“We need to take our time so there are no misunderstandings.”
“Do you think we’re getting involved too fast?” he asked, disappointed.
“Hey, too fast is my middle name. Not that I am loose!” Falling against each other in laughter, they were comfortable teasing.
“Shit! Guess what I just remembered,” John said. “Cassandra is probably married by now!”
“How do you feel?” she asked. “Are you sad?” He thought for a moment.
“No, not sad. If anything, revengeful. But when she finds out I’m with you, she’s going to be livid. I think it will be my revenge.”
“Why? We don’t know each other, do we?”
“No, but she knows of you. You and Mr. Smith had a standing in town, you know what I mean; the beautiful Mrs. Jack Smith and her generous, handsome husband. I believe there was once even a helicopter shot of a party you held here in the Babylon paper. A Memorial Day party, if I remember correctly. Not to mention the photos in the Times; you made the Sunday paper for your fall decorating, that sort of notoriety.” He didn’t mention the horrible stories written about Jack after Brent was murdered. And he’d allow her to believe he knew nothing of her past, the humiliation she must have felt by her husband’s betrayal. When she wanted to tell him, he’d listen to her. But it didn’t make any difference. He’d discovered a tender, sweet and kind woman, beautiful inside and out.
“God yes, all the women in town are jealous of me because I make a killer scarecrow. If you’re still around, just wait. My fall decorating is definitely famous in town.” Pulling her close again, he chuckled.
“So I’ve heard. We will make quite a team, you and I. I was fined for my Christmas decorations ten years ago. Can you top that?”
“By whom?” she asked, shocked.
“The neighborhood association,” he replied. “I received a warning, and then when we refused to take the lights down, I was fined. Had to get a lawyer and everything.”
“So you’re saying you would plan the decorations with me.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” He didn’t ask, wouldn’t your husband do it? If he had, she wouldn’t be asking. If anything he’d read about Jack Smith was real, he was sure she defended him many times. They watched the shadows grow longer over the veranda as the sun moved behind the house.
“I wonder if I should go to Delaware. Jeff should be pulling in at any moment. Maybe he’ll be able to tell me something.”
“Do you feel like you should go?” John asked softly.
“Not really. This may sound heartless, but I don’t want to be obligated now. If I were married to him, I’d be by his side and do what I could. But he sealed that deal one week ago.”
“My sense is that you should just wait here for someone to call you. A leader always rises to the top in these tragic situations. Let his daughter, or his brother-in-law. They’ll call you and let you know if there’s anything you can do.” Prophetically, the telephone rang. She went into the hallway to answer.
“Pam, it’s Jeff,” he said, crying distinguishable. “The unidentified passenger was Aaron. Jason’s son. He was with him on the boat. When Jason finds out, he’ll be crushed. It sounds like the accident was Jason’s fault, too.”
“Oh, how sad,” Pam said, stunned. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yes, me too. We’re headed down there now. Can you come along? I feel like we need you there for emotional support.”
Taken aback, Pam knew the answer to her question of whether she should go to Delaware, and the answer was no. “Oh Jeff, I’m so sorry, but I have guests today. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle whatever you encounter there.” After a short silence, he came back, anger evident.
“You were going to marry him a week ago and now he’s near death and you don’t want to be near him?” Against her will, Pam could feel her indignation building.
“He brought that on himself, Jeff. The both of you did. Don’t ever call me again.” She slammed the phone down as hard as she could. Walking back to the veranda, she was mildly embarrassed for her outburst in front of John, but triumphant as well. She’d spent her whole life helping people who had betrayed her and with that one phone call changed her destiny.
“I guess you’re not going to Delaware,” he said, mildly amused. “I definitely have to hand it to you, sweetheart, you are a tiger.”
“I really am not,” she replied. “Just pushed to the point of exasperation.”
“What did he say to provoke you?”
“Enough words to try to make me feel guilty. Well, guess what? I’m not going there, ever again. Been there, done that!”
