It's a Fugly Life

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  He gave her a stern look.

  “See you back in Chicago.” She disappeared out the door.

  “Finally, we’re alone.” Max walked over to the door, closed it, and turned the lock. He faced me with a very hard look in his eyes. “Now you and I are going to talk.”

  Oh goodie. More drama. Just what I was hoping for.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “About what?”

  His eyes flickered with annoyance. “What do you mean you don’t want to get married?” he growled and reached for the top button of his pants.

  I smiled. Get ready to buy some ice, Lily.

  Max wasted absolutely no time in getting my running shoes off, my shorts down, and me up against the wall. I’d heard people talk about makeup sex before, but until he thrust himself into me, burying his cock as far as my body would allow, I didn’t fully understand. Now I did.

  Holding me up by the legs, he slid out, leaving only the tip of his shaft inside me, and then slammed into me again. I let out a soft moan as his thickness and length rubbed against my inner walls with a forcefulness that I hadn’t seen from him before.

  At first it was a shock, feeling him hammer into me like that, angry or something. But with each stroke of his hard cock, I felt what he felt. So much emotion had built up inside me, I needed to let it out. I needed to let go. Because, dammit, I was still really pissed about how he’d taken the news of my pregnancy.

  Angry sex rocks.

  “Harder, Max.” I gripped his shoulders, pushing my body into him while he fucked me. I gasped and panted, trying not to come as the tip of his head repeatedly drove against that throbbing spot deep inside. Instead, I focused on the feel of him entering my body, driving his emotions and lust into me with every angry thrust.

  He withdrew and lowered my feet to the floor. “I want to look at all of you. I love looking at you.” He tore my shirt over my head. I unclasped my bra to move things along while he ripped off his shirt.

  His eyes took me in, starting at my toes, moving up my thighs to the cleft between my legs, and then to my breasts. “God, I love those tits.”

  He pulled me into him and lifted me again. With my arms around his neck and our mouths locked in a frenzy of hot needy kisses, he carried me to the bedroom and lowered me onto the bed. The moment my body hit the mattress, he drove his cock deep into my body.

  I gasped with pleasure. Holy hell. He felt so good.

  I moved my hands down his muscular back, enjoying the feel of his heavy body pushing me down and his smooth skin under my palms.

  Pistoning his hips at a furious pace, he threaded his fingers with mine. “You’re mine, Lily. Say it. Say you’re mine.”

  With his dick inside me and my c-spot on the verge of sending me shooting off like a rocket, I knew this was the moment he was waiting for: Me at his mercy.

  “Say it,” he repeated with a deliciously forceful thrust of his thick shaft.

  “I’m yours,” I panted my words.

  “Say it again.” He drove into me, deeper this time.

  Oh God. Almost there. Almost there. “I’m yours,” I moaned my words.

  “We’re getting married next week.”

  Huh?

  “Say it,” he demanded.

  At that exact same moment, his cock hit that magical spot deep inside me and his pelvis hit my c-spot. Every nerve ending exploded with crippling ecstasy and radiated out to every limb all the way to the tips of my toes and fingers. “Yes. Oh, God. Yes.”

  He worked his shaft with just the right amount of pressure, extracting wave after wave of contractions. I couldn’t see straight. My nails dug into his shoulders.

  He grunted with his release and pumped his cum inside me, triggering one more sensual wave of my own release.

  At that moment, all I knew was that having our bodies tangled together, the sound of his deep masculine voice flowing through my ears, the delicious scent of his fresh sweat and expensive cologne permeating my nose, would be the one thing in my life I could never get enough of. There was no replacement for him, for this, for us.

  Several long moments passed before Max dropped his head on my shoulder, letting out a long breath.

  “Wow. That was…intense,” I muttered, still enjoying the feel of him inside me and of us together.

  “It’s only going to get better.” He lifted his head and looked at me. “You know that, don’t you?”

  It took a moment for me to realize that he wasn’t talking about sex. He was talking about us. And probably him. Maybe even me.

