All I Need

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  She turns her head and winks at me then moves out of my way so I can get back behind Stormy.

  Brett clears his throat and damn if I hadn’t forgotten he was even with us. “You two need some privacy?”

  Yes.

  Ellie blushes.

  “Nah, man. Let’s get this baby out of Stormy before she goes into distress.”

  “Good plan.”

  Brett readies Stormy so she’s stable in the stall, which will help so none of us are injured in the birthing process. We get to work with pulling the calf’s legs out as much as we can before I wrap a chain around the legs. For the next several minutes we work together to pull the calf out safely.

  When I feel she’s getting closer, I motion Ellie closer.

  I have her sit between my legs, which unfortunately I can’t even register how amazing it feels to have her there because we’re trying to keep a calf alive.

  I reach around her and grip the chain tightly then motion for her to hold the other side. A lot of the time Brett would be doing this on his own but since I was here checking her anyway, it’s safer for me to handle it. In other times, Brett would be helping me but he’s busy keeping Stormy relaxed as well as the others in their stalls as they can sense there’s something wrong here.

  “Hold tight, okay? We don’t want her or her calf to go into distress and we need to keep her moving through this process quickly.”

  Ellie’s head bobs up and down rapidly.

  Together we pull the last little bit as I can feel Stormy’s body do what comes natural and right into Ellie’s waiting arms comes a wet, goopy baby girl calf.

  Ellie’s body relaxes against mine, my legs still spread around her as she cradles the calf in her arms. Brett comes over to inspect her and to help get her cleaned up, making sure Stormy is ready to accept her new baby.

  “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen,” Ellie whispers, her voice full of awe. “It was life,” she says, face upturned to mine and I can’t resist it a single second longer.

  I lean down, grazing my lips against hers and she responds exactly how I prayed she would. With just as much desire that’s been flowing through my veins since the day I first saw her.

  The kiss isn’t passionate or sexy. There’re no tongues involved. But, somehow, it’s so much more.

  She reaches around with her not-gloved hand and places her small hand on my cheek before leaning back. Her eyes flutter open and I can feel her breath come out rapidly. I don’t know if it’s a result of the adrenaline that was just coursing through her body because of Stormy or the kiss, but I’m telling myself it was the simple kiss that was anything but.

  “I told you it would be tough,” I tell her, knowing that when I said that earlier she understood I meant not giving in to our desires.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. That was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

  She’s gonna be the death of me.

  And what a way to go.

  “You guys ready to leave Stormy alone with her new baby?”

  “Aren’t you gonna name her?” Ellie asks, slowly standing up.

  I stand also and we begin cleaning up, getting rid of the gloves and putting away the tools I used earlier.

  “I think you need to do the honors,” Brett says to Ellie.

  “Pardon?”

  “Want to give our new baby girl a name?”

  Ellie’s face lights up like he just offered her a million dollars.

  “Hell yeah!”

  I chuckle and we watch her, waiting for her to tell us the name.

  “Oh, like right now? No. I need to think. This is a big deal. The name she’ll be stuck with her entire life.”

  She’s something else. Who thinks they need to spend time worrying over the name of a calf.

  Ellie.

  Only Ellie.

  “That was incredible, as usual, Courtney,” I say, dropping my napkin to the table and leaning back in my seat. I have to bite back a moan because of how full my stomach is.

  “I take it you’re a fan of roast, huh?” Ellie looks at my plate and back at me with her eyebrows raised.

  “It’s got nothing on lasagna.” I wink at her and she smiles, taking a sip of her lemon water.

  The conversation throughout dinner flowed as if the four of us have been friends for years. Even though Brett and Courtney are about eight years younger than me, we’ve become pretty close. Brett’s parents used to run the farm he and Courtney live on now but a few years ago they were in a tragic accident. His mom died on the scene of the horrific car crash after a drunk driver crossed the center line, his dad passed away two days later. Brett doesn’t have any siblings but he’s never once acted like it was a burden to take over. He knew I was his dad’s vet and was honest that he needed a little help. Not that he’d never worked the cattle with him, but he didn’t want to fail.

