by DRAYER, GINA
Beth sat up and tucked the sheet around her, feeling for the first time uncomfortable. "What's with the sudden interest in my ex? Things ended well over a year ago. It was probably over long before then. I just didn't notice. I don't see how it matters why we ended it."
"I'm trying to understand you, Beth. I want to know what happened with this Robert guy that has you closed off. Did he cheat on you?"
"No. It wasn't like that." She flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. This day was a rollercoaster of emotions. "The simple truth of the matter was he wanted more. He wanted a wife and a family. He was ready to settle down and didn't need the convenient lay anymore."
"Fuck. Is that what he told you? If that's what he thought about you, then he didn't deserve you."
"He didn't say it, but it's still the truth. But trust me it was mutual."
Matt pulled her into his arms, as if trying to shield her from the pain. The fact that he was so outraged on her behalf was nice. And in that moment, with Matt holding her, the past hurt a little less. The more she reflected on their relationship, the more she knew it wasn't meant to be. Sophia and Robert would be happy together. Sure, Thanksgiving was going to be awkward since her sister's new husband was a man she used to sleep with, but maybe if she let someone like Matt in, Beth wouldn't have to face it alone.
"He did start seeing someone else. Actually, I was the one who encouraged him to start taking her to hospital functions and events when I couldn't make it home." She relaxed back against his chest. If Matt wanted the truth, she was going to let him have it all. "I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he eventually asked Sophia to marry him."
"What? Sophia, your sister? The one who's getting married in a few weeks? Married to you ex-boyfriend?"
"Yep, that's the one." There, it was out in the open now, and Beth was surprised how relieved she was to tell him the whole sordid tale. It felt as if a weight had been lifted from her. "Sounds like a soap opera, doesn't it? I wanted to be mad at first, but they're perfect together. She really is his better half."
"And you're going to the wedding?"
"I'm even a bridesmaid. You remember that blue dress I wore to your parents' party? It's my bridesmaid's dress. I hope I can get that thing cleaned or Sophia's going to kill me."
It was Matt's turn to roll onto his back and stare at the ceiling. He seemed to be digesting all the information she'd spewed out there. And as the silence stretched out between them, Beth was dying to know what was going on in that head of his. Fearing the answer, she didn't dare ask. But as the seconds ticked by, she couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Holly told me you've never brought a girlfriend home to meet the family. I'm surprised. I can't believe a sexy guy like you has never had a girlfriend." She leaned up on her elbow to look him in the eye and gave him her best knowing look, trying to lighten the mood again. "Let me guess. You were the love 'em and leave 'em type. There are probably a string of broken hearted women back in Chicago."
He laughed. "Nothing so nefarious. I've been focused on my work, and before that, school. Sure, I've had my share of flings, but it's always been mutual."
"Kind of like us?"
"No. Not like us." His voice was strained, laced with emotion he no longer attempted to hide. He reached up and pulled her into a slow demanding kiss that stole her breath. When he pulled away, breathless, he held her in his dark gaze. "Christ, Beth, you have to know that this hasn't been just a fling for a while now."
Before she had time to catch her breath, he flipped Beth over on her back and kissed his way down her belly, lingering to nibble at her navel while his fingers stroked and caressed her sex. When his mouth joined his dexterous fingers, Beth nearly came off the bed. With merciless intent, he probed and lavished every secret, wet, and tender place until she was ready to burst open and spill all her pent up desires.
He devoured her, giving her his undivided attention. It made her feel worshipped, adored. It took her a minute to realize that the keening sound that filled the room was coming from her own throat as she lost the ability to speak. And, as if she wasn't already in too deep, Beth felt another piece of her heart melt.
They dressed for dinner. After their talk, there was an unspoken agreement not to bring up the past or the future. At least for now. They only had three more nights together, and Matt wanted to spend every second of them with her.
