A few days after the incident, I called Xavier and asked him to meet me at our usual spot.
“You’re an ass you know that?” I said grimly, eyeing him from behind my eyebrows. I was so angry and determined to let him hear it.
Xavier looked very apologetic. “I’m sorry man. It was a bad joke. I know you never saw her as a casual hookup. I overstepped. It won’t happen again.”
I was taken aback by his reaction and as much as I wanted to go off on him, I couldn’t stay mad. I knew he felt responsible for what had happened.
“I just wish I could explain it to her. She’s been MIA ever since and there’s no way for me to contact her because I don’t have her phone number.”
“I really hope you two can mend things. I feel really guilty. You can blame me for the whole thing.” He grimaced. “But make sure you bring her to the wedding if you guys make up. I’ll apologize to her in person. I insist.”
I promised to do so and we finished our beers, going over some business stuff before heading off.
The next few days went by excruciatingly slow. Everywhere I turned I kept imagining seeing her and almost called out her name on multiple occasions. But it was never her. I tried my best to focus on my work and hoped that the universe would give me a chance to make it right.
Two weeks after Amelia had kicked me out, I decided I couldn’t take it any longer. I had been trying to work all morning, but my thoughts kept escaping back to her. She was obviously avoiding me and the only way for me to try to get a chance to explain was to confront her. Just like I had done in the beginning when she had kissed me out of the blue. I snapped my laptop shut and shuffled out of the door, making my way up the steps to theirs. I knocked on their door, feeling determined and apologetic at the same time. A few seconds later, it opened.
“Hello handsome,” Janis purred. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Loud music was playing from inside the house and she was swaying along to it with a wine glass in her hand.
“Um, I just heard a loud noise and came to check that everything is okay,” I lied.
“That must have been the music darling,” she winked. “But I’m open to any other suggestions that may produce loud noises,” Janis’ eyes flashed as she took a sip of her wine.
Not again.
I cleared my throat. “Isn’t your daughter home?” I asked, attempting to sound nonchalant.
Janis eyed me up and down. “Smart thinking, I can indeed get a bit loud at times..at least when the right buttons are pushed,” she smirked before continuing. “But there’s no need to worry. She’s in Florida. On that note, would you like to come in?”
I shook my head a little too forcefully. “Oh, no thank you. I just wanted to make sure everything is alright. Have a good night Mrs. Foster,” I said and turned around, heading back home.
“It’s Miss! And Janis for you,” I heard her scream exasperatedly.
That had been another no-go. Amelia was gone and probably had been almost immediately after she had seen the text. I just hoped she was coming back: I wasn’t sure if I could ever forgive myself otherwise. She had trusted me with her mind and body: she had given me something no other man would ever get to have. And I had ruined it for her. I had turned something that was supposed to be a positive experience into something that was corrupt and negative. I had really messed up.
ANOTHER WEEK PASSED, and with time, the feeling of hopelessness turned more dooming than before. The whole situation seemed unnervingly bleak. I was becoming doubtful that Amelia would ever come back and if she did, forgiving me would be the last thing on her mind.
The day had been just like the others before: they all seemed to blur into everlasting melancholy. I was biking home from work, working up a sweat. Lately, cycling had been my only outlet: it was the one thing that helped me feel a little bit better about myself. Most likely it was because every time I did it, I went so hard that my legs cramped up from the lactic acid. The punishment felt sweet: the pain seemed to relieve some of the emotional one I was feeling. And I would have chosen physical pain over emotional one any day of the week.
As I came to a stop a dozen feet away from my house, a cab pulled over in front of it. Then, all of a sudden, a head of dark brown hair emerged from inside of it.
My mouth fell open—it was her. She looked a little different though: her skin was deeply tanned, her hair appeared lighter and her figure looked more...slight. She still had her curves but they were definitely a little less pronounced. Had I caused that? Instant guilt clouded my mind. She had obviously been so hurt by my actions it had affected her both mentally and physically.
I paced towards her as fast as I could, gripping my bike, just as she pulled her bags from the trunk.
“Amelia,” I gasped, amazed that she was really standing before me.
She spun around with her eyebrows raised and looked very apprehensive. She turned back to her bags, not giving me a single word.
“Please, let me at least help you with the bags,” I said apologetically and hurried to carry my bike inside. I practically threw it out of my hands before rushing back to her.
To my surprise, she was still standing on the curb and the cab had already taken off. I reached for her bags and she led me to her door, then opened it and I slipped the bags inside. Just as she was about to disappear inside after them, I panicked.
“Please, Amelia. Please. Hear me out,” I begged.
I could hear the tremble in my voice. I’d missed her so much and now she was finally here but she wouldn’t even look at me, let alone speak to me.
After a long moment, she turned to face me. “What do you want Lucas? I’m sorry, I don’t think I have any more virginities to give. Better find a new conquest. A sick game you’re playing,” she said and her words were like little daggers cutting through my flesh.
Was that how she felt? How I had made her feel?
My mouth opened, unable to form comprehensible words. “I-I.. no..”