  He and Courtney work their asses off to keep the farmstead the way his parents did, to keep their legacy alive, and they do a damn good job at it.

  “Walker told me you make a mean lasagna. I’m gonna be bold—or rude—but come out and say I want it for next time.”

  “Brett,” Courtney admonishes but Ellie doesn’t seem fazed by it.

  “You got it,” Ellie agrees and it makes me sit up a little higher. She’s committing to spending more time with my friends and I can’t stop it from making me more than a little hopeful.

  “So how do you like living with Miss Polly?” Courtney asks her.

  “She’s wonderful. Every day she makes me laugh but it’s more than that, I’ve never felt so welcome as I do here. I’m so grateful that Walker knew to bring me to her place,” she says. Under the table I reach over and rest my hand on her leg. Her fingers slide over mine, threading through them so her palm is resting on the back of my hand. It feels more intimate than our kiss earlier. I don’t know what she’s thinking but I know that I’m never letting her go. It isn’t lost on me that she said she feels welcome here, not in Miss Polly’s home and I can only hope she means with me as well. How I went from perfectly content living my life the same way I have for the past fifteen years to looking forward to a new kind of future is beyond me but I can’t help but hope she’s right there with me.

  “Camilla!” she shouts out of nowhere, her hand not leaving mine as she turns to face me.

  “Sorry, what?”

  “Camilla, for the baby calf. She’s a warrior. She survived something that threatened to kill her.”

  “It’s a beautiful name and perfect for her. I love it,” Courtney says.

  Ellie smiles at Courtney and I squeeze her hand in mine. This woman—every day she surprises me.

  “Never did I imagine I’d be naming a baby cow,” she giggles but I hear the small bit of sadness laced in her words. It’s sadness I want to dig deep into and understand better but also sadness I want gone.

  We continue to talk and laugh but when I see Ellie yawn, I announce it’s time for us to leave. The four of us help clean up the table and store leftovers before we make our way out to my pickup.

  “Don’t be a stranger, Ellie. Let’s get coffee sometime next week, okay?”

  “That sounds great. Walker was telling me there’s a great coffee shop in town.”

  “Dreamin’ Beans. And if you’re lucky, Christine’s husband will be there.” Brett and I groan. “Or her son-in-law Grady.”

  “Grady?”

  Courtney takes on a dreamy look when she says, “Yeah. Grady Ryan. He’s…”

  “Warriors’ Coach Ryan!” Ellie shouts excitedly.

  “Uh, yeah. He grew up here. Married his high school sweetheart last spring who just happens to be Christine’s daughter.”

  “I have no idea how I didn’t put the two together. I’m a big SMS fan.”

  “Yeah?” I ask her, my thumb grazing against her leg.

  “Uh huh. Proud ’05 Alum, right here.”

  My head spins at this little bit of information. “No way. We were there at
the same time, then.”

  She spins in her chair to face me. “You’re joking.”

  “Nope. I graduated in ’03 with my undergrad but did my vet school there as well.”

  Her smile is infectious and I hear Courtney whisper something to Brett. “That’s just…”

  “Small world, huh? I can’t believe I never saw you. If I had… let’s just say things would have been pretty different.” Wildly different. If I’d seen her on the college campus, I would have mowed people over to get to her.

  She shakes her head back and forth but I catch the shy smile before she turns back to Courtney.

  Courtney’s giddy when she reaches out a grabby hand. “Hand me your phone. I’m putting my number in your contacts. You’d better call me.”

  “No stalking Andy or Grady,” Brett growls.

  She waves him off and rolls her eyes. “Oh please. If I weren’t perfectly happily married, they sure as hell are. Have you ever seen them with their women? They don’t even notice anyone else.”

  “Whatever. Just don’t scare the poor guys.” Brett grins at his wife, obviously teasing her.

  She scoffs and I chuckle.

