White Tiger

by Kylie Chan

  ‘I think she’s in the middle of about nine.’

  ‘So it’ll just be the three of us for the entire New Year break.’

  Simone piped up. ‘We’ll be like a family!’

  ‘We are a family,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, we are,’ I said.

  ‘We’re a family,’ Simone said softly.

  A couple of days later Mr Chen tapped on my door. ‘Can I talk to you?’ ‘Come on in.’

  ‘I was wondering if you’d help us,’ he said. ‘Monica’s done most of it, but my study and the Kitchen God still need to be done, and I’d like to take the mats up in the training room and vacuum underneath them.’

  ‘Oh, the New Year clean-out,’ I said. ‘Sure. I’ll take your paperwork, you do the rest of the study, and then we can do the mats together.’

  ‘Thanks. You know why we do this?’

  ‘Something about the Kitchen God taking the annual report to the Jade Emperor, and coming back with the new good luck for the whole year.’ I stopped when I heard what I’d said. ‘You saw the Jade Emperor yourself not long ago. Is this really necessary?’

  His eyes sparkled. ‘Oh, absolutely.’

  ‘So there’s another god around here that I haven’t noticed—the Kitchen God?’

  ‘You want to see?’

  ‘Sure.’

  He led me into the kitchen. One of the cupboards had an open altar underneath. The interior was painted red and contained an inscribed tablet over the top of an incense pot. The pot and tablet were nearly black with the dust from the incense.

  ‘I’ve seen you put incense in that. That’s him?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘What does he look like?’

  He gestured towards the pot. ‘That.’

  ‘You are really annoying sometimes, you know that?’

  ‘Good,’ he said with a perfectly straight face.

  That evening the three of us went out for a vegetarian meal in a restaurant in Wellington Street. Afterwards, we walked together to the pier and boarded Mr Chen’s boat. A cheerful deckhand helped me aboard, and Mr Chen carried Simone. Every boat in Hong Kong seemed to be floating on the Harbour to watch the show, and the promenade on both sides was thick with thousands of people.

  We sat on the cushioned top of the boat and leaned on the soft backrest. One of the deckhands provided us with a blanket and a thermos of tea. The wind whistling across the Harbour was bitter and seemed to cut straight through my jacket.

  Simone sat between us as the boat moved into position. Three barges had been moored in the Harbour to launch the fireworks.

  ‘I’m cold, Daddy,’ she said.

  We moved closer together with Simone between us. Mr Chen put his arm around her shoulders and I pulled the blanket up to her chin. All three of us wriggled down under the blanket.

  He gazed at me and my heart leapt. It was a look that said everything. He smiled slightly and I knew he felt it too. Both of us sighed and glanced down at Simone.

  ‘Cold,’ Simone said.

  I bundled her into my lap. Mr Chen moved closer and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling both of us into him. I didn’t care about anything else apart from the feeling of having both of them so close to me. I nestled against him and put my head on his shoulder. He squeezed me gently and pulled me closer.

  The fireworks began and Simone yelled, ‘Wah!’

  Her shout was echoed by everybody around the Harbour. The explosions vibrated through the boat.

  Mr Chen brushed my shoulder, then gently leaned over me and pushed his face into my hair.

  I didn’t move. Simone was busy watching the fireworks and didn’t notice.

  I turned my head to see him.

  He smiled down at me. His eyes were very dark and shining.

  ‘Don’t you have to be careful?’ I whispered.

  He moved his mouth next to my ear. ‘I could never hurt my child, even unintentionally. She is your shield.’

  ‘You can’t hurt me while we have her between us like this?’

  He moved his face further down to the side of my throat. ‘No,’ he breathed, and I felt the word more than heard it.

  I gazed into his glowing dark eyes. Our faces were very close. ‘It’s wrong to use her like this.’

  ‘I know. But sometimes you have to take the chance when it’s given you.’

  Another firework went off above our heads. Neither of us noticed. He lowered his face to mine and closed his eyes. Our lips touched. He opened to me.

  It was what I had wanted from the moment I’d seen him.

  He pushed harder into me, deepening the kiss. The explosions went off over our heads and neither of us cared. I put my free arm behind his neck and buried my fingers into his wonderful silken hair. My whole body was like an electric wire, strumming to his touch.

