by DRAYER, GINA
In that quiet moment, Matt knew what they shared was special. It was more than just explosive sexual chemistry or a trivial holiday romance. This connection could blossom into something they could build a lifetime on.
He sent the email and logged off his computer, vowing not to open it again until he was back home. These last few days they had together were too precious, and he wasn't going to waste the time they had left.
It was still early. Well, early when compared to their normal late night schedule, but they'd both had a long day. Trying hard not to disturb her, Matt gathered Beth up and tucked her in bed. He was just as whipped as she was. After stripping down to his underwear, Matt settled in beside Beth, pulling her into his arms. They'd sleep for now.
He woke up hours later when an elbow smacked him in the face and Beth mumbled something incoherent about water pressure. The woman was wrapped, cocoon style in all the covers with his pillow tucked under her cheek, and he realized, not only was she a restless, sleep talking bed-hog, she was also a blanket thief.
He gave the covers a hard tug to disentangle her, and discovered she'd gotten up sometime in the night and disrobed. Under all those covers, Beth was gloriously nude. He looked longingly at a perk nipple before rolling over to look at the clock. It was a little after four in the morning, still too early to get up, but his cock didn't care what time it was.
She was curled on her side, with her dark hair cascading across the pillow behind her. Most of Beth's face was cuddled into the pillow she'd stolen. He reached out a finger and traced the soft curve of her jaw.
She stirred again and wriggled into his side, searching for warmth now that the blankets were gone. Her naked, firm ass pushed back against his growing arousal, and brought his cock to full attention.
"Are you up?' she mumbled, sleepily. The husky sound was outrageously sexy.
"You could say that. But it's still early," he said, trying to ignore the increasing desire to shift positions so he could rub his painfully hard dick between the cleft of her ass. He brushed her throat with a kiss. "You should go back to sleep."
Her lips curved into a smile, heavy lashes fluttering over her still-closed eyes. Much to his surprise, she ground her bottom against his hard-on.
"Make me," she whispered.
Well fuck, he could handle an elbow in the face every night if it meant waking up to this. To her protesting whimpers, Matt rolled away, but just to get a condom. With the task complete, he shifted and was buried deep inside her. He might be willing to give up sleep all together if this was his reward.
Later that morning, after some more hot sex and a few more hours of sleep, Beth woke him with a kiss. The small cabin space was flooded with the morning light, and the sight of her cast in hues of gold as she pushed her sleep-mussed hair out of her face was dazzling. She was wrapped around him, still naked and Matt couldn't think of any place he'd rather be.
"Good you're awake," she said and shifted up to face him. "Do you feel up for a swim?"
Poking out from the covers, Matt could see her long leg tucked between his and he watched as she lightly stroked her foot up and down his calf. The movement captivated him and he completely lost focus on what she was saying.
Beth tapped a finger on his chest. "Matt? Where you listening to me?" She sounded impatient, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. The hand left his chest and traced a path down his side. "I was just saying, if we're just going to get hot and sweaty, why not have a swim when we're done? So, are you up for that?"
"Sure," he said slowly as his sleep dazed mind worked to take everything in. He should have been satiated after the previous day's activities, but Matt was looking forward to getting sweaty with her all over again. He moved to kiss her, one of the many things he really enjoyed doing, but before he could capture her lips, she sat up.
"Awesome," she said, clapping her hands together. "I'll change into some shorts and we can grab a quick bite to eat on our way. Maybe some fruit or yogurt. Something light before the yoga class."
Before he could process her words, she hopped out of bed and pulled open the drawer where she'd put her things. She tossed a couple things on the bed, then shimmied into a pair of underwear. Matt again let his mind wander as he watched her dress, mourning the loss of his view.
"If we hurry we can make the early class and not have to deal with the crowds. Not many people are up at this hour. Hopefully we'll have the class all to ourselves."
He'd obviously been at a disadvantage waking up to her naked body in his arms, because he agreed to something before the cobwebs cleared completely.
"What?"
"The yoga class," she said and pulled on a shirt.
She was completely dressed now, but Matt was pretty sure he could get her undressed and under him in just a few seconds.
"Matt!" Beth tossed his shirt at him. "I knew you weren't listening. We can't stay in bed all day again. There are still some things I want to do that involve us being dressed, so keep your mind PG."
"It's still early. I think we have time for some NC-17 fun," he said, patting the bed.
Beth flopped beside him and smacked his bare leg. "If I don't take a break and get some sustenance, I'm going to get cranky. But maybe if you play your cards right, we can have a little afternoon delight." She pushed away his roaming hands and sat up. "I mean it. Let's get out of this room."
Matt reluctantly climbed out of bed, heading toward the bathroom. "Fine. But I'm holding you to that."
After their workout and lazing by the pool for most the morning, she did make good on the promise. Unfortunately, their day dissolved into night, and the next day passed with blinding speed.
The last night on the ship was the hardest. In the back of his mind, Matt wanted to slow down, savor these last hours with her in this magical bubble they'd created. But he was overwhelmed with a sense of urgency.
