Thea at Sixteen

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  Kip and his family arrived on schedule. He carried Gina in his arms, and once again, Thea was taken aback by how small and frail Gina was. In the past month, the leukemia had obviously gotten worse, but Gina was clearly thrilled to be out of the hospital, to be at Thea’s house for Thanksgiving.

  Neither Mrs. Dozier nor Dani seemed nearly as pleased to be there. Thea had seen Dani at school, where she had a kind of trampy charm to her, but today she’d troweled the makeup on, and it was hard to see that there was a pretty fifteen-year-old buried under the cosmetics. Mrs. Dozier simply looked ill at ease.

  But Nicky was determined to be the perfect host, and once he got the Doziers settled into the living room, they had no choice but to relax, get comfortable, become part of the occasion. Thea was chased out of the kitchen, and she joined them in the living room.

  “Can I see your bedroom?” Gina asked. “I want to see your room and Sybil’s.”

  “They’re upstairs,” Thea said. “That’s a long distance for Kip to carry you.”

  “I’ll help,” Scotty said. “If it’s all right with Kip. We can turn ourselves into a human ski lift and carry Gina between us.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Kip said. They shared Gina’s weight and carried her carefully up the stairs.

  “I can walk,” Gina told Scotty. “I’m not crippled.”

  “But this way you look like a queen,” Scotty said. “You know Gina is a nickname for Regina, and Regina means queen.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Gina said to Kip. “You never told me that.”

  “It slipped my mind,” Kip said.

  “From now on don’t call me pumpkin,” Gina said. “Call me queen.”

  “Pumpkin queen,” Kip said. “Who’s bedroom is this?”

  “Sybil and Claire’s,” Thea replied. “It’s not my style.” At least it isn’t red, she thought. Claire had insisted on red bedrooms for three years running.

  “It’s pretty,” Gina said. “Now let me see yours.”

  So Thea led them to her bedroom. Gina smiled as soon as she saw it. “This is what I want my room to look like,” she declared. “Just like this, with lace curtains and teddy bears and all those pretty pictures.”

  “It is pretty,” Kip said.

  “You’ve never seen it?” Scotty asked.

  “No,” Kip said. “I’ve only been here once.”

  Scotty smiled. Thea looked at him and Kip and wished she was the one they were carrying.

  “Had enough of the tour?” Kip asked Gina.

  “Yes,” Gina said. “Carry me down all by yourself, Kip.”

  “Sure,” Kip said. He and Scotty shifted positions, and they proceeded downstairs.

  Thea was delighted to see Nicky, Clark, and Mrs. Dozier sitting in the living room together, obviously exchanging comfortable small talk. Dani was in the dining room, eyeing Sam. If Evvie minded, it didn’t show.

  Claire sat next to Gina on the sofa, and got into a conversation with her about the latest issue of TV Dreamstars. Sybil and Megs were building a fire in the rarely used fireplace. Thea stood at the dining room doorway and smiled.

  “This is very nice of your family,” Kip said. “To have us here.”

  “It’s nice of you to come,” Thea replied. “Doesn’t everything look perfect?”

  “It sure does,” Kip said. “You know, even before Gina got sick, we never had a Thanksgiving like this.”

  “Neither have we,” Evvie said as she and Sam walked over to them. “All this hoopla is a first for us, too.”

  “Thanksgivings were always deadly in my home,” Sam said. “It was just me and my grandparents, so there was nothing special about it.”

  “You grew up with your grandparents?” Kip asked.

  Sam nodded. “They’re very nice people,” he declared. “But on holidays, you want more.”

  “You want what they have on TV,” Kip said. “You want all this.”

  “I know,” Evvie said. “This is just a television Thanksgiving. I feel like I’m in a Star Trek episode. You know, the kind where everything looks like what it’s supposed to be, but it’s really just a facade.”

  “What do you mean?” Kip asked.

  “This is so much Nicky’s idea of Thanksgiving,” Evvie declared. “Megs’s, too, for that matter. She spent her Thanksgivings with Aunt Grace.”

