Frisky Business (Kinky Chronicles, #5)

by Jodi Redford

  “Again, I’d like to point out I’m a guy, and you’re wet and naked. Two ingredients for an instant boner.”

  “Fine, I’ll let you off the hook. But you’re still not getting shower nookie.” Her mouth twitching at his grumble, she hopped out of the shower and snatched one of the oversized bath sheets. “Looks like I should have thought to pack more clothes than I did.” Always the way. Then again, not like she would have predicted a weekend-long slumber party with Jack. In fact, if anyone had suggested the possibility she would have said they were out of their ever loving mind.

  “If you need to wash anything, feel free.”

  Grimacing, she tucked the ends of the towel together above her cleavage. “If your washer and dryer are as complicated as your shower, I’ll need a damn operating manual.”

  “Or you can just let me do it.”

  “Probably the wiser choice.” She became momentarily distracted as he ducked beneath the spray and slid his hand down his happy trail before soaping up his cock. “Okay, now you’re deliberately trying to entice me.”

  He slicked his hair back with his free hand and flashed a wolfish grin. “Is it working?”

  “Nope.”

  “Damn.”

  Shaking her head, she escaped into the bedroom before he really notched up his sexy evilness. A few minutes later, he joined her—swathed in a towel, thankfully. If he’d been buck naked it would have been damn tough not tackling him to the carpet. After a quick rummage through his dresser, he tossed her another T-shirt and a pair of lightweight flannel PJ bottoms sporting green and red velociraptors wearing Santa hats. She inspected the garment. “Err...where in the hell did you buy this awesome creation?”

  “My secretary’s daughter makes them.” He nodded to the small stack of neatly folded loungewear in the corner of the drawer. “All of those are Andie’s designs. She does custom work too. I was thinking of having her do a crazy bride and groom set for Trig and Marissa.”

  “Know what would be even more brilliant? If I commission her to do a crazy bride and groom set for Trig and Marissa. Because clearly crazy is my forte.”

  Jack grunted. “No way. You’re not stealing my epic idea.”

  “Or...I could give you a blowjob and you let me use your idea.”

  He scratched his jaw, evidently mulling over her proposal. “How about you give me a blowjob and the gift can be from both of us?”

  “Deal.” She held up her hand when he took a step toward her, his satisfied smirk threatening to sabotage her willpower. “Later.”

  “Tease.”

  “Says the man who unmercifully subjected me to half a dozen orgasms last night.”

  “It was eight. Not that I was counting or anything.”

  “Uh huh.” She dropped the bath sheet and quickly shimmied into the loaned PJs while Jack pulled on a pair of flannel bottoms featuring polka-dot-patterned pterodactyls. “I sense a theme in your loungewear.”

  “Not gonna lie. I’ve seen all of the Jurassic Park movies more times than I should publically admit to.”

  “Which is your favorite?”

  He gaped at her like she’d voiced the most insane inquiry in recorded history. “The first. None of the others come remotely close to topping it, for shit’s sake.”

  “I agree. Although, Chris Pratt is hilarious and fucking hot...” She chuckled at the dark look winged her way. “What? These things have to be taken into consideration.”

  “We’re going to pretend we never had this conversation.”

  Not bothering to hide her obnoxious grin, she scooped up her small pile of laundry and followed him out of the room.

  ~*~

  “Nana!”

  Jane’s jumpy nerves launched into a spirited Can-Can as Sunny tackle-hugged the waist belonging to the petite, dark-haired woman who’d entered the living room. Sucking in a steadying breath, she pushed to her feet. You will not be an inappropriate weirdo. Got it? Fuck yeah, you’ve got this. Also, no yelling fuck yeah. Or even whispering it. Here we go...

  Before she had a chance to open her mouth and potentially stick her foot inside it, Jack walked in from the kitchen. He stalled next to their newly-arrived guest, and after stooping to offer her a peck on the cheek, he turned in Jane’s direction. His reassuring smile went straight to the gooey center of her heart, dissolving a fraction of her anxiousness.

  “Mom, I’d like you to meet Jane.”