“Come on, let’s go to shopping. You need a fountain out in front.” Pam paused and took a step back, trying not to grimace. “Don’t frown. Are you Italian or not? What kind of yard is this without a beautiful fountain and a statue of Michael with a fig leaf?” Screaming with laughter, Pam forgot about Jason and his son, for now.
“Whatever you want,” she said. So she got her wish; a companion who was just as interested as she was in the beautification of her yard, with a twist.
Chapter 13
Driving down Interstate 95 in silence, Ted and Jeff were at odds about the reason for the trip.
“This man is your ex-brother-in-law, may I remind you. Ex. Your ex-wife should be making the trip. Not us.”
“Why didn’t you stay behind if it was going to be a problem for you?”
Ted looked out the window, at traffic barreling along. “Because I don’t trust Jason,” he replied softly. Jeff shook his head, as if trying to clear his hearing.
“Did I just hear you correctly? Ted, the man is almost dead. He’s as much a threat to you as Natalie is to me.” Ted shuddered, glad Jeff didn’t know about his recent rendezvous with Natalie.
“I know I'm unreasonable but Jason was taking up so much of our time. He was an interloper, too, always hanging around the beach. It was getting on my nerves.” Jeff took his hand.
“I don’t think that will be a problem anymore, dear. According to the nurse I talked to, his condition is grave.”
“Horrible about the accident,” Ted said, contrite. “And losing his son; can’t even imagine it.”
“He doesn’t know about it yet, of course. If he ever regains consciousness, it will be something he’ll have to deal with since it appears he was at fault.”
“From eavesdropping on your phone call, it appears Pam is absolved from any concern about Jason,” Ted said, eager to change the subject.
“Can you believe her? Just a week ago, she was ready to proclaim until death does us part. Boy it doesn’t take much.”
“Jeff! Listen to what you’re saying. That putz left her at the altar in a ten thousand dollar designer couture.”
“Maybe she’ll lend it to you,” Jeff replied sarcastically.
“I could get two, one for each thigh. I still don’t understand what happened. One day he’s strutting around here like a proud peacock and the next day he’s hiding out in Philadelphia in mourning for his late wife. And what the hell was he doing with Sandra? I’m all for May/December, but on him it was disturbing.”
“My ex tells me that Jason swears he’d done nothing to be ashamed of,” Jeff answered, not fully believing it. “They were ‘just friends.’”
“Pam really got screwed from all of you. I’d be ashamed of myself if I were you.”
“Jesus, Ted, whose side are you on?”
“There are no sides to take. You were her friend and you betrayed her by gossiping to Jason. I heard what Sandra said to you. ‘Pam told everyone you were her best friend.’”
“Ted, I don’t need to point out that Sandra was her friend,” Jeff said, guilt making him defensive. “Anyway, what difference does it make now? I can’t do restitution because she’ll barely speak to me.”
“You’re not trying hard enough. She’s our next-door neighbor. It’s uncomfortable enough for me with the family of your ex-wife traipsing in and out. Are y
ou the only former family member who has a house on the water?”
“Except for Jason, yes.”
“Ugh. I’d hardly call the Delaware water.”
“You’ll lose your life if you talk like that around a Philadelphian.” They didn’t say anything to each other for a while. Then the topic Ted had been dreading came up. “So what happened with Natalie? For a while there, I thought she was going to ask to move in. Then all of a sudden she disappeared.”
“She spent a week at Pam’s,” Ted said, worried.
“Pam’s. Now what brought that about?” Jeff glanced over at Ted, wisely thinking there was more there than met the eye.
After a long weekend with Ben, Natalie was ready to be alone in her apartment. The week with Pam was wonderful, therapeutic almost, but by Friday, she knew she couldn’t run away any longer. Her daughter Deborah was starting to call her daily, asking when she was coming home. And Ben, poor Ben. He really did love Natalie, but powerful phobias about leaving home prevented him from driving down to visit her as much as he wanted to. Not wanting to pressure him, she decided the time they spent together might be enough for now.