And he was still determined that they wouldn't be the last. The day spent naked with Beth in bed only solidified his resolve. Everything about her was perfect, from the way she melted in his arms to her passion to her humor. He was going to convince her to give them a chance; it was just a matter of how.
"We don't have to go to dinner." Matt grabbed the waistband of Beth's jeans and pulled her into his arms. Kissing her still bare shoulder, he whispered, "We could order room service. Maybe get some whipped cream."
She closed her eyes for a second and let out a hum of approval. Then shook her head, as if trying to clear her mind, and pulled out of his grasp. "While that sounds fun, we really need to do something that doesn't involve a bed."
"The sofa looks sturdy."
Beth pulled on a shirt and turned around, frowning. "God, you're insatiable," she chided. "Let's have dinner. Maybe see the show. After that, we can go back to your room for a little dessert."
She started to head toward the door, but Matt stepped in her path. "One condition," he said. "We can leave the room, if you stay with me tonight."
"Matt, I—"
He stopped her words with a kiss. Pulling back, he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her dark, questioning eyes.
"I heard you today. You're unsure about taking this beyond this trip. But that's why I want you to stay. We don't have much time left, so for what little time we do have left, let's act like a real couple. Not for my family, but for us. Then when the time comes, we can talk about where we want to take it. Give it a chance, Beth. We've got nothing to lose."
Nothing except his heart. Matt still wasn't sure if this was the right move. But the time away from her made him realize one thing, if he just walked away, thoughts of what might have been would always haunt him. He was going all in, even if it backfired.
They made their way down to dinner, silently. After all the revelations that afternoon, the silence was nice. Holly greeted Beth with an uncustomary amount of enthusiasm, and patted the seat next to her. They started in on a discussion about the spa treatment Holly had scheduled, and Matt moved around the table to take the seat directly across from them, between his mother and Uncle Terry.
Noticeably absent were Jason, Bridget, and Kitty.
He bent down and kissed his mom and nodded to the open chairs. "Where's everyone?"
"Jason and the girls took the earlier seating. Something about a show," she said, giving a little shrug. "It's not like we have to be together for every meal. There are only a few more nights left. I told them to go have fun. Anyways, this gives me more time to spend with you and Beth."
Terry leaned over and whispered, "After your little make out session this morning, you have to know your mother is hoping for a spring wedding."
"Don't even go there," Matt said and elbowed Terry. Hell, at this point he'd be satisfied if she'd just agree to a date. If his family started talking about weddings, Beth would likely run for the hills and never look back.
Dinner continued on in its usual chaotic manner. Even with a smaller crowd, it seemed like twelve conversations were going on at once. It was usually this point in the meal when Matt started to sink into the background, unable to deal with the whiplash inducing back and forth.
But tonight he was mesmerized by Beth. She navigated the conversations with the skill of a seasoned ring master, participating in several conversations without missing a beat and even prompting him occasionally for comment. And that was it right there. With Beth, it wasn't just the sex or the adventurous woman who'd caught his eye, it was the whole package. As corny as it might sound,
she was a perfect fit for him.
Beth got up and helped Holly take the twins to the bathroom to clean them up before dessert. He watched her go, holding his nephew in his arms, and Matt could see the next ten years play out in his mind. Every minute included her.
"She's a wonderful girl," his mom said in a low voice when she caught him staring.
"I think so, too."
"Does that mean you're going to see her after this trip?"
He looked around the table quickly to see if anyone else heard, then turned back to his mom. "I don't know what you mean. Beth's my girlfriend."
"I wasn't born yesterday, dear. I know she's not your girlfriend."
"Mom, I— "
"Don't. I don't care. But I was hoping she would be around after this cruise. I've never seen you this enamored with a young lady before. She's good for you. Don't let her get away."
"I'm not planning to."
"Well, I think I'm going to skip dessert," she said to the table. She turned to Dad, beckoning him to get her chair. "Why don't we head up to the deck. I hear they are doing another movie tonight. If we hurry, dear, we won't miss the opening credits this time."
