I’ll hold you closely, tenderly.”
“Aunt Lisa sings that to us!”
“Ah. She remembered it, then,” Pam replied, pleased. She would try to remember to sing it to little Brent, too.”
“We were very close, your mother and I. She was my best friend.”
“What was her name again?”
“Your mother’s name was Marie,” Pam replied shocked. When was the last time anyone talked to her about her mother?
“Marie. That’s so pretty.”
“Yes, and she was an adorable child too, just like you. As a matter of fact, you look exactly like she did at your age. She had the same curly hair, just like you. And her eyes were hazel. She was the only student who had hazel eyes in her whole grade at school and all the other little girls were jealous of her.” Miranda smiled at Pam, the comparison with her mother longed-for.
“What’s hazel?”
“Just like you have,” Pam said, looking deep into her eyes. “It’s kind of green, but sort of brown, too.” Pam thought about Marie’s eyes when she was an anorexic teenager, starving herself to death. Her eyes were gigantic, hauntingly beautiful. And before she went blind, before she went into a coma, the same thing. The eyes, a window to the soul. If only I’d known, Pam thought, guilt about Marie’s abuse at the hands of Jack bubbling up to choke her, yet again.
“I’m glad I look like her. Noni tells me that too.”
“Well, there you go,” Pam replied, trying to keep her focus on Miranda.
“Was she smart?”
“Marie was very smart. She graduated at the top of her class in college. She could have been a writer.”
“Did you like her?” Miranda was scrutinizing Pam’s face.
“I loved her, and she loved me. We were as close as two sisters could be,” Pam replied, tears spilling onto her cheeks. “She was my soulmate.”
“Soulmate? What does that mean?” Pam thought the betrayal of Marie and Jack might have crushed her if she hadn’t loved Marie as much as she did. Their love for each other transcended betrayal.
She could hear Marie’s voice. Pam, you are always so full of shit, and it made her have to stifle a giggle.
“Your mommy was the one person in the whole world who I trusted so completely, I knew I could tell her anything at all and she would understand. When I was with Marie, I was at peace.”
“You can tell me if you want,” Miranda said. “I’ll be your soulmate, too.” Pam reached for her and hugged her again.
“Oh, I would love that. I miss your mommy so much.” Since Marie died, Pam had no one she cared about as much. Of course, she loved her children over the top, but it was just different. No one would ever replace Marie.
“Why did my mommy die?” Here goes, Pam thought.
“She just got sick.”
“It’s not fair,” she said, choking up again, tears streaming down her face.
“No, it is not fair,” Pam said. “It is certainly not fair.”
***
Miranda was going to preschool. Pam, Lisa and the grandmothers shopped until she had one of every available outfit for a diminutive four-year-old. Jumping up and down with glee, she was so excited the night before her first day; Pam was worried she wouldn’t sleep.
Annabelle moved into the apartment above the garage so the third room in the children’s wing of the house would be available for Miranda. Formerly Marie’s room, they converted it into a room fit for a princess. John’s crew tore out everything and started fresh, but for a foot square piece of wallpaper Marie chose herself, which they left in place on the wall to the left of the bed. Pam bought an antique frame for the square of paper, memorialized for eternity, or until the next owners got rid of it.
“Your mommy picked out that wallpaper to cover the walls of her room right after we bought this house,” Pam explained.
“Did she live with you instead of noni?” Miranda asked.
“She was grown up by the time we came to the beach. She stayed in this very room,” Pam said, looking around. The memories were as clear as though they’d happened weeks earlier. Pam and Jack carefully planned how they would tell Marie they were moving, knowing how upset she’d be having her life turned upside down.
Marie soon fell into a routine of arriving at the beach on Saturday and staying through until Monday morning, sometimes going back into the city with Jack. After Jack’s death, when Marie confessed that she’d had a sexual relationship with Jack that spanned thirty years, Pam continued to try to love her sister and consider her a best friend. But this wasn’t information Miranda would never get, at least from Pam’s mouth.
Pam looked around the room, at the changes they’d made for Miranda and at little Miranda, who was so happy standing next to her. It was vindication enough for Pam. To have forgiven Marie completely was the only way Pam could have moved forward. Rather than feeling weak and stupid as she had in the past, the process of forgiving her sister empowered her now.
Bending over, she hugged Miranda. “I’m excited we’re together! I know your mommy would be so happy, too. I love you, Miranda.”
“I love you, too Aunt Pam.”
