by K. Renee
Turning to face Prez, I look him in the eye and wait for him to speak his peace. The room clears and I watch as all the brothers pass us, including Romeo. He runs his shoulder into me and, as I turn to punch the fucker, Prez stops me. He closes the door behind the last brother to leave and he motions to the chairs. Taking a seat, I wait for him to say his peace.
“You’re running like a pussy. Why the fuck are you not taking your girl back?” I shrug and keep from saying a word. “This isn’t like you, E. I’ve known you a long while now, and you know she’s pregnant again. That kid could be yours, and you’re just going to let someone else come in and step up to be that child’s father?”
“It could be his. Who the fuck knows?” I reply, shrugging my shoulders again. He shakes his head and taps his fingers on the table.
“You’re not just trying to skip town on raising your kid are you?”
“Fuck no. I’ll be back to see him as much as she lets me. I’ll send her money whenever she needs. I just have shit I need to take care of before I can even think about settling down anywhere.” He raises an eyebrow at me and I continue. “I’m filing for divorce, and I’ll deal with the shit storm that I already know I’ll be dealing with because of her bullshit.”
“About damn time, fucker.” He doesn’t say anything else even though I know he wants to. He dismisses me with a look, and I get up from my chair. Walking towards the door, I put my hand on the doorknob and look over my shoulder at him.
“Thanks, Prez. I know I don’t deserve shit for the way I’ve treated her, but I will make it up to them both.” He nods and sits back in his chair. Opening the door, I make my way out of the room and towards my room.
One month. Three Days. Ten hours.
The beeping of my phone jolts me awake. Cursing under my breath, I pull my arm out from under the bitch I fucked earlier and turn on the screen. The bright light almost blinds me. My eyes burn and, when I look down at the name on the screen, I feel like I got sucker punched. She has been texting me every damn day since she found out I left the club to go nomad. It was over a month ago. She always wants to know where the fuck I am and when I’ll be coming home.
The only time I stick around in town is when I have Blade. She lets me have him for three days at a time and, even then, she is always up my damn ass like she was my damn wife. Only I don’t get any of the damn benefits anymore.
Home. I don’t have a home anymore. That bitch Tina set my fuckin’ house on fire when the club’s lawyers served her the divorce papers. The only thing that I own anymore is my bike and that fuckin’ bitch is trying to take even that in the divorce.
Trixibella: E, I need you to call me. Please?
Laying my head back on the shitty mattress that this bitch owns, I blow out a breath. Why the fuck does she want me to call her at midnight? Hitting the button to make my phone call her, I put the phone to my ear and wait for her to answer.
“Elec,” she whispers.
“What babe?” I ask, throwing my arm over my eyes to block out some of the light coming in from the other room. There is music still blasting through the small ass house, and it sounds like the party is still just as fuckin’ hopping as it was when I took this bitch to bed.
“I need you.” Her voice breaks and it causes my spine to straighten. What the fuck does she mean she needs me?
“What are you talking about, babe?” Either I’m still fuckin’ hammered or those words really came out of her mouth.
“I messed it all up E. I… I…” She can’t get the words out and, instead of being fuckin’ smart, I get out of the bitch’s grip from earlier and pull my jeans on. Searching for my shirt, I pull my boots on and wait for her to spit it the fuck out.
“I told him about the baby and he left. He won’t return my calls, and I don’t know what to do.” She finally stutters out. “E.” I hear Blade cry in the background, and I mutter out a fuck.
“You at the apartment?” I ask. I know it’s fuckin’ stupid, but I would still do anything for this bitch. She could call me a millions times in the middle of the night, and I’d still come running like a goddamn idiot.
“Yeah.” I hear her try and sooth Blade, but he is inconsolable.
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in twenty.” I hang up before she can say anything and pocket my phone. Before I can even get out of the damn room, my phone is ringing again. Looking at the screen, this time I see Romeo’s name on the screen. Just fuckin’ great.
