White Stag

by Kara Barbieri

  “No,” he growled, his body shifting back to his regular form. “She is mine.” He pulled his sword from the roof of the dragon’s mouth and thrust the dead body aside.

  “Janneka,” he said, voice cracking as he used my real name. “Janneka, can you move?”

  The grip of the blue power was releasing me little by little. “I think so.”

  One of his arms went around my body, and he picked me up as easily as a mother would a babe. “Your arm,” I said, touching the oozing wound. “It’s—”

  “Never mind it,” he said. “Just never mind it.”

  Lydian stood by, grinning from ear to pointed ear. “It’s a pity,” he said, taking slow steps toward us. “I was mistaken to believe you’d last longer than this. Though I suppose it’s only a pity for you two. I am saddened—I could’ve had great use for you, dear nephew. But I guess fate likes to fool all of us.” He shook his head. “It would be a kindness to kill you both now. Don’t you think that would be kind of me?”

  Soren bared his teeth. “Go ahead and try.” But his breath was already sour with sickness, and his arm was green where the fang had punctured it.

  If we die, we die fighting. We die together. The blade Seppo had given me shook in my hand. Overhead, the stone dome surrounding us crackled like thunder. There had to be millions more layers of stone and ice lying above it.

  A sharp, eerie whistle echoed through the dome, growing louder as it bounced off the rocks. Cracks grew like searching fingers across a section of stone and a mass of boulders fell down to us below. I squeezed my eyes shut as they came crashing to the ground.

  When I opened my eyes again, blinking away the grit, a massive barrier of fallen rock blocked Lydian’s way. Through the cracks, his face was reddened with rage.

  “Seppo! You little bastard!” he screamed. “Where are you?”

  The dark-haired goblin was gone. “I don’t know, where are you?” His voice came from somewhere, laughing. Lydian answered with a snarl. Unlike most goblins, Seppo’s laugh wasn’t a cackle but came from deep in his belly. “I’d leave if I were you, my lord. You’re standing on the wrong side of the barrier. When those beautiful eggs begin to freeze—which they will shortly—the babies will come out early to devour as much as they can before they die. You really wouldn’t want your reign to end before it began, would you?”

  Lydian snarled one last time, and then he ran, feet pounding against the earth. Pushing his way out of the mix of stone, Seppo gave Soren and me a bow. “Seppo Satunpoika,” he said. “At your service.”

  13

  DEAREST WISH

  SOREN STRAIGHTENED UP, grasping his wounded arm in one hand. The power from the red lindworm was absorbing into his body much faster than the blue had into mine. Every so often he hissed in pain, but his eyes were clear and he moved without effort.

  “Satunpoika? Your mother is Satu?” Soren asked.

  Seppo nodded. “Yes, she is.”

  Satu. Satu. I’d heard the name before. I was always brought along to Soren’s council meetings as a cupbearer, though my real job was to listen and look for anything that would be of use to us. One night when one of the goblins had too much to drink, he complained about a rejected marriage proposal. Soren had laughed in his face and asked what he expected from Satu; she was the fiercest she-goblin in the realm, after all, and she wasn’t about to give that up for some brute seeking her claim.

  “You’re not a goblin,” Soren accused. “Not a human either.”

  “No,” Seppo said, “I’m both.”

  Both? He wasn’t like me. Somehow, I could tell that.

  He sighed. “You see, when a female and a male love each other very much—and one of them masters the self-control needed to not ravage their sexual partner—sometimes that results in something known as a baby.”

  “A halfling,” Soren snorted with contempt. “Figures Satu would have such an unconventional son.”

  Seppo raised his eyebrows. “My mother is an unconventional woman.”

  I looked closer at the halfling. He had sharp eyes and a long nose, ears tapered to tips, but his build was lean and lanky, more like a human’s, and when he smiled, he bore no fangs. In all my years in the Permafrost, I’d never seen anyone like him.

  “Unconventional” was the word Soren used, but I had a feeling he was trying to be polite to our savior. I had a feeling the word he wanted to use was “taboo.”