Chapter 30
Friday evening, sitting in the back of a limousine, Pam watched the familiar scenery fly by as they drove into Brooklyn. A year had passed since she’d last come into the city. Brooklyn wasn’t really the city. Feeling oddly detached, the surroundings failed to move her, and she was glad. The trip was to pick up her toddler grandson who she would have for a long weekend. The only caveat, unknown by Pam, was that nanny Valarie had forgotten to tell Sandra that Pam was on her way.
The car pulled up to the brownstone and Pam opened the door, putting her expensively shod, trim foot onto the pavement before the driver could get out. “Wait here, please,” she asked, shaking her head in disgust. Parked in front of the limousine was a very familiar looking Porsche, its license held within a Babylon dealership license plate holder. The putz who owned the car hadn’t even bothered to swap the tacky frame for a nicer one. It was so typical of him.
Looking up at the house, she made the split second decision that she’d take the generous offer a real estate investor made for it earlier that month. The driver was standing at the side of the car, watching out for her. Pam supposed it was a request made by John, and she smiled. She’d never felt so protected and loved, not in entire her life, not even by Jack.
The granite steps leading to the massive and impressive front door were littered with dry leaves. She looked up at the trees and noticed they were starting to change, just slightly ahead of the island. Knocking, a familiar face walked toward her, visible in the glass of the door. He opened it, his look unreadable. Not triumph exactly, but close, mixed with resignation. He was unable to stay faithful to anyone, not only her.
“Just like a fly on shit,” Pam said. The crude obscenity startled him, but he laughed, accepting the fitting description.
***
Earlier that day, office hours ending at noon, Dan looked at his watch, thinking of the free afternoon stretching ahead of him. Waiting for him at home; Gladys, Daniela’s eyes smoldering with desire, Lisa’s guileful acceptance. Something was up with her. Guilt over staying out for the evening was trying to seep into his head, but without success. He picked up the phone and dialed a now familiar number, hoping to meet her once again at the diner under the Brooklyn Bridge.
Author’s Notes
Regarding Induced Lactation there really is such a thing in which an adoptive mother can produce milk to nurse through mechanical stimulation of the breasts. It can be further enhanced through the use of hormones.
Also by Suzanne Jenkins
The following are available on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon.com. Click the titles to follow the links to Amazon.
#1 Pam of Babylon Long Island housewife Pam Smith is called to the hospital after her husband, Jack, suffers a heart attack on the train from Manhattan. It is the beginning of a journey of self-discovery and s
adness, growth and regrets, as she realizes a wife and mother’s worst nightmare.
#2 Don’t You Forget About Me The family begins to sift through the evidence of a life of deceit, putting together the pieces left behind by Jack.
#3 Dream Lover A gritty, realistic portrait of the aftermath of deceit, more pieces of the puzzle come together as the women each attempt to go on living in the wake of despair. More characters are introduced, including Ashton.
#4 Prayers for the Dying Jack Smith’s victims attempt to move forward while grappling with the pain and horror that he left behind. Pam makes startling revelations about herself, while Sandra hopes for a future with exciting expectations. Marie is in a most unlikely place, with the happiest news in the bleakest circumstances. Ashton’s story of a lifetime love affair with Jack is finally told, with his heartache revealed.
#5 Family Dynamics Heartbreak and devastation move toward triumph in the fifth and final installation of the Pam of Babylon series. Pam is at last able to overcome the pain of Jack’s rejection, and her own role in perpetuating his deviance, when she meets Dan and falls in love. Her children move on with their lives in ways Pam would have never believed. Sandra fulfills her dreams with Tom, and a gift from Marie helps to complete their life together. Ashton and Ted build a beautiful life, and new discoveries make it richer than they thought possible, but with a twist. But don’t be deceived; what you hope for is not what you may get.
#6 The Tao of Pam A beautiful life at the beach is marred by secrets and lies as the legacy of Jack Smith's debauchery continues to haunt his widow, Pam. The Tao of Pam finds Pam at a crossroad which will take her to the next phase of her life, offering her choices she didn't want to make. Her children, Brent and Lisa, move on, dealing with their own life choices, as one by one, they all come down off their pedestals.
#7 In Memoriam In Memoriam begins with the birth of a baby boy to Pam’s former boyfriend, Dan and daughter, Lisa. Still reeling from the death of her beloved son Brent, Pam endures life at the beach with remarkable strength, while meeting a new man. Could this be her next husband? Sandra tries to balance several versions of her life while striving to be part of the Smith legacy. Lisa rises above circumstances that would destroy most, with determination.
But don't be too relieved; history does have a way of repeating itself.
We’re Just Friends Short Story Prequel to Soulmates Book #8 A short story to fill in details after Book #7 In Memoriam and before Book #8 Soulmates. Events occur that the reader may want to know about, but Jason and Sandra do their best to keep hidden.