“Yeah?” I answer. At least now I’m fuckin’ awake.
“I should have fucking known that you had something else up your goddamn sleeve. The kid is yours, isn’t it?” I smirk, and make my way through the party. When I get to the door, I open it and walk into the crisp night air.
“Who the fuck knows? She doesn’t know and maybe if you didn’t fuck one of your brothers’ women you wouldn’t be in this shit. But, right now, I know that I had a panicked woman call me and my son was screaming in the background. Maybe pulling that disappearing act you’re so fuckin’ good at would have been better if I had my son for the night.” I walk over to my bike and straddle her.
“You think you’re going to put her back together again, asshole? You’re not. You and I both know that her heart belongs to me and there is no way in hell that it will ever be yours. So, try all you fuckin’ want but, in the end, she’ll be back in my bed sucking my dick.” I hang up before he can even say a reply. Making the long drive to her apartment, I get there record time. Parking my bike, I scan the area and see that he still hasn’t made it back here. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought, or he’s that fuckin’ pissed.
Walking up to her door, I can hear Blade screaming though the thin walls. This place is shit for privacy. I gently knock on the door before grabbing the key she gave me a while back. Unlocking the door, I see her rocking him in the middle of the living room. Wet angry tears are streaming down his face and, when he sees me, he reaches out for me. Shutting the door and locking it behind me, I make my way towards them and take him from her arms.
“Thank God, you finally got here. He’s been screaming since we got off the phone.” He quiets in my arms, and I wipe his cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, studying her face.
She sighs and walks away from me. “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Blade is never happy when you aren’t here, and Romeo is pissed that I don’t know whose kid this is.” She points to her belly, and I want to reach out and touch her. Even if it isn’t my kid, I’d still raise it as my own. Who the fuck am I kidding? I want this kid to be mine, too.
“Tell him it’s mine and be done with his sorry ass,” I say. I rub my hand down Blade’s back as he tucks his face into my neck. Taking a seat on the tiny ass fuckin’ couch that she owns, I make it look like it’s from a damn dollhouse.
“E.” She says it on a sigh. I look over at her, and watch the panic start to take over her features.
“He called me,” I state. Blade starts to climb all over me, and I keep him from falling off the couch.
“Dadda,” he giggles, when I grab his hand as he starts to fall. I catch him before he falls and Trix turns her attention to me.
“What do you mean he called you?” She gives me a dirty look and I frown. I don’t get why she fuckin’ cares what the fucker called about.
“He thinks I’ve got something up my sleeve. I told him that I didn’t do shit, and that I didn’t know whose kid it is.” She frowns and takes a seat next to me. She reaches over to grab Blade’s hand and kisses it. His eyes close, and he tucks his head into my arm.
“I’m going to put him in bed.” I start to stand up and she slowly lets go of him. Walking him into his room, I lay him in his bed. Putting his blanket over him, I tuck him in and press a kiss on his forehead. His fingers curl around mine, and I can’t help but smile. My love for this little boy grows immensely every day that I spend time with him.
After spending a few minutes watching him, I turn to leave the roo
m and see Trix standing in the doorway watching me. “You’re amazing with him,” she whispers.
I nod my head and walk past her. When I turn around, I see her walk into the room and run her hand over his hair before she kisses him and makes her way towards me. She stops next to me, and I wrap my arm around her waist. “Elec…” her voice trails off and I see the way her eyes light up. Her feelings for me have never changed, and we both know it. She tries to make me think she could give a fuck less about me, but we both know the truth.
She wants me just as bad as I want her. I pull her body to mine. Leaning down, I press my mouth to hers. She kisses be back roughly for a few minutes before she pulls away and puts her fingers to her lips. “I can’t, E. Not with the way things are between me and-” I stop her from saying his fuckin’ name.
I hate that damn bastard. I start walking towards the front door, but she stops me. “E.” Her voice stops me dead in my tracks. When I turn to look at her, I see the uncertainty written all over her face. “Please stay. I would hate for you to go and sleep in a shitty hotel while you’re in town. I was the one who called and brought you here in the middle of the night. It’s the least I can do.”