“I thought you were different. But I should’ve known better. Once you got what you wanted from me...,” she shook her head in disbelief. “I can only blame myself. I should’ve never let my guard down.”
I finally managed to get my voice back. “But I’m glad you let your guard down with me. Amelia, please. I promise it wasn’t like that. Please let me explain. I know I hurt you.”
Tears were glistening in her eyes as she looked at me.
“But I really cared about you, I still do. You weren’t some sick conquest or a fetish. I wanted you for you. And I still do.” I took a deep breath in. “Please, let me explain the whole thing to you. We can do it over a drink at mine. It’s your choice.”
Amelia had a blank expression on her face, her dark grey eyes fixed on mine. Then finally, she gave a slight nod. “Fine. You can explain.”
Chapter 3
Amelia.
I was sitting on Lucas’ couch with a soda in hand, listening to him explain the real story to me. Well, the real story at least according to his words.
“And I’m so sorry that it happened,” he finished.
I took a sip of my coke, mulling over his words. I supposed his side of the story was believable. But it didn’t change how his actions had affected me.
“Even if you’re telling the truth, it doesn’t change the fact that I felt more humiliated than ever,” I sighed, avoiding his eyes. “I felt like I trusted you with something so personal and private..and then I got betrayed when you told your friend about everything,” I lifted my gaze to meet him. “I would maybe expect that from a teenager but not from someone your age. You were supposed to be the adult here.”
Lucas shook his head in disbelief. “I know, Amelia. I really messed up. I crossed a line by sharing personal details about you to Xavier. I wish I could take it back, believe me I do. I’m so sorry,” his blue eyes were teary.
He truly looked like he was hurting from this whole debacle. A mean part of me was glad: I had been hurting too and I wanted him to fe
el at least a part of the pain I had endured.
“Could you give me another chance? I would be honored to show you that I’m not just after your body. It was never about that,” he said. “I mean of course I was glad about that part too, but it was never the main point,” Lucas corrected.
I felt extremely doubtful. “But why do you even want to be with me?” For the life of me, I couldn’t understand it. “You could get like..anyone. If there’s something I’ve learnt is that there’s nothing that special about me. I have nothing to offer to you. I’m inexperienced, both emotionally and physically. Not to mention I live with my mom and I’m broke.” I muttered, feeling embarrassed. “I just don’t get why a guy like you would want to be with a..someone like me when you could get any successful woman.” The words had escaped my mouth before I even had a chance to process them.
Lucas looked shocked. “Why would you ever say that about yourself? First things first, I’d be lucky to be with someone like you. You’re kind, passionate, intelligent and determined. I truly believe that there’s nothing you can’t achieve. And yes, you may be younger but I never think about our age difference when we’re together. It doesn’t show, so to me it doesn’t matter. And I don’t care that you’re inexperienced—there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d be honored to be the person you can learn these things with. And not just physically, emotionally as well.” He sounded out of breath. “I don’t know, there’s just something about you that I can't get my head wrapped around. But that something speaks to me. And please don’t ever underestimate yourself. You’re an amazing young woman. I hope you can believe my words. I know I betrayed your trust and I’m willing to work hard to gain it back.”
His eyes fixed on mine, as if he was trying to study me and the answer that I would give him.
After a long moment of silence, I let out a sigh. “Okay.”
Lucas’ eyes instantly lit up. “Thank you. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you for weeks now. I can’t believe we haven’t gotten around to it yet,” he grinned and his baby blue eyes sparkled, making me question my sanity.
Why did he have to look so good that I felt like throwing all caution in the wind?
“Can I have your number?”
I let out a chuckle. “Of course.”
I dialed my number in his phone and then told him that I needed to go unpack—which was true.
As I got back home and started pulling out my clothes, I couldn’t help but think back to our conversation. Lucas didn’t seem like that kind of a person who would blatantly lie to someone—but on the other hand, he didn’t seem like a person who would reveal private details about me to others either. I really wanted to believe him, because as much as I hated him for what he had done, I still liked him. I still had feelings for him.
Before everything had unraveled, I’d started to fall for him. And it didn’t surprise me: he had been the guy of my dreams, someone I had fantasized about for as long as I could remember. Even back when he had paid no mind to the 15-year-old me. I would just have to see if he really meant what he had said. And this time around, I’d guard myself better.
I WAS IN THE MIDDLE of folding my clothes when my phone rang for the first time in days. I checked the screen and saw Lucas’ name plastered across it.
“Hello!”
“Hey there Amelia. I just wanted to call and ask you out on a proper date. Maybe next Saturday if you’re free?” His smooth voice vibrated through the speaker, making me feel tingly inside. Stop it, I told myself internally, trying to stop my body’s involuntary reaction.
Pushing the butterflies aside, I cleared my throat. “That would be nice.”
I could hear a smile in his voice. “Great. I’ll pick you up at 2 p.m. I hope your mom’s not home,” he chuckled and then hung up.
I felt giddy. I would be going out with him properly this time. The last occasions had been all about sneaking around, and Netflix and dinners at his. Now we’d be doing it properly by going out together in public. Maybe Lucas really meant what he had said, maybe I wasn’t just his dirty little secret. As hot as the sneaking around had been, it had started to make me feel as if he had been ashamed to be seen with me.