  Well, he hadn’t labeled her as his friend Jane. Practically qualified this moment as a historical turning point in their relationship. Snuffing her snort, she met Jack’s mother midway in the room and accepted her handshake. Blatant curiosity lit the woman’s face, along with one of the happiest smiles Jane had ever witnessed.

  So far so good.

  “Jane went to the zoo with us, Nana. And spent the night!”

  Aaaaaaaand here’s where the awkwardness waltzes into the picture. Wincing, she dropped Mrs. Brewster’s hand. “I slept on the couch.” Holy hell. Why did she say that? Clearly, her mouth came with an automatic bullshit button. Not really a newsflash there, sadly.

  Sunny scrunched her forehead. “But you weren’t down here this morning to watch cartoons. Where was you?”

  Shit. Little kids could give lessons on busting people. She swung her gaze to Jack. Like that wasn’t a dead giveaway of her guilt. Judging from his grin, the jerk would be of no help at all. “Err...” Her damn BS button would have to crap out when she needed it most.

  Jack’s mom reclaimed Jane’s hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “No need to say anything. It’s been a long time since my son has had sleepovers. I, for one, am absolutely thrilled he’s gotten back in the saddle.”

  Okay, that was not a sexual euphemism, right? She made the horrendous mistake of glancing toward Jack again and caught his eyebrow waggle and smirk. Aw shit. She bit the inside of her cheek hard to keep her laugh in check.

  Sunny tugged on Mrs. Brewster’s free hand, effectively snagging the woman’s attention. “Nana, can we make cookies?”

  Easy to see who wore the cat’s pajamas now. Totally understandable. Grandmas and baked goods pretty much trumped all else in life.

  “Sun Bun, we don’t have the stuff to make cookies,” Jack pointed out.

  His mom offered a dismissive wave. “That’s what grocery stores are for.”

  “And I suppose I get the honor of schlepping my butt to said grocery store?”

  Mrs. Brewster patted her son’s cheek before winking at Jane. “See what a smart child I raised?”

  Grunting, he traipsed toward the hall, presumably to fetch his keys. He returned a moment later, a determined glint in his gaze. “Jane is coming with me.”

  His mom cocked an eyebrow. “Why? Worried I’m going to pull out embarrassing childhood photos of you while you’re gone?”

  “As you said—you didn’t raise a dummy.”

  “Very well. This gives me more time to dig up the really mortifying ones anyway.”

  Completely enchanted by their banter, Jane trailed Jack outside to his car. She sent him a bemused look as he held the passenger door open. “I freakin’ love your mom.”

  “Yeah, she does have a tendency to grow on a person. Sorta like someone else I know.”

  Although she was dying to ask him to elaborate on that last part, she kept her lips zipped during their short road trip.

  The Kroger store down the street from his house was newer than the one she shopped at and obviously catered to a wealthier crowd, judging by a number of BMWs in the parking lot. She grabbed one of the handbaskets near the entry and strolled inside the building. The cheesy elevator music piped through the PA system was absolutely screaming for some creative lyrics. Damn good thing she was there to save the day in that regard. “We’re going shopping, yeaaaaaaah. We’re going shopping for some sugar, yeah yeah yeah. But not that artificial sweeter crap, hell noooooooo. Because it tastes like gorilla pisssssssss. Or so I asummmmmmme. Yeah yeah yeah.” She caught the side-eye Jack shuttled
her way. Snuffing her sing-along, she chuckled evilly. “You’re going to wish you’d bit the bullet and let your mom show me pics of you bare-assed on a sheepskin rug.”

  “What, and miss your interesting duet with Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass? Not a chance.”

  “Can’t say I blame you. It is pretty damn epic, even without the accompanying interpretive dance I usually do. I knew I shouldn’t have left my clogging shoes at home.” Sighing dramatically, she scanned the overhead aisle markers. The setup appeared similar to her regular store—which meant they were nowhere near the right general vicinity.