I shake my head and go to open the door. I can’t stay here and keep my hands off of her. “Trust me baby, if I stay, we would wind up in bed together.” She frowns, and I start to move again. “I’ll come by in the next few days to pick up our boy.”
She nods, and I shut the door behind me. Making my way to my bike, I make the mistake of looking back one last time. Her face is in the window, and I see her wipe at her eyes. Straddling my bike, I crank the engine and ride away from my life.
Making my way towards the hotel I typically stay at when I’m in town, I see that bitch Tina strutting down the main drag by the bars. Her blonde hair is fluffed up on top of her head in a rat’s nest-looking thing, and I slow to a stop next to her. “I thought you’d be fucking your whore still.” She raises a perfectly done eyebrow, and I can’t help but laugh at her ass.
“I fuck who I want, when I want,” I grin.
She snorts at my words, and I wait for her response. “You mean she got smart and left your stupid ass, too. I heard the rumors going around and how she's pregnant again. She spreads her legs more than the average whore.”
Getting off my bike, I stalk towards her and back her up against the building. The darkness keeps us hidden from any prying eyes, and I’m sure it looks like I’m about to fuck her in the dark corner. “You say another thing to bad mouth the mother of my child, and I won’t hesitate to put you down like the bitch you are.” Her eyes flash with anger, and she reaches out to slap me, but I grab her hand and force it behind her back.
“You don’t scare me, you pussy. A real man doesn’t step out on his wife.” I lean in closer to her and her body melts to mine. She doesn’t mean a damn word she says. I still light up her body like I did for years.
“A wife wouldn’t make her ol’ man's life so miserable that he would do whatever it took to get the fuck away from her either. So, before you start spewing the same shit you’ve been trying to spew at me for years, I suggest you take a damn look in the mirror.” She huffs and I push away from her. I get back on my bike and start the engine just as the bitch comes launching herself at me, screaming her damn head off.
“You smug bastard. You are the only reason our fucking marriage didn’t work! You were too busy screwing that damn whore to give a damn about me.” A few people stop and stare at her fuckin’ outburst. She hits me a few times, and I have to fight to keep the bike and me upright. “You had a fucking child with that bitch,” she says on a sob. Some guy notices me trying to keep the bike up, and he pulls her off of me. Putting the kickstand down, I get off my bike and make my way towards her.
Her eyes are now filling with angry tears, and she’s yelling at the guy for pulling her crazy ass off of me. He flips her the bird and nods in my direction. “Tina, chill the fuck out. Our marriage didn’t work because we are both selfish fuckin’ people. I only married you because you gave me an ultimatum, and I liked the way you sucked my dick. I should have fuckin’ walked out that door years before I started stepping out on you. Yeah, I’m a bastard for that, but I don’t regret a damn thing I did with Trix. You threatening to commit suicide is the only reason I stuck around the last two years. Otherwise I’d be living the fuckin’ life I want with my son and my girl.” The crowd around us doesn’t move, and they are listening to every damn word, but I don’t give a fuck. She needs to hear this shit apparently.
“Bitch, you set our damn house on fire when I had my lawyer deliver the divorce papers. You’re fuckin’ crazy and I’m glad that I’m ridding myself of you. I lost a lot being a bastard to you, and I’m sorry for that, but coming at me and screaming at me isn’t going to change the fact that we don’t work. We never have and never will. Stay the fuck away from my son, his mother, and me. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”
Her mouth just opens and closes without any noises coming from her. I walk over to my bike and mount it before I take off into the night towards the hotel. Once I check in, I make my way to the room and swing the door open. I’ve had enough of the fuckin’ drama tonight. I just want to start over and make choices that would land my girl and me back together. Trixibella and I would be settled down with a family and shit if I wasn’t a fuckin’ idiot. I would know without a doubt that that kid is mine.