  “Next week,” Courtney says, pointing at Ellie after she hands her phone back to her.

  Ellie doesn’t even think when she says, “You got it.”

  “You did great today, Ellie. I wouldn’t have known it was your first time,” Brett tells her and I agree with him.

  She barks out a laugh. “Right. Like I didn’t totally show off my newbie status when I gagged a little bit at the amount of brown liquid that expelled from Stormy with the force of a hurricane.”

  “Okay, so maybe that part,” he teases.

  “I’ll call you in the morning, check on Camilla and Stormy. Make sure everyone is doing okay.”

  “Sounds good. Thanks for coming out.”

  “Worth it for that pot roast.”

  Courtney beams and we climb into the pickup, waving goodbye one last time before we head down the long lane.

  “So, what’d you think?”

  “Amazing. Incredible. Life changing.”

  “Yup. Pretty much. It’s incredible what bodies are capable of, huh?”

  “It is. I’ve just never seen anything like that before.”

  All too soon we’re back at Miss Polly’s but I’m not ready to let her go yet.

  “I’m glad you came with me,” I tell her and can’t stop from reaching over to hold her hand. After our too short kiss and her not pulling away from me earlier when I placed a hand on her leg at Brett and Courtney’s, I know without a doubt it’ll never be enough.

  “I am too. Thank you, Walker. I don’t know how, but you always seem to know exactly what I need.”

  Her words hit me hard. Truth be told, being with Ellie, acting on her behalf, is just natural to me. I should tell her that although I can’t explain it, being with her is seamless. But right now, I want to tell her that she’s all I need.

  Instead, I show her, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck to pull her to me and touch my lips to hers. This time, I lick the seam of her lips and they separate almost immediately. She tastes of the coffee we had after dinner and the sweetness that is all Ellie.

  Before we can get carried away, I slowly back away, centimeter by centimeter. My body screams at me in protest, wanting nothing more than to continue making out in my pickup like a couple horny teenagers but Ellie deserves so much more than that.

  Her sigh turns into a wistful smile as her bright blue eyes shine up at me. “Good night, Walker.”

  “I don’t get to walk you to the door?”

  “I can make it on my own.”

  “You can also make it with me by your side.”

  She rolls her eyes, springs out of her seat and kisses me quickly on the cheek and then before I can protest any further, she’s out the door.

  I watch as she almost skips up the steps and waves at me over her shoulder before disappearing into Miss Polly’s house.

  I WAKE UP WITH A cheery smile on my face that I can’t seem to wipe off no matter how hard I try. Who knew this tiny town in Michigan would be what breathes life back into me. A place where I feel the most like myself than I have in my entire life.

  Rolling over, I hug my pillow and press the side of my face into it, my arm stretching out underneath. The sheets are cool against my heated skin. Heated from a long evening of dreams of Walker that had me sliding a hand between my thighs.

  I sigh, hardly believing how intense my physical reaction is to thoughts of Walker. Even now I have to rub my legs together to alleviate the ache already building inside just remembering how it felt to have his lips on mine in a chaste kiss or the way his hand molded to my leg as if it was always meant to be there.

  Last night.

  Wow.

  I helped bring a baby calf into the world.

  I mean, I didn’t really do anything but gag and squeal but still… I was there. I saw life happening and it was amazing. It’s not lost on me that it was a cow. A. Cow. Not a human life but it was real and I’ve never seen anything like that before. I didn’t have siblings or cousins and my parents—sucky as they were—didn’t really have any friends with kids. Which is a lot of the reason why they hated having me around to cramp their style.

  Throwing the covers off me, I grab some clothes and make my way to the bathroom. Pressing the little green app on my phone, I find the playlist I’m looking for. When the upbeat sound of Kelsea Ballerini’s voice filters through the remarkably good speaker of my phone, I turn up the volume and hop in the shower.

  I sing along to the happy lyrics, my hips shimmying back and forth while I shampoo my hair.

  I don’t remember the last time I felt this happy, this free.