  Seppo’s sapphire eyes latched onto me. “Close your mouth. You’ll swallow a bug. Besides, I’d like to think this is nothing new to you at all, sweetheart. Considering…” He motioned between me and Soren with his little finger.

  A choked sound came from Soren, whose hand was still clutching his arm. The puncture wound went deep into his nerves and muscles. His face didn’t betray an ounce of pain, but his eyes grew wide at Seppo’s words. “Let’s talk about my choice of sexual partner another time, shall we?” he grunted. “I don’t know if it escaped your notice, but the damn lindworm bit me and the venom usually is fatal.”

  This time the choked noise came from me. Soren’s arm was a nasty shade of yellow and green. Lindworm venom wasn’t usually fatal; it was always fatal. It hit me with the force of a tempest, and the pain from the fight turned into a much deeper, less physical pain. It could’ve been me clutching my arm, dying slowly. It should’ve been me. The newfound feelings inside of me that had taken root during my time with the svartelves churned into a mixture of rage and pain. I could only stare at Soren, who turned paler by the second.

  He looked down at me. His eyes were soft. “I’ll be all right,” he said. “I have to be.”

  “I thought goblins couldn’t lie to themselves,” I said.

  “Well,” Seppo pointed out, “he’s lying to you. You’re not the one with a built-in lie detector, sweetheart. He has a couple hours at least, maybe a day or two. The power he absorbed should keep the venom from killing him for a while. We might be able to figure something out.”

  “We?” I asked. “Who is we?”

  Seppo blinked, taken aback by the hostility in my tone. “Well, you, Soren, and I. I had an idea. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to run after Lydian while he licks his wounds. I did just save your lives.”

  I bristled. Even if he was sincere, he abandoned Lydian the moment he judged him weak. Who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to us? “How do you know there’s a way to cure him? Lindworm venom is fatal; there’s no antivenom.”

  Seppo rolled his eyes. “If there was only one solution to every problem, the world would be insanely dull, don’t you think, sweetheart?”

  I gritted my teeth. “Do not call me sweetheart.”

  “I know you don’t like me, and I understand it,” Seppo continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “But I would ask you to trust me, if you can.”

  “How could you understand?” I took a step forward, the stiletto in my hand out and ready to strike. “You’ve worked for that—that monster—and suddenly decide to betray him? Is this a trick? Do you think we’re stupid enough to fall for it? I know the games he likes to play, or has he forgotten that? He’s half-mad, after all.”

  The rage and hatred inside me threatened to spill like poison from my mouth. Soren was dying. Lydian was up to something. This halfling was shoving himself into our business when he had no place there at all. The feelings of security and peace that had calmed me like a drug when I kissed Soren in the cavern had disappeared without a trace. I’d lost it. I’d lost what I loved. Again.

  Soren’s hand brushed against my shoulder, rubbing my arms in a soothing circular motion. “Calm down, Janneke.”

  I turned on Soren. “Calm down? How in Hel can I do that? You’re going to die! You’re going to die and leave me here, and we both know what happens if you die! We both know!”

  I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t. I would never be Lydian’s again. I would never feel that man’s touch on my skin. The fear built up in me, and I sucked in my breaths quicker and quicker until I was hyperven
tilating. I stumbled forward, and Soren caught me in his arms.

  “I’ll never let him touch you,” he whispered.

  “And I had just decided I wanted to live too.”

  “And you will.” His breath tickled my ear.

  Soren didn’t let me go as he addressed Seppo. “Satu is still alive, isn’t she? Why isn’t she on the Hunt? Why were you with Lydian and not her?”

  “Well,” Seppo said, kicking at a bone, “I never really intended to win. It just sounded fun. So, she gave me permission and here I am. As to why I was with Lydian, well…” He paused. “We both know the reason for that.”

  Soren grunted. “There doesn’t seem like there’s a reason for it anymore.”

  I detached myself from Soren, breathing deeply to draw out the shame spreading through my body. I shouldn’t lose control like that; it would never serve me well. I straightened my bow on my shoulder, put the stiletto in the now-empty sheath on my hip, and let my face fall into a mask.