That night, his touch was just a little harder. He kissed her just a little longer, pushed her just a little further. He wanted to believe that they had all the time in the world to explore each other's bodies, but in reality, they were out of time.
They'd dock in Barcelona in the morning and he didn't know what would happen when they left the ship. Yes, she was here now in his arms, but what they had was tenuous. The second they stepped off the boat everything would change. Too many things were left unsaid, and he wanted to push her for a solid commitment, but Matt worried their fragile love would shatter in his hands if he held on too tight.
Into the early hours of the next morning, Matt held Beth in his arms, fingering the smooth wood of the necklace nestled between her breasts and just listening to her steady breaths as she slept. Here in the dark, he knew one thing for sure; he couldn't let her go. From that first meeting on the plane, Matt had known Beth was different. She wasn't the type of woman you walked away from without leaving a piece of yourself behind.
Chapter 18
Modern Girl Tip #18: Endings—Just because it's short affair doesn't mean it's easy to say goodbye. But if you took our advice and spelled out your expectations at the beginning, you can keep the "good" in goodbye.
Beth kept drifting in and out of a fitful sleep, knowing what came next. Matt's flight was leaving the same day they docked, so they were going to say their goodbyes at the port. Or at least, that's what he had planned.
Beth knew she was going to break things off before he'd asked her to stay the night with him. She knew staying with him was a bad idea. Hell, she knew it was the worst thing she could possibly do to herself. But after going over every possible outcome, she decided giving Matt these last two days would make it easier.
He thought he wanted a relationship with her, but in truth, he didn't know what he was getting into. No one she knew in her line of work was in a long term relationship. The ones that tried either left the field or got their hearts broken. Look at her parent's marriage. They started out strong, but it still ended in disaster. And even if she ignored the trail of heartache that her
co-workers left in their paths, all Beth had to do was look at her own disastrous relationship with Robert.
But the real difference this time was she cared. Beth had fallen for Matt in a big way, and the longer they stayed together the harder it would get when things finally fell apart. And they would fall apart. Only by the time that happened, she'd be too far gone not be devastated.
Losing him now was hard enough, but it would kill her later. Until Beth figured out what she wanted, figured out if she wanted to build a life with him back in Chicago or if she needed to stay the world traveling aid worker who had no real home, she'd never be the right woman for him. At the very least she needed time. She had a job to do after the wedding, and when that was finished, maybe things would be different.
The trouble was that Matt was already invested, and he was the type of man who'd push the issue if she'd simply told him she needed time. And she couldn't tell him she wasn't interested. He'd already called her on that lie. Leaving like this was the only way to ensure he wouldn't come after her, and the distance would help her think.
While she never said she'd give him anything more than these blissful days, the commitment was implied when she stayed the night with him. It killed her to know that he'd be hurt by her betrayal. She just hoped that, when the dust finally settled, Matt wouldn't hate her.
Beth slipped out of bed before the sun was up, careful not to wake him and dressed quietly. They'd packed the night before and set the bags in the hall to be collected by the staff, so the only thing she had to take with her was her purse.
Before she left, Beth scrawled a simple note. "I'm sorry" was all it said. There wasn't anything else to say. And then on impulse, she untied the leather strap of her necklace and placed it atop the note. She wouldn't blame him if he threw it out, but she couldn't slip away without leaving something of herself behind.
She'd marked all her bags for early delivery and caught a cab at the port. She gave the driver Michael and Ana's address and waited until the ship disappeared behind tall buildings before she turned around. All the while, fighting the burning sting of unshed tears.
She wouldn't cry. She couldn't, because if she started, Beth was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to stop.
It wouldn't matter what she decided after Costa Rica. Matt would hate her for leaving like this. But wasn't that the point? She needed him to hate her, because once they got home, if he called her up, came to see her, anything, Beth would cave.
Michael was waiting for her at the curb and he knew right away that something was wrong. "Beth, you look out of sorts," he said, picking up her bag. "What's wrong, love?"
She looked back the direction the cab had taken, back to the ship, and sighed. "I was up early this morning. I just need some sleep."
"Bullocks," he cursed, his English accent coming out strong. "You don't look tired, love; you look like you're hurting. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Come on up to the flat and Ana will get you sorted." He picked up her bags and whisked her upstairs.
Upon entering, her cousin Ana immediately declared her unfit for their outing she'd planned for Beth's first night in Spain. "I'm going to keep you in and baby you all night," Ana said, setting a fresh cup of coffee in front of Beth. "Honestly, you look horrid. Are you sure you're feeling well?"
"Thanks, Ana. There's that tact I missed so much. Too bad Michael's British manners didn't rubbed off on you," Beth replied, trying to keep the mood light, but she wasn't even fooling herself. She shrugged, trying to make light of her heartbreak. "It was a long trip."
"Long trip, huh? Michael dear, why don't you go down to the bistro and pick up something for lunch." Ana gave him a quick kiss and shooed him out the door. After pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee, Ana down on the small love seat next to Beth and sipped thoughtfully, while giving her a good once over. "I'm not buying it. The next thing you'll be telling me is that stricken look and those red puffy eyes have nothing to do with that man you mentioned in your emails."