  “It’s this way,” Jack offered, apparently reading her mind as he so excelled at doing. It’d backfire on him eventually, seeing how her brain was an awesomely scary place. Lacing his fingers with hers, he veered off path, taking a shortcut through the kitchen goods section. Under normal circumstances, it would have been a prime opportunity to make lewd suggestions for the turkey basters. Instead, she couldn’t stop fixating on the fact they were holding hands...while grocery shopping. It was the sort of obnoxious couplehood PDA she’d mercilessly heckle anyone else over. And here she was, struggling to contain her dopey grin.

  They reached the correct aisle and Jack dropped her hand so he could grab a package of chocolate chips. Probably a good thing. She’d been two seconds away from snapping a selfie of them and posting it as her fucking profile pic on Facebook. Ugh. Talk about reasonable grounds for bitch slapping her own damn self.

  He tossed the chips into the basket. “Any special cookie requests?”

  “Butterscotch is a necessity of life.” She snagged one of the nearby bags and pitched it in alongside its semisweet friends. “Only now the white chocolate chips feel seriously slighted.”

  He reached around her and filched the morsels from the shelf. “Problem solved.”

  She inspected the growing pile of ingredients in the basket. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but...are we committing cookie overkill here?”

  “No such thing.”

  “You are my soul mate. Clearly.” The second the quip escaped, she fervently wished she could reel it back in. Especially when Jack shot her an indecipherable look.

  She indulged in a silent groan. Someone needed to put her out of her misery before she hung herself. Whipping out the soul mate terminology was an unforgivable faux pas. Even while grocery shopping. Who knows, maybe doing it in the middle of the baking aisle made it infinitely more sacrilegious. Hell, she didn’t have a handbook on this shit. These situations were precisely the reason she’d never shopped with a man before. Well, that and the whole elevator music sing-along likely would have scared them off. Except for Jack. He was apparently down with her weirdness.

  Up to a certain degree, that is. Stupid soul mate references are obviously the line drawn in the sand.

  Damn it. Where were the clogging shoes when she needed them? No better way to subvert an uncomfortable moment than spontaneous dancing. It saved her ass more than a time or two. Of course, it’d also heightened the uncomfortableness a time or too. In the world of spontaneous dancing, it was the price one paid.

  “Jane?”

  She jolted at the familiar voice behind her. Dazed, she pivoted to blink at Sidney—who was goggling at her in equal bemusement.

  “What are you doing on this side of town?” Sid’s gaze roved beyond Jane’s shoulder and widened. Not difficult to determine the cause.

  Under different circumstances, getting caught sulking around Kroger with the man she’d been doing a bang-up job of villainizing for the last eighteen months? Suffice it to say it would also fall under the category of slightly uncomfortable. Instead, Sid proved to be a better distraction than clogging shoes. Probably the first time anyone’s ever made that comparison. “Heeeey, you.” Yeah, that overly enthusiastic greeting wasn’t suspicious at all. “It’s Cookie Sunday.”

  “I have no idea what that means, but okay.” Sid’s attention remained fused to Jack.

  Jane cleared her throat. “You guys remember each other, right?”

  Sid veered a disbelieving stare in Jane’s direction before quickly plastering on a smile as Jack stepped forward. She accepted his handshake, her befuddlement faintly visible. “Of course. Good to see you again.”

  “Likewise. And congratulations.” He nodded toward the enormous rock sparkling on Sidney’s ring finger when she frowned at him. “Couldn’t help noticing, seeing how it about blinded me.”

  Jane gaped at the enormous diamond. “What in the ever fuck is that?” She snapped her attention up to Sid’s face. “You’re engaged? When the hell were you going to tell me?”

  “It happened yesterday. I tried calling you last night.”

  Aw, shit. She really needed to get in the habit of charging her cell phone. “Do the Kink Geeks know?”

  Sid rolled her eyes. “Yes. Who do you think popped the question?”

  “Uh, how is it remotely possible to marry both of them?”

  “It’s complicated. But sorta doable. I’ll give you the whole scoop tomorrow.” Sid’s focus momentarily cruised to Jack. “Apparently we have tons to talk about.”

  Wincing at the truth in that understatement, she hugged Sidney. A heavy pang of emotion cut through her. Aw hell. She was turning into the sappiest moron on the planet, and she had no damn idea why. Maybe this whole business with Jack unlocked her inner emo. “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks. Though you probably think I’m crazy for doing this.” There was no mistaking the dryness in Sid’s tone.

