Not that she had any clue whether he was thick or not, but this was her fantasy, right?
Not too long, but nice and fat.
Just right.
Did she just rhyme that? Idiot.
She moved her fingers away from her pussy, concerned that he’d heard her groan.
Please be asleep.
Please be asleep.
She knew she’d never be able to face him in the morning if he’d heard her make sex noises. There was no coming back from sex noises.
But he didn’t call out or knock on the door, so she let out a sigh of relief. Okay, he was obviously asleep. Thank goodness.
Still, probably better if she did that sort of thing when she was on her own from now on. Getting out of bed, she hopped carefully into the attached bathroom and used the toilet before washing her hands. She needed to change her panties since they were soaked. Just as well she’d brought plenty of pairs with her.
She had a feeling this could be a constant occurrence.
11
“Are you sure you’ll be all right?” Razor asked the following morning.
“I’ll be fine.” She was finishing up the scrambled eggs he’d made her. Damn, she could get used to this. The man could cook. She thought she’d mastered scrambled eggs, but all she’d done was stir some eggs together and put them in a pan with butter.
Razor had taken them to the next level, mixing in some cream and chives and serving them on thick cuts of sourdough bread.
She was in heaven.
“Lois, my next-door neighbor, will check in on you a few times. I’m also going to come home at lunch as well.”
“No, you’re not,” she countered. “I don’t need anyone to check up on me.”
“You need toilet breaks.”
“I’m not a dog.” She glared at him.
“Luna will need toilet breaks too,” he pointed out. “Lois is in her seventies. She can let Luna out, but she can’t carry you to the toilet.”
“Nobody needs to carry me to the toilet.”
“Then how are you going to get there?” He reached for her empty plate, putting some more eggs and buttery toast on it.
“I couldn’t fit more in,” she protested, out of politeness than any genuine belief that she was full.
“Eat. You need to keep your strength up.”
“I’m not taking part in a marathon,” she told him. She swallowed the forkful of eggs that she was unaware of putting in her mouth. “And I can hop or crawl to the toilet.” It wouldn’t be nice on her grazed knees and hands, but she’d manage.
“I don’t like it. You could fall.”
“How am I going to fall if I’m crawling?”
“You shouldn’t be crawling. I mean, not unless you like crawling.”
What? What was he talking about? He took a sip of coffee. She reached for the smoothie he’d made her. Wow. That tasted so good.
“You have to teach me how to make this.”
“I will.” His lips twitched. “You finished?”
She glanced down at her empty plate. Well, darn it. When had she eaten all of that? Now she was full. She might need to lie down for a while. She fidgeted in her seat. It was going to be so hard not being able to jog.
“I don’t suppose you have any weights or anything?” she asked Razor.
“Weights?”
“I get antsy sitting around. Lots of restless energy. That’s why I jog every day.”
“When do you find time for that?” he asked as he loaded the dishwasher.
“I go each morning,” she told him as she checked her emails on her phone. Full of the usual junk and scams. She knew she needed to call Jared. Better he find out from her that she’d hurt herself. “I usually wake up around five-thirty then head out. I run for around an hour.”
There was silence and she looked up from her phone to stare over at Razor, who was glaring at her. What was his problem?
“It’s still dark at five-thirty in the morning.”
“The street lights provide plenty of light,” she countered. “And it’s starting to grow light by six.”
“Who do you go with?”
“Um, no one.”
His eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head. “No one? No one!”
Wasn’t that just what she’d said?
“Yes, I go on my own.”
“And you think that’s safe?” he asked in a low voice that had her sitting up straight. He was angry. Why was he angry?
“I have my pepper spray and stun gun, as well as my cell phone.”
“That makes all the difference then.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“Yes, I’m being sarcastic! Tabby, that’s not safe. Anyone could attack you.”
“But I told you, I have my pepper spray and stun gun!” Now she was starting to get mad. She wasn’t stupid.
He ran his hand over his face. “And what if you couldn’t get to the spray or stun gun in time? What if they were too close for the pepper spray but too far away to stun? What if there was more than one attacker? What if one person distracted you while the other one snuck up behind you? What if they had a damn weapon!”
“Well, I . . .”
“You didn’t think of any of that, did you?”
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought of it. It’s just that she thought it unlikely.
“There are usually other people around. There’s one guy that usually jogs at a similar time. And people commuting to work.”
“And if someone dragged you into an alley? If that jogger decided to attack you? What then? Baby, fuck!”
She rubbed at her ear in agitation. “I like running in the morning. It’s quiet and peaceful. I thought I was pretty careful.”
“Not careful enough, if something happened to you . . . you know that people would care, right?” he asked.
No, she didn’t really know that. Jared would.
“I would care. I’d care if something happened to you, Tabby.”
“You’d go to my funeral?” she whispered.
Something frantic filled his face and he placed his hands on the counter and leaned over. “There will be no funeral. Understand me!”
She nodded without thinking, wanting to placate him. Also, she didn’t want a funeral either. For the first time in what felt like years, she actually did care about more than how many people would mourn her loss.