  My good mood stays with me while I pour myself a cup of coffee and help Miss Polly make some breakfast for the two of us. Her smile tells me that she knows exactly where my happiness is stemming from but I don’t care.

  “I’ll see you later. If you need me to grab anything from the store on my way home, just let me know, okay?”

  Emotion clouds her features and I wonder if it’s because I called her house my home or if there‘s another reason for it.

  “I will. You have a good day,” she tells me and then I’m out the door, travel mug of coffee in hand. Walker had told me last night that I didn’t need to be in right at the beginning of the morning. I had briefly considered texting Courtney to see if she wanted to meet for coffee but I didn’t want to seem pushy or needy. She mentioned wanting to get together but I highly doubt she meant less than twelve hours later.

  Instead, I shoot off a text, hoping that we can get something planned. I know I need to open myself up to people. Let them in. Trust might not come easy for me to share but I’ve never really felt like myself before either.

  Me: Hey, Courtney! This is Ellie. Just wanted to text you so you have my number. If you still want to grab coffee or something, I’d love to get together soon. Hope Camilla is doing well.

  I stare at the screen, re-reading my words to make sure I’m not coming across as a crazy stalker lady and decide to just hit send. I toss my phone back into my purse and drive the short trip to Walker’s clinic. My phone pings along the way and I grab it after parking my car next to Walker’s pickup.

  Courtney: Hey girl! Thank you for the number. Yes. Yes. Yes. We are absolutely going to meet up. Let’s do dinner. I am so excited to hang out with ya. There’s a killer Mexican place in town. Do you like Mexican?

  Me: Who doesn’t?

  Courtney: Right? Ugh. So. Good. Okay—does Monday night work? Or this weekend. Oooh whenever.

  Courtney: OMG I’m sorry. I’m coming across as kind of needy.

  Courtney: I promise I’m not!

  Courtney: But I really like you and want to be friends.

  Courtney: NEVER MIND. I’M AN IDIOT.

  I decide it’s time to stop her from her rambling texting, though it makes me feel remarkably better a
bout my own excitement to get together soon.

  Me: Never mind, you don’t want to be friends?

  Courtney: NO! I do! I just am such a moron in text.

  Me: Oh hush. You are not. I was close to asking you to meet for coffee this morning already so no judgement here.

  Courtney: Phew. We can be crazy friend stalkers together! **high five emoji**

  Me: Right on! **hand okay emoji**

  Me: BTW I’m pretty sure that’s not an okay emoji but rather it’s like nipple pinching or something.

  Courtney: ** Did we just become best friends gif from Stepbrothers movie**

  Me: YUP!

  Courtney: Monday night. Brett will be our DD but we’re ditching Brett and we’re going out for margaritas and alllll the chips and salsa.

  Me: PERFECT! See you then.

  Courtney: Eeeeep! So. Excited. **series of big smile emojis**

  I get out of my car with a bright smile on my face. What a glorious morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and there’s a faint scent of recently cut grass in the air. With a skip in my step, I let myself in through the backdoor of the clinic.

  I stop to say hello to a couple of the vacationers before stopping in the break room to place my purse in one of the little cubbies that sits in the far corner.

  I top off my coffee from a pot that smells freshly brewed. I’m not but two steps out of the break room when I almost collide with Walker. He keeps walking toward me so I’m forced back into the room and I have to grip his side with my free hand to stop from falling backward.

  “Morning.” I can smell the mint from his toothpaste and the musky scent of his body wash. The combination makes my head spin and I lean my head back so I can get a better look at him.

  “Morning,” I reply, my voice barely above a whisper.

  “How was your evening?”

  How was my evening, he asks. Should I tell him I spent most of it with my hand between my legs as I dreamt it was him? Considering he’s my new boss, I would say not.

  “Good. Yours?”

  “I had pleasant dreams last night,” he says, a wicked gleam in his eye that makes me catch my breath.

  Oh. My.

  I want to tell him the same but I don’t dare. I’m not that brave.