Everything was going along smoothly until the weekend of the wedding. Ted invited her to spend it at the beach with him and Jeff. After work on Friday, he arranged to swing by in a car and pick her up. Deborah was out with Zach when he stopped over and, unfortunately, Natalie had just gotten out of the shower. Meeting him at the door with a towel wrapped around her head, wet ringlets of hair peeking out, and a silky bathrobe around her shoulders, Natalie no longer worried being around Ted. He’d made it clear after a quick sexual encounter they had that it was a mistake and he just wasn’t attracted to her. But Friday evening, her sweet smiling face and voluptuous body was more than he bargained for. She stood aside for him to pass by, and the fragrance of her shampoo wafted to him. Looking over to her, he saw her cleavage, at least six inches of it, disappearing under her robe and it went right to his penis, which responded unwelcomingly. Ignoring it, he moved away, willing himself to leave her alone.
“Do you want a drink? Some water? Or a coffee?’
“Coffee would be nice,” he said, glancing back at her as she turned for the kitchen. Her large rear end bobbed under the silky robe, inexplicably arousing him. What’s wrong with you, you moron? He stood in the window, looking out over Broadway.
“Come get it, Ted,” she called, and he walked back to her tiny kitchen, forgetting about his erection. But Natalie didn’t miss it.
“What? Was there a naked guy out in the hallway? I know that’s not for me.”
“It is,” he said, smiling. “Call me fickle.” She cackled, and took a step back, opening her robe. There she was, the earth mother in all her glory. He pointed to her breasts.
“May I?” She nodded, aching for him. Ted, you fucker, using me again. Please use me.
“I guess so,” she sighed. “It’ll take me a year to get over it, but I’ll take what I can get from you.”
“Where’s our daughter?” Ted asked, touching her, lowering his mouth to her. But she was in heaven and didn’t hear him.
Afterward, she couldn’t seem to catch her breath, sending him back to Long Island alone in the car, the driver wondering what was taking so long. “I’ll take the train in the morning and meet you at Jeff’s,” she said.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sincerely concerned.
“I am. I want to not have to pretend it didn’t happen for a while longer.” He nodded his head.
After he had left, the relief of being alone so she could mourn was palpable. Knowing how ridiculous it was that she allowed him to use her, but also that it was the beginning of something that was going to grow between them, gave her hope. Getting her comfy clothes on, she’d spend the evening reading and snacking, going to her room before Deborah came home so she didn’t have to make small talk. She even avoided talking to Ben, feeling less like she’d been unfaithful to him than wanting to end it, but not wanting to do it prematurely.
Saturday morning she left quietly for the walk to the train. When she arrived in Babylon, Ted was overly solicitous, fawning almost, and she thought Jeff looked at them suspiciously. “What are you two up to?” he asked. After the debacle of the wedding and reception was over, Natalie didn’t know what to do. It was too late to take the train back to Manhattan, but she didn’t want to stay at Jeff’s.
“Thank you for last night,” Ted whispered to her at they sat together in the church. “I can’t get your smell off my face. I’m afraid Jeff is going to notice I’m covered with woman.” She frowned, elbowing him.
“You’re disgusting,” she said, meaning it. Then later that evening, she’d caught Pam peeping in the window, and it saved her. She’d end up staying at Pam’s, washing her same wedding clothes over and over again, never thinking once of men or heartache or unhappy endings, until Friday.
By the time she got back to the city, Ben had called, letting her know he was on his way to spend the weekend with her. She wasn’t ready to replace the sensations in her body with another man’s touch. Making the excuse that it was her time of the month, he accepted it and didn’t expect anything from her.
And the night before he went back to the island after work, Ted came by the apartment to make love to the only woman he’d ever loved.