~ ~ ~
The Greeks of Beaubien Street is the first book in The Greektown Trilogy. Although it may be read as a stand-alone novel, character development is on the continuum of all the books in the series.
Nestled below the skyline of Detroit you’ll find Greektown, a few short blocks of colorful bliss, warm people and Greek food. In spite of growing up immersed in the safety of her family and their rich culture, Jill Zannos doesn’t fit in. A Detroit homicide detective, she manages to keep one foot planted firmly in the traditions started by her grandparents, while the other navigates the most devastated neighborhoods in the city she can’t help but love. She is a no-nonsense workaholic with no girlfriends, an odd boyfriend who refuses to grow up, and an uncanny intuition, inherited from her mystic grandmother that acts as her secret weapon to crime-solving success. Her story winds around tales of her family and their secret-laden history, while she investigates the most despicable murder of her career.
The Greeks of Beaubien Street is a modern tale of a family grounded in old world, sometimes archaic, tradition as they seek acceptance in American society. They could be any nationality, but they are Greek.
The Princess of Greektown
Thirty years ago, Terry Smith was Detroit's top news anchor. She set the standard for excellence in investigative journalism, staying at the news desk long after her time should have been over. Just as Terry's son-in-law is murdered in the city, Detective Jill Zannos faces upheaval in her own life. A new man, family intrigue and the dregs of the last case she investigated becomes the lowest priority as she and her partner Albert untangle the mess of Terry Smith and her family.
Christmas in Greektown
As Christmastime approaches, the family prepares for another get-together in Greektown. Relationships blossom and some end during the hardest time of the year. But as Jill and others discover, when one door closes, another opens, often with more wonderful opportunities.
~ ~ ~
Alice’s Summertime Adventure
We meet Alice Bradshaw when she is at a crossroad. She’s just beaten cancer and is suddenly unsure of what her next move should be. Looking back on where she’s been and what the future may hold, she knows she needs to make a big change in her life. Then her car dies on the highway after an argument with her daughter. Dave, a stranger on a motorcycle, pulls alongside her and saves the day. He offers Alice a chance at adventure. She jumps on it, much to the dismay of her children. The adventure starts a chain of events that will have Alice and her children, as well as Dave, questioning every aspect of their lives. There will be a few casualties along the way, a lot of anger, life changes and a few shocking surprises. Alice’s Summertime Adventure is the story of an average American family as they struggle with dilemmas we all have, and making choices that aren’t for everyone.
The Savant of Chelsea
In the French Quarter of New Orleans, the birth of a baby to a mentally ill woman marks the beginning of life for The Savant of Chelsea. An abusive childhood segues to the operating rooms of the largest medical center in New York as a gifted but unbalanced brain surgeon waits for just the right time to redeem her past. In the end, she takes matters into her own hands. The reader will decide what happens after the climax.
Contains explicit sexual themes.
The Liberation of Ravenna Morton Ravenna Morton is an American Indian woman living a very old-fashioned life in a primitive cabin at the edge of the Kalamazoo River. Facing modern problems when her lifelong affair with a Greek artist is closely examined by their children after a child she gave up for adoption dies, The Liberation of Ravenna Morton captures the small-town dynamic of a family's private secrets being exposed to the world. A poignant look at the melding of two Americanized cultures observed under a microscope. Adult content.
Atlas of Women A Collection of Short Stories
Women are the heart of the home. (Unless it’s a home with a man as the heart!) This volume is about women. The stories are a melding of truth from my own experiences and fiction created from both observation and fantasy.
Mademoiselle, a novella, started out as young adult genre. But as I wrote, Philipa grew up into a young woman who found her way after a short detour, choosing the more difficult path.
The Golden Boy ended up exactly as I imagined it would. A family deals with a loved one’s mental illness with love and support, but when there is no longer any hope for normalcy, prayer and grace allow them to step aside.
Tribute to a Dead Friend is my tribute to every woman who’s lost a close friend but continues to be inspired and comforted by her spirit.
A Night Encounter, currently published on Amazon, is a short story about regrets and self-forgiveness. A daughter's disrespect borne of sibling rivalry comes back to haunt her in a most unusual and gentle way. As in every work, there are elements of truth in the story, but it is pure fiction. I spent time in my garden last summer, convinced my late mother was there with me. It was a very therapeutic and comforting experience.
Vapors, selected to appear in Willow Review 2013, is a fantasy in which a wife discovers a way to make her presence known after her husband reveals a painful secret.
SuzanneJenkins.net
Go back to Contents
Table of Contents
Summer
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
/> Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Fall
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Author’s Notes
Also by Suzanne Jenkins
Soulmates Page 26