  “What do you both mean?” I asked. I certainly didn’t know the reason Seppo joined Lydian or why it mattered to Soren now. For Odin’s sake, I didn’t know why anyone would want to join up with Lydian.

  “Do you remember when the stag ran?” Soren asked. “What happened right before it?”

  “Yes, you both were throwing power around like mad, and the floor split and—” I stopped, having answered my own question. “Lydian’s and your power were the strongest in the room that day. When you both released it, the stag recognized it and ran. Lydian and you are the two most likely candidates to be the next Erlking.”

  Soren nodded. “Yes, exactly. You don’t know how many alliances I shot down before we went off.” He shook his head. “Sometimes my fellow goblins are little more than vultures.”

  “Why, though? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  He sighed. “Do you think, at the time, you would have hated me any less?”

  He had me there. Even now, picturing him on the Erlking’s throne, the most powerful predator in the Permafrost, I couldn’t help the disgust that threatened to curl my upper lip. But the idea of Lydian was worse.

  Seppo looked behind him at the massive rock wall. Something shuddered, and the ground beneath us shook. “We have to keep moving. I wasn’t lying about the eggs. There should be another way out of here. I mean, the male got in from somewhere, didn’t he?”

  I looked up toward the ceiling. Yes, I could see it. It was a treacherous climb with sharp points and jagged edges, black ice and loose rock, but there was a hole up top big enough for the creature to get through.

  The others followed my gaze. “Let’s go,” Soren said. He let go of his wounded arm, the dark green of the puncture mark now spreading up the length of his arm. I forced back the fear. We’ll find a way.

  I followed him, casting a glare at Seppo as he came beside me. “Why did you betray Lydian?” I asked. “Or did you really?”

  He eyed me calmly. “You really dislike me, don’t you?”

  “Give me a reason to like you,” I said.

  Seppo started ticking off fingers. “Well, one, I saved you from becoming lindworm chow. Two, I saved you and Soren from Lydian. Three, I think I have an idea about how to heal Soren. And last, but definitely not least, four, I know what Lydian is planning.”

  We’d reached the rock-and-ice wall. From where I stood, looking up at the daunting climb, the hole seemed miles away. But without a word, Soren boosted himself up against the crags, his body searching for any hold it could get. I found a foothold and started the ascent myself, forcing my gaze upward, never down at the ground, as I slowly went higher. Soren hissed as a piece of ice broke apart in his hand, leaving him hanging on by his bad arm. In one smooth motion, he swung his body until his back was against the wall, his feet on precarious ledges.

  Before I could do anything to help him, he tensed the muscles in his legs and sprang up, managing to grab a higher hold that jutted outward. The muscles in his arms were quivering, a sight I’d never seen before. But despite the pain he had to be in, not a single sound escaped from his lips.

  My fingers curled against the ice as I pulled myself farther and farther up. The temptation to look down gnawed at my insides, but if I did, I was positive I would freeze on spot. The muscles in my arms screamed as I pulled myself from handhold to handhold, jagged piece of ice after jagged piece of ice. When I finally got through the hole, which Soren had already climbed through, my body crumpled to the ground with exhaustion. I lay on the smooth stone, muscles still shaking with effort.

  Seppo came up last. For a moment we just lay there, fighting for breath. I wrinkled my nose at the smell of putrid flesh. Soren’s arm was getting worse.

  Even though my body screamed at me to rest, I stood and straightened my weapons. “You said you knew a way to heal Soren,” I said to Seppo.

  “I did,” he agreed.

  “Well, then let’s hear it,” I snapped, glancing back to where Soren lay, clutching his arm. Fear fluttered in my throat. He can’t die. He can’t.

  “You know you’d make a lot more friends if you weren’t so tense,” Seppo said.

  “I’m not here to make friends,” I said. “Do you know how to heal Soren or don’t you?”

  Seppo rubbed the back of his neck. “When she was younger, my mother spent a lot of time down here. She befriended the folk who lived here and mapped out every passage and which creature lived inside it. She even had a nickname.”