  “The Spanish Inquisition was probably more fun,” Sam said.

  “But it’s all so storybook perfect,” Evvie said. “The turkey and the pies and Megs’s grandmother’s china. There’s no reality to any of this.”

  “That turkey had better be real,” Sam said. “I’m starving.”

  “There must be something for you to nosh,” Evvie said. “Go check in the kitchen.” She kissed Sam goodbye as he left the room, and then she turned to her sister. “Nosh,” she said. “I now know thirty-two different Yiddish words and expressions, except I still get kibitz and kibbutz mixed up.”

  “Oops,” Sam said, walking rapidly back into the dining room. “Uh, Kip, I didn’t realize your sister knew Scotty.”

  “She doesn’t,” Kip said.

  “Oh,” Sam said, trying not to grin. “She certainly is the friendly type, then.”

  “I’ll kill her,” Kip said, and he ran into the kitchen. Thea could hear Dani’s muffled protests, and what sounded like an embarrassed apology from Scotty. It was hard to tell, since Sam was laughing. In a moment, Scotty joined them in the dining room, wiping lipstick off most of his face. Sam kept laughing.

  “Men,” Evvie said to Thea. “Is Dani safe in there?”

  “I don’t know,” Thea said. It took courage, but she walked into the kitchen to see how things were. Dani was standing against the kitchen door, and Kip was inches away from her, whispering angrily.

  “Kip, relax,” Thea said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

  Kip whirled around, and for a moment Thea thought he was going to hit her. “This is family,” he said. “Leave us alone.”

  “Calm down,” Thea said. “Nobody got hurt.”

  “What do you know?” Kip asked her.

  “I know you’re getting angry over very little,” Thea said. “I know if you don’t calm down, you’re going to ruin Thanksgiving for everybody. Megs is going to be back here any minute, and you don’t want her to see you like this.”

  “I’m not through with you, Dani,” Kip said, but he moved away from her, allowing her to inch out. Dani smirked, then sauntered out of the kitchen. “I’m sorry,” Kip said to Thea. “I told Dani she had to behave herself, but I guess she figured that meant throwing herself at boys and not men.”

  “Good,” Thea said. “Clark wouldn’t stand a chance against her. Now wash your face with cold water, and let’s join everyone else.”

  Kip followed her instructions, and walked with her to the living room.

  “Daisy, isn’t it time we began serving dinner?” Nick asked. “I, for one, am famished.”

  “I, for two, am famished,” Dani said.

  “Come on, Kip,” Nick said. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen and start carrying things out. Daisy, come with us and show us what to take.”

  “No!” Gina said. “I don’t want Kip to go.”

  “He’s only going to the kitchen,” Nick said. “Come on. Why don’t we get you settled into the dining room, and then you’ll be able to see Kip in the kitchen.”

  “I don’t feel good,” Gina said.

  Kip immediately went to her side. “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  “It’s so cold,” Gina said. “Why is it so cold?”

  Kip felt her forehead. “She’s running a fever,” he said. “We’d better get her back right away.”

  “Maybe it’s just the excitement,” Clark said. “Why don’t we wait a few minutes, and see how Gina feels then.”

  “We can’t take that chance,” Kip said. “Thea, I’m sorry, but we’ve got to go.”

  “I know,” Thea said.

  “Dani, call the cab company,
” Kip said. “Mom, get the coats. We’re leaving now.”

  “I don’t want to leave,” Dani said. “Just because stupid Gina’s sick again doesn’t mean I have to go, too.”

  “Don’t worry about a cab,” Nick said. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

  “Kip, I’m scared!” Gina cried. “I wanna go home.”

  “Mom, get the goddam coats,” Kip said. “Dani, move it. Thanks for the lift, Mr. Sebastian. Relax, Gina, and don’t worry. We’ll get you back to the hospital right away.”

  “I hurt all over,” Gina said. “Kip?”

  “I’m right here, pumpkin,” Kip said. He lifted Gina off the sofa and with Sam’s help carried her out of the house. Dani and Mrs. Dozier trailed behind him. Mrs. Dozier was crying.