  “As long as you make me Maid of Honor I’ll keep my thoughts to myself.”

  “Heh. Something told me you’d say that.” Sidney squeezed her tight, using the gesture as an opportunity to whisper in her ear. “I’m dead serious. You better spill everything tomorrow.”

  “It’s a long, complicated story.”

  “Those are my favorite kind.” Sid released her and they spent another minute or so shooting the shit before saying their goodbyes. Sidney pushed her cart toward the neighboring aisle, leaving Jane with no convenient decoy against further date-sabotage slips of her tongue.

  At this point, her best course of action was to only speak in monosyllables and grunts.

  Oddly edgy as well, Jack scratched his nape. “Ready to hit the register?”

  Fortunately, that question didn’t even require words. She nodded and made fast tracks to the front of the store.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Exactly noon on the dot, her cell buzzed with an incoming text. She scanned Sid’s message, her stomach horrendously jumpy. If you’re not down here in 2 minutes we’re hunting your ass down.

  Yeah, she’d deliberately put off the inevitable like a complete chicken shit wuss. Now Sidney and Marissa were obviously on to her. It wasn’t so much about avoiding the boatload of grief rightly about to be heaped on her. Full disclosure—she wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, either. But she had no problem eating crow for the greater good. It was the least she owed Jack for the endless smack she used to talk about him.

  What she absolutely didn’t want to face though? The queasy sensation in her gut insistently reminding her she was in way over her head—and her heart—with him. Sid and Marissa knew her too well. They’d see through any BS she tried to concoct about her feelings for him. Then she’d have to actually address all these squicky emotions giving her a bad case of indigestion. She’d have to put a name to them. The dreaded name. And who the fuck wanted to open that can of squirming worms?

  Grimacing, she picked up her phone and shot off a reply. Be there in less than five. Grab me a slice of pizza if you’re still in line.

  Sid’s response pinged an instant later. Vegetarian, right? *ducks for cover*

  She volleyed back with an appropriate barfy-face emoji followed by an equally suitable middle finger icon. That important task done, she slid her cell inside her purse. Plunking her chin in her hand, she stared at her computer screen, silently willing it to provide the answers
to life. Or at a minimum, how the hell she was supposed to go about untangling this wretched mess.

  The obsessive crush she used to have on Jack? Child’s play compared to the current insanity taking over her whole being. This exhilarating, sometimes nauseating, thrill-ride rush put the twistiest, scariest roller coaster to shame. Yes, there was the intense spark between them that never seemed to dull—hence why they couldn’t seem to keep their hands off of each other. But it went deeper than that. For her, at least. It wasn’t merely chemistry. It wasn’t only toe-curling sex. It was a powerful connection...one she felt all the way to her sou—

  Ugh. No. She’d already made the mistake of letting that word slip loose. Gotta keep it reined in before she completely doomed herself. She glared at her monitor. “You’re thoroughly useless.”

  Reg’s voice carried from the other side of the cubicle. “Did you say something?”

  Normally she would have jumped right on that easy opening, but she was too tired and edgy to put in the proper effort of fucking with her coworker. Damn, she really was broken. Sighing, she shoved up from her seat and hooked her purse’s strap over her shoulder. “I’m heading down to the cafeteria. Want me to bring you anything back?”

  Being considerate proved to be a huge mistake, evidenced by the four minutes it took Reg to compile his complicated menu request. By the time he wrapped things up she’d forgotten half of his order and her left foot had fallen asleep. Probably from sheer boredom. “Restaurant workers routinely spit in your food. You know this, right?”

  He gaped at her blankly. “Huh?”

  “Nothing.” Pocketing the cash he’d handed over, she pivoted and schlepped toward the exit, her gait awkward thanks to her stupid numb foot.

  Downstairs, Marissa and Sid were holding down the fort at their regular table. Spying the Modern Bride magazine wedged between the plates of food, Jane expelled a relieved breath. Something to shift the spotlight from her. Yesh!