Chapter 17
Modern Girl Tip #17: Honesty Is the Best Policy—Don't make promises you don't intend to keep—to him or to yourself. Your fling might not be the man you're planning to marry, but he's still a human being. It's easy to get carried away in the moment and say things you don't mean. Don't lead him on or overestimate your commitment to the relationship.
"Stay with me tonight," Matt whispered in her ear as they left dinner.
It was a simple request, but those four words held an entire conversation. Even when Matt said he wanted to continue their relationship after the cruise, he hadn't asked her to make a decision. But when he was asking her to stay the night, that's exactly what he was doing.
He'd made his feelings perfectly clear, and Beth knew what she needed to do. It was selfish, but she wasn't ready to change things. Not yet. She wanted to hold on to this fragile happiness they'd found in each other's arms; if just for a while longer. But as much as she wanted to keep things the same, Beth could tell the uncertainty of their situation was eating away at Matt.
Closing her eyes, she sighed. Time was up. She couldn't keep him hanging. "Let me stop at my cabin and get a few things. I'll meet you back at your room in a couple minutes."
She went alone to her room, trying to talk herself out of what she was about to do. Even though her mind was made up, she knew deep down it was a mistake. She was leaving for Costa Rica in less than a month. They didn't have a chance to make it work. It would be kinder to both of them if she just ended it now instead of letting thing get even deeper. But she couldn't let go.
With her stomach in knots, Beth shoved a few things in a bag, including a change of clothes, and headed back upstairs. She'd gone to his room what seemed like dozens of times, but not like this. This time they weren't playing a part. This time it was for real.
Using the key to get into the private concierge level, Beth ran into the last person she wanted to see. Kitty eyed the bag she was carrying, and Beth braced herself for a confrontation. But much to her surprise, Kitty just rolled her eyes and walked by.
But not before she lobbed one last jab, "Enjoy him while you can. It won't last. He might not want me, but I'm sure he'll be bored with you before fall."
Beth had to stifle a hysterical giggle. Kitty put to words Beth's biggest fear. Over the last few days she went from just wanting Matt to wanting a real relationship with him. And just like Kitty, Beth didn't believe it would last. He wanted her now, and that was something she could give him.
Beth quietly entered Matt's suite, resolute in her choice. She'd been gone for less than an hour, but Matt was in the middle of a video call, so she tip-toed past him to the bathroom to put up her toothbrush and some of her toiletries.
"Hang on a sec," Matt said to the monitor. Turning around, he called to her. "Sorry. This couldn't wait. I'll just be a few more minutes. Make yourself comfortable. Order some wine from room service, and I'll join you out on the deck."
She nodded in silent agreement and waved him back to his call. He returned to the conversation, and Beth leaned against the door frame and watched him. She could almost imagine this was what it would be like back in Chicago. She'd stop by his apartment and open some wine while he finished up work. They'd talk about their day before falling into bed. It was a tempting fantasy.
Shaking off the thought, she tossed her bag on the bed and stepped out on the veranda, but not before she caught the questions coming from the laptop.
"Is she why you've been avoiding my emails?"
"That's none of your fucking business, jackass. I'm supposed to be on vacation. Now, let's get back to the issue so I can get off this call. Give the file to Kim and she can start the mock ups. She's good or I wouldn't have hired her. I'll send her an email outline of what needs to be done."
"But the client wants you."
"I'll be back in four days. I can do the finishing touches on the design before the deadline. But only if Kim starts things. If I have to piecemeal something together from my laptop it's going to look like shit. Kim can get the ball rolling and I'll finish the design. And Simon, for the love of God, don't let Peter promise anymore clients we can do rush jobs until I get back. Now, as you noticed, I have plans tonight. Don't call me again unless the office is on fire."