Six months. Two weeks. Three Days.
My divorce is finally fuckin’ over and I can start fresh. Every week, like clockwork, I check into a hotel and my Trixibella stops by to bring me my son. Tonight is going to be the first time that she brings him to my house. I bought it a few days after I got word that my divorce would be final. It’s not much, but it’s enough for me to get by with.
A knock at the door brings me to my feet. Walking over to it, I see the door open and my little man comes running as fast as his little chubby legs can bring him. He trips and falls to the carpet and looks up at me with alligator tears that don’t work on me like they do his mom. He starts to cry just as I scoop him up and press a kiss to his cheek.
“Hey, buddy. You can run now.” He nods his head, and I wipe the tears off his cheek.
“Dadda.” He whimpers. “I urt.” I hold him so I can kiss his hurt knee, and he grabs my face in both of his small hands and starts to giggle. He’s resilient. He can cut his leg up, causing him to cry for a minute, before he starts to laugh and do something else that will get him hurt.
I hear her giggle and when I look up, I get the breath knocked out of me. She’s fuckin’ beautiful. Even at nine months pregnant, I still can’t help but stare at her. “Elec,” she says with a smile. She’s glowing with happiness and I know it’s not because of me.
“Hey, Trixibella. You look fuckin’ beautiful.” She waddles closer to me, and I press my lips to her cheek. She blushes and I hate knowing that she will be going back to him in just a few short minutes.
“Stavros said you’re coming back?” Her voice practically brings me to my knees. I want nothing more than to listen to her whisper all the dirty things she wants to do to me like she used to.
“Depends,” I say shrugging. She arches an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to continue. “You already know I won’t come back while you’re still together. I can’t watch that fuckin’ shit. You’re mine, baby.” She shakes her head, and her red hair bounces around her shoulders.
“E, we’ve been over this a hundred times. I’m happy.” She doesn’t say it very convincingly.
“You don’t look all that happy.” I state. Blade forces me to let him go, and he starts to run towards the couch. She hands me his bag, and I watch as she waddles her way towards the couch. She slowly sits down, and I watch her expression change. She hunches over in pain and cries out.
Closing the distance between us, I grab her hand and she squeezes the shit out of it. “E,” she pants out. “I think…” She stops and squeezes harder. “I’m going into labor,” she
finally pants out. I get out of her grip and grab Blade. Helping Trix off of the couch, I help her out to the car and get her into the passenger seat. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I dial Prez’s number and tell him to meet us at the hospital. I don’t care if Romeo might be this kids dad, I won’t be the one calling his ass. Plus Prez is the only one I trust Blade with.
After I get Blade strapped into the seat, I shut the door and make my way to the driver’s side. We make our way to the hospital with her squeezing the shit out of my hand the whole way.
When I pull into a spot, I turn the car off, and make my way to her door and open it. A nurse comes running towards us with a wheelchair, and I can only thank that fucker Stavros for being a lot calmer than me about this shit. I grab Blade and we follow her into the hospital. After they get her into a room, and shit all set up, they kick Blade and I out until I can get someone to take him while she gives birth.
I see Prez come jogging towards us, and he reaches out and takes Blade before I can even say anything. He motions for me to go, and I run back towards the room that they kicked me out from earlier. When I get back inside, they toss some scrub like things at me and tell me to get dressed before I come closer to her. Once I get that shit on, I walk over to her and grab her hand. She has sweat pouring down her face, and her face is contorted in discomfort.
“E. I hate you so bad right now,” she whimpers. I press a kiss to her sweaty forehand and grin.
“You can hate me all you want, but just know that I love you.” She starts to whimper as a doctor comes into the room.
“You are ready to push, Trix,” the doctor states. Trix grabs my hand, and squeezes it harder than all the other times as she screams out.
“I fucking hate you, Elec,” she screams on the second push. Like I already told her, she can blame me for everything. I don’t give a fuck as long as that kid is mine.