“I don’t want to die,” she whispered.
“You will not die. I won’t have it.”
Oh, the arrogance in that statement was . . . delightful. A shiver of pleasure ran through her.
She wouldn’t die. He wouldn’t allow it.
Of course, he actually had no say. Sure, he was her boss and she was now staying at his house. But she’d go back to her own place, her own life soon enough.
However, knowing that he cared was everything.
“Okay, maybe I shouldn’t go jogging so early in the morning.”
“You will not go jogging that early anymore. I forbid it.”
“Um, pretty sure you can’t do that.”
“Pretty sure I just did. No more jogging in the dark. You shouldn’t be jogging alone at all. It’s not safe.”
“Who’s going to come with me?”
“I will.”
“Um.” She didn’t know how to say this without sounding mean, but . . .
“You don’t think I can jog? I can jog. Are you trying to call me old again?”
“No. I wouldn’t do that.” Nuh-uh, she’d learned that earlier. “You’re not old. You’re very fit looking. Especially for your age. Oh, crap, that came out wrong. It’s just, you don’t look like a jogger.”
“Are you being joggist?”
Was that a thing? No, it wasn’t. She narrowed her gaze at him. “How are you going to come jogging with me? You live thirty minutes away.”
“I’ll figure it out,” he muttered. “You’re not running on that foot anytime soon, anyway.” He glanced
at the clock. “Shit. Got to go. Let’s get you set up for the day.”
“I need to go brush my teeth,” she told him.
He carried her to the bathroom and thankfully left her alone while she brushed her teeth and peed. There was a knock on the door and she opened it. He frowned as he stared down at her, balancing on one foot.
“I don’t like you hopping around. You could fall over. How are your hands? Do you think you could use crutches?”
“Maybe.”
He suddenly picked her up around the waist and carried her over to the counter, sitting her on it. Then he drew the bandage off one of her palms. Crap, they still looked red and sore.
“That’s not happening for another day or so,” he told her. “But I’ll still pick some up for you.”
She thought it was overkill, but she was beginning to learn to pick her battles. He lifted her again and ten minutes later, she was settled on the sofa with a couple of books, some bike magazines that she’d insisted she wanted to read. Maybe she’d learn something. The TV remote was in easy reach, and he’d tucked a blanket around her.
Who knew that a tough biker guy could be such a fusspot?
“Need anything else?” he asked after setting her up with snacks, water and yuck, painkillers.
“Nope, I’m good.”
“Lois will pop in randomly throughout the day. I’ll be back at lunchtime. Be good.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m always good.”
“Uh-huh, somehow I don’t believe that.” He muttered something to himself. She was pretty sure she heard him saying something about running in the dark, but she ignored him.
“Luna, watch Tabby.”
The dog sat up with a short yip. Jeepers, did everyone obey him?
She drank down the last of her water. “Right, better get some more before I get back into this book.”
Damn, Razor had some good romance books.
She swung her legs over the edge of the couch as Luna let out a yip and disappeared. Oh, did she want out?
Then Luna returned. With a bottle of water in her mouth.
Tabby felt her mouth drop open. That was freaking insane. How had she done that? Luna dropped the bottle of water into her lap. After she got over her shock, Tabby gave Luna an enthusiastic pat.
“Good girl, Luna. Well done. Aren’t you clever?”
She had no idea how the dog had done that. Amazing.
A knock had her turning towards the door. She knew it was locked, Razor had told her he would lock it when he left. So the sound of the door opening had her freezing. Then Luna let out a bark, her tail wagging.
“Helloo, just me, Lois. The next-door neighbor.”
Tabby breathed out a sigh of relief. Right, the neighbor who was checking on her.
“Hello, dear, you must be Tabby.”
A fit-looking woman with short, white hair strode in. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and an oversized white shirt. She looked gorgeous and stylish. And she was carrying a container.
“Hi,” Tabby said quietly.
“Hello, Luna. How are you? I’m missing you. Yes, I am.” The woman put the container down as she greeted the dog. Then she raised her head to study Tabby. “How are you doing? Razor said you’ve hurt your ankle?”
“Um, yes, thank you for checking on me, you really didn’t have to.”
“Nonsense. I’m happy to drop in. Gosh, with everything Razor helps me with, it’s the least I could do. I baked you some chocolate chip cookies. I’ll put the container in the kitchen and put a few on a plate for you. Would you like milk or coffee with them?” she called out as she walked into the kitchen.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t have to, dear.” She ended up coming back with a glass of milk and three big cookies. “I’ll take Luna out for a walk, but do you need anything first?”
“Oh no, I’m fine.”
The woman eyed her. “You can tell me the truth, dear. Last year, I broke my ankle. Such a nuisance, but Razor was such a dear. Did so much for me around the house. Such a nice man, isn’t he?”
“He is.”
“Reminds me of my late husband, James. Not in looks, but in personality. Poor James wasn’t a hunk like Razor is.”
A hunk?
Tabby had to hide a grin.
“If I was a few years younger . . . ” Lois said with a sigh and a wink.