  But both of us were intensely aware of Simone in my lap. It had to end, and he pulled back first. He gazed into my eyes, then moved in and touched his mouth to mine again, a light brush. He smiled. ‘We are a pair of fools. Now I must be even more careful about touching you.’

  ‘Tell me it’s not worth it.’

  He smiled again. I ran my hand through his hair. He drifted his fingertips over my face.

  ‘Why aren’t you watching the fireworks, Daddy?’ Simone said loudly.

  We dropped our hands and looked down at her.

  ‘Why are you looking at Emma and not at the fireworks? Are you okay, Emma?’ Simone’s little face lit up. ‘Oh.’ She smiled slightly and looked back to the fireworks, wriggling her little bottom in my lap as she turned. ‘Don’t mind me.’

  We laughed softly together.

  I put my head on his shoulder.

  He squeezed me around the shoulders and brushed his hand over my arm. ‘We will probably never have another chance like this.’

  ‘This is more than I ever hoped for.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  On New Year’s Day I went into Simone’s room to dress her but Mr Chen was ahead of me. He’d dressed Simone in a little red cheongsam and was kneeling to tie her hair into two buns on top of her head. She was adorable.

  He wore his black silk robe with his hair braided. He smiled over the top of her head. ‘Gung hei fat choy, Miss Donahoe.’

  Simone saluted me, serious. ‘Gung hei fat choy. Lai see dao loy.’

  ‘Already asking for lai see. You are so cheeky,’ I said.

  Mr Chen carefully tied a red ribbon around one of Simone’s little buns. ‘Do you have new clothes you could wear today, Emma? It’s traditional for New Year’s Day to be a new beginning. Wearing new clothes is a part of that.’

  ‘I don’t have anything.’ Then I had a sudden inspiration. ‘How about one of my new cheongsams?’

  ‘The pink one!’ Simone jiggled with delight. Mr Chen lost his grip on the ribbon and tutted at her. ‘Sorry, Daddy.’

  He didn’t look up from her hair. ‘If you could wear your new cheongsam, I’d appreciate it.’

  ‘He’s just saying that because you look so pretty in it,’ Simone said. ‘Okay,’ I said. He smiled.

  I went back into my room, put on my pink cheongsam, twisted my hair into a neat bun, and applied some make-up just to seal the deal.

  They stood together in the living room waiting for me. Mr Chen’s face lit up when he saw me. I twirled for him.

  ‘You look prettier than me!’ Simone yelled. ‘Doesn’t she, Daddy?’

  ‘I don’t know which of you is more delightful to look at,’ he said with a gentle smile. ‘So I think I’ll settle on seeing both of you together.’

  The doorbell rang and he went to open the door.

  ‘Hey, what happened to the seals?’ Bai Hu said as he came in. ‘Yours were always the best. What happened?’

  ‘A demon blew them completely during the Mountain attack.’ Mr Chen closed the front door. ‘I’ll never have them back to what they were. You can come straight in now.’

  ‘Must have been a hell of a demon.’ Bai Hu stoppe
d dead and stared at Simone and me. ‘Look at the two beautiful girls. Wanna come home with me, girls?’

  ‘Yeah, sure!’ Simone shouted, jumping up and down.

  Mr Chen took Bai Hu’s arm, pulled him close and growled something softly into his ear.

  Bai Hu raised his hand and nodded. ‘Don’t worry, I get it, I get it, all yours.’ He raised the other hand as well. ‘Paws off. I promise.’

  ‘Good,’ Mr Chen said. ‘Come and help me set up the tables. We’ll have two mah jong tables in the training room, and one out here.’

  ‘What about Monica? Where’s she?’

  ‘Visiting family. Gone for the whole break.’

  ‘You’re doing all this yourself?’ Bai Hu said, incredulous.

  ‘Of course. Come and help with the tables.’

  ‘No. No way.’ Bai raised his hands again. ‘This is so not fitting it’s not funny.’

  ‘Get over it.’

  ‘No.’ Bai Hu gestured towards Simone and me. ‘They have to do housework?’

  ‘He vacuumed under the mats,’ I said. ‘I did the study.’

  ‘You did housework, Ah Wu? This is ridiculous,’ Bai Hu said. ‘Let me lend you one of mine.’

