by Tara Brown
I squeezed through the crowd, heading for the door but he grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace again. “We have to be careful.” His voice was harsh and annoyed. Leaving him hanging when he declared his love for me had obviously made him upset. But I couldn’t pretend I loved him the same way I had, I felt betrayed and there was still a lingering feeling that I didn't even know who I was. Even after remembering most of the things lingering in my past, I still didn't know myself. The eighteen-year-old girl was gone. Her innocence and romantic notions were dying off, and in her stead was me: a girl who was becoming aware of the reality of love in a dangerous place like this one. A place where men like Murphy might take your memories and push you from the gates for the slavers to steal.
Slavers.
Why did the name still make my skin crawl?
Brooke!
My friend was still there because of me.
I hurried from Lyle’s side, dragging him with me since he refused to let go of my hand. When we reached the corridor he spun me roughly, lifting me into the air and crashed his lips down upon mine. The kiss was intense but it wasn't one I would expect from him. He was making certain no one suspected us of anything beyond fresh air. I wrapped my legs around his waist, sliding my hands up into his hair. We kissed like there wasn't enough time in our lives to express the sort of passion we were filled with.
I started to believe his kiss was as desperate as he was making it seem. I floated away on the cloud he made of angry kisses and ragged breath. My head was spinning by the time we were out into the cool air and heading for the alley next to us. He slammed my back against a brick building, lifting his hands up my sides. The night air rushed up my shirt as men’s chuckling filled the background.
Lyle turned his face, tearing his lips from mine. He cleared his throat, placing me on the ground, and made it seem as if we were seeking a more private place to fall in love for a night.
He glanced down at me as we walked, suddenly sober from being drunk on lust. “I missed you, Gwyn. I missed you every minute you were there.”
I nodded, desperately not wanting to have the conversation, but when we rounded the corner something overtook him. He spun me again, holding my arms with fervor and desperation. “I watched you believe him some days. You woke and believed the lie. You laughed and lived, and I think, deep down, you even let yourself love him a little. I told myself they had done to you what they did to all new couples, they forced the love. But it didn’t hurt less watching it all. I died inside, watching. I could tell you were attracted to him, the same as you were with Bran. I could see it. But this time I knew there was a possibility you wouldn't come back and know me. There is always a slim chance your memories won’t come back after taking the memory stealer. It isn’t a sure thing. We’ve been waiting for your memories to come back before leaving the city. We didn't want you to wake out there, scared and confused. And we’ve found things here, changed things.” His hands shook, making me tremble along with him. “But I don't want to live this way anymore. I just want to leave. I don't care about the rest of the city. I just want to be gone from it all. Our fathers can clean up the mess left behind.”
He had changed his mind about the city? He didn't want to help free the people? We had lost months of our lives coming back here and he wanted to give up the hope we might free our people?
I pulled my arms free, jerking away. “I don't know what to say, Lyle. I don't want to talk about this.”
“We have to.” He grabbed at me again.
I pulled back again. “NO, WE DON’T!” I turned and stormed up the alley. “You left me to possibly fall in love with Murphy under the guise of the system I believed in and you knew that. Yes, the engineers no doubt fixed my love for him, but you knew that would happen and you let it? I never would have done that. Never.” I shook my head, feeling sick about it all. “All that after you had made Bran kiss me every couple days for months? You keep setting me up and controlling my life the way the engineers do. I just want to be alone with my thoughts for a while, no uncertainty from guys and the club and school. I want to worry about the actual issues in my life, like my brother and my friends.” I didn't know if I had just admitted to my uncertain feelings I had for Murphy. They were part of the lie, part of the lies that I continued to be victim to.
But not anymore. I was done, officially.
We walked in angry and awkward silence, bitter at each other. When we reached the tunnels Bran was leaning against the large metal side, grinning like an alley cat might.
“You two look excited to see each other.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Murphy has been poisoned. One of us has to go back for him.”
Bran nodded. “I know.” He glanced into the darkness where a slumped figure sat.
“Miss me, baby?” Murphy asked softly. He looked worse for wear.
I instantly ran for him, an instinct that was a leftover from my forced internment with him. There was familiarity with him. I dropped to my knees, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I am so sorry.”
He chuckled softly into my neck. “I’m pretty sure you owed me.”
“I think so too.” I agreed. He grabbed onto me, letting me help him up. He was weak, I could see that. I looked at Bran. “How did you know to go to him?”
“He messaged me. I found him on the floor with his handheld next to him. He was unconscious. When he woke he told me what had happened.” Bran gave me a smug grin. “Welcome back.”
I shook my head, trying to ignore that both Bran and Lyle were giving me a hard stare. I shook my head. “If you guys have no intention of saving the city, I need to leave. I have to go for Brooke. I need to find out where she’s been sold to.”
Bran sighed. “Great, you remember everything.”
“No, not everything,” Lyle muttered. His words were an arrow straight to my heart.