Oh, she was trouble.
“James had a similar personality to Razor. Quiet but firm. Lord, it took a while in the beginning of our marriage for things to sort themselves out. That man was not afraid to take me over his lap if he thought I was doing something that put myself at risk.” She winked at Tabby, who stared at her in shock.
“He spanked you?”
“My, yes. For the first few months, I didn’t sit comfortably. Looking back now, I think I goaded him on purpose. But I would never have admitted that to him. Ah, those were the days. Now, I’ll go take Luna on a walk.”
Wow. She didn’t even know what to say to that.
Later that night, she finished up a second helping of lasagna, which Lois had dropped off that afternoon when she checked in on her again. Razor had made a salad to go with it, which kind of shocked her. A man who ate salad?
They were sitting in the dine-in area in the kitchen. It had a window seat on one side then two chairs across the small table. It was pretty much the sweetest thing she’d ever seen.
“Want any more?” Razor asked, picking up both plates.
“No,” she said with a groan, rubbing her tummy. “This time I mean it.”
“Unlike all the other times when you said you were full out of politeness.”
She blushed. “Um, yeah. Can I help you tidy up?”
“Nope.”
“Razor,” she grumbled. “I’m not helpless.”
“No, you’re injured. There’s a difference.”
She sighed. “Are you still unhappy with me?”
When he’d come home at lunchtime, she’d been making her way back from the bathroom, hopping along the hallway.
“You already scolded me.”
It had gone on a good five minutes. She’d started to think she’d rather have taken a spanking. Okay, it seemed Lois had gotten into her head. Also, she’d recently read a spanking scene in one of Razor’s romance books. Sheesh, that was hot.
“If I can’t rely on you to behave yourself, I’ll need to have someone come and stay with you all day,” he told her.
She let her lower lip drop out. “I’ll behave. Did you know that Luna got me some water today? I didn’t know she could do that.”
“Luna’s a clever girl, aren’t you?” He patted the dog’s head as he moved around, tidying up.
He settled Tabby back on the couch. “Want something to drink? Beer? Wine?”
“You have wine?”
“Got some red.”
“Yes, please. A small glass.”
He returned with a glass of red for her and a beer for himself. They settled in to watch some episodes of the house renovation program they both liked. When one episode finished and he’d gotten a new beer, she turned to him.
“Did you know that Lois’ husband spanked her?”
Beer burst out of his mouth and he started coughing. “W-what?”
“Oh, sorry, I should have waited for you to swallow. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. But she didn’t seem like she was telling me a secret.”
“Um, yeah, I did know that. I knew James. He was a good man. He wasn’t abusing her.”
“No, I gathered that. She said she used to provoke him to get a spanking.”
“Brat. She could have just asked if she wanted one. I’m sure he’d have been happy to give her that.”
“I didn’t know people did that. I mean, outside of BDSM. I didn’t know that someone could like that. I didn’t like it when Luther hurt me.”
“What Luther did to you was abuse,” he said firmly.
She nodded. She knew that.<
br />
“What was between Lois and James was consensual. When they first started dating, he told her about the sort of relationship he wanted. One with a domestic discipline element. She agreed to it, even if it sounds like she found it hard to get used to in the beginning.”
“Sounds like she came to like it.”
He nodded. “Some people like having rules, having boundaries and consequences if they’re broken. Others enjoy pain. Some like to be submissive or dominant in the bedroom and nowhere else. Some might like to go to a club to play in a safe setting. They might enjoy submitting as a way of releasing stress. Maybe they don’t want to be in charge for a while, they want to let go. Others enjoy something that goes beyond the bedroom. Everyone is different. But there should be consent. Abuse is something very different.”
“I had no say in anything. I didn’t even get a say in whether I wanted to marry Luther or not. My uncle just told me what was happening. At the time, Jared was living in Boston. He wasn’t even talking to my uncle. I’m sure he would have gotten me away from Luther if he’d known how bad things were. But like I said, he thought he was protecting me by staying away. He’s not a bad person, my cousin. Everything he does isn’t good. But he has changed things about my uncle’s operations.”
Razor didn’t look like he agreed.
“Luther kept me mostly locked up in his house. The abuse wasn’t just physical. He systematically beat down my self-esteem. I started to think all the things he said about me were true. That there was no one to help me. That no one cared. That no one would ever care or love me. That I was worthless.”
“Tabby-baby.” He came over and crouched in front of her, taking her hand in his. “You know that’s not true, right? You are infinitely lovable. You are worthy of love. And there are people who care about you. Including me.”
“I know that now. I didn’t then. He got so far into my head, I didn’t even think about trying to tell Jared.”
“My mom was in a relationship with someone who abused her. We were young at the time, but I can remember seeing her with a bruised eye. Can remember the yelling at night. Waking up to find stuff smashed.”
“What happened?” she whispered.
“One day, I came home to find him hitting her. I ran into my bedroom and picked up my dad’s baseball bat. I rushed out, swinging it at him. Only, I was young and no match for that asshole. He easily took it from me, then he started hitting me as well.”
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