by Jules Dixon
It was time to stop acting like I hated her and to start loving her. She was mine.
Chapter Eighteen
Aurora
The night started to wind down and I didn’t want to leave. Kanyon opened the sliding back door to let Animal out. The dog paused looking up at him, then whimpered when Kanyon still insisted Animal go outside.
“How does everyone feel about having an adult sleepover?” he queried the group.
“What’s up?” Jude asked.
“That rain turned into freezing rain and now there’s what looks to be about a quarter inch of ice on everything. Can’t imagine the roads are safe for travel.”
“We have plenty of blankets and pillows and beds.” Willow stood and in minutes had a pile of bedding on the table. “I think the pregnant woman should sleep in a bed, so Chloe can have Grace’s room.”
“Isn’t Presley pregnant, too?” Chloe looked across the room, then covered her mouth with her hand when she realized it was supposed to be a secret. She dropped it to offer her apology. “I’m sorry, Ollie told me.”
Presley spun to Jude and threw up her hands. “Did you tell everyone?”
He did his sexy grin. “I’m a happy man. It just comes out, beautiful.”
Presley rolled her eyes. “Someday I’m going to get tired of that ‘beautiful’ thing and then what will you do?”
Jude slid in behind her and whispered what he was going to do in her ear and Presley blushed a cherry red.
Willow continued, “Yes, she and Jude can have the master bedroom. There is a pullout sofa in the basement and a full-sized futon down there too, then the sofa here. And we have a couple of blow-up mattresses.”
Kanyon hauled the inflatable beds into the kitchen from the hall closet. People started making their way to various rooms. Ollie and Holt took an inflatable mattress and some bedding into the office and closed the door. Bryson, Avery, and Jake made their way to the basement and Chloe went upstairs, followed by Jude and Presley.
“Kanyon, you and Willow can take my bed,” Drexel offered.
Kanyon smiled. “I was hoping you would say that. All the pregnant women should have beds.”
Drexel shook his head. “No fucking way.”
“Animal ate her birth control pills, again, in December. She had some problems this week, so it’s not for sure, but we’re hoping. Jude and Presley are the only other people who know.”
Kanyon’s eyes crinkled with concern but also shined with happiness.
I reached out and squeezed his arm. “I’ll send out some good thoughts for you.”
“Appreciate that, Rory. Are you two okay here in the family room?” Kanyon slid a blow-up mattress across the floor.
“We’ll be just fine,” I answered before going to the restroom to get ready for bed.
When I returned, there were a pair of pajama pants from Willow on the coffee table. Drexel wasn’t in the room, not that I really would have cared if he were there to watch me change. I replaced my jeans with the silky bottoms, slipped off my bra, and sat on the sofa.
Drexel returned, his shirt off and pajama bottoms hanging below his stare-worthy V of muscles, a trail of darker blond hair disappearing into his pants, teasing my eyes to follow. He stopped behind the recliner, leaning forward on his elbows, using the chair as a support. Staring seemed so high school, but so right.
“I’ll sleep on the mattress so you can have the sofa.”
“Drex, come here, so we can talk.”
He rubbed his hands together. “That’s not a great idea.”
“Why?”
“I’m fighting a really strong urge for a hit right now and I don’t want to substitute—”
“Making love to me?”
He nodded and started moving furniture to make room for the mattress. I stood and helped him, trying to maintain the space he needed, but being supportive. I brushed past him to get the sofa for a pillow and blanket and without thinking ran my hand over his bare back. He grabbed my wrist and before I could say anything I was lifted, my legs wrapped around him, and I was pinned against the wall. His breath left searing trails of heat up my neck, his lips making their way to my ear. I could feel his heart pounding as my hands traced his hard pecs. His lips captured mine, but his kiss was different. Not the normal frantic passion, full of want and desire. This one was scared. Panicked. Jittery. Desperate. My skin started to tingle as I fought for breath. He continued to keep a connection even after I tried to break the kiss. I pushed against his shoulders, and finally, there was no other choice. I slapped his face.