“I remember my friend being taken because of me. I remember how the people of our city were taken as slaves. I remember Michael is sitting outside of the city, waiting for us. Helena is waiting for us to go and retrieve her from the river folk. I remember plenty.” I glanced back at Murphy, wondering how it was that he was fine. “I need to get out of here and get back to the slaver city.”
“No.” Lyle swallowed hard, truly the only person who understood what that meant. His fear was justified. “We have to decide what we are going to do with telling our parents about the truths we have unearthed here. And how we are freeing the people since Bran is technically the person in charge of the city.”
I was lost but Bran winced. “We may have a slight issue there.”
Lyle’s head snapped toward Bran. “We better not. We are out of fixes for issues.”
“We do.” Bran sighed. “I think our dads are planning on moving ahead with their second plotted outcome. They called it Plan B. I don't know any of the details because they didn't want the engineers to wiggle it out of me. I saw my dad this afternoon and told him I needed him to come to the city so I could show him the things we had found. I didn't have a chance to tell him all the engineers were gone. I just said that after I showed him the truth I was leaving the city. After everything we’ve found, I’m done. There’s no point in staying. Of course, we instantly fought about it. He still thinks we can fix the city and doesn't understand why I don't want to.” He glanced over at Murphy. “Our fathers sent word to Murphy hours after I had left the house, asking him to erase my memory and make certain I remained to create the necessary DNA for the fertilization. Just in case their plans don't work, they want to ensure I’m still creating people who will be free of the reset. They don't know about the engineers being gone so they think their Plan B might not work. We fought over me leaving and I got angry. I left the house and told him to just come to the city tomorrow. All the proof would be there for them. I should have told him we had killed the last engineer today.”
My insides tightened. I didn't understand but I was catching up fast.
Murphy folded h
is arms and leaned against the wall. “Don't forget the rest of it.”
Bran’s jaw clenched for a second. “Then they asked Murphy to kill Gwyn and you so you couldn't talk me out of leaving the city. I was on my way to see him about the murder contracts put on you two when I got the message, SOS. Gwyn had knocked him out with a sedative laced with an arsenic chaser. Makes you sick for a day or so.”
Lyle’s face might as well have turned to stone. He didn't flinch or move. His stare remained cold and angry. His blue eyes glowed like ice, free of emotion, apart from possible hatred. “To hell with them all then. We’ve technically freed the city, in a sense. The people just don't know they’re free. Let’s just make sure the evidence is very obvious for them, the whole story is laid out, and then we leave, tonight.”
Bran shook his head. “I don't care if they even know the truth now, I just want to get out of here. I see it as a prison and not a home. And clearly our fathers have less care for us than this hell hole.”
Murphy shrugged. “If the city is theirs, they really shouldn't care if you are here to save it or not.”
Lyle nodded. “We have a few guards who still think they work for Frank. Once they realize there are new orders, the city will fully be ours.”
My stomach sank. Had my father been aware of it all? Was that why he had demanded I leave the city tonight? My eyes dragged my face to Murphy. “You were meant to kill me tonight?”
He flinched but then nodded once.
“You went to my father and told him, didn't you?”
He nodded again. He had done the one thing he could think of to save me.
“What if I hadn’t remembered today?”
It took him a moment to answer. “Your father will be at the gate tonight. He was always going to be at the gate tonight. If your memories never returned, he was going to take you to the river people or the kingdom if he could find it. Lyle drew up a map of sorts for me a while back.”
“Where’s Michael?”
“He went back to the river people to get Helena. He’s ensuring that none of our people end up there. He agreed to bring anyone from the gates to the kingdom. But he is only one man—he can’t make it to the gate for every expulsion.” Lyle gave me a look. “Your dad has always known mine.”
I nodded. “I know.” I looked back at Murphy. “Did you set my messages today on my handheld to make it so I would be suspicious all day?”
He grinned. “I have tried every possible code word. The memory stealer comes with a built in code to break it, but I had been giving you memory maker in different doses for some time. The code doesn't work until the effects start to kick in. I saved the right dose for last, I guess.”
“You saved the best for last on purpose. You wanted more time.” Lyle scoffed but his anger was obvious.
“Never kiss and tell, Lyle.” Murphy winked at me.
I blushed, backing away from all three sets of eyes. Bran’s were annoyed but there was still a bit of humor in them. Lyle’s were hostile and savage. Murphy’s were smug. I wanted nothing to do with any of them at that moment. I wanted to find my friends and free the ones who were still slaves. The forced feelings I had for each of them were a distraction from the real issues we were part of. “I don't want to stay here and fight for this city. I’m leaving with my parents at midnight. Whatever you have to do with your parents, is your problem. I’m done with the city. I don't care anymore. I’ll save the people I love. The people I know in my heart I have genuine feelings for.”
Lyle looked like he might argue but I could see that he wouldn't. My words had hurt him badly. I knew he would just do the thing I needed him to do. Bran was the sort who would always talk the talk and walk the walk and do what needed to be done. But Lyle would do the thing I needed him to do, he always did. His loyalty was his second most attractive trait. Second to that damned dimple that sucked me in every time.