  Thea followed them to the car. She’d left her coat behind, and it was cold outside. “Do you want me to go with you?” she asked.

  “Don’t bother,” Kip said. “Stay with your family.”

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Nick said. “Relax, everyone. We’ll get Gina back to the hospital in no time.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Sebastian,” Mrs. Dozier said. “You’re a true gentleman.”

  “Why do I have to leave?” Dani asked. Thea couldn’t hear the reply because Nicky had turned the ignition on. He began backing the car out of the driveway. She stood outside watching them drive off, and then opened the kitchen door and walked back in.

  “I feel awful,” Meg said, and she put her arm around Thea’s shoulder. “Do you think it was too much for her, coming here today?”

  “The doctors wouldn’t have let her come if they’d thought she was too ill,” Clark said.

  What do you know, Thea thought, but there was no point in confronting Clark. He was only trying to make Megs feel better. That was Clark’s primary function in life, at least the way he saw it.

  “She must be very weak for Kip to have moved so quickly,” Sam said. “She can’t have much time left.”

  “Weeks,” Thea replied, praying it was that long. Only Megs’s embrace kept her from weeping.

  “It was dumb of her to come,” Sybil declared. “She’s sick and sick people should stay in the hospital.”

  “And leave healthy people alone?” Thea asked.

  “It wasn’t my idea to have her come,” Sybil replied. “Now, maybe she’ll die.”

  “I’m sorry,” Scotty said. “She might have gotten upset because Kip got angry.”

  “About what?” Claire asked.

  “About none of your business,” Thea said.

  “I’m going to find out eventually,” Claire said. “You might as well tell me now.”

  “You might as well stop snooping,” Thea shouted.

  Evvie looked at her family and friends. “Next year,” she said to Sam, “Thanksgiving at your grandparents’.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Thea panicked when she found Gina’s bed empty. Her first thought was that Gina had died and no one had thought to tell her. Who was she supposed to ask?

  She looked around the ward, but couldn’t force herself to ask the other kids. So she walked to the corridor and found a nurse.

  “They moved Gina,” the nurse told her. “She’s in room fourteen B.”

  “She’s worse,” Thea said. There was no point in phrasing it as a question.

  The nurse nodded. “She won’t be coming back here,” she said. “Her family is with her now.”

  Thea nodded and found her way to 14B. Dani was sitting outside the room. “It’s you,” she said. “Still mad about yesterday?”

  “I wasn’t mad,” Thea told her. “How’s Gina?”

  “Croaking,” Dani said with a shrug. “Same as always. Kip’s in there with her. I guess you’re here to see him.”

  “I guess so,” Thea replied. “Can I go in?”

  “Sure,” Dani said. “But be careful. It smells of death in there.”

  Thea wanted to ask how Dani knew what death smelled like, but as soon as she opened the door, she could see what Dani meant. It was a room for dying, and its air was different, more oppressive than the rest of the hospital.

  “Dani said I could come in,” she whispered to Kip. He was sitting by Gina’s bed, holding her hand.

  Kip nodded. Gina was sleeping or unconscious. Thea couldn’t be sure which. She was pale, and the only sign of life left in her was her feverish condition, the sweat on her forehead, the occasional, almost angry, jerks her body made.

  “Where’s your mother?” Thea asked. Megs would be there with her daughter, she knew.

  “Out somewhere,” Kip said. “I don’t know.”

  “How are you doing?” Thea asked.

  “I’m fine,” he replied. “We’re all fine. Sorry about yesterday.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Thea said. She reached over and touched his hand, but Kip didn’t seem to notice. “Have you gotten any sleep since yesterday?”

  “She sleeps better when I’m in the room,” Kip said. “I nod off occasionally. It isn’t for that much longer.”

  “What happened?” Thea asked. “It wasn’t because of us, was it?”

  Kip shook his head. “She shouldn’t have gone,” he said. “But we knew that at the time. We just all denied it. The doctors, too. We wanted her to have that … that last taste of normalcy. But she’s been getting weaker and weaker.”