  I brushed the hair from his forehead and stared at him. He was so beautiful. Now more than ever.

  “Yeah,” I said softly, “I know.”

  “Good.” He pulled out, got up from the bed, and swiped his jeans from the floor. He returned and looked down at me. “Because I meant what I said. We are getting married next week.”

  “What’s the hurry?” I had enough to worry about.

  He kneeled beside the bed, planted his elbows next to me, and held out a small black box. “Lily, you need to know I’m in it with you one hundred percent. I won’t ever turn my back on you again. I won’t ever shut you out again. Even if it’s not easy and humiliating for me, I won’t hide from you when I feel afraid.” He opened the box and revealed a ridiculously large engagement ring.

  “You’re proposing. Naked?” I sat up, still naked myself.

  “Seems appropriate, don’t you think?” He flashed his trademark, charming smile that displayed his dimples and made his eyes light up. I could look at that smile the rest of my life and never tire of it.

  “The naked part is wonderful. And so is that ring.” It had a huge princess-cut stone surrounded by tiny diamonds, giving it a vintage feel. “But we don’t need to get married.”

  “Uh-uh. I’m not taking any more chances, Lily. I am not risking losing you again.” He slid the ring from the case, grabbed my left hand, and slid it effortlessly onto my ring finger.

  “It’s perfect,” I said with a sigh.

  He kissed the top of my hand. “Exactly like you, Lily.”

  I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “I love you, Max.”

  “I hope so. Because I am never letting go of you again.”

  After our little—okay, very unlittle—romp, Max and I took a shower, ate, and then called Keri to let her know we’d both be flying back to Chicago that evening on the red-eye. She was ecstatic, of course, because everyone at LLL had been busting their asses to get the company up and running. But when Max took the phone and told Keri he needed help getting a wedding booked for next weekend, here in Santa Barbara, Keri went ape-shit happy. I could hear the shrieking from three feet away.

  “Nothing big or fancy, Keri. I want small, quiet, no press. Got it?” He grinned at me and then ended the call. “I hope that’s okay?”

  “You have no idea how badly I do not want a big fussy wedding. Thank you.”

  He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. “You sure? Because I’m ready to give you anything you want.”

  “I’ve got you. That’s more than enough.”

  “And in about eight months, we are going to have someone new to love,” he said.

  “Life is completely surreal.”

  He pinched my chin and tipped my head up. “Just remember, Lily, whatever happens from here on out, we’re in it together—good, bad, ugly.”

  I stared up into his eyes. “Are you worried?”

  “I won’t lie. Yes.”

  “But I’m sure you’ll keep your disorder in check. Look how far you’ve come.”

  “I’m not worried about me,” he said. “I’m worried about you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I know you. And I know how hard it is for you to accept that you truly deserve the good things in your life—including us.”

  I nodded, understanding where he was coming from. “Well, every journey starts with one step, and today I stepped toward you.” I smiled, feeling like through all of th
is drama and emotional pain, I’d taken a part of me back and diminished the power that ugly voice had over me. “I’m just not ready to step toward your mother. She’s scary.”

  Max chuckled. “Not to worry. She knows she can’t be a part of our life in any way until we’re convinced she belongs there. We’ve got a long way to go.”

  I wasn’t so sure I’d ever want her in my life, but seeing Max take control of this very difficult part of his past made me proud. And I guess it inspired me a little, too. It took a lot of strength to confront one’s fears. Especially for Max, who never even wanted to admit when he felt afraid. It was too imperfect in his mind to feel anything but confident. I think that was maybe why he’d retreated when I told him I was pregnant. He’d felt ashamed to show me anything but strength, something he couldn’t do after watching his sister lose her baby and almost die.

  Well, with time, he’d get used to the fact that I didn’t need him to be perfect. I only needed him to be there.

  Max glanced at his watch. “You and I have a company to build and a plane to catch.”

  I grabbed my suitcase filled with clothes I’d shoved inside. I’d have to go shopping later because I did not have the right wardrobe for this new role I’d be taking on.