Murphy was the one I couldn't place. He was the unknown entity to me. We had lived together as husband and wife for three months. I didn't know what that meant. I hoped it didn’t mean I wasn't pure anymore. That would bother me. Not to mention, I would hope he was more of a gentleman than that. The smug grin on his face suggested otherwise. But the angry look in Lyle’s eyes told me he wouldn't have ever let me go somewhere dangerous, not without him there too.
“What time is it now?” I asked, desperate for a subject change from the thoughts filling my head.
“After ten.” Bran offered up, annoyed.
I nodded and walked into the dark tunnel. “Then I’ll see you at the gate or somewhere else in this crazy world, but I’m not staying to get killed by your fathers or by the war that will come with the uprising of these people when they see the truth of the city.” I walked away, wishing I had never come back to the city. The ideology of a young girl believing she could save the people of The Last City of Men no longer roamed my mind. The wish to free them had left me, along with several other layers belonging to the girl I had once been. Hope, joy, peace, bliss, love. They were words I no longer saw as part of my personality.
Twins, sort of
I weaved my way through the city, using my old memories to guide me. I remembered the city well, well enough that I nearly saw the ghosts of the memories I had. They weren’t learned memories like the rest of my entire life, they were flashes. A face in a crowd, a random rainstorm, a cry of agony. All of them just little pieces that added up to nothing and yet weighed more than anything I could measure against.
I gripped to my shabby jacket, cold in a way that couldn't be fixed. It was like my spirit was cold and damp. When I got to the place where the gates opened and the people were shoved out into the sand and chaos, I slumped against the building I had once waited at.
I sat there shivering but numb. Even my breath seemed to get lost in the silence of the deserted spot in the city. Footsteps interrupted my silence. I didn't need to look over to know them. They were planted in my brain long ago—the sound of those feet and the way they moved with purpose. When Lyle sat next to me, slumping into the dirt and grass, he sighed and slipped his hand into mine.
“We’ve found things, Gwyn. Since you lost your memories, we found things. I was trying to tell you before. You have to come.”
I didn't need to look at him to know how bad they were. His voice was filled with hesitation and sadness.
“The city is more than a work farm. They didn't come to help us—Lisabeth didn't come to help us.” He squeezed, making my fingers ache with the heat of his hand. “Let me show you what we don't even know how to tell our fathers or anyone else about.” He stood and lifted me with him. “We want you to see why we have kept this secret.”
I nearly protested but when I saw the other two faces in the shadows I didn't bother. The three of them could talk me into almost anything. I was that easily swayed by a handsome face and a charming smile. I hated that about myself. We walked in silence, none of us even whispering. When we reached the building we had once lived in, my breath got lodged in my throat. I stopped, digging my heels in. “We can’t go inside of there.”
Bran lifted his thumb to the scanner. “We can.” He opened the door, nodding at the guard. I paused, tilting my head. “Tyler?”
He grinned. “Evening.” He winked at me in the shmoozie way he had all of our lives. The only thing that ever saved us girls from his handsome and charming ways was that he was more in love with himself than anyone else. His guard’s suit didn't fit.
Bran glanced back at me, giving me the most heartbreaking look I had ever seen. “We have recruited. The building is ours but no one knows. There are just too many of the old guards who have memories still and orders to fulfill. We don't have a plan yet for taking control of them.” He tried to smile but I could see it didn't quite fit his lips. It wasn't the smile I had seen dozens of times. He looked lost and broken, and I had a feeling I was to blame.
My insides twisted as we walked to the elevator, the very elevator that once led to Lyle’s and my
house. When we got inside, I kept my face down. Bran snickered. “They don't know the planners and engineers are all dead.”
I glanced at him, looking up through my lashes. “What?”
He gave me a grin. It was the real one, the one that made my heart flutter. “We’ve killed them all.”
“Weren’t most of them innocent?” I had assumed they were tricked by the evil Lisabeth.
“No.” Lyle squeezed my hand again. “We can explain when we get upstairs.”
The elevator felt as if it were taking me to my death. I stood, frozen and scared, as it finally landed on the floor we sought. I flinched when the doors opened, making my company of men chuckle and shake their heads. When we walked out I shuddered, remembering the long white corridors.
“We’ve killed them all but managed to run the city still, exactly the way it should be. We found something in that room you discovered, with the woman.” Bran walked and talked, looking back at me. Everyone else clearly knew what to expect. “She isn’t alive or dead, she’s frozen, preserved in this liquid.” He walked us down to the library, the place I had first felt wonderment in its true form. The books were amazing and intriguing. As we walked to the stairs, I ran my fingers along the books’ spines, wishing I could go back in time in some ways.
When we got to the long white corridor with the doors I couldn't fight the feeling of the walls closing in on me. The rounded ceilings made me nervous. I longed for the open sky and the stars or sun on my face. He opened the door—the one I knew was a mistake. But no guards came, apart from Tyler who had stayed with us until the elevator.
The woman, the long and sleeping Lisabeth with the pointed head, was there. The blue light drew me near, just as it had last time. We walked to her, all staring down. “They harvest her cells, her DNA, and combine it with ours. Every person here is part of an experiment it seems.”