“Shit!” He dropped my legs to the floor and rushed from the room.
I crawled onto the sofa and turned my back to the room. Tears rushed me and I didn’t even try to stop them. I remembered Dad’s words: “Know why you’re crying and make the reason worth the tears.” I needed to cry, for Drexel, for his pain, for his fear, for his tortured heart. He was worth it to me.
I heard his footsteps and the squeak of the air mattress. I rolled over and his back was to me.
“Drexel?”
“Let’s get some sleep.”
“Are you mad?”
“At myself, yes. At you, no.” Rolling over to face me, he doubled up the pillow. “I’m sorry for being so forceful.” The way his eyes wandered my face, I could tell those words didn’t come easy for him.
“I forgive you and I’m really sorry for hitting you.”
“You had to.”
I had to be near him. I needed to hold him. I inched from the sofa.
“Rory, I don’t think—”
“Don’t think, just let me hold you.” I fused his body to mine, pulling his head into my neck. “I felt pain in that kiss, but what I don’t understand is why it felt emotional and not physical.”
“It’s not physical.”
“So your arm is better?”
“Yeah.”
My heart tripped a little. He was opening up slowly, those tight layers peeling away.
“Then what is it?”
Drexel nuzzled in closer. I let him have the time he needed. I could feel he wanted to open up to me.
“I was an afterthought in my parents’ lives. They didn’t love me. At least, not the way parents really should.”
“I’m so sorry, Drexel.”
His arm wrapped around me and guided me closer as a barrier in him started to break down. “The way your dad protects you, that’s how parents should be.”
“Sometimes he protects me too much. Drexel, my dad is going to fire you.”
His body stiffened. “Wow, nothing like being kicked in the testicles when you’re down.”
“Are you upset?”
“Nope. Using at work put people at risk and wasn’t professional. I expected it and as much as I don’t want to leave Jessen Auto, I respect him for the hard decision. But I’d also imagine he told you to stay away from me, right?”
I sighed.
“I figured. It’s okay.” He started to release me.
I guided him back. “No, it’s not. I’m an adult, I get to decide who is in my life and who isn’t.”
He moved until he was face-to-face with me. “Aurora, it’s not about being an adult. It’s about how I’ve hurt you, how I might hurt you, and how you shouldn’t have to be waiting for me to do something stupid. Maybe I’m just the wrong guy for you.”
“Why do you keep saying you’re the wrong guy when clearly we have something special?” I touched his face and he closed his eyes.
“When you were in the hospital, I tried to wake you up, but I couldn’t. I’m not the right guy. And I think your dad would agree that I’m not good enough for you.”
I examined his handsome face finding a hard line of disappointment between his eyes, and then it hit me.
I giggled. “Open your eyes.”
“Why are you smiling and giggling?”
I smiled wider. “First, I love my father, but his opinion now lands in either the take-it or leave-it category. Your opi
nion now counts more, Drexel. But let’s talk about the hospital thing. You tried to wake me from the coma by kissing me, didn’t you?”
“I tried. But it didn’t work. Aurora, why are you smiling like that?” His inflexible sincerity was both touching and slightly annoying. And that was him being normal and I loved normal. I loved Drexel.
“Sleeping Beauty is just a fairy tale. Drex, this is reality. You and me, we are real.”
“And that’s a problem. I’ve never had real. I’ve always had an alternate reality brought on by an addiction or my need to create a family I never had, and then when I didn’t have anyone, I treated people like crap hoping they wouldn’t actually try to get to know me because there was a chance they might not like the real me.”
“I know you. The real you. And I like you. Hell, I more than like you. Let me show you how real this is, Drex. How wonderful we are together. Give us a chance because I think you are so worth it.” I guided his head to mine but he reared back from my advancing lips.