  “Hey, by the way, how much money am I going to pay myself?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” He grabbed one of my suitcases.

  I lifted a brow. “Nothing? I have to make some money.”

  He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “You’re marrying me.” He opened the front door to my apartment.

  “I’m not going to sponge off of you. That’s weird.”

  He shook his head as I passed him, wheeling my second suitcase.

  He closed the door. “I see we’re going to have to work on your idea of marriage, Miss Snow.”

  “Ha. Okay, Mr. Cole.”

  “Starting with taking up one residence and getting rid of your revolting furniture.”

  “Oh, we’re so keeping my thrift-store gems. We’ll put them in the nursery.” I was joking of course, but watching Max hold back his urge to retch was priceless.

  “If it makes you happy, Lily. Then I’m all in.”

  The next week, Max and I worked long hours—me not as much as him because he insisted I rest a little more than usual. Still, we managed to get up early, run together, which we loved, and put some very productive hours in at the office, including very hot sex over my awesome new desk at lunchtime. Honestly, I didn’t know if it was the hormones, the new vitamins I was taking, or simply the bliss of feeling like my life was in a good place with the man I loved, but I just couldn’t get enough of him. If I were a dude, I would’ve been walking around with a baseball-bat-sized erection in my pants all day long.

  Thankfully, being the manly stud that Max was, he didn’t mind one bit, helping me with my endless sexual need. He was ready to serve selflessly.

  “Yes, hard, hard work, keeping you satisfied, Lily,” as he’d say.

  Anyway, we still managed to get the leases signed, materials ordered for the new locations, and have meetings with key retailers—ones who would carry our merchandise in strategic cities where we did not plan to open stores of our own. I spoke to my mother about running Lily’s Pad, and she had the great idea of adding LLL’s products, too. “Are you sure, Mom? I mean running a store is a lot of work,” I’d said. “Now you want to run two stores in one?”

  “Honey, I spent most of my life taking care of you guys. For the first time, I’m doing something I enjoy for me. Of course, I do want a raise and we need to hire part-time help, but I wouldn’t dream of letting my shop go.”

  How cute, I’d thought. She’d called it her shop. I supposed now it was. “You got it, Mom. See you Saturday.”

  “Oh, I can’t believe you’re getting married on Sunday,” she’d squealed. “And I can’t wait to show everyone pictures.”

  “Mom, you didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

  “No. Of course not. Just the girls.”

  Oh crap. That was something like twenty people. And possibly every person who entered the store.

  “Mom! It’s supposed to be a secret.”

  “Oh, now. They won’t tell a soul.”

  Those women gossiped so much, they put tabloids to shame. “I guess it’s too late to do anything about it.”

  “Oh, you’re such a worrywart,” she said.

  Me? The queen of worrying had called me a worrywart? Wow, times really are changing.

  She continued, “It’s going to be wonderful, Lily. You just focus on your special day with friends and family.”

  In all, we’d invited only eighteen people—my immediate family; two of my good friends, who I’d known since elementary school, and their plus ones; and Danny and Calvin. From Max’s side, he had invited his father (we weren’t ready for his mother); Keri and her boyfriend; and a few friends of his—one of them who I knew well: Mark Douglas. Mark had also been my mentor in college and was the person who’d recommended me for a job at CC. Max also invited his sister, but we both knew she wasn’t quite in the best of shape to travel. We’d promised to visit her in a month or so, but Max spoke to her every day and threatened regularly to make her move back to the States. She’d said she might consider it but needed time. I knew Max would eventually persuade her because he always got his way and seemed genuinely excited to have her back in his life. Now that he’d begun thinking about family, I knew part of him wouldn’t feel content until she and her husband were a part of ours.

  As for the wedding, I’ll be honest. When I was little, I’d dreamt of the big to-do, but now, simply having Max felt big enough. The rest of the church could be empty, and I’d be on cloud nine.

  “See you in a few days, Mom. And no more telling.”