  ‘You want to give us a housekeeper?’ I said.

  ‘Of course,’ Bai Hu said. ‘What about the dinner tonight? You have, what, about ten coming over? Who the f—’ He stopped. ‘Who’s going to cook that? You’re going to make poor Emma cook?’

  ‘If I let Emma cook we’d all be dead of food poisoning by morning,’ Mr Chen said. ‘I can do it myself. I’m quite capable.’

  ‘I do not believe this.’ Bai Hu waved one hand. ‘There.’

  ‘That was totally unnecessary.’ ‘The hell it was.’

  A smiling Filipina came out of the kitchen and bowed to each of us in turn. ‘How many for dinner, sir?’

  ‘Twelve,’ Mr Chen said. ‘Vegetarian.’

  She nodded. ‘Very good, sir,’ and went back into the kitchen.

  ‘You shouldn’t make her work over the break,’ I said.

  ‘Not a problem, Emma, she’s a tame demon,’ Bai Hu said. ‘You know, if word got out about him doing this, he’d never hear the end of it.’

  ‘There is no higher honour than preparing a meal for the ones you care for, and you know it,’ Mr Chen said.

  Bai Hu growled and shook his head. ‘Nobody would eat it, Ah Wu, they’d be too embarrassed. Now, let’s set up these tables.’

  Later that afternoon the doorbell rang. I ran to answer it.

  ‘Madam Zhu Que,’ I said, saluting.

  ‘Hello, Emma,’ Zhu Que said. ‘What happened to Ah Wu’s seals?’

  I closed the door behind her. ‘A demon attacked us when he was on the Mountain. It blew the seals.’

  She held out a bag of oranges. ‘Could you take these?’

  Mr Chen came out of the training room. Zhu Que fell to one knee and saluted him. ‘Xuan Tian.’

  He nodded back. ‘Zhu Que. Gung hei.’

  She rose and held her hands out. A box wrapped in red and gold paper appeared in them. ‘Cookies. For the Princess.’

  ‘Daujie,’ he said, speaking Cantonese. ‘We still have an hour before dinner, and the other game in the training room needs a fourth.’

  ‘Is the Tiger on that table?’

  ‘No.’

  She nodded. ‘Then I will play.’ She held a lai see out to me.

  I shook my head and raised my hands. ‘Not necessary, my Lady.’

  ‘Take it,’ she said, pushing it towards me with a small smile.

  ‘Take it, Emma,’ Mr Chen said.

  I sighed with exasperation and took the lai see. That was the fourth one I’d received that day.

  ‘Lady,’ Mr Chen said, indicating the training room.

  She nodded and headed down the hall to the mah jong games.

  ‘They’re just having fun,’ Mr Chen whispered to me. ‘Let them. You’re a younger unmarried member of the household.’

  ‘They’re just tormenting me,’ I whispered back. ‘That too.’

  ‘You have any idea how much is in these?’

  ‘If there’s less than five thousand dollars in any of them except the Tiger’s, tell me.’

  ‘How did you know the Tiger didn’t give me that much? He only gave me twenty dollars, a token.’

  ‘You work it out, Emma.’ He left me and went into the training room.

  ‘Oh.’

  Qing Long and Zhu Que were mortified when I sat at the table with everybody for the New Year feast.

  ‘You always allow Retainers to share meals with your Generals, Ah Wu?’ Qing Long said.

  ‘She is a member of the family,’ Mr Chen said, and that was that.

  Two weeks later we went to collect Leo from the airport. He insisted on driving us home and Mr Chen didn’t argue.

  ‘Did you have fun?’ I said. ‘Did you see everybody? They didn’t try anything, did they?’ Leo pointedly ignored me.

  ‘Did you just go to Chicago, or did you go anywhere else?’

  Leo drove without saying anything. ‘Did you see your brothers and sisters? Do you have any brothers and sisters?’

  ‘Leave me alone,’ Leo snapped.

  ‘You will show us photos though, Leo,’ Mr Chen said. ‘Yes, sir, I will,’ Leo said with resignation. When we were home, and Leo had put his bag in his room, Simone and I sat on either side of him on the couch. Mr Chen leaned on the back of the couch, looking over our shoulders.