***
Pam stood on the sidewalk in front of her beautiful beach house. The architect planned the angles of the house so that its size wasn’t apparent until you were at the front door. There was a slight rise of earth between the house and the road, giving the place an almost diminutive feel belying the vast space within. The serpentine walkway was a delight to the senses. Pam had put every planting in place herself, balancing color, form and scent. Specimen trees, a mugo pine, Chinese maples, weeping junipers, flowering crab; graced the center of each flowerbed. A newly installed, flamboyant four-tier marble fountain dominated the area. Watching while John and two workmen put the finishing touches on the speed and force of the water as it bubbled over into the basin below, Pam didn’t know if she was pleased or appalled. Watch out what you wish for. She remembered feeling the same way when Jack replaced the unpretentious terrace that used to be off the back of the house, its slate floor and wisteria vines with the massively ostentatious veranda. She wasn’t sure about it at the time but later would say it was the best place to be in the entire house.
“Well, what do you think?” John yelled across the yard. Pam nodded her head and smiled. He was taking ownership and she was ready to share.
“Do you like it?” she called. He took at few steps back and examined it, looking this way and that. Turning to her, he shouted over the splashing.
“I love it! Now that’s what I’m talking about!” He high-fived the workers before they walked to their truck. John came over to her, putting his arm around her.
“You aren’t buying that for me,” she said. “I can’t imagine how expensive a gigantic marble fountain is.”
“I got it cheap at Ferry Stone, the place making your countertops. It was in their selvedge area. A customer put a summer kitchen in where the fountain used to be.”
“That must have been one heck of a summer kitchen,” she said. “It’ll take some getting used to because of its size. But it’s growing on me.”
“Oh, no. You don’t really like it, do you?” He was crestfallen.
“Its beautiful!” she walked over to it, looking at it with a critical eye. From a distance, it looked like an ordinary grey marble, but up close, veins of turquoise blue dotted with copper ran through it. “The marble is beautiful.”
The splashing water seemed a bit redundant with the ocean on the other side of the house, but then she had a change of heart; the fountain only pointed to the yet undiscovered things out of view. It offered visitors a taste of what was to come.
“It’s fine,” she repeated. “I wanted a change and I think you’ve provided it.” They held each other, scrutinizing the yard. It might be time to live
n up the plantings. “Maybe we need to do something else with the landscaping, too.” So as it often happens, one thing led to another and John and Pam would undertake a complete front yard makeover project while the kitchen was torn apart.
Chapter 14
By the third day of the cruise, the staid Bernice and proper Nelda had taken to wearing bathing suit cover-ups, hair in banana clips and no make up but lipstick. They spent their days lounging around the pool, drinking Mai-Tai’s and eating hot dogs from the snack bar.
“I’ve never done this, even as a kid,” Nelda said.
“You must have! Not even at Coney Island?”
“I’m from Detroit, remember,” Nelda said. “More exactly from Hamtramck. We didn’t go to the beach. Well, that’s not exactly correct. I remember some weekend trips to Lake Erie with my family but never like this. Never with a girlfriend.”
Bernice grabbed her hand. “Is that what we are?” she asked. “Are we girlfriends?”
“Oh my God, are you kidding me? Of course, we are!” Bernice struggled not to tear up in front of everyone around the pool. Nelda squeezed Bernice’s hand. “Ever since you offered to host my daughter’s rehearsal dinner when Jack and Pam got married I’ve been indebted to you.”
“I did? I must have been drunk the whole time because I don’t remember.”
“Yes, well I was drunk, but I remember what you did for us,” Nelda said. “And the past five years have been filled with excitement and happiness because of you.” Knowing most of it was paid for by Pam didn’t minimize how gracious Bernice was once she got used to Nelda always being around.
“I’ll never forget the first night I spent in the Smith Mansion on Columbus.”
“That was a fabulous house, wasn’t it?” Bernice reminisced. “It was a privilege living there. The beautiful gardens, that conservatory, the flowers and statuary. Sometimes I forgot I was in the middle of Manhattan. ”
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