  Of course, that hadn’t happened. The next day, we began seeing articles pop up in the tabloids (Keri kept an eye on that for us), and the vultures began circling outside the LLL building.

  By Friday night, we had a swarm of them outside Max’s home when we pulled up in the town car with Callahan at the wheel.

  “They won’t go inside, will they?” I asked.

  “No, Lily.” Max patted my hand. “They know they cannot trespass.”

  “But why are they even here? Who gives a crap about us getting married other than us?”

  Max nodded. “Apparently enough people that these photographers feel it necessary to stalk us everywhere we go.” He gave me a reassuring look. “Don’t worry. They’ll move on in a few days. I promise.”

  The car pulled forward, passed the gate, and we headed inside.

  “You hungry?” Max asked, loosening his red silk tie while I kicked off my black heels right in the foyer.

  “Yes. But not for food.” My eyes washed over his body. I wanted nothing more than to rip his gray dress shirt and those very expensive-looking slacks from his tight body.

  “Well, I suppose we could get a little fucking in before eating.” He approached me and pulled me into his arms. Then he froze.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “This is our last night together as single people.”

  “You’re single?” I scowled. Because I sure the hell wasn’t.

  “I merely meant unmarried.”

  “In that case, I suppose you’re right, but what’s a wedding when you’ve got someone’s seed growing inside you?”

  He made a sour face. “Seed?”

  “That really is a horrible thing to call a baby, isn’t it?”

  “It’s barbaric.” He leaned down and kissed me. “Just like the things I’m going to do to you in exactly two minutes.”

  “Barbaric, huh?” I liked the sound of that.

  “You are carrying my child, so we can dial it down to barbaric light. Only a bit of spanking and nipple pinching.”

  “I suppose I can make that happen.” I reached out and tweaked his nipple through his shirt.

  “Uh-uh. Mr. Cole doesn’t pla
y that.” He swatted my hand away and laughed.

  “I’m not sure I like your tone, Mr. Cole. What’s good for the goose, and all that…”

  He shook his head, reached for my arm, and bent at the knees, tugging me towards him. He didn’t slam me over his shoulder, but at the same time, I couldn’t wiggle away.

  Before I knew it, he was carrying me up the stairs.

  “Hey!” I protested.

  He yanked up my favorite brown skirt and smacked me hard on the ass. “Shut up. You’re not allowed to speak.”

  I couldn’t see his face, but I heard the smile. “Ha. Ha. Funny, Mr. Cole.”

  We reached his—I mean our—bedroom, and he lowered me to my feet.

  I looked up at him. “I hope you’re ready for some hot nipple action.” I made little crab claws with my hands.

  He pushed me back into the bed. “It’s our last night together before the wedding. The only thing I’m planning on is fucking you senseless so there’s no chance of you getting cold feet.”

  I propped myself up on my elbows. “You think I’m going to get cold feet?”

  “I know you will, Lily. And I know that marrying me is a huge leap of faith. But I believe in us, and I know you won’t fuck it up this time.”

  I almost felt like getting angry, but he and I had always been brutally honest with each other. It was the foundation of our relationship. “No. I won’t fuck it up this time.”

  “Good.” He slid his hand up inside my skirt and tugged down my black panties. “Now be quiet while I get to work.”

  I grinned at his playful alpha talk. I loved this man. I loved him more than anything. Which was why I’d allow him to think he was in charge.

  At least for one more night.

  The wedding would be a simple ceremony in a nondenominational church right down the street from the small beachside restaurant where we’d have our reception dinner. I loved the sound of everything being quiet and intimate. Just our closest friends coming for a nice meal while we laughed, ate, and watched the sun go down. I mentally blocked out the fact some press would be lurking outside. I would simply pretend they didn’t exist. Nothing would ruin this day. Because when I stepped back and reflected, the fact that this man, whom I loved so much, loved me back, well…I still couldn’t quite believe it. Not that I didn’t have anything to offer him, but he literally could have almost anyone. Hot model, gorgeous actresses—pretty much anyone with a pulse who was into men would at the very least consider him.