"It was just a fling. Some fun while on vacation. He was great, but we both knew it wasn't going to last. It's better this way. You know I'm leaving for Costa Rica. I don't need another man waiting for me to come home."
"Oh, Beth, I love you. You are truly Uncle Luis's daughter. Just like him, you're brilliant and giving, but you're stupid when it comes to matters of the heart. You might say it was just a fling, but you've shown up on our doorstep broken hearted. I just hope you didn't do anything you'll regret later."
"I'll admit, I'm not happy with how I left things, but I'd hardly call it broken hearted." No, broken hearted was far too mild a term for what Beth was feeling. She was raw. But Beth couldn't linger on what might have been. She needed to move forward. "I'm just really tired. I didn't sleep well last night. Give me a day and I'll be right as rain. You'll see."
"You know I'm only worried about you. You didn't say a word after that asshole dumped you and then turned around and proposed to your sister. But you've looked like a kicked puppy ever since you walked through that door. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"Matt was special. But I'll move on. I always do." She put on her best smile and wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, Ana or herself.
"I get it. You don't want to talk," Ana said, picking up the empty cups and taking them to the kitchen. "I'm here when you need me, but until you're ready I have lots of Sangria to help pass the time."
Matt woke at four in the morning with a pounding headache. Jet lag was a bitch. He'd been back in Chicago for almost a week and his sleep schedule was still screwed up.
At least that's what he kept telling himself. It had nothing to do with the raging hard-on the lingering dream of Beth had brought, or the ache in his soul.
Fuck! He needed to stop obsessing about her. It was his own damn fault he was tied in knots. She'd been clear from the start that she was just looking for a good time. It may have taken him a long time, but he'd gotten the message, loud and clear.
His apartment felt unnaturally empty after his trip. The soft light from the city flooded his bedroom through the floor to ceiling windows and he didn't bother to turn on the lights as he shuffled to the bathroom. There was no way he was going to tempt sleep again, and tempt seeing her in his dreams. He had plenty of work piled up from his trip to keep his mind occupied and out of his empty bed.
With a pot of coffee started, he logged onto his laptop. Waiting for him like a live bomb was an email from Holly with "Photos" in the subject line. He hadn't said anything to his family. Beth had talked often enough about meeting her cousin in Spain and about her next assignment out of the country. It was as good as any explanation for her absence and his sour mood on the trip home. His family made their assumptions, and that was fine with him. The less he had to explain the better.
But not telling them she was gone for good meant they kept bringing Beth up, and now, sending him photos. Every bit the masochist, Matt clicked on the paper clip and opened the attached album. There she was in full color and not just the faded memory he'd conjured in his sleep. There were photos of her with his niece and nephew at the pool, with his mom at dinner, and the photo they'd taken at the anniversary party. He immediately dragged the photos to the recycle bin and deleted the email. He'd tell them tomorrow. Perhaps, if he actually said they were over out loud, Matt would finally stop obsessing about her. Not likely, but he needed to try something.
After finishing off a pot of coffee and staring, unmotivated at the project files his assistant Kim had put together, Matt packed up and went into the office. Sitting alone wasn't doing anything for his peace of mind, so maybe interacting with his colleagues would help.
About an hour after he'd arrived, Peter knocked on his door. "How are you progressing on the Abode files?"
Matt looked up from his monitor and frowned. He'd just spent the last half hour meticulously tweaking the hexadecimal color code on the landing page, trying to capture the exact shade of blue Beth had worn their first night t
ogether.
"Go the fuck away, Peter." Matt pulled the slider all the way to the right, deciding the page should be green instead. "I'm not some intern you need to keep harassing every thirty minutes. I told you I'd have it done by Friday, and it will be done."
Holding up his hands, Peter walked into the room. "Fine. I won't ask again, but man, you need to check the attitude. You've been an asshole since you got back. This isn't like you. Even Kim is afraid to step into your office these last few days. Something on your mind?"
Peter was one of his best friends, but Matt wasn't ready to talk about it. Not with the wound so fresh. "Nah, I'm sorry. Two weeks with my family," he said, by way of explanation.
"So you're telling me this doesn't have anything to do with this girlfriend your sister thinks you have?"
"What? When did you talk to Holly?" he asked, glaring at Peter over the monitor. "Why the hell was she asking you about Beth?"
"She was looking for this Beth's email address. Evidently, there were some pictures of some shit. You should know that not answering your sister's calls isn't going to stop her. I'm not as brave as you. There was no way I was going to send her call to voicemail. That woman scares me," he said, settling into the office chair across from him. "Next time it would be great if you give me a heads up."
"Fuck. What did you tell her?"
"I told her you don't bring Beth around the office because you were afraid my manly charms would cause her to fall madly in love with me and leave your sorry ass."
"And what did you tell her when she stopped laughing hysterically?"
"She believed me. Actually, she didn't seem surprised that I had no idea who she was talking about." Peter pause a heartbeat and then pressed the issue. "So you going to clue me in or what?"