“You’re absolutely sure? Because when I start this, I’m not going to want to stop, ever.” The hope in his voice made me smile again.
“Drexel, in you, I see a man taking responsibility for his past and a man committed to facing his pain and moving forward. I see someone who has friends who love him and want him to be healthy and happy. I see … I see you, through the questionable comments, the understandable fears, the over-the-top cockiness—which, in truth, I really don’t mind. I also see a man who deserves to be loved. Through everything, I see the real you.” I leaned closer to him and whispered, “You rode into my life on a black horse. You are my prince. You just need to believe you are, like I do.”
“My princess. I love you, Aurora.”
“I love you, too.”
Drexel leaned into me and his soft lips floated against mine. I moaned when his tongue parted my lips and we met in a deep kiss. He rolled me on top of him. “I want you, but I don’t have any condoms.”
“I’m covered by the pill. I’m clean. And I trust you, Drex.”
“I was tested the last time I went to my doctor to up my pain meds and I haven’t been with anyone since. Well, I was with you … best moment of my life, Rory.”
I tugged my shirt over my head and Drexel inhaled.
“This time, I want to taste you, Aurora.”
“And I want you to see how great my lips look around your cock.” I licked my lips and slipped my hand into his pajama pants. I shivered at how solid and yet silky smooth he was. I sighed, realizing what being able to touch him did to me.
Drexel’s eyes rolled in his head. “You really have to stop that noise.”
“Never, because I know what it does to you. It makes you feel.”
“I don’t deserve—”
“Don’t. Just like I’ll never say ‘fine’ again, you will never again say you don’t deserve me. Drexel Mason, I deserve you and you deserve me.”
The air mattress squeaked every time we moved, but I didn’t care. Drexel adjusted me so I was diagonal on the mattress, giving him room for his long torso. He slipped the pajama pants down my legs, his eyes heating with every inch of revealed skin.
“Once upon a time, there was a gorgeous girl named Aurora.” He smiled, gazing up at me with his sparkling eyes. “At the beginning of their story, her prince thought he was meant to save her, but in reality, she was always meant to save him.”
Tears fell from my eyes. I was wrapped in his love. “Drexel, you saved me, too.”
He took me over the edge into a dreamlike bliss, and without another word, he joined his body with mine, taking me higher and higher again.
Until there was a loud—Pop!
Crap, the air mattress!
Drexel and I laughed as the hole screamed a high-pitched hiss, but like nothing could stop us, we continued making love to each other.
“We heard that!” Jake yelled.
“Hey, you two, some of us are trying to sleep!” Jude shouted.
“Will you two lovebirds be quiet?” Ollie called out.
Avery giggled. “We can tell what you’re doing!”
“Mason and Jessen, you’re torturing the horny pregnant woman!” Chloe moaned.
The basement door opened and Jake ran up the stairs. The comments and Jake’s actions only made us laugh harder.
Drexel stilled and yelled out, “Love you guys, but not a chance in hell this isn’t going to get loud. I’d suggest turning on music and starting your own distractions.”
Everyone laughed and multiple love songs started playing in various areas of the home.
Fairy tales were good stories, but they were only that. Reality was what we both needed.
Reality … and to move off this hard floor.
Epilogue
Drexel
I walked through the door and viewed the room. Chairs. Lots of chairs.
“Hey, Drex!”
“Hey, Kirsch.”
“You ready?”
I exhaled a long breath. “I am.”
“Good. Take a seat. Remember, this is new for me too, so if I mess up—”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll point it out.”
He shook his head. “Great.”
I turned and took a seat in the front row, sinking onto the hard wood that I was convinced was meant to be uncomfortable so we stayed awake.
The room filled quickly.
More people in the program than I expected.
Kirsch cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Welcome everyone to Psych Proseminar 9230: Developmental Psychology. My name is Dr. Matthews and this is my first semester teaching at UNO. Glad to be here and looking forward to a productive semester.”