  ‘This is my mother and two of my older sisters.’ He pulled out another photo. ‘The other sister, and my brother.’

  ‘How many nieces and nephews do you have, Leo?’ I asked, seeing all the smiling children.

  He quickly worked it out. ‘About fifteen.’

  ‘You’re one of five?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Oldest? Youngest?’ ‘Youngest.’

  I looked at his mother, a kind, smiling woman. ‘Why aren’t there any photos of your father?’

  ‘He died when I was fifteen,’ Leo said. ‘Enough.’ He took the photos into his room and didn’t come out for a long time.

  A couple of weeks later I met April in the lobby of the hotel in Causeway Bay. ‘Where’s Louise?’ I said.

  ‘She’s not coming. I wanted to talk to you by yourself.’

  We went up the escalators into the upmarket Chinese restaurant and were seated at a table large enough for eight, some distance from the nearest diners. The waiter provided us with a list of the yum cha snacks; there weren’t trolleys, we had to fill out the order.

  As soon as the waiter left us, April grabbed my hand. She held it so tight it was painful. Her face was rigid with control.

  ‘What is it, April?’

  ‘I’m pregnant.’

  ‘That’s wonderful!’ I cried. ‘Just what you wanted. What does Andy think?’

  She looked down at the table. ‘He wants an abortion. He wants me to lose this baby.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ I said softly. ‘He doesn’t want you to abort it because it’s a girl, does he?’

  ‘He has another wife, Emma. He already has a son with her. He said he doesn’t want any more boys. He wants a girl.’

  I inhaled sharply. ‘Another wife?’

  ‘He has a lot of girls on the Mainland, as well as the other wife. He didn’t come to Australia at Chinese New Year, so I came here to see him. He picked me up at the hotel and brought the other wife along. Just to shame me.’

  I was speechless.

  ‘And he says that since he has a son with her, he doesn’t want another boy. This child is a boy—I found out from the ultrasound in January. He says lose it, have another. If I have a girl, he’ll drop the other wife and come to Australia.’

  ‘I thought boys were better.’

  ‘Not for him. He’s in a bad business. If he has a son, then the son may become involved. He doesn’t want that.’

  ‘Bad business?’

  She dropped her voice. ‘Triad business.’r />
  ‘Oh my God, he’s a gangster?’ I hissed softly.

  She waved it away; unimportant. ‘I’m his wife. I have nothing to do with his business. That’s his business.’ The despair showed for a fleeting second. ‘What am I going to do, Emma? Should I do what he asks? If I have a girl for him, he’ll keep me. We’ll be a family. Or I could divorce him and forget about it. I had plenty of men ask me out when I was in Australia.’

  I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Or I could keep the baby. Once he sees the baby, he’ll be happy, I know he will. He loves me. We’ll be a family.’

  ‘What do your family say?’

  ‘They say I should stay with him, that I’m the real wife. The other woman is just a mistress. His family, the houses of Kwok and Ho, are very wealthy. Very prestigious. My family gain a lot of face from the marriage.’

  ‘I can’t believe it.’

  ‘If I have the child then he can apply for Australian citizenship through the child. I don’t want him to be able to do that. Then he won’t need me.’

  The dim sum arrived and she tucked into them as if nothing was amiss. ‘The morning sickness isn’t too bad now. It was bad a few weeks ago.’ She poured the tea. ‘And what about you, Emma? You have a man? Louise said you had something with this Chen man, but I don’t think you’re that stupid, involved with the employer. You have another man?’

  ‘No. Nobody.’

  ‘You in love with your employer.’ It wasn’t a question.

  I looked down at the table. I didn’t know what to say.

  ‘Any chance?’

  I hesitated. I shook my head.

  ‘You are a stupid, Emma,’ April said.

  I didn’t move. She was right.

  ‘Eat,’ she said, waving her chopsticks at the steamers. ‘I saw a fortune teller last week, he said my face is very happy. Both of us will be happy.’

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  Once Chinese New Year had finished and things in the Chen household returned to their usual chaotic normality, Mr Chen started me on energy work.

  ‘Sit,’ he said, gesturing towards the centre of the mats in the training room. He sat cross-legged across from me. He was silent for a while, looking down, and I waited.