… almost. Confusion and anxiety abandon me as her lips brush against mine again. Heat spreads through my lips to my face as I forget what we were talking about and pull her in closer. Olivia’s hands slide back to my hair and she kisses me fiercely. I am left speechless when she pulls away with a grin.

  “Are you ready to listen now?” she asks breathlessly.

  All I can do is nod.

  “Good,” she says with a smile. “Last night, we came up with a plan. One I think you’re going to like, because it means we get to stay together.”

  Finding my voice again, I say, “I do like that idea, but …”

  Olivia shakes her head and cuts me off. “Using the theater last night gave me an idea. Hayden and I talked it over with my dad and we all agree it’s the best way to go.”

  At the mention of Hayden, a well of conflicted feelings arise. I hate that he was the one Olivia had to ask for help. Knowing that all the while I’ve been gone he’s been there by her side, no doubt doing everything he could to win her over, is so incredibly frustrating. It kills me to think about, but at the same time, I don’t even know how to begin thanking him for everything he did last night. He protected Molly when I couldn’t. He got Olivia to me just in time to save my life. How can I dislike and respect someone so much at the same time?

  “Mason?” Olivia asks, “Are you listening?”

  “Hmm? Sorry,” I say with a sigh.

  As if she knows my thoughts, Olivia offers me a half smile. “I’ll explain about Hayden in a minute. First, let me tell you our plan, okay?”

  “Fine,” I say, sounding like a cranky child.

  Olivia tries to hide her smile, but she fails rather miserably. “Anyway, what we’re going to do is use the story I originally told Hayden about who you were.”

  “Which was?”

  “That your family is in the military and you travel around a lot,” Olivia says. “Dad’s getting everything set up with the school so you can start classes as soon as you feel up to it.”

  “What?” I ask. “Don’t you need a birth certificate and documentation?”

  Olivia nods. “Robin’s parents are taking care of the paperwork. I guess the Caretakers are pretty good at that sort of thing since they basically have to put Caretakers who are discovered into some kind of Witness Protection type of program. They promised to have everything you needed ready by tonight. They just have to get a few pictures of you when we get home.”

  I shake my head again. “I’m sorry, but I don’t get it. How am I supposed to go to school when no one can see me?”

  Gnawing on her bottom lip, Olivia hesitates for a moment. “You’re going to have to let people see you. You’re going to walk around school like a regular human.” She bites her lip harder. “Do you think you can do that?”

  Can I? The idea terrifies me. How can I let all those people see me like that? I’m not meant to be seen. My instincts are screaming at me to refuse and stay hidden. It’s all I’ve ever known. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but the events of last night hold them off.

  We never would have made it if I hadn’t revealed myself at the theater. No one even looked twice at me. I was more invisible then than if I had stayed hidden and ended up bumping into something or someone and causing a scene.

  Olivia must see the acceptance in my eyes, because she continues. “Dad will make sure we have the same schedule so we’re together all day. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

  I know she will. I know she would give anything in order to protect me. That’s the problem. I don’t want her to put herself at risk to save me, but a nudge from Molly as she turns in her sleep reminds me that this isn’t just about me.

  “You have to remember,” Olivia says, “the Sentinels don’t know exactly what you look like. None of them ever got a good look at you last night, but even if they did, they don’t know you can make yourself visible. For all they know, you were just another friend who came to help. I’m sure they’ll be suspicious about you showing up at my house, but there won’t be any way for them to know for sure if you are who they’re looking for.”

  “Unless they get close enough to feel me,” I say. “The scarred Sentinel knows me all too well.”

  “Is he the one who stabbed you last night?” Olivia asks.

  I nod. “He’s known me for a lot longer, though,” I say. The memory of h
is face haunts me. Just thinking about him turns my blood to ice.

  Worried, Olivia leans forward and presses her hand to my heart. I know she can feel it racing beneath her fingers. “Mason, what is it?” she begs.

  “He’s the one… he killed my family,” I say.

  Olivia’s eyes widen. “Oh, Mason, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

  “I didn’t either, until I saw him at the Parkers’ house.” I shake my head violently, trying to knock loose his image. “I froze when I saw him. He took Molly from me because I was so in shock I couldn’t stop him. I tried to remember what I did the first time to get away from him, but I couldn’t. All I could do was charge him. I got Molly, but he left his mark.”

  The cool of Olivia’s fingers tracing the scar on my biceps makes me shiver. It also makes me think. I look up at Olivia and say, “I think whatever I did when I was five is what gave him the scars. I can’t remember what happened, but he didn’t have the scars when he attacked my family. I could tell, too, that coming after me was more than just another assignment. For him, it’s personal.”

  “Well,” Olivia says, “now it’s personal to you, too.”

  I nod. It’s very personal.

  “I know this plan is still really dangerous,” Olivia says, “but I honestly think it’s less risky than sending you off to who knows where again with me having no way to warn you about what’s coming.”

  “You’re right,” I finally admit. Molly’s arm slaps into me as she flops over. I chuckle and shove her away again. She is a nightmare to sleep with, but neither one of us can stand to sleep alone. It’s strange to think I didn’t even know about her before being dropped off at her house like a lost dog. She is part of me now, and I will do whatever it takes to protect her.

  “What about Molly?” I ask.

  Olivia shrugs. “That we hadn’t decided. After what you said and what she did at the theater, the Sentinels know we have another Aerling with us.”