The whiteboard lit up with the class syllabus and my stomach nosedived just a little. This wasn’t my only class. There would be two others to attend today and for the next four months. Three classes every semester for four years total.
I cracked my neck and focused on Kirsch’s standard babbling about attendance and success.
Attendance is about being present, and success is about effort. Reminds me of every NA meeting I attend.
I’d taken an interesting path toward what would hopefully be my permanent career as a school psychologist. Twelve days after I started my detox—emotional and mental and physical—I walked into Jessen Auto and met with Mr. Jessen. He still fired me, but he also offered me a substantial severance for the years I’d devoted to his business. I told him how grateful I was for his generosity, but I needed him to know something before he finalized that offer.
My now clean and coherent brain trailed back to Valentine’s Day, which turned out to be my favorite day of the year…
“Mr. Jessen, years ago I met a girl. Her heart is as beautiful as she is. She saved me from a past that made me afraid to love. Although she can make me want to tear my hair out and bite my own tongue off, I finally realized if I opened up to her, she and I could have something not just special, but so phenomenal that it should inspire a fairy tale.”
Mr. Jessen opened his mouth.
I raised my hand and realized it was shaking with nerves. He saw the reaction and his eyes narrowed slightly.
I continued, “Please, sir, let me get this out.”
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.
“And I’m clean. Permanently. I promise. I’m just nervous, because Mr. Jessen, that girl is your daughter, Aurora.”
He rocked his chair forward.
I continued, “Although Rory is stubbornly but adorably adamant we don’t need your approval to be a couple, I told her I won’t come between family members because I can see what you, Lydia, and Spencer mean to her. What I’m saying is…” I swallowed a lump of not fear, but appreciation for what Rory was to me. “I’m in love with Aurora and I’m committed to spending the rest of my life making her happy. I’d like to have your support behind us.”
Mr. Jessen glared, stood, and walked out of his office.
My heart crash
ed to my gut and my legs wouldn’t move to leave and get out of there while I still had my pride. I didn’t expect him to be all hugs and to call me “son”, but I hadn’t expected him to up and leave. I blew out a long breath and steadied the nerve I’d need to talk to Rory. When I turned, Mr. Jessen was standing in the doorway, his hands on the shoulders of the woman I loved.
He smiled. “I’ll always think of her as my baby girl. You’d better make absolutely sure she’s the one because when I hand her over to you, I’m going to expect you to protect and love her the way I do.”
“Ew, Dad!” Rory cringed.
“You know what I meant, Rory.” Mr. Jessen smirked and shook his head as she looked over her shoulder at him.
“Does that mean we have your blessing?” she asked him.
“Not mine to bless. You need to make your own choices, but I hate that you’re all grown up.”
“Some days I do too, Dad.” She wrapped her arms around him. After they were done, she walked to me, her eyes sparkling. “I told you it’d work out,” she goaded me as I guided her into my arms.
Mr. Jessen approached us both. “Drexel, welcome to our family.”
I reached out for a handshake and he frowned at the gesture.
“We hug in our family. Get used to it.” He pulled me in and I enjoyed every second of that hug. He gave Aurora a kiss on her cheek and stepped back from us. “You be good to him too, but keep him on his toes. Your mother’s the real reason Jessen Auto exists. I’ll be the first to admit the support and love of the right person is a very powerful and inspirational thing.”
I knew this to be true.
A few tears fell down her rosy cheeks and I kissed the top of her head, wrapping my arms around her from behind. The moment was like a dream, but she was real. I was a lucky man to have her by my side.
“Drexel has applied for the school psychology master’s degree at UNO, starting in the fall. I’m very proud of him.”
“Well, then, your severance should come in handy.”
And the money had. His gift covered a majority of the program’s cost. Kanyon hired me on part-time to work at the Ducati dealership as a salesperson, and other days I volunteered at a center for at-risk youth. I saw a piece of my past in most of the kids there and I wouldn’t let them go down the path I had.