  “Fairy Tail,” Soren rasped. “Because she followed the folk more than she did goblinkind.”

  “She taught me about the passageways. About how if you whistle high enough, you can cause rocks to cave in, about where each creature resides, what it does, what you can get from it. Svartelves give knowledge about yourself, if you can survive the twisted way they show it; others grant pleasure, riches, wishes.” His gaze narrowed. “There’s a nøkken down near here, and I think if we play him right, he can give us something.”

  Soren nodded gravely, standing with slow, heavy movements. I hoped it wasn’t the venom, but instead his body aching from the climb. My own muscles were still spasming in pain, but I forced myself to keep standing. I would go on until I dropped.

  “Nøkkens grant wishes, if you give them something in return,” Seppo said. “Something personal, usually. It doesn’t matter if there is no known cure for lindworm venom. A nøkken can make it if you desire it.”

  “They also like to trap their victims down underwater until they die,” I said. The mothers of my village told their children the story before we could even walk. Don’t wander too close to the water’s edge. The nøkken will take you down to his realm.

  “That won’t happen,” Seppo said, his voice sure. “We can outsmart them. You can outsmart them.”

  We’d started moving again, following Seppo down the darkened tunnels. Every nerve in my body urged me to kill this man. I didn’t trust him. I’d made that clear, and whatever Soren thought of him, I would continue to be wary. He’d been Lydian’s man.

  “Why me?” I asked.

  “Can’t you hear it?” That was Soren, his voice stronger now than before. “The rushing sound? Wherever that creature is living, the current’s too strong for any goblin to stand it. It’ll have to be you.”

  I closed my eyes, straining my ears. Yes, he was right. The violent, thunderous sound of rushing water was close by, like a hundred horses stampeding past. It wasn’t a current any goblin could survive in; it would suck all their power away the minute they hit the water.

  “Seppo, can you give me a moment with Soren alone?”

  He nodded and stepped away, back the way we came.

  Soren eyed me. “You really don’t trust him, do you?”

  “Do you?”

  “No. But I’d also rather not die, and I know he’s telling the truth. Even if he is only half goblin, I can still tell if he lies, just like every other goblin. If we let him leave, we risk Lydian knowing what we’re up to. If we keep him close, at be
st he can tell us what Lydian is planning; at worst, we have a hostage.”

  I nodded. Soren’s words didn’t help me relax, but they made sense. “He told me Lydian is planning something, and I don’t think it’s something good.”

  Soren snorted. “When does Lydian ever plan something good? No, but I heard him too. He’s definitely up to something. I figured that out the moment he said he could use me. But if we kill Seppo, we might never know what’s going on.”

  I sighed. “We have to do this, don’t we?”

  Soren nodded, his hair falling in front of his eyes. “I know you can do it. Whatever the nøkken asks of you, I know you have it in you. You’re strong and brave, you can do anything you wish.”

  A giggle spurted from my lips. Strong? Brave? I didn’t feel like either of those things. But Soren thought them, and brutal honesty was his specialty.

  “Let’s go then,” I said.

  “Seppo,” Soren called back. “Come on.”

  Footsteps sounded until Seppo popped up again. As we walked, the rushing sound grew closer until the salty tinge of water was in the air. Back in Elvenhule we would go down to the docksides to swim, and the smell of the ocean was always my favorite. In the dark cavern, my heart twisted with homesickness as once again I smelled the sea. I pictured the water rushing, sloshing, roaring like the force of nature it was. I had been a good diver when I was young; I could still hold my breath for a long time. Surely, I could do this. I could, I would save Soren, just like he’d saved me.

  “It’s my fault you’re poisoned, you know,” I whispered, hoping Seppo wouldn’t hear.

  “No,” he said plainly. “It isn’t. I could’ve let you die, saved myself. My instincts would have agreed with that course of action. But I wasn’t listening to my instincts, I was listening to something else.”

  “Your heart?” I raised an eyebrow.

  He smirked. “You should know by now I’m a heartless monster.”