  “I’m sorry,” Thea said.

  “Don’t be,” Kip said. “At least I won’t have to buy any Christmas presents.”

  “Oh, Kip,” Thea said, and the sound of her voice roused Gina.

  “Dani?” she whispered.

  “No, honey, it’s me,” Thea said. “Thea. Do you want to see Dani? She’s right outside.”

  “Thea,” Gina said. She reached for Thea, who gave her her hand to hold. Gina’s touch was terrifying, filled with sickness. Thea marveled that Kip could sit there holding her hand without flinching.

  “I wanted to see you,” Thea said. “We worried about you yesterday.”

  Kip shook his head. “Gina doesn’t remember about yesterday,” he said.

  “How’s Sybil?” Gina asked, and her voice gained strength, and sounded almost normal.

  “She’s fine,” Thea said. “She’s at home collecting candy wrappers. I told you about the wrappers.”

  “Sybil,” Gina said. She closed her eyes, and Thea thought she’d drifted off again. “Angels in heaven like Sybil,” she murmured.

  “Beautiful angels,” Thea said. “Just like you.”

  “Mommy’s gone,” Gina said. “Daddy’s gone. Just you and Sybil and angels.”

  “Kip’s here,” Thea said. “See, he’s sitting right by you, holding your hand.”

  “Kip,” Gina said. “Kip and Thea and angels. I like angels. They’re pretty.”

  “So are you,” Thea said. She had no idea what she was saying or even why. Megs could handle this, she thought, and I’m like Megs. “You’re so pretty, Gina, and so sweet. I love you, you know.”

  Gina seemed to nod. “Angels,” she said. “Angels in heaven with me.” Her breathing became heavier, and Thea saw that she was sleeping again.

  “She drifts in and out,” Kip said. “So do Mom and Dani.”

  “Is there anything I can do?” Thea asked.

  “No,” Kip said. “Frankly, I’m surprised you even bothered showing up.”

  “Kip, don’t do that,” Thea said. “I’m part of this, and you damn well know it.”

  “Yeah,” Kip said. “You might as well go now. And if you see Dani out there, tell her to get Mom. I sent her to the cafeteria an hour ago, but there’s a chance she might still be there.”

  “I’ll tell her,” Thea said, but when she left the room, Dani was nowhere to be seen. So Thea walked to the cafeteria and found Dani and her mother together.

  “Kip thinks you should go back now,” she said to Mrs. Dozier. She felt presumptuous, but there was no other way for Kip’s message to be delivered.

  Mrs. Dozier nodded.
She looked accustomed to being bullied. “I will in a minute,” she said. “Let me finish my coffee.”

  “Don’t rush on her account, Ma,” Dani said. “She’s nobody to tell you what to do.”

  “It’s for Kip,” Mrs. Dozier said. “He wants me there.”

  “That makes it all right, then,” Dani said. “Whatever Kip wants, Kip gets.”

  Thea resisted the urge to slug Dani. “I’m going home now,” she said to Mrs. Dozier. “Please call me if there’s anything I can do.”

  “Thank you,” Mrs. Dozier said, and to Thea’s surprise, she took Thea’s hand and squeezed it. “You’ve been so sweet to us, so understanding.”

  “She’s a saint,” Dani said.

  “Compared to you she is,” Mrs. Dozier said. “Please, when all this is over with, come for supper sometime.”

  “All right,” Thea said. “I have to go now. I’ll see you later.”

  “You’re an angel,” Mrs. Dozier called after her, but Thea didn’t turn around. She walked as fast as she could out of the hospital, and then jogged the rest of the way home.

  Her house was still bustling with guests and activities, and Thea felt as alien there as she had in the hospital room. Sybil was putting on her jacket as Thea walked in. “Where are you going?” Thea asked.

  “On the great candy-wrapper hunt,” Sybil replied. “Sam’s coming with me.”

  “May I join you?” Thea asked. “I have great eyes for candy wrappers.”

  Sybil scowled. “Too many people and we’ll all end up talking and not looking,” she said.

  “I promise I’ll look,” Thea said.