The temperature was cooling off after the warm day. Beth leaned against the railing, closed her eyes, and inhaled the salty air. The sound of the water beating the hull of the ship was hypnotic, and she lost herself in the rhythmic pulse while Matt finished up. She could spend all night listening to that sound. It was peaceful, and she could use a little peace right about now.
Matt joined her, pulling Beth out of the trance she'd fallen into. Without ceremony, he greeted her with a kiss. In that moment, he made her feel like she was the only woman in the world he wanted to kiss. And she returned the kiss with equal abandon, trying to memorize every action, every sound, and every taste. Trying to fuse this memory in her mind forever.
"I don't think I'll ever get enough of kissing you," he said, pulling back. "And while I'd love to have my way with you right here, today was exhausting. Do you mind if we just relax in front of the TV for a while?"
Beth laughed. "You mean after all this time, you finally talk me into staying the whole night and you want to watch TV? Why Matt Carver, how very domestic."
Matt slid a hand under the back of her shirt and traced the edge of her jeans. "I promise to do all sorts of base things to you later," he whispered in her ear before biting it gently, "but right now I need to turn my brain off."
The delicious things he was doing with his tongue along her collarbone was setting her nerves on fire. And it wasn't hard to imagine all the things they'd do tonight, but there was something in his tone that was off. When Beth finally managed to drag her thoughts off his roaming mouth and focused on the conversation, she pulled away to get a good look at him. Matt looked exhausted, and she started to worry.
"What's wrong? You said something about a problem at work earlier. Don't let me keep you if you have something you need to do. You don't need to entertain me. I'm a big girl." She ran her hand along his jaw and kissed him reassuringly. "And don't worry, I promise not to leave."
"It's nothing that can't wait." He sighed and slumped against the rail beside her. The swift sea breeze whipped his hair, making him look a little wild and on edge. "We have a client that needs a rush job. They just purchased into a new line and Peter, one of the partners, promised them the moon, assuming I'd take time from my vacation to work on the project."
"And if I wasn't here?" Beth prompted. "Would you be working on it?"
He at least considered the question before shrugging it off. "But you are here. I've got it handled for now, and I'm on vacation. Fuck, I haven't taken a vacation or even had a sick day since we opened four years ago."
> "So you used to take vacations often?" Beth asked unable to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. She'd bet good money that he hadn't taken a vacation since he was a kid.
"You think you've got me pegged, don't you?" He chuckled at her ribbing and pushed off the rail.
"Tell you what," she said, walking back into the room and to the bed. "Why don't you take care of that email. I have my book. I'm just a couple chapters away from the end and I really want to find out what happens. Then we can watch TV, go to bed, or do something else. I'm yours for the night."
Between their messy talk, the sex, the angry email from the client, and the conference call, the day had been a rollercoaster of emotions. But it was all worth it to have Beth curled up on the sofa reading while he worked. They didn't talk. She read her book, sipping the wine they'd ordered, while he typed up notes for his assistant.
She was right. It was very domestic. He couldn't get over the fact that Beth agreed to stay, even though he knew this was one of the nights she had some activity circled on her itinerary (karaoke if he remembered right).
But that was the thing about Beth, despite her assertion that they were destined to fail, it was incredibly easy to be with her. Most of the women he'd dated over the years would have thrown a fit at the sudden change in plans, or at the very least pouted for the rest of the night. That alone was reason enough to try this out back home.
He could understand her hesitance about bringing their relationship back to their real lives. Matt hadn't been lying when he told her he didn't have time to date. Being an owner of a successful, albeit small, marketing firm meant lots of late nights and unplanned work. In the past he found it a hassle keeping up with a relationship, but it would be worth the extra effort for Beth.
It took Matt a few hours to finish his work. Beth had fallen asleep wrapped up in a blanket with her head resting on his lap. He found himself idly stroking her hair as he finished the last details on the email. He didn't intend to watch her sleep. In truth, he could barely see her with only the low light coming from his laptop to illuminate the room, but he found himself glancing at her nonetheless.