I finished folding my clothes and then settled at my desk, rounding up all the available internships. For the rest of the week, I kept myself busy with the applications, only emerging out of my room to have a bite to eat in between. I was more determined than ever to start work this fall.
Saturday finally rolled around and the anticipation that I’d had for the past few days, only seemed to worsen. I had no idea why I felt as nervous as I did. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen this guy before, let alone done naughty things with him. And this time around, we would only be going out.
As I was getting ready, I tried to calm myself down. Even figuring out what to wear proved to be a difficult task: I tried on a dozen dresses before opting for something else and then changed my mind yet again. Finally, I decided on a lilac flowy skirt with a slit and a white short sleeved top. I paired the whole thing off with embellished sandals and golden earrings while my beachy dark brown hair flowed freely below my shoulders.
At exactly two o’clock, the doorbell rang and I opened the door to meet a very handsome Lucas standing behind it. Maybe a little too handsome. He was making it hard for me to keep my distance.
Lucas was dressed in navy, fitted shorts with a tan belt and a white, short sleeved button up shirt.
“Ready?” He smiled and my eyes wandered down to the bag in his hands, wondering what he had planned.
I nodded at him and then we were on our way.
“Let’s pop in that grocery store nearby, I wanna get us a few things,” he said.
We strolled leisurely in silence, only broken by the occasional remark. The weather was nice and pleasant, the warm August sun dancing on my already tanned skin.
Once we reached the grocery store, Lucas proceeded to fill a basket with cheese and bread, chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of wine. Then we hopped in a cab which took us to the Botanical Garden, where Lucas pulled out a blanket from his bag, setting up a picnic for us.
I sat down on it and he handed me a glass of wine, settling next to me.
“I hope this is okay,” he said, appearing shy.
I took a sip of my wine and smiled. “I really like this. It was such a great idea.”
I had to admit to myself that I was truly impressed by his date idea. No one had ever done something so nice for me.
We enjoyed the weather and scenery, casually talking about our end of summer plans. The different types of cheese went amazingly with the wine and everything was made even better by Lucas catching glimpses of me. It was as if he couldn’t keep his eyes off me.
“This was amazing,” I told him as I reached for the last bit of cheese.
“You have to try these strawberries. They’re my favorite,” he grinned and reached out and grabbed one. Before I had the chance to take it from him, he brought it over to my lips. I slowly opened my mouth, letting him place the strawberry in it.
“Oh my goodness,” I couldn’t help letting out an audible sigh as I savored the sweet mixture of chocolate and strawberry.
Lucas watched me with a smile on his face. “You have a bit of chocolate right there,” he said softly and placed his hand on the side of my face, stroking my bottom lip with his thumb. Next moment, his lips were pressed on mine, kissing me tenderly. He tasted like sweet strawberries and I felt butterflies fluttering in my tummy. Our kiss was slow and sweet with no sense of urgency in it. When we pulled apart, my lips involuntary twitched upwards into a wide smile. Lucas wrapped his arms around me and pulled me next to him. For the rest of the time, we enjoyed the setting sun together.
When the evening turned cooler, we headed back home together. He hopped out of the cab first and then rushed to get my door. We walked up the steps to my door, holding hands. As we came into a halt, he placed his other hand on the small of my back and pulled me
closer to him, his warm body radiating heat. My insides tingled, feeling his strong, slender body pressed against mine.
“I had a wonderful time today,” he said quietly, his baby blue eyes staring deep into mine. He raised his other hand to stroke my cheek and then placed a strand of hair behind my ear.
“So did I,” I said, breathing out heavily. The buildup was so intense. I had missed his touch more than I’d realized. I loved how his body felt against mine and how it made me feel.
Lucas leaned in and put his lips on mine, nipping on my lower lip lightly. A silent moan escaped my lips. Then, before the kiss had even properly begun, he pulled away, leaving me craving for more.
“I would invite you to mine but I wanna show you that I’m after the whole package. I don’t want this to be only a physical thing,” he whispered in my ear and then kissed my cheek.
As the meaning of his words sunk in, my heart melted into a puddle and I plunged my fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth to mine. His words meant so much to me but at the same time, they made me want him even more.
My lips danced with his and a slow burn ignited in the pit of my belly. He slipped his tongue inside my mouth and I pushed my body harder against his. Lucas’ hand was softly stroking my back while the other held on to the back of my neck. I licked his lower lip, and then sucked it into my mouth.
Our moment of passion came to an end when a dog barked in the distance. He kissed the tip of my nose and then smiled and turned away without another word.
I opened my door and stepped inside, closing it behind me. My heart was racing twenty miles a minute and my cheeks felt hot and heavy.
Damn, what a date.
Chapter 4
Lucas.
I was waiting for Xavier in our usual spot to deliver the good news in person. It seemed like he was off the hook for good. Amelia had been kind enough to give me a second chance and I promised her I wouldn’t screw it up. I’d only let that happen over my dead body.
